Row, Row, Row Your Boat...
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Posted:May 7, 2006 4:07 am
Last Updated:Jul 3, 2006 3:19 pm
13472 Views
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Yesterday saw the 12th Annual Varsity Boat Race take place between Bristol's two universities, Bristol University, and University of the West of England (UWE). The competition is a tough one, one which UWE have won for the previous three years, and Bristol Uni were desperate to clinch the title this year.
Rowing as a university sport has always been popular, with the most famous Varsity Boat Race being the annual clash between Oxford and Cambridge Universities. Rowing has reached an almost iconic status in the UK since Sir Steve Redgrave lifted his 5th Gold in Sydney in 2000. Steve Redgrave kept his oars out of the water after that, but his team mates Matthew Pinsent and James Cracknell, along with Ed Coode (who is currently doing a Post Grad course at UWE) and Steve Williams won gold again in Athens, 2004, in the Men's Coxless Four.
Being a member of a university rowing team is hard work, with students juggling a degree and hours of training, both indoors and on the water. Typically senior level crews will train twice a day six days a week, with the majority of this time spent on the water or alternatively on the indoor rower, aiming to cover about 150km a week between the two. Trying to balance a degree with all this training is difficult to say the least, so the degree often takes a back seat to rowing at senior level.
There is much kudos for a winning team that universities happily subsidise their rowing teams, paying thousands each year for crew members to participate in training camps both in the UK and abroad. UWE's teams spend a week in Spain in February each year, training specifically for the famed Head of the River Race which takes place in March. There is another training camp during the Easter break, with the final push being made for the annual Varsity Boat Race in Bristol's Floating Dock.
As a tangible yardstick to show just how fit some of the contestants in the 2006 Varsity Boat Race are, here are some of the times they take to row 2000m (the standard rowing race distance - 2k) on the indoor rower:
UWE Men's Senior Squad, Matt Bartholomew - 6 mins 05 secs
UWE Men's Alumni Squad, Peter Reed - 5 mins 57 secs *** Peter currently rows for Team GB
Bristol Men's Senior Squad, Mark Roberts - 6 mins 09 secs
Bristol Women's Senior Squad, Jess Penneycard - 7 mins 21 secs
As an aside, to be considered fit enough to row for Team GB (Great Britain) men must achieve a time of under 6:10 for a 2k, and women a time under 7:15. A six minute 2k requires a split 1:30 per 500m on average over the whole distance.
(Some of the Euro Hot Tubbers know that Helga rows on an indoor rower, and her time is 5 miles in 18 mins, or 8km in 18 mins... and she is seriously debating whether to sign up for the women's rowing team in the Autumn term.)
Weighing-in at a combined weight of 742kgs (116 stones, 12 pounds) UWE were 1kg per man heavier than Bristol, who weighed in at 734kgs (115 stones, 8 pounds). Bristol also had the heavier cox to pull down the course (55kg v 66kg).
In March the two universities achieved their highest ever result, 35 and 36, at the prestigious Head of the River Race (HORR), with less than half a second separating the two crews over the 4.25 mile Oxbridge boat race course.
It was this half second that were driving Bristol Uni to win yesterday's race. The senior men's race turned out to be a disaster, with both teams "losing" the finish line, which meant the teams had to row the race AGAIN.
That 1300m must have been the hardest race of their lives for both teams, having just given it all they had in the previous row.
I know all this, as I was there, supporting my team. Personally knowing some of those boys and girls makes all the difference, and so there I was, screaming my lungs out, urging my team to "move"... and they did, winning the race by half a length!!! And a proud University of the West of England team retain the coveted title for another year. U-W-E!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The photo is "The Slap", which is when the official challenge is made. This year the slap was delivered by Matt Bartholomew, UWE Boat Club President, and Martin Herbert from Bristol Uni's Boat Club was on the receiving end.
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For You...
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Posted:May 5, 2006 12:47 am
Last Updated:Jul 3, 2006 3:20 pm
13476 Views
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When I think of you, words like...
Loving...
Affectionate...
Sincere...
Trustworthy...
Faithful...
Honest...
come to mind. There are many more words I could use to describe you. You are like the beautiful rainbow that shines after the rain has fallen, and the sun comes peeking through.
There is only one other man that I would say the same about. And you have met him, and shaken his hand. I admire you for this.
Thank you...
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Definitions...
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Posted:May 4, 2006 12:37 pm
Last Updated:Jul 3, 2006 3:21 pm
13397 Views
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gossip n. 1.casual and idle chat. 2.a conversation involving malicious chatter or rumours about other people. 3.also called: gossipmonger. a person who habitually talks about others, esp. maliciously. 4.(intr; often followed by about) to talk casually or maliciously (about other people)
It has been said I am one of the above. To the person/persons who have voiced this opinion about me, how about having the balls to say it TO ME, TOO! If not, please keep your opinions to yourself, or back up/substantiate what you have to say with cold, hard fact/s. I am not in the habit of back-stabbing my friends, despite your best efforts to imply otherwise.
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Pencil Dick
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Posted:Apr 30, 2006 6:37 am
Last Updated:Jul 3, 2006 3:22 pm
13317 Views
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It's amazing what lengths people will go to to get a bit of action these days.
A Serbian man who was having problems keeping his pecker up during sex thought he'd found the perfect solution - a pencil shoved down his meatus (the medical term for the slit in the head of the penis).
Zeljko Tupic had to cut his sex session short when the pencil shifted and became lodged in his bladder. Ouch!
Mr Tupic didn't tell the doctors the truth about what had happened at first, but the X-ray revealed all.
Talk about putting lead in it...
Source - Scarlet Magazine Issue 19 May 06 edition
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♪♫ I Wish I Was A Punk Rocker...♪♫
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Posted:Apr 29, 2006 6:40 am
Last Updated:Jul 3, 2006 3:25 pm
13375 Views
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While my last hit prediction Crazy continues to hold the No. 1 spot on the Top 40 charts in the UK (it's been there for 4 weeks now), my ears have been tuning into another little gem which I reckon will be a HUGE hit when it gets released.
Sandi Thom's brilliant I Wish I Was A Punk Rocker is taken from her first solo album Smile... It Confuses People.
Musically, the track itself is mainly percussion, but it’s the lyrics that make this song. She has taken her inspiration from times gone by, when “not everybody drove a car, when music really mattered and when radio was king”. It’s not a time she has personally experienced (she's too young), but it's a simpler time, a time I think I’d have enjoyed too, had I been old enough. Lyrics like that, with that kind of insight must be praised.
Sandi's single has been compared to Janis Joplin’s Mercedes Benz. All sources say the album is fantastic. A toe-tapping, foot-stomping comment on times past and present, and if she's anything like KT Tunstall, then I have no doubt I shall be adding this album to my collection!
♪♫ ♪♫ ♪♫ ♪♫ ♪♫ ♪♫ ♪♫ ♪♫
Chorus
Oh I wish I was a punk rocker with flowers in my hair
In 77 and 69 revolution was in the air
I was born too late to a world that doesn't care
Oh I wish I was a punk rocker with flowers in my hair
When the head of state didn't play guitar,
Not everybody drove a car,
When music really mattered and radio was king,
When accountants didn't have control
And the media couldn't buy your soul
And computers were still scary and we didn't know everything
Chorus
When popstars still remained a myth
And ignorance could still be bliss
And when God Saved the Queen she turned a Whiter Shade of Pale
When my mom and dad were in their teens
and anarchy was still a dream
and the only way to stay in touch was a letter in the mail
Chorus
When record shops were on top
and vinyl was all that they stocked
and the super info highway was still drifting out in space
were wearing hand me downs,
and playing games meant kick arounds
and footballers still had long hair and dirt across their face
Chorus
I was born too late to a world that does't care
Oh I wish I was a punk rocker with flowers in my hair
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Intelligence vs. Dippy
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Posted:Apr 27, 2006 9:19 am
Last Updated:Jul 3, 2006 3:27 pm
13831 Views
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In my post Are politicians smart, one of my commentators, sexyblokeinlincs , seemed surprised that I read the Mensa Magazine. A magazine I get because I am a Mensa member...
It got me thinking. Why was he surprised that I read the magazine? Was he surprised I'm a Mensan? If so, is this because I'm blonde? Or that I'm a woman? Or because I'm on this site? Lol, I'm not going to beat myself up with my speculations or questions, but it did make me wonder.
Do men find intelligent women intimidating? Or do they find them attractive? Does my intelligence make me more attractive? Lol, that would presume I am attractive to begin with!
While I don't spend hours talking about quantum physics (and yes, I have read up on the subject), I must admit to being partial to an intelligent man. I don't expect every man I chat with to be a Mensa member, but a little evidence of some cranial activity is always appreciated. As someone close to me has mentioned, being in bed is not all about the sex, and it's nice to have a little decent conversation between bouts of passionate bedroom antics!
So, come on then... are you a man who likes his women suitably dippy? Or do you like a little challenge between the sheets?
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A name is a name... is a name... is a name!
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Posted:Apr 27, 2006 6:58 am
Last Updated:Apr 13, 2007 3:13 am
13465 Views
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We all have one. When we're born, we are given a name (or names) by our parents. They choose them for a variety of reasons. Some are traditional, some are names passed from generation to generation. Some simply because they appealed... (read "trendy" ). 
We like to scoff at the names celebrities give their . We've had Tiger Lily, Fifi, Apple, River... lol, that would be a whole blog in itself! But we don't know if others are scoffing at our choice of names for our . My has a combination of Scandinavian and English names, but living in the UK, he has had to live with a little bit of teasing from other who think of his name/s as "weird". 
But what about "pet" names? You know the ones. The ones our friends, family and significant others call us. Some of us don't like our given names, and we encourage diminutives, or we encourage use of a name which has no logical connection to our given names. Sometimes even our parents, having given us our chosen names, then choose to use a pet name instead. 
My first name is rather short. It had to be, as my family name is rather long, being double-barrelled. Despite this, I was constantly asked if my given name was short for other possible longer names, as my given name is a diminutive in itself.
In school, I was nick-named Peanut... a stint working at the local zoo during weekends and holiday time earned me that, especially after fracturing my wrist, when a friend started telling people I was picking peanuts from a tree when I fell out (I had fallen out of a tree, but not because I was picking peanuts!!) 
Mr Hansen calls me Honi, as those of you who know Dik Browne's cartoon Hagar The Horrible may know that Hagar had a called Honi. I always called my dad "Hagar the Horrible", which is how I ended up being called Honi by Mr Hansen. I have always called Mr Hansen Mr H, in all the years I have known him. 
Helga came later, after I had arrived in the UK. British men have untold fantasies about Swedish women, and when you mention you're Scandinavian, they automatically label you Swedish! I can't even remember how/who gave me this nick-name, simply to say it has stuck, and I actually enjoy using it. 
My lover calls me Petal and I always smile when he calls me that. I have asked him why, and all he tells me is "because it fits". In return, I call him J Bear, as his name begins with a J, and he has a beard which I love stroking, as it reminds me of a teddy bear's fur. Silly, I know, but what the hell! 
So... do you have pet names that you call someone? Have you been given a pet name by someone? Or are you above all that, and just prefer your own, given name? 
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Are politicians smart?
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Posted:Apr 26, 2006 3:12 pm
Last Updated:Apr 13, 2007 3:14 am
13159 Views
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During a visit to an asylum, a visiting politician asked the asylum director what the criteria were which defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalised.
"Well," said the director, "we fill up a bath and then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bath."
"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal, rational person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."
"Not quite," replied the director. "A normal, rational person would just pull the plug... now, do you want a bed near the window?"
Source - May 2006 edition of the UK MENSA magazine, from the Round the Regions section.
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Knowledge is Power...
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Posted:Apr 25, 2006 11:12 am
Last Updated:Apr 13, 2007 3:18 am
13137 Views
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A couple of weeks ago, I was having a little temper tantrum (reading Helga will refresh your memory), and I am pleased to say that I finally have some answers!!
After speaking with the consultant's very friendly (and understanding) secretary, I was promised that she would send a copy of the report from the MRI findings to my GP. A little more waiting involved, but at least there was a glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel!
As the Easter weekend was approaching, I decided there was no point in phoning the GP's office until the following week. Which I did, and was told that one of the partners would call me back during the week, using one of the telephone consultation slots.
That call finally materialised on Friday afternoon, and patient Helga now knows what is wrong with her!!
The results of the MRI scan show that I have a prolapsed disc (herniated disc), between my L4/L5 vertebrae, which is apparently where most prolapsed discs occur (in the lumbar part of the spine). According to statistics, the commonest age to develop a prolapsed disc is between 30 and 50 years, and twice as many men as women are affected.
A prolapsed disc occurs when part of the nucleus pulposus bulges/herniates through a weakness in the outer part of the disc, and the bulging disc may press on nearby structures such as the sciatic nerve (which is happening in my case).
At the moment I continue to wait for my appointment in October with the consultant, but my GP has stressed that I must contact them should my situation become unbearable, as there is a danger that Cauda equina syndrome could occur. This is when the nerves at the bottom of the spine are pressed on, causing low back pain plus problems with the bowel and bladder function, numbness in the saddle area and weakness in one/both legs. Should this occur treatment would be urgent, to preserve the nerves to the bladder and bowel and prevent them from becoming permanently damaged.
In the meantime I am to just continue taking my medication, and having some "gentle" exercise... lol... wonder what my GP would make of my definition of "gentle sexercise"?? *WEG*
So, TemptationIsle... can I call you the next time I have to make a visit to my A&E department? Then again, maybe not. I don't want to be accused of wasting precious NHS resources!!
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Helga goes... In Deep!
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Posted:Apr 23, 2006 12:51 pm
Last Updated:Apr 13, 2007 3:20 am
13644 Views
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Just before the Easter weekend, the postman delivered the first of my expected packages. Yes! My much-talked about B-Doyng was finally in my grubby mitts!
With trepidation, I slowly opened the package, not entirely sure what to expect. To my surprise, a vibrator didn't fall out, in all its glory. Instead, it was a smart cover with the wording B-Doyng! Made by hand specially and exclusively for Helga. So no embarrassment there!
Sliding the vibrator out of the cover, I discovered it was wrapped in clingfilm. I unwrapped the clingfilm and was delighted to read the following on the B-Doyng... Horny Helga's Helper!. I couldn't help but smile as I read the winning caption by TheQuietGuy2005 (see Slogan Competition for all the other suggestions which were received). The lettering was even in my favourite shade of lilac!!!
The B-Doyng is a vibrator that you can't help wanting to handle. The silicone from which it is made has given it a very "fleshy" feeling, and its smooth texture feels just like an erect penis, all soft and hard at the same time. From end to end the B-Doyng measures over 10½ inches, and the girth is enjoyable at over 1½ inches in diameter. One of the interesting things about this vibrator is its ability to almost bend over backwards. Most, if not all, vibrators are rigid, and straight, not really representing men's equipment (yes, guys, I've seen and experienced enough equipment to know the difference between erect and rigid!!) and this flexibility was certainly going to prove to be an interesting feature of my new toy.
The B-Doyng comes with its own charger (no more hunting about for batteries at crucial moments of play), and thanks to its unseamed silicone cover, the B-Doyng can be enjoyed while in the bath or shower. Please make sure you're standing on a non-slip surface while you play in the bathroom... I would hate to hear that you'd fallen over and bashed your head while enjoying the vibrator! The on/off switches are situated in the end of the B-Doyng, and my only two complaints about the vibrator are that it is very easy to bump the "off" switch on the vibrator while you're playing with it, and that there is only one setting for the vibrations... it's either on, or off, and when on, the vibrations are rather strong (and it would seem, rather loud).
Over the next few days I had a chance to have a thorough little play with my new "helper", and I was soon getting to grips with my new toy *WEG* It kept me busy on my mornings off, and I discovered some interesting new ways of pleasuring oneself with a very flexible vibrator! (A note to those wondering whether to have a clit piercing... let a vibrator rest on your jewellery, and the pleasure you'll experience is unbelievable!!!)
The climax (lol, such a naughty pun  ) of my play was this weekend, when I introduced my Bit On The Side to the delights of the B-Doyng, with Mr Hansen having given it a once over during the week. My BOTS was extremely taken by my new helper, and together, we discovered some rather new and interesting ways of getting the most out of my very flexible vibrator. My preconceived notions that vibrators were toys that women played with, when they were alone, went totally out of the window, and it was a delight to watch my BOTS get enjoyment out of my "horny helper".
My rating of the B-Doyng overall? A very enjoyable and welcome addition to my toy collection!! I wouldn't hesitate in recommending this vibrator to my friends, and if you're a man, looking for a naughty, and personalised gift for the woman in your life, I can thoroughly recommend the B-Doyng... just make sure she shares it with you!!
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Time for a change?
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Posted:Apr 18, 2006 3:58 am
Last Updated:Apr 13, 2007 3:14 am
13512 Views
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Spring is in the air, blossoms decorate the garden, and even I've hauled out my duster "gasp, is she ill?" I hear you mutter.
I've been looking at my profile pics, and wondering whether it isn't time for a change. New pics for a new Helga, so to speak. While I've had plenty of nice compliments on my lingerie pics, lol, I think you'd be shocked if you knew they were taking when I was impersonating a beached whale! Good ol' Photo Shop, eh?
Don't get too excited though... I'm not planning to "bare all" *shudder*, as I do think it's nice to keep some things to the imagination!
PS. After chatting with a friend, I realised that some of you would think I might have "enhanced" my photos... lol, the only feature on Photo Shop I know how to use properly is the "crop" feature! I wouldn't know the first thing about airbrushing, etc. I'll leave that to the professionals! Hhhhmmmm... wonder how much a set of pics taken by professionals would cost...
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Easter Greetings...
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Posted:Apr 16, 2006 8:22 am
Last Updated:Apr 13, 2007 3:16 am
13815 Views
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♥♥ Glade Påske ønsker for alle min venner!!!!♥♥
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Dancing on the Ceiling...
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Posted:Apr 11, 2006 12:17 pm
Last Updated:Apr 13, 2007 3:17 am
14220 Views
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Well, it's been just over two weeks since I took the plunge, and slid further down the moral decline. I've had a few people asking me if I'm enjoying my new piercing, so I thought I'd give you all a little progress report!
The nice man at the tattoo parlour had told me that a clitoral hood piercing took an average of between 2 and 6 weeks to heal, and I can report that I'm all healed already!
I'd be lying if I said I have not had a little play with my new accessory... lol, within hours I was having a tentative feel, getting used to the new obstacle my fingers were now encountering. It was tender going, and I soon felt if I was being just a little too rough! As the days passed, I was able to be a little more firm in my ministrations, and even Mr Hansen had a little poke with his tongue...mmmmm!!
It all got a little interesting, though, when my new bit of steel came into contact with my BGG... my pet name for my vibrator. It is thus named because it is big, it's green and it's HUGE! Thankfully Mr Hansen doesn't have issues with a giant dildo competing with his manhood, and we quite often have a little play together.
This time, however, I was alone...
I lay back on the bed, freshly showered, and feeling just a little horny. My fingers found what they were looking for, and it wasn't long before I was feeling that warm glow one gets when enjoying an orgasm. However, I was still hungry, so decided it was time to haul BGG out of the bedside drawer. The sound of buzzing filled the air, and I held the vibrator in my hand, slowly lowering it down onto my clit. And that's when I nearly went through the roof!!!!!
Oh the pleasure!! Usually it takes a minute or two for me to feel the pleasurable effects of the vibrations, but this time... it took only SECONDS! The ring piercing my clitoral hood was acting like a conducter, and the vibrations from the vibrator were being transmitted directly onto my clit, thanks to the little ball on the ring, which I like to tuck up under the hood. Oh, my sweet heaven!!! Of course, being the greedy girl that I am, I didn't stop at just once, but sent myself into orbit about 5 times before my body just couldn't cope with the pleasure any longer!!
It was also time to get dressed and off to work... arriving with a HUGE smile on my face!
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To link to this blog (helga_hansen) use [blog helga_hansen] in your messages.
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