Are you a man... or a mouse?
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Posted:Mar 19, 2006 9:12 am
Last Updated:Mar 22, 2006 11:00 am
17593 Views
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What sort of a man is it, that will make fun of a woman, simply to remain in favour with another?
What sort of a man? It doesn't matter that the woman you chose to make fun of was me. It was that you chose to do it.
You disappoint me, Sir. I have now seen you in a new light, and quite frankly, I am not impressed.
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Reaching the Naughties!!
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Posted:Mar 19, 2006 8:47 am
Last Updated:Mar 20, 2006 1:18 am
17336 Views
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My Posts: 327
Comments Received
Total: 1999
Last 30 Days: 169
Hhhhmmmmm... wonder who post the 2,000th comment? 
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Snappy Answer of The Year - The Teacher
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Posted:Mar 19, 2006 6:42 am
Last Updated:Mar 21, 2006 12:28 am
17459 Views
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A university lecturer reminds her students of tomorrow's final exam. "Now, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!"
A smart-arse bloke in the back of the room raised his hand and asks, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class does its best to stifle their laughter.
When silence is restored, the lecturer smiles sympathetically at the student, shakes her head, and sweetly says, "Well, I suppose you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."
*** Thanks to one of my students for these! 
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Snappy Answer # 2
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Posted:Mar 19, 2006 6:34 am
Last Updated:Mar 19, 2006 8:42 am
17248 Views
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A lorry driver was driving along. A sign comes up that reads "Low bridge ahead." Before he knows it the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets
stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles.
Finally, a police car comes up. The policeman gets out of his car and walks around to the lorry driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck?"
The lorry driver says, "No mate, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of petrol."
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Snappy Answer # 3
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Posted:Mar 19, 2006 6:32 am
Last Updated:Mar 19, 2006 7:50 am
17064 Views
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The policewoman got out of her car and the lad who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the Policewoman said. The lad replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could."
When the policewoman finally stopped laughing, she sent the lad on his way without a ticket.
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Snappy Answer # 4
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Posted:Mar 19, 2006 6:29 am
Last Updated:Mar 19, 2006 7:50 am
17052 Views
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A lady was picking through the frozen chickens at the supermarket, but couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked the shelf stacker, "Do these chickens get any bigger?" He replied, "No, they're dead."
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Snappy Answer # 5
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Posted:Mar 19, 2006 6:27 am
Last Updated:Mar 19, 2006 7:51 am
16918 Views
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A stewardess was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket, and he opened his coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub."
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Dream a little dream of me...
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Posted:Mar 18, 2006 4:23 pm
Last Updated:May 1, 2024 7:7 am
17432 Views
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I close my eyes... and I can feel your lips.
The caress of your tongue... as it takes gentle sips.
The feel of your rough... rubbing on my smooth.
The grind of your hips... as we get into the groove.
The curve of your body... as it wraps around me.
The tease of my nipple... as you set my heart free.
The sound of your breathing... a sigh hits the air.
The feel of your fingers... as they tug through my hair.
Your passion slides deeper... as it reaches the top.
To the edge it keeps pushing... oh, please, please don't stop!
With a start, I awake... it's not all that is seems.
I am alone in my bed... with you in my dreams.
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My PJs...
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Posted:Mar 18, 2006 5:11 am
Last Updated:Mar 21, 2006 12:29 am
17186 Views
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Think of PJs, and you're bound to think of something warm, cozy and snuggly. When it's cold out, and the winds howling and banging on the windows, trying desperately to let the cold in, there is nothing nicer than being snuggled up in your favourite pair of PJs and fluffy slippers.
I have PJs... but they are actually two people. Two men who make me feel warm, cozy and totally loved.
P is Mr Hansen, my husband for 15 years, and my partner for 17. I met him when I was 21. I'd had a privileged life up to that point, but privilege and money is no replacement for love and affection, which I had sadly been lacking from my dad and his wife. They say money can't buy you love, and I know only too well that this is so true.
I won't bore you with the details of my childhood, but when I say that I have both mental and physical scars, I am sure you can understand why I'd rather not talk about it all. I will never claim to have been a "good little girl", undeserving of punishment, but as a parent myself, I believe there is NO EXCUSE! There is nothing wrong with "sensible" punishment, but you need to let your (ren) know that you still love them.
Mr Hansen was a Godsend. He saved my life, and I truly believe that. I was heading nowhere fast, and my finger was hovering over my self-destruct button, it was that close to call. Despite everything, he showed me love, and married me, knowing that his love for me was far greater than my love for him. My love and affection for him has grown over the years, and we are the proud parents of our , a who was definitely borne of that love and affection.
I met Mr Hansen when I was 21, and yes, I had packed quite a bit into my short, sexual life, having lost my virginity at 18. But despite all that, I was quite inexperienced, and totally clueless in most things. He has taught me so much, and like all teachers, is always happy for me to carry on learning. It is to this end that we entered into an "open" marriage. He is happy to let me play, as long as I am careful. All he wants is *my* happiness.
Enter J, a man who has come to mean so much to me in the few months we have been "together". In truth, J came into my life almost a year ago, and our first "meeting" is one I don't think either of us will forget... lol, he won't let me! I met him in the Euro Hot Tub, my favourite chat room on this site. Yes, I do pop into other rooms on occasion, but the EHT is my home, and I'm practically part of the fixtures and fittings now! Anyway... J came into the EHT, bored with chat in another room, and soon became a popular chatter with the EHT regulars. As the months went by, I was happy to call this man my friend, and in September last year, I made arrangements to meet up with him. All my first meets are "hands on the table at all times" coffee meets, because let's face it, hitting it off in chat is one thing, but having that "spark" in person can be quite another. Little did I know that J had felt that spark when meeting me. I'll be honest and admit that I did like him, but to me, he was a friend, and at that time was "otherwise engaged" with a chatroom friend. Lol, even I was in the middle of my first fling, so I honestly wasn't looking!
Roll forward a few months, things had changed for both of us, and it was just before Christmas when we met up again. After spending the day with him, I realised that *this* man was someone rather wonderful, but how to tell him that. Was it worth risking our wonderful friendship? How many times had I heard that once you'd crossed the line from friend to lover, that friendship would vanish. Heck... who was to say we'd be compatible in the bedroom? Neither of us knew, and we were both *very* nervous when we met up again. In essence, we're actually both rather shy (now, now, no snorting please!!) and I guess it was lucky that J broke the ice with that first kiss... in the middle of a busy London pavement.
Since that moment... well, how does one tell the world just how blessed you feel? Here I am, a woman in her late 30s, finally getting her weight sorted out (I'm now not fat, but neither am I thin) and I have two men in my life who adore me, each in their own unique way. P & J are two totally different characters, and to me, they complement one another without even realising it. Will these two men meet? Who knows... maybe, and then again, maybe not. Only time will tell.
As for me... I shall just mentally snuggle into my PJs, and enjoy this moment. And thank my lucky stars that I have been so wonderfully blessed!
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How Blogging Has Changed!!
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Posted:Mar 18, 2006 3:28 am
Last Updated:Mar 24, 2006 9:23 am
17614 Views
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For the first time in a long time, I've finally had the chance to sit down and actually read and catch up with the interesting blogs I have on My Watched Blogs list.
I've noticed that even in the last couple of months, others, like myself, are not blogging as prolifically as we once did. I guess that thing called "life" is demanding our attention, and so it should. Yeah, so I have an addiction, but I've also got friends who are wondering where I've vanished too! Lol, that would be literally and figuratively too! 
One thing I've noted with interest, is that since all the new (and from my point of view, much needed) changes have been introduced to Blogville, that the balance of power has shifted too. Reading the Top Bloggers in Europe list makes for a refreshing change. For too long, this list was dominated by bloggers who quite happily used alter-ego profiles, or their network of friends, to comment on their blogs, which had the potential to over-inflate their ratings. I'm pleased that "unique comments" has come in, because even I was guilty of reading the same old blogs, day in and day out. Hell yes, even I can admit that I was commenting on those same-said blogs, hence my comment about the network of friends. It was a "you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours" world.
Today I went and had a look at the list again, and there were a few new (and rather pretty!!) faces there! Topping the list is relative newcomer Samantha192, and after having a little nose through [blog Samantha192], I have to admit I was suitably impressed by the writing talents of this lovely young lady. I'm sure many of the men have been drawn by Samantha192, but let me tell you this... that pretty face hides a very sharp mind!!
Next on the list is Blogville's favourite bum... er, that should read bum shot! Papyrina has been drawing in the crowds with Papys diary almost since blogging on A F F began, and she's still going strong. Well done, Papy, and I, along with many others, wait to see what your pert little will be saying next!
Another newcomer (well, for me, anyway) is the lovely TabithaElectra79. London seems to be the hot-bed of blogging talent in Europe right now, and a read through Sweetest Thing certainly cements my view. It doesn't hurt, of course, that Tabitha is also very easy on the eye ... TabithaElectra79, as I am sure you'll agree!
Fourth on the list is my new pal Babel__Fish, who is an American living in Belgium. Babel brings a new and rather interesting dimension to Blogville with ♥♥ Please and Serve ♥♥, which lets us take a peek into her life which she happily shares with her Master. Don't be fooled... Babel__Fish is a smart woman, and this comes through in her writing!
I'm rather pleased that freetime648 comes in at 5th on the list, as it won't be long before Free will be leaving Europe and heading back to Idaho, home of the humble spud, or so Free would have us believe! >>Spoons and Smiles... Always!<< has always been a wonderful read, and finally meeting Free in February was just the icing on the cake for me. Suddenly, this blog came alive and while I may not have as close a friendship with freetime648 as some of the other Euro Hot Tubbers do, I shall certainly be crying just a little when she takes her family (including the adorable Poot) back with her. We have one last visit on the cards, because Heaven alone only knows when I shall get the chance to go spudding!
So, there we have it. Europe's Top Bloggers! What an awesome read, and if you've not had the pleasure, go make yourself a coffee, sit down and do yourself a favour. You won't be disappointed... I promise! As for me... I'm quite content to be trailing somewhere in the distance - after all, I had my moment in the sun, and it's time to let someone else have that pleasure now!
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Thanks A F F!
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Posted:Mar 18, 2006 2:38 am
Last Updated:Mar 21, 2006 12:29 am
16516 Views
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Okay, so I'm a happy blogger once again. My potential nightmare weekend, of going through my old blogs and painting them with colour is no longer necessary, and instead, I can sit here, sipping on my coffee, and enjoying reading other blogs and typing a few of my own.
Lol, I'm never going to be competing with the best of the best (have you read some of those top blogs??), but as long as you read 'em, I'll think about writing 'em!
I'm armed with my MP3 player, my dictionary, and an endless supply of delicious coffee. Oh, and a long weekend! 
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I Belong To You...
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Posted:Mar 18, 2006 1:58 am
Last Updated:Mar 18, 2006 1:59 am
16530 Views
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You are the flame in my heart
You light my way in the dark
You are the ultimate star
You lift me from up above
Your unconditional love
Takes me to paradise
I belong to you
And you
You belong to me too
You make my life complete
You make me feel so sweet
You make me feel so divine
Your soul and mine are entwined
Before you I was blind
But since I've opened my eyes
And with you there's no disguise
So I could open up my mind
I always loved you from the start
But I could not figure out
That I had to do it everyday
So I put away the fight
Now I'm gonna live my life
Giving you the most in every way
I belong to you
And you
You belong to me too
You make my life complete
You make me feel so sweet
Oh I belong to you
I belong to you
And you, you
You belong to me too
You make my life complete
You make me feel so sweet
Oh I belong to you
I belong to you
And you, you
You belong to me too
You make my life complete
You make my life complete
You make me feel so sweet
Oh I belong to you
I belong to you
And you, and you
You belong to me too
You make my life complete
You make my life complete
You make me feel so sweet
***Lyrics by Lenny Kravitz
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Best Laid Plans...
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Posted:Mar 17, 2006 3:06 pm
Last Updated:Mar 24, 2006 7:03 am
17334 Views
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I had it all planned. It was going to be such fun. Travelling to Holland, and meeting up with people I had come to know over the past year, through the chat rooms and Blogville. My bag was virtually packed from the day it was suggested to have a Euro-based Bloggers Convention. But you know what they say about the best-laid plans of mice and men...
It started in late October. My back was going out more than I was at the time, and I spent weeks in excrutiating agony, high on pills, low on morale and wondering if I was ever going to see the end of this terrible time.
That time also kick-started another life-changing moment... losing weight. Now, only if you had met me before October, would you know that I have actually lost a lot of weight. Lol, we're not talking "half the girl I once was" to coin a phrase my dad used, but losing almost a third of my body weight is and was going to have a serious impact on my life. To say that it has changed my life is a serious understatement. It has. End of story. Well, not quite "end of story". Losing weight has helped with my medical woes, to a certain degree, but not completely.
This past week I went to have my *major medical moment*... an MRI, and now I wait. And while I wait, I cry inside, because I have to unpack my suitcase, and put away my clogs and tulips. Sadly, I am no longer able to commit myself to travelling to Leiden, and next weekend, while friends and fellow bloggers meet and greet, talk, drink and party the night away, I will be curled up on my sofa, feeling very sorry for myself. Sometimes a person just has to bite the bullet, and admit defeat, and I am doing that now.
It's just too much to cope with, right now, and my wallet is also feeling the pinch of cars breaking down at inopportune moments, tyres being shredded and needing replacement, and sadly, when you drive expensive cars, you pay expensive prices to have them repaired.
To say I am disappointed would be a total understatement. However, I hope that everyone going to Leiden next weekend has a wonderful time, and I hope I get to read all about your Dutch adventures in your blogs once you get back home!
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To link to this blog (helga_hansen) use [blog helga_hansen] in your messages.
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