True Love
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Posted:Aug 17, 2014 6:26 pm
Last Updated:Apr 29, 2024 12:14 pm
3378 Views
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An elderly gent was invited to an old friend's home for dinner one evening. He was impressed by the way his buddy preceded every request to his wife with endearing terms such as: Darling, Honey, My Love, Pumpkin, Sweetheart, etc.
The couple had been married almost 70 years and, clearly, they were still very much in love.
While the wife was in the kitchen, the man leaned over to his host, and said: "I think it's wonderful that, after all these years, you still call your wife those loving pet names."
The old man hung his head. "I have to tell you
the truth," he said. "Her name slipped my mind about 10 years a go, -- and I'm scared to death to ask the old bitch what it is."
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True Event
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Posted:Aug 15, 2014 6:08 pm
Last Updated:Aug 20, 2014 1:13 pm
3708 Views
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Well todays laugh for me made me remember way back when. I was living with my wonderful girlfriend and her mom. This was back when I lived in NJ. As many of us, I always slept in the nude. Well it was bedtime and I needed to get something from the kitchen so I put on my robe and proceeded downstairs. The stairs in our home were always very narrow and the carpet was a very slippery wool. There are about 6 steps then a turn to a landing followed by another turn and then probably 10 steps to the floor.
My girlfriends mom was watching TV in the living room with her back to me sitting in her recliner. I made it to the second step on the second part of the landing when oops..... my feet flew out from underneath me. I landed on my hip and leg. The robe flew wide open with me completely exposed to the world. LOL
The moment I hit, I knew I was hurt. But the embarrassment of being caught naked by my girlfriends mom had me jump up so fast wrapping the robe around me to cover up I don't think you could have blinked an eye I did it so quick.
Instantly her mom came to my aide. Needless to say, we all had made that fall down those damn stairs. Just not normally all the way up at the top!!! She held my arm asking if I was okay. I was certainly sore but I assured her I was okay. The thud was so loud my girlfriend who was in the shower at the time got out shower before finishing to see what had happened.
Did I get any sympathy??? Hell NO! She laughed when I told her the story as she inspected my very large bruise on my rump and thigh that lasted for a couple of weeks. Yes she did feel bad for me and did take care of me well but never stopped laughing at me because she kept picturing my naked body flying through the air and me covering up so quickly etc.... At least I was able to give somebody a laugh out of it.
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Dropping the Towel
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Posted:Aug 15, 2014 5:55 pm
Last Updated:Aug 20, 2014 1:12 pm
3445 Views
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I know we have all heard this one but here it today's put a smile on my face and naughty image in my head for the day 
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.
When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, ‘I’ll give you $800 to drop that towel.’
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.
The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.
When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, ‘Who was that?’
‘It was Bob the next door neighbor,’ she replies.
‘Great,’ the husband says, ‘did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?
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Little Debbie
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Posted:Aug 13, 2014 2:07 pm
Last Updated:Aug 16, 2014 7:03 pm
4477 Views
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Little Debbie was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me Debbie, who created the universe?" When Debbie didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear.
"God Almighty!" shouted Debbie and the teacher said, "Very good" and Debbie fell back asleep.
A while later the teacher asked Debbie, "Who is our Lord and Saviour." But, Debbie didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again.
"Jesus Christ!" shouted Debbie and the teacher said, "Very good," and Debbie fell back asleep.
Then the teacher asked Debbie a third question. "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third ?" and again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin.
This time Debbie jumped up and shouted, "If you stick me with that thing one more time, I'll break it in half and stick it up your ass!"
... the teacher fainted!
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15
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Fishing Hooks
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Posted:Aug 12, 2014 10:32 pm
Last Updated:Aug 16, 2014 7:01 pm
3494 Views
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A keen country lad applied for a salesman's job at a city department store. In fact it was the biggest store in the world - you could get anything there. The boss asked him, "Have you ever been a salesman before?" Yes, I was a salesman in the country" said the lad. The boss liked the cut of him and said, "You can start tomorrow and I'll come and see you when we close up." The day was long and arduous for the young man, but finally 5 o'clock came around. The boss duly fronted up and asked, "How many sales did you make today?" "One," said the young salesman. "Only one?" blurted the boss, "most of my staff make 20 or 30 sales a day. How much was the sale worth?" "Three hundred thousand dollars," said the young man. "How did you manage that?" asked the flabbergasted boss. "Well," said the salesman "this man came in and I sold him a small fish hook, then a medium hook and finally a really large hook. Then I sold him a small fishing line, a medium one and a huge big one. I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the coast. I said he would probably need a boat, so I took him down to the boat department and sold him that twenty foot schooner with the twin engines. Then he said his Volkswagen probably wouldn't be able to pull it, so I took him to the car department and sold him the new Deluxe Cruiser." The boss took two steps back and asked in astonishment, "You sold all that to a guy who came in for a fish hook?" "No," answered the salesman "He came in to buy a box of Tampons for his wife and I said to him, 'Your weekend's shot, you may as well go fishing.'"
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Some days I miss this place
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Posted:Aug 10, 2014 5:27 pm
Last Updated:Aug 13, 2014 2:15 pm
3421 Views
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Hello everyone! I hardly remember the last time I logged I to this site. All is reasonably good. Lately we have been going through some sorrowful times. We recently lost my wife's sister did to a sudden stroke. I've had foot surgery on my foot making it impossible for me to help out with all that has to be done. This drives a wedge between the wife and I. Me feeling guilty about not being able to help and her blaming me for not waiting to have surgery at a later time. I realize my wife's anger that got so directed at me stems from the loss of her sister and not really me but I'll say tears flowed from both of us. We seldom fight but this one hurt.
I try to be compassionate and understanding. I try hard not to use my temporary disability be a burden on her. I want to reach out and grab her, hold her and make her hurt and anger go away. But as we all know, that isn't possible.
I have always had a different viewpoint about death. Our loss saddens me and yes I cried when the text came through at 1:48am that she had passed. At the same time I was relieved that she won't be a vegetable. From the time we got her to the hospital till death was only about 12 hours. She is at peace. The difficult part is for us left behind that miss her. The worst for me was at the service when our couldn't stop crying and neither I not my wife could comfort him. Truthfully I encouraged his tears and just held him with love.
In time our pain will lesson and the smiles will return to us all. For the meantime we keep pushing forward performing what task needs to be done and let the tears fall as they may.
What any of his has to do with the title of this post I don't know but if for nothing else it has been a distraction for a little while. I honestly miss some of the friends I made here a while back. There are some really wonderful people here if you take the time to know who they are. I hope life for each of you is working out well. May your dreams both naughty and nice come true. Perhaps since I have a bit of down time with my foot healing I may stop in a little more often.
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Where Did I Go?
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Posted:Jan 8, 2013 6:20 am
Last Updated:Aug 10, 2014 5:07 pm
10835 Views
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Hello World! I'm still alive and haven't fallen off a cliff. There have been so many changes happen, it is difficult to know exactly where to start. Mos t of you know, I took a new job starting this past March. Well that job has consumed most of my life. y work days change weekly and just as soon as you think you have the schedule figured out, they up and change it on me.  Strangely enough, you do grow accustomed to it after a while.
The Mrs and I are actually in a good place it seems. She herself have had three years of hell on her current job. I along with our have made it clear, we no longer approve of her staying where she is at. She insists on staying even though other opportunities have presented themselves multiple times. In the middle of all the insanity, it seems her eyes have opened up to what she has and what she was missing out upon. And our level of communication has opened back up again. Our little guy who isn't so little anymore is still having his struggles but even though his grades aren't what we want them to be, he is much happier this school year than in the past.
I guess what the important message for today is..... We really are okay. Sure life isn't easy. No one ever promised me it would be. I'll always desire more and better for the ones I love. I'll probably never live up to my own expectations of what I feel I should be as a provider, lover, husband and father.But it is all okay. I have been blessed to have some of the greatest friends in the world. Some here and in the real world. In some cases, both at the same time. Please know those of you who have had an impact in my heart, you stay in my heart and a in my thoughts and prayers on a regular basis. It doesn't matter how small or big that impact has been, if you have made it on my list, you're on my list permanently. There is more than enough room and love to go around and always room for more.
For a quick health update: Growing older sure hasn't helped with the aches and pains.Sadly, even with health insurance, I can't seem to find a way to get this torn knee fixed. The same goes for the left hand that limits even my motorcycle riding abilities.  My diabetes is in check. I live with diabetes but I refuse to let it rule who I am. Kidney function still seems to be my doctors only real concern. I'd love to say I had a handle on my weight but for some reason, I keep bouncing up and down. 203 is my low and boy I wish I could keep it there but fro whatever reason, my body seems to like 212-215 better. Not terrible but still 15-20 more than I want it to be. So again, to all those with health concerns... Do the right thing and for the most part, it can all be controlled and managed. I may never get rid of my diabetes but I can sure live a long and happy life.
As for what my future holds for me here or elsewhere, I haven't a clue. I'll continue to take things one day at a time and try to keep myself prepared for what falls in front of me. Know I'm only a phone call, text or an email away if you need me.
Love to All
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Isn't This the Truth?
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Posted:Aug 21, 2012 7:48 pm
Last Updated:Aug 25, 2014 8:27 am
11736 Views
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Checking out at the store, the young cashier suggested to the older woman, that she should bring her own grocery bags because plastic bags weren't good for the environment.
The woman apologized and explained, "We didn't have this green thing back in my earlier days."
The young clerk responded, "That's our problem today. Your generation did not care enough to save our environment for future generations."
She was right -- our generation didn't have the green thing in its day.
Back then, we returned milk bottles, soda bottles and beer bottles to the store. The store sent them back to the plant to be washed and sterilized and refilled, so it could use the same bottles over and over. So they really were recycled.
But we didn't have the green thing back in our day.
Grocery stores bagged our groceries in brown paper bags that we reused for numerous things, most memorable besides household garbage bags, was the use of brown paper bags as book covers for our schoolbooks. This was to ensure that public property, (the books provided for our use by the school) was not defaced by our scribblings. Then we were able to personalize our books on the brown paper bags.
But too bad we didn't do the green thing back then.
We walked up stairs, because we didn't have an escalator in every store and office building. We walked to the grocery store and didn't climb into a 300-horsepower machine every time we had to go two blocks.
But she was right. We didn't have the green thing in our day.
Back then, we washed the baby's diapers because we didn't have the throw away kind. We dried clothes on a line, not in an energy-gobbling machine burning up 220 volts -- wind and solar power really did dry our clothes back in our early days. got hand-me-down clothes from their brothers or sisters, not always brand-new clothing.
But that young lady is right; we didn't have the green thing back in our day.
Back then, we had one TV, or radio, in the house -- not a TV in every room. And the TV had a small screen the size of a handkerchief (remember them?), not a screen the size of the state of Montana. In the kitchen, we blended and stirred by hand because we didn't have electric machines to do everything for us. When we packaged a fragile item to send in the mail, we used wadded up old newspapers to cushion it, not Styrofoam or plastic bubble wrap. Back then, we didn't fire up an engine and burn gasoline just to cut the lawn. We used a push mower that ran on human power. We exercised by working so we didn't need to go to a health club to run on treadmills that operate on electricity.
But she's right; we didn't have the green thing back then.
We drank from a fountain when we were thirsty instead of using a cup or a plastic bottle every time we had a drink of water. We refilled writing pens with ink instead of buying a new pen, and we replaced the razor blades in a razor instead of throwing away the whole razor just because the blade got dull.
But we didn't have the green thing back then.
Back then, people took the streetcar or a bus and rode their bikes to school or walked instead of turning their moms into a 24-hour taxi service. We had one electrical outlet in a room, not an entire bank of sockets to power a dozen appliances. And we didn't need a computerized gadget to receive a signal beamed from satellites 23,000 miles out in space in order to find the nearest burger joint.
But isn't it sad the current generation laments how wasteful we old folks were just because we didn't have the green thing back then?
Please forward this on to another selfish old person who needs a lesson in conservation from a smart ass young person...
We don't like being old in the first place, so it doesn't take much to piss us off.
``Practice random kindness and senseless acts of beauty.'' Anonymous
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A quick Hello and update
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Posted:Jul 4, 2012 5:31 pm
Last Updated:Aug 21, 2012 9:26 pm
12066 Views
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To all my friends out here that pop in a message to me once in a while. Thanks! It is nice to know I'm still appreciated and even missed around here. As most all of you know, I've a recent job change that came into my life. This new job has really consumed much of my time. When not working, I'm usually resting up for the next torturous day. The major positive to this new job is I'm sweating and working my ass off LITERALLY!!!!
I still try popping in and even make brief stops here and there but I want to ask your forgiveness for not being able to spend much quality time with you. When things settle down a bit, I do hope to be back in full. Not a day goes by that I'm not at least thinking of many of you here and I hope all is well in your personal lives. For me, I'd love to say it was all as beautiful as a bed of roses but lately, I've sure been hitting those pesky thorns and drawing blood left and right. This too all shall pass so for now, it is back to one day at a time and even one moment at a time when need be.
I also decided to make a minor update to my profile. Below is what I've posted. If you think it's fine or even if you think it sucks, I value your input. So speak freely but remember, keep it respectful for all our sakes.
Update Profile info:
It's been a while since I updated anything here so I thought perhaps it was time. I have been on this site for a while now and have met in person several people I consider rather neat people to have as friends. I still stick around because of these friends I've made here.
For a while, i got into the blogs and I still recommend that as a good start to getting to know others near you as well as elsewhere. A new job has come into my life that pretty much has my devoted attention. I do pop in on a regular basis but seldom am I in for more than a few minutes. I know things at work will settle down eventually. For now, I'm still learning the job and doing my best to master the skill and trade. One positive to all the working I've been doing, I'm literally sweating my ass off. I've gone form 239 lbs 5 weeks ago down to 218 lbs. so I'm not going to complain about that.
As for the rest of me, not much has changed. Family and friends are still a big priority for me. I enjoy getting to know people online but i really LOVE having the opportunity to meet face to face. Getting laid just isn't that important compared to making new friends that last. I enjoy being open minded and sort of a free spirit but I also enjoy my privacy.
So if you are in the mood for meeting someone that cares more abotu the inside than the outside, stop on in and pay me a visit. As for anything else, we will have plenty of time to fill in the blanks later.
Hope to hear from you soon. All respectful inquiries will get a respectful response.
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In Memory Of
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Posted:Jun 3, 2012 2:25 pm
Last Updated:Jun 4, 2012 5:33 pm
12567 Views
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Early this morning, we lost one of our great bloggers from here. I do not possess the words to do her justice but none the less I will try to do my best. Many of us knew her and her husband from their outrageous stories. Many of them were obvious stories while others made you stop and wonder if this could actually be true? If nothing else, neither of them ever failed to put a smile on your face.
I had the privileged of meeting both of them face to face at a dinner I was able to put together one night. From where they live, it may has been the opposite side of the earth but I'm so happy they showed. Even though her health wasn't well even that night, the muster up the courage to come anyway says something about who she was.
Today when I found out, I called her husband in hopes of cheering him up. He too is an amazing man. I call him to give condolences and cheering and he instead cheers me and puts a smile on my face. I won't tell all the details as I reserve that to him but I will say that she peacefully left us while she slept early this morning.
This wonderful lady I keep speaking of is none other than the marvelous AtomicTwatCpl
Please remember to keep Chuck and his family in your thoughts and prayers. I know Bambi is gone on to a much better and happier place. She no longer suffers any illness or sorrow. We want to celebrate her life with us and even though she may be gone from us in the physical sense, she will not be forgotten and will be sorely missed from this place. Thank you Bambi for all that you contributed to each of us.
In Loving Memory....
R
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What a Great I have
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Posted:Apr 22, 2012 11:55 am
Last Updated:Apr 27, 2012 10:27 pm
12566 Views
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The other day, my was hanging out with his Paw. They were early for a baseball game after school so they decided to hit the doughnut shop across the street from the park. As they were sitting down to eat, My little man put his down, got up from his chair and walked over to the front door.
Not seen by his Paw, my had seen an elderly man having difficulty getting out of his car using his cane to walk with. So my little man went to open the door and hold it open for him making sure he got into the store okay or if he needed any other assistance.
Now this isn't the first time my has done something like this. Naturally, he seems to have a care giver personality. I'm really okay with it too. I see it as a gift for him. Not something we as parents had to teach him. this is something that has been inside him since he began interacting with others. he has always seemed to take the protector role.
For all the learning issues he has and the disobedience issue we face with our , I still could not have asked for a better . I often think I'm too hard on my but if how I parent him keeps him on the path he seems to be taking, then I think his mom and I are a success at doing our jobs as parents. Watching my little man grow up is difficult yet such a joy at the same time. I can't wait to see the full grown man he will become. I just hope it doesn't come too soon.
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A quick Update
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Posted:Apr 3, 2012 6:48 pm
Last Updated:Apr 13, 2012 2:49 am
12527 Views
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Hello World!
I don't have much time but I wanted to stop in and give a quick update for those interested. It's been a little over two weeks now I started my new job. It's good to be back at work and thus far, I'm enjoying the work. Some of it is easy while other parts are posing a challenge. I'm up for it however. I still have lots to learn so the ego is staying in check.
Since I started working, my Mr Mom duties haven't subsided any either. I think the wife got spoiled to me cooking, doing the laundry etc... So she is still on strike I think. LOL.
This past weekend, I turned 46 years old too. On Sunday no less! Yes, I'm an April Fools Baby for those who can't figure it out. I enjoy my birthday on that day but at the same time, it is also the anniversary of one of my dearest friends passing. This young lady passed away 4 years ago on April 1st at the tender age of 14. She had a rare form of cancer that only effects . When she was diagnosed, it was almost like a death sentence as there is no known cure at this time. So celebrating my birthday doesn't seem so fun when someone so dear to me feels such loss on that same day. Anyone interested, I'll be glad to give more detailed information privately. I will say this young lady left behind a legacy that will last forever but our world is missing out on one powerful woman that was to be.
Well enough for now. I apologize for not being able to keep up with my favorite bloggers and I promise I will stop in when I have more time. Until then, be blessed and stay happy!
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Great News!
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Posted:Mar 14, 2012 2:46 pm
Last Updated:Mar 22, 2012 2:58 pm
12831 Views
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Well it has been a while. Almost a month in the making going through the hiring process but an offer was officially made and accepted today! Orientation will be on Friday with training to begin on Monday! Woo Hoo!!!
Thank you for all who have been a part of this mess we have been going through. I can't thank you enough for your understanding and patience and support that has been given to me these past few months.
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To link to this blog (openwm) use [blog openwm] in your messages.
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