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Posted:Jul 16, 2015 6:19 pm
Last Updated:May 28, 2024 2:10 am
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Do you know how much it takes to get ready for sex, at least for me it seems like I put a lot of time and energy into 'getting ready'... lets start with the primping... the picking out the outfit... this takes into many things itself. is it easy to take off, does it look ok if gets wrinkled , panties, bra or no bra... lingerie under neath for a fun surprise or just another 'fucking' layer to get through.... thigh high , this is also determined if legs have been shave recently... which leads into getting ones body ready for sex, clean ...trimmed, shaved, plucked, waxed what ever your choice, but if done to far in advance, not even worth it...
Make -up, i am a believer that make up is for night time, i do not wear it to work or during the week days very much, one because i just don't have time and second i don't think i look very natural in it . It looks like i am 'trying' to wear makeup.
so then we move onto the planning of sex, this is huge with me, once i know that sex is THE PLAN,my girly brain goes into overdrive, its pretty much all I can think about... where, when, how long, will I orgasm, will he cum, will it be soft and gentle, will it be hard core, will it be 15 minutes, will it last an hour.... Now on weekdays when I am at work and I know I will be having sex later that day, this is amazing... think of it like 8 hours of four play.... sometimes I am sitting at my desk wet for half the day , thinking of everything and anything that could happen.
Can you imagine being on such a 'HIGH' all day long.... well when you only get to see your boyfriend every other day and sometime a little longer...know that the next time I get to see him these thoughts and feeling go through my head for as long as the time is in between.
Now lets just throw some whip cream and cherry on top of this whole thing... the whip cream is that I am no longer on a 3 week calendar... I was so excited to go on the pill so it would no longer be me that was the issue of when we could or could not have sex. yes i know there is still going to be a time [ a week] where i will have to say no but there are now 11 weeks were I can say YES.....
and the cherry is that I am sooooooo IN LOVE WITH HIM. I WANT to have sex with this man every day, I Want to touch him, kiss him, I Want him to touch me...I just plain want to me in naked embarrasses with him every chance I get.
So think for a minute if one is on this HIGH for days at a time, cant think straight, cant talk straight, constantly thinking of the 'the next time' and the last few times have all CRASHED/ not worked out for one reason or another
What a crazy emotional, hormone roller coaster. Last night I cried myself to sleep because I Have been on this HIGH since JULY 2.....and literately my mind and body could not take it anymore. The crash from coming down hurts so much.
I know that he will eventually read this and i am NOT MAD or ANGRY. I understand exactly why everything happened the way it did and its no ones fault, its just life and how it works sometimes...
just writing down my feeling and how i work....take me or not...
thank god i have a few things to keep my mind busy this weekend... first Friday is a big day at work 'workcation and bonus day' then Friday night its paint shopping because i am going to paint my sons room. i have never painting anything other than a paint by number in my life , i am truly excited and nervous at the same time, i feel like a real homeowner as well as one of those do it all moms i see on pintrest. Saturday is painting day, sat afternoon is bosses/ graduation party, Saturday night is my 1 of 2 times a year i force my husband to go out in public with me, and Sunday if i need more painting time and or movie with the .
I need to keep my mind off sex until at least Monday , when I hope is the next time i get to see my stud muffin. Who truly has not one once of a clue how much I am in love with him and will do anything to make him happy, lol, but running out of ideas....lol lol lol
xoxoxox
molly
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Still Lost and Horny
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Posted:Jul 14, 2015 5:15 pm
Last Updated:Jul 15, 2015 4:08 am
5391 Views
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a couple of post ago i wrote about how i feel lost, still kinda in that funk....
I am living my life now for Monday and Wednesday...These are the days i truly feel happy from when I wake up until I go to bed. It is usually the days I get to see my boyfriend. But I must admit I am starting to get very jealous.
Anyone who knows me in real life i am a fun person, i am happiest in a crowd of people, love to people watch anywhere...And I have always been that way. I love being out in public with my man. He is so much fun to hang out with, but my time with him is so limited, I want more alone time with him.
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2 blogs in one
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Posted:Jul 12, 2015 5:31 am
Last Updated:Jul 12, 2015 9:30 am
5161 Views
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i actually wanted to type yesterday but just didn't have the time....
first blog ; being a girl
as a little girl growing up i was treated like a boy being the only girl with 12 boy cousins and a brother, i pretty much had no choice but to play with them, so as time went on and during my school years i had no problem talking to boys or hanging around them it was natural to me. i really don't ever think i went through that stage that most girls do when they are shy or scared to talk to a boy. but that bad part of this is a really never went through the whole 'being a girl' thing... thank good for my aunt sandy who was a beautician other wise my hair would have been in a forever pony tail. And it wasn't until my wedding that i actually wore make up other than on Halloween. and this was never an issue in my life. my husband knows me only has that tom boy type, when i would try to dress up and get 'pretty' it was more of a joke and never got the out come i was expecting.
Dating other men later in life- didn't really change much either , i usually met them after work in nice clothes but nothing over done and diffidently not sexy.
But I would have to say my brain is doing a 360 now, I actually catch myself more worried about what i am wearing now, i have bought more 'girly' clothes in the past 8 months than I have in years. Now i don't know if this is good or bad...When i feel pretty on the out side, it sure make me feel better on the inside. And my current boyfriend has given me soooo many complements on how pretty I look, it makes me want to dress up more and more.
who am i dress for me or him.... guys really dont care do they .... again growing up with all the boys my head is telling me show up in a t-shirt, but my newly formed girl brain is saying be a girl.....men like girls... lol
yes this was an actual thought running through my head most of yesterday...lol
blog 2; Breakfast Interrogation
Friday night went out with Chris and his friend , in the end had a great time. [this subject also has another blog coming but not ready to write it yet] so had a great time, had some to drink ok had a lot to drink, Had a quickly and was home around 1 am. threw up around 1;30 and slept great the rest of the night, woke up to a headache and a text to go out for breakfast [old chris] so as every good hangover needs is food, i got up and went for breakfast.
ok a little back story, i did facebook parts of Friday evening and 'all the fun I was having'
So I get to breakfast at a local diner and the questions could not have come faster.... At first I couldn't tell if he was being a friend or a foe... he would laugh and chuckle as I would answer all his question, but the look on his face was more pissed off. i was just about to 'remind' him of what he has said last August and most recently as of March- that he basically could care less what I do... when he said it for me.....SO WHAT THE FUCK. I really don't know what to think, he doesn't want me anymore, he wants to be friends, but says he wants me to be happy, but doesn't want me to be happy. He is still really depressed and so emotional about his and his retirement....thank god i changed the subject to him as my head could not take it.
With each passing minute I am more and more happy of the choice I made and the place I am in now....
 
xoxox
Molly
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In Love
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Posted:Jul 9, 2015 8:11 pm
Last Updated:Jul 10, 2015 4:11 am
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Oh yeah, this is happening....My girl brain is working overtime.
With this much love this fast, i am dealing with the ups and downs. But so far the ups have out weighed the downs.
I highly suggest this felling, if you find it.
#Happiestihavebeen
Xoxo
Molly
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Feeling Lost
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Posted:Jul 7, 2015 11:49 am
Last Updated:Jul 7, 2015 2:24 pm
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Maybe not the bestst title, but its what i am sticking with for now.
The feeling like you dont know which way to go, you dont know where to go.
I know exactly why i feel like this. This feeling is exactly the way my mom made me feel when i was a little girl, when she would yell and scream at me for something i did wrong in her eyes....it is no secret that my mom and do not have a very good relationship. There is no love there at all on either end.
Anyway when i would get yelled at, I always spent the next few days or even weeks feeling lost, not belonging, not loved. Ok, yeah i get it as a getting yelled at isnt suppose to make you happy, but it was the words and tone and threats that were made. There was no learning from the mistakes back in the day or no how could we make better choices...
It was always, being called names and being told how maybe i would be better off living with another family (like what i did was soooo wrong, it could not be fixed).....Anyway....
Last night there was a heated discussion at my home. And it made me feel lost jyst like when i was a . And just like when i was younger, it was not the end of the world. It really didnt need to be like that.
So maybe I just rub people the wrong way....Maybe I am uncontrolable.
I always thought the saying goes "a girl will marry a man like her Dad"
Last night i felt like i was marryed to my mother.
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A second time for everything
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Posted:Jun 28, 2015 6:22 am
Last Updated:Jun 28, 2015 3:19 pm
4467 Views
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i know i know... i said i was going to blog but something happened and i need to write about it so when i am 90 and living in the home i can look back on this and remember it. .
The first time I had Anal sex, it was not by choice nor did it feel good at all. I really was not expecting it nor was I ready for it , mentally or physically. Since that time, i was pretty much a no go when it came to that type of sex and as time went on I Made it known it was not my cup of tea........UNTIL......
A week or so ago ... having some fun with my boyfriend and he played around that area with his fingers. It was gentle and added a little fun feeling during sex. I enjoyed it. We talked about it after words. I wanted to give it another try, someday....I trust him so much with my body, he knows exactly what he is doing when it comes to making me feel amazing.
Soooo... Saturday we had plans to meet up and spend some time together, he had worked all day, so honestly in my head I didn't expect anything to happen, except for some quality time. But after a while things lead in that direction so I was pleasantly surprised. While he was making me feel soooo relaxed in his amazing way, he once again started to play around in both areas. His fingers felt great, just the right amount of pressure and his movements were slow and gentle, it did not feel like he was trying to rip me apart.
He had me working our toy , while he concentrated on the back door. Which was brilliant, as I have learned I am not a very good multi tasker when I am getting off, my girly brain can barely keep one thought going in my head.
Now if that was all that happened I would have been a very happy girl.... baby steps working up to the 'big times', but like I said I Trust him and he asked me if I wanted the tip of his cock to go in, YES OMG YES....
The pressure was different than his finger... I did not feel as if I was in pain at all, but it was such a different feeling. It felt the best when he was all in, filling the space, as the movement of thrusting in and out was happening in the beginning , each thrust felt like he was going in for the first time. i mean i love the first thrust of regular sex, it is amazing, that first push to get into my pussy always sends a chill up my nervous chill up my spine.... well with this entrance the chill happened for a while.
During regular sex , i know that when i really get going i feel like i 'clamp' around a cock and either hold onto it or push it out,, its just the muscle 'down there. i had non of those feeling thru the back door.
Chris was VERY concerned about me, which just makes me love him even more, I swear he asked me 10 times if it hurt, at one point he was insisting I was not enjoying it, when in fact I was enjoying every new feeling i was having at the time. He truly took his time and that made a wonderful experience for me. what made me EXTREMELY happy was that he got off and came inside....NOW that was the BOMB
I have NEVER had a guy cum in my ass before, I am a HUGE fan of cream pies, so to have him be my first for this was a really big deal to me. I mean a HUGE deal. I have to say I was in heaven.
I left his place and stopped to pick up some food for my , and as I am sitting waiting for the food, I can feel the sperm leaking out and if anyone was looking at my face at that very moment, I can only imagine what they would say. i literally started shaking with joy.
What an amazing man I have found.... really he is way to good to me and I can not wait to spend the up coming weekend with him, I truly believe it is going to be the best time of my entire life.
xoxox
MOLLY
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A Break from Blogging
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Posted:Jun 15, 2015 1:03 pm
Last Updated:Jun 18, 2015 6:28 pm
4514 Views
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Yeap, I am going to take some time away from blogging for a while. I truly am in a relationship that is 1000% times different than any other relationship I have had from this site or any other.
So sure i am a women and could change my mind at anytime, but for now, I am going to date him "off-line" to get the real full effect of learning about someone form good old fashion talking, listening and watching.
So this week we have 2 big dates planned and I cant wait. and in a few weeks we are going away on a little mini vacation.
Have a great Summer all and maybe I will write again, but for now...I think this is what I need to do.
XOXOXO
Molly
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OMG!!! Laughing on the inside
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Posted:Jun 8, 2015 12:54 pm
Last Updated:Jun 22, 2015 4:44 am
4794 Views
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Ok....so last week, i started taking Birth Control called Amethia....I am sitting at my desk reading this information sheet they gave me...and laughing....
First lets go over some if the side effects....Acne...ok who doesnt get a zit now and then, i can live with that..next up is LESS SEXUAL DESIRE....Wait right there....I think that should be first on the list, dont you???? I mean my reason for taking this pill is different than actually using it as birth control....BUT isnt the ENTIRE reason to have as much sex as possible?? Or is that just me???....lets cum back to that in a little while.
Next on the list is bloating or fluid retention...so let me get this straight, i wont have a period for 3 months but i still can enjoy the feeling fat and bloated....oh joy!!!!
Depression.....are you kidding me...well if i dont feel ugly enough with the Acne abd the water gain....now i am going to be sad on top of this....well of course i will feel sad, who is going to want to have sex with an ugly girl....*note it also says to call your healthcare provider if you have thought of harming yourself...REALLY....REALLY....I am a redhead i could go off at anytime, this little pill wont cant control that....lol....I am so kidding, playing with the temper of redheads, which i do NOT have...but i will take your soul...lol...
Now i know why i Never went on the pill when i was younger....but going on at my age, is a trip... I just hope it works out as I planned it would...
And maybe the "less sexual desire" is based on a normal sex drive of a 30 year old and not mine, whuch is pretty much 24/7.....lol
Xoxo
Molly
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What was I thinking
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Posted:Jun 7, 2015 6:16 am
Last Updated:Jun 8, 2015 10:46 am
4656 Views
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I have broken about 3 or so rules I set for myself this week. I should NEVER make decisions during certain times of the month. I mean, I feel like the HULK, when I look back and see the mess I have made.
I am so embarrassed of how I act when my emotions play a part and how I treat people.
I had a little heart break yesterday, them I ditched a good friend, then to top it off I was shot down trying to make someone happy... I really felt like a heel.
And I am not sure today will be any better. But I will try and fix the wrongs into rights...
I am ONLY human after all. I think I have read it somewhere that love makes you do stupid things, well lets hope I have filled my quota for a while....
Ready to start a NEW week
XOXOX
Molly
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All my Fantasys have been filled
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Posted:May 26, 2015 1:30 pm
Last Updated:May 26, 2015 4:26 pm
5039 Views
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What is a girl to do???? Over the past 10 years I have done everything I have wanted to do or try or have done to me.....well done. I saved the one I was most scared of for the end....And now I am not sure what to do???
Because I am with a new boyfriend do I start over with my list???? Dont get me wrong, there are a million things I have not done, but I also have no desire to do them either. And dreams are different from Fantasy....I my mind a fantasy is something i could control, i needed to put myself im a position, where it could ir can happen. A dream is uncontrolable.....if it is meant to happen others will make it happen. For example...i always dreamed of having a surprise party, when I turned 30 my friends threw me one....
So I still have a lit of dreams...
But I am so lucky right now to be with a man right now, who spoils me with sex and always puts my wants and desires first and treats me with respect....A girl like me could really get use to this and fast....
💝💝💝💝
Xoxo
Molly
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Unofficial Summer
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Posted:May 25, 2015 6:21 pm
Last Updated:May 28, 2024 2:10 am
5289 Views
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Is starting out to be great!!!! if the rest of me summer is like this weekend I will be one very happy girl....
lets start with Friday night I used my new " house key" for good and not evil... I left some food for the boyfriend to eat when he got home from working very late. I think he was pleasantly surprised at the gesture. That made me happy!!!!
Saturday I was women hear me roar, I was up early, went grocery shopping, took both cars to get filled up with gas, drove 10, 10 year old to a local water park for my birthday, had the Best Birthday party ever, it was the funnest and easiest party I had ever done. drove everyone back home afterwards and made it to the next birthday party for a friend of mine who turned 50 years old, had a wonderful time catching up with tons of old friends from the past 18 years.
Sunday Fun day, did some shopping and took the to Six Flags for the opening of Hurricane Harbor. Had the place to our selves almost, but weren't feeling good so cut the day short, got home and and hubby both fell asleep and took a nap , So I went out for drinks with Chris and had a great time, our talks are always amazing... and he is such gentleman, I really do not see him ever treating me like any other sex partner I have ever had. I always understood the "rules" of hooking up for sex on here... Pretty much Wham Bamm thank you Mamm.. ( except for a very small handful). So since I have had most of my experience with with men who get what they want, this is newer territory for me. I gave him the green light to be a little rougher, this is just not his style... I mean I get it and my no means am I complaining, I am getting very spoiled with this "its all about me" attention. But I still feel like I am lacking here....
Its hard to explain, when your own husband rejects you sexually, you really think maybe you have nothing to offer, then I find this site where I hook up with men over the years who give me what I think I want, but in the end it was about them. I really am working on enjoying this relationship, that still seems to good to be true. Sunday Night was THE BEST orgasm I have ever had in my entire life. And Chris did it all with just a toy. I mean it was amazing... I came and squirted soooo much and it was one right after another... he didn't stop ( I asked him not too).
I always found it funny that when having sex and I start to have an Orgasm the "guy" will stop moving and order pull out right as I start to have one or during one... they don't just keep going. I guess they don't know that if they would just keep going so would I... Well Chris did that exactly that. He kept using the toy on me and he said I squirted so much it went on his shoulders. I do feel bad about making a mess, but he has said its ok, he loves it.
He also said that he was so excited to see me so excited he almost came, but didn't. I wanted to finish him as I always want to make him feel as good as I do... but it was not in the cards. I told him not to masturbate the next morning, I wanted to stop by Monday late afternoon for a session with him and I really wanted him to cum inside of me...I want it really bad....
But I thought about it overnight, that was not fair of me to tell him not to do what is natural for him just to please me... so I went over there early in the morning to do something I have never done before... I was hoping to give him head and swallow him.....I have given head before but always finished with a hand job. I have had sum on my face even in my hair , on my tits... everywhere but never in my mouth and swallowed it... I hopped that this would make him happy as well as show how much I am into him. Also I figured it was about time...
It went great, it happened pretty quick, and it was not bad at all, I was told that swallowing sperm would be sour or kinda like black licorice. it didn't it was not sweet but more like non flavored jello that has not set up... it was warm and I didn't gag, which was assume, that would not have been cool on my part.
Had plans to go to the Brewer game with "old Chris" and his 2 sons and about 100 or so of other military men and women and their family's for USO Memorial Day. I had a nice time, but I have to say it really clicked. How would I feel if current Chris hung around with his old girlfriend?? Even though old Chris and I are just friends and run in the same circle, What do I do... As I already have plans to help with Joe's Graduation party in June... I really need to cut down the time I hang out with old Chris.... Its not fair to Current Chris.
So AS soon as I got back into town, I went over to see Chris, I wanted to show that he is the one I want to be with.... I cant wait to see him again on Wednesday. This Unofficial start to the summer is great and I think the rest is only going to get better....
XOXOX
Molly
I am in LOVE!!!!!!{=}
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Downs and Ups
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Posted:May 22, 2015 4:28 pm
Last Updated:May 23, 2015 3:55 am
5283 Views
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I know I know, people usually say Ups and downs... but this week my downs came first and the ups came later....
Early in the week at work there was issue with one of my customers... it was a Major issue that at first glance appeared to me my fault. Now I am the first person to admit I was wrong, and try to make it right. This issue looked like it was going to cost the company a lot of money, An entire truck load of product was shipped to a customer of stuff they said they canceled. So As I tried to work on this issue I was already pretty upset at myself. Then comes along my boss... to recap I have 2 bosses, 1 female boss who is a crazy bi polar bitch but I can handle her and she is on vacation this entire week and then there is my male boss. He is a grade A Asshole,..... yes yes this is the same boss that I hooked up with last October on a business trip.
Anyway so as I am trying to fix this issue and make it right for everyone involved, he is yelling at me, making me feeling even worse than I already did, I almost started to cry ( I didn't) He was very unprofessional about it all. Even a co-worker told him to back off "and let her do her job". I was scared at one point I was probably going to be written up.
So the next day as I am still working on the issue, I get an email from the customer letting me know that it was "their" mistake. They NEVER did cancel the order in question... they did cancel another order of which I also canceled on my end. SO there was no return and customer kept everything. So all worked out as it should have...
I am still feeling sick about the way I was treated by my boss. Not the fact that he yelled at me, but the fact that he did it in front of other co-workers to make himself look "big"... I also don't like it for the fact of ...." come on man we have seen each other naked for god sake, give me a little slack, I mean I hate him with every fiber of being... and I am not asking to be the teachers pet or anything... but have a little class ( which I now know he has none).
Even after the fact of it being known it was NOT my fault, nor did I have anything to do with the issue, there was no apologies. Then again if I don't have to see him at all I guess that is just as good.
On Tuesday my baby girl turned 10 years old, I love her so much I would do anything for her. I so hope that I can have a wonderful relationship with her. I hope that I am doing things for her so that when she is older she will want to be with me and talk to me. The relationship ( or lack there off) I have with my mother is so far from what I want with my . I call my mom "the Carrie Mom" amp;
Wednesday I got to see and spend time with the other love of my life, Chris, my boyfriend. I am sooo happy that he is in my life at this time... he is so amazing, sexy, smart, funny and the BEST boyfriend that any girl could ask for. We have a connection that is so different from others I have had... I actually get butterflies every time I even think I will get to talk to him on the phone. We made some plans for later in the summer and I am so excited I am like a at Christmas.. counting down the days.
He also gave me a key to his house as well as a drawer in his bedroom to keep a few things ... OMG I feel like I just got his class ring... He probably has no clue what a big deal it is for me... It shows that he trust me as well as wants me around. I love him so much and I know he loves me as well.
I want to spend as much time with him in and out of the bedroom as possible, but it seems like Mother nature is really controlling my sex life with him, so I have made an appt with my doctor to see if I can go on the pill that cuts mother nature down to 4 times a year... I really don't want to screw up our plans for September or any other time that we have a chance to be together. 
So this weekend I hope all goes well, having my birthday party on Saturday at a local water park and a friend of mine also turns 50 so there is a party at night as well, Sunday I hope to be able to see Chris. And Sunday is a Brewers tailgate and game.....
Happy Memorial day weekend,
Thank you to all those men and women who gave their lives
so we could live in this great country of ours. Have the freedoms that we have
because they fought for them.
Thank you!!!!
xoxox
Molly
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