Trick or Treating...I gotta...cock?
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Posted:Oct 31, 2008 9:57 pm
Last Updated:Nov 2, 2008 10:20 am
9907 Views
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After all that yesterday with trying to choose a costume,
I ended up not dressing up at all.
I've been battling a cold for the last week, which seemed to hit rock bottom late last night complete with fever. I've been whining all day, wanting the #1BF to take care of me, being as that i'm at home, i'm thinking the older spouse will never go for that.
My plan was to tell spouse the #1BF is gay and works with me and will be spending the night. Needless to say, #1BF wouldn't go for it either. I just said it was A plan, I didn't say it was a good plan.
Anyway, back to the "why no costume" thing
The older spouse decided he was going to his club for drinks so he didn't have to contend with all the .
I decided that I would leave all visible lights off and lay in my bed of self pity. This seemed like the obvious choice for a girl home alone with a 99.9 fever, right? Oh No...No no no...
#1BF says "Halloween can't just be canceled because you're sick."
I said "the hell it can't, I don't even have any "
So I get settled into my nice warm bed with my little dog, sit there for about ten minutes before I realize he was right,dammit!,the little expect certain things from me and I can't let them down.
Instead of my spectacular Mermaid costume, I threw on a pair of yoga pants and a henley T, which I didn't notice until around 9 had been unbuttoned too far, it was snug fitting and I wasn't wearing a bra. Great! Now the newer neighbor ladies are calling me the whorey looking younger wife to their husbands. Oh well.
I'm pretty sure I was successful in infecting every in my neighborhood with my mystery illness.
I didn't get to be a super cool Mermaid.
BF refused to come to my door holding a bowl in front of him that he'd cut a hole in the bottom of and stuck his cock in.
I can't believe I didn't have sex on Halloween!!!
I can't even remember the last Halloween I didn't get laid.
This Halloween was a complete bust for me.
I try my very best to find a positive in every negative situation that comes my way. On Saturday, I think i'll have costume day,i'll just change every couple of hours, it'll be fun, like a fashion show just for me, ok it's nothing like a fashion show, but I think it'll still be fun.
The sexier costumes tend to put me in a dirty girl mood, and you never know what could happen with that.......
Cross your fingers that it's something dirty enough to blog about,unless you want the details of my torrid affair with my........SEX TOYS,Oh and by the way, it's gotten so bad that I actually caught myself flirting with my vibrator the other day.
That's right no real cock for me tomorrow either.
You all really feel sorry for me right?
**The pic on the left is the Tampon Toupee I was telling you about. Cool huh? You know you like it, just admit it!
Just tell me something good and juicy to make me feel better...
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My Costume Crisis, ok maybe not a crisis........
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Posted:Oct 30, 2008 8:04 am
Last Updated:Mar 4, 2012 12:50 pm
9858 Views
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As predicted, I'll be held captive this Halloween night.
I've already had to miss a party last Saturday with the #1BF, which really pissed me off and i'll be missing my favorite party of the year this weekend.
So i'll be stuck at home with the older spouse handing out candy while he bitches and moans about the running through his lawn.
I've decided to make the most of it, dress up and have some fun.
I don't normally make my costume choices based on the possibility of seeing me and this late in the game i'll have to wear something I already have.
I certainly can't greet the trick or treaters at the door wearing the school girl, french maid, or nurse (I like to call myself "The Head Nurse")costumes that I used to wear for the older spouse on naughty role play night.
I've narrowed it down to five choices, please help me decide which one will be the least offensive in the opinion of my very conservative, mini van driving, soccer mom neighbors....
This would be a whole lot easier if I could just put the pictures of them on here.
Ok, back to the costume choices:
1.Bunny Rabbit:
Fits like the one piece bustier Playboy Bunny outfit but it's white and furry.
2.I Dream of Jeannie
Self explanatory
3.Mermaid
I made this one, it's fabulous, the tail is sequined. The only problem with this one is the bustier top which pushes my boobs up nearly to my chin.
4.Judy Jetson
I made this one also.It's pink and silver and skin tight.
The top is cut just below my bra, the bottom is a micro mini skirt. I wear it with silver stiletto heeled stripper boots.
5.Alice in Wonderland
Blue dress, very short, the top is snug and pushes up the cleavage. I wear white thigh high stckings that have a matching blue bow on the top of each one, red heels.
I suppose if none of these will do, I could always recycle the bumble bee(see pic on the left). Yes, I know the tiara has nothing to do with being a bumble bee, I did call myself the queen bee though, and besides I like to wear a tiara whenever possible.
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Halloween Sex Positions & A Tampon Ghost
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Posted:Oct 29, 2008 9:16 am
Last Updated:Oct 31, 2008 4:14 pm
9671 Views
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Do you think you'll try any of these this Halloween?
Number 10
Ghost Rider
The way it works is that when the female is riding the male, the man puts a white sheet over her head -- all while resisting the overwhelming urge to cue up the Ghostbusters theme on his stereo.
Number 9
Grave Robber
The key to this Halloween sex position is finding a successful mix between the sexual thrill of robbery and the somewhat unappealing odor of putrid human innards. The way it works is that you wait for your girlfriend to fall asleep, then you ransack your laundry hamper and surround her with dirty, dank clothes to mimic the atmosphere of a grave. Once you’ve buried your corpse, er… partner, you give her the unexpected thrill of luring her back into consciousness with oral sex.
Number 8
Tail in the Crypt
In this Halloween sex position, you and your partner make your way under your bed (the “crypt” and engage in anal sex (the “tail” -- we leave it up to you (the “crypt keeper” to decided whether or not you’d like to annoyingly stimulate your partner with scratches to her back.
Number 7
The Scarecrow
A little bondage never (seriously) hurt anyone, and this Halloween sex position is no different. One partner is strapped to a cross-brace and must act as if they have no skeletal system. The other partner gets to enjoy the benefits of having someone strapped to a cross-brace in front of them. That involves groping, teasing, prodding, and just about anything else you want, just as soon as you get those cumbersome overalls unhooked. Best of all, when you are done, there’s all that straw to help clean up.
Number 6
Bobbing for Boobies
Fill up a bathtub with two or more breasts, stick your hands behind your back, and bob your head in until you catch yourself an endorphin rush.
Number 5
Sleepy Bat
In this Halloween sex position, your partner will require a stable pull-up bar or shower pole with which to hang upside down. Once she is comfortably locked in, position your mouths at each others' genitals and engage in 69-ing until the sunlight comes up or the blood rushing to her head causes your partner to pass out.
Number 4
Night of the Fucking Dead
In this ingenious brain-dead Halloween sex position, partners start off in a standard missionary position, but once the male has comfortably entered the female, that’s when things really get dumb, er… fun. Specifically, neither partner is allowed to use their arms or legs to support themselves during intercourse, leaving both sex-starved individuals to be grunting, struggling and shaking in order to get off.
Number 3
Monster Mash
The premise is simple but potentially expensive, depending on the cost of the outfit you’re willing to invest in. Go down the costume shop, pick out costumes for you and your partner, then cut out sections around the genitals in each costume; unless you’re Paris Hilton, we assume you possess the mental powers to deduce the nasty act that should follow.
Number 2
Pumpkin Head
Jack-o’-lanterns are supposed to act as guides for lost spirits in the night. But in our twisted minds, they act as beacons for downright nasty things. While your girl is painting her face with orange and black makeup, you’ll cut a hole in a box to act as the table. Your girl will kneel down with her pumpkin-looking head poking out of the hole. You’ll stand in front of her, aim for the gaping black grin and put a candle of a different kind into the mouth of this jack-o’-lantern.
Number 1
Witches’ Brew
Fill a hot tub with brown food coloring, novelty eyeballs, Gothic candles, and two revved-up bisexual females. The bonus in this one is post-Witches’ Brew shower, in which you’ll either get to clean your partners or sit back and watch evil take its course.
**I was so disappointed that I couldn't post instructions for the "Tampon Ghost" (see pic on left) but I couldn't get all the pictures on here.
There's also a toupee you make to give your costume that little something extra.
So go check it out for yourself http://VisionPersonals.com.com
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The ins & outs of my self pleasure
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Posted:Oct 28, 2008 1:30 pm
Last Updated:Nov 2, 2008 10:23 am
10671 Views
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Over the last few months, my daily masturbation ritual has adjusted itself dramatically.
I can't explain how thankful I am.
My body had a need for some type of sexual satisfaction up to seven times a day.
Sometimes the "urge" can be overwhelming and there's just no shaking it, it's not going away, it won't be quiet, it won't quit tapping me on the shoulder, it just won't, not until it gets relief.
This has proved to be a real pain in my ass(not in a good way), the inconvenience coupled with the bad timing is just exhausting.
Now, my body is finally on my side and only demands an orgasm three to four times a day. I've been afraid to get too excited about this, in fear that it will go back to the way it was before, but it's been a while now, the new schedule has definitely been manageable for me and I couldn't be more thankful for it. Yay for me!!!
With all this being said, I feel like I probably qualify to be an expert on self pleasure, don't you think? Yeah.
I can get the urge from watching porn, reading something dirty, you know, the usual stuff.
Above all else I am very much visually stimulated,
I need a good visual in my head, when I close my eyes to enjoy my session of self love to the fullest.
I prefer fantasy scenarios, they don't have to be anything tabu or off the charts dirty, even though those are fun too, but it can be something as generic as having someone I know,
(they always have to have a face) licking my pussy like they're a professional,maybe have my sweet nipple boy fuck me from behind in a shower, or some hot foreign guy tie me up to his bed and torture me with his teasing, ooh, I know, one of my faves is riding a sexy dentist in his exam chair.
Don't judge me, I can't help what my body responds to, now can I?
If I get bored with my little scenarios, I don't ever have to look far for new panty wetting material, I find that you fellow perverted bloggers provide me with all the extra stimulation I need. I appreciate all of you for it!!!
The #1BF likes to watch Youporn, or look at naked pics of me until he finishes.
So, what do you need to help you get off when you're by yourself?
Do you like to watch porn the entire time?
Do you look at skin mags?
Do you remember a scene from your day and make it dirty in your head?
Do you imagine somebody unobtainable, like someone you work with or that one friend of your parents?
Do you need a full scene of something or can you just think about getting oral for a second and that's do the trick?
Come on, don't be shy, I tell you guys the intimate details of me all the time.........
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The Red Rain Boot Orgasm Theory
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Posted:Oct 26, 2008 2:09 pm
Last Updated:Oct 30, 2008 8:34 pm
10821 Views
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I was giving this some thought the other day.
(sorry, DB,you had your chance, luv ya though)
When receiving oral, i'm pretty particular, i'm not talking about the delivery, I mean the position i'm in.
I like the sexiness of all fours getting it from behind, and there is just something about sitting on a face while facing the guys(or girls)head, not feet, preferably able to hang on to a headboard or something similar.
For my orgasm to be at it's best during some divine tongue action, I need to be on my back.
Is it hard to believe that this dirty, dirty girl would prefer such vanilla behavior?
I have tried it every way you can think of, I promise.
On my back stabilizes my body while it spasms (which tend to be pretty intense most of the time) during my orgasm, this way I can feel it not only in my thighs and tummy but also up my back.
mmmmm, feels so good!!!
I think if it meant a more intense orgasm, i'd have sex wearing one red rain boot and a tupperware bowl on my head.
Never let it be said that i'm not willing to go the extra mile.
Do you have a preference for your oral sex position?
Are your orgasms more intense if your standing, sitting, in front of other people, laying down, on all fours, from behind, sitting on a face????????
Am I boring because I want to cum on my back?
Guys, when you are giving oral, does one position turn you on more than another?
When I give head, I prefer to do it on my knees looking up at him, sitting is fantastic, but if he's standing, holding a handful of hair, even better.....
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Tantric Tom and the Disgruntled Gal Pal
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Posted:Oct 24, 2008 12:41 pm
Last Updated:Nov 4, 2008 9:19 pm
10112 Views
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Tantric Tom is a friend of mine. An amazing person.
He's a highly educated type that has decided to get to know his inner self and experiment with some new things, now that he's reached the second half of his life.
During this period of self discovery, he's studied the Tantra and even gotten his gal pal to join in, he's becoming a hypnotist. Did you know they had sexual kinds of hypnotism?
Me either. Pretty cool huh?
I'll definitely be looking into that further.
Tantric Tom was your typical guy growing up, he felt geeky, awkward and like his cock was smaller than everyone else's.
Why are you boys so hung up on that?
Unless you're hung like an infant, you're average!!!
For me, it's what you do with it that counts.
Anyway,
Over the last couple of years of his self discovery, Tom has realized that he's not geeky, he's smart and interesting.
He's realized that he's not awkward, but rather handsome.
He's also recently found out that there is nothing wrong with his cock, that in fact, it's above average.
He finally has the self confidence that he's craved for so long.
He feels good just being him.
I'm so happy for him, most people go a lifetime without ever getting to feel like that.
Trouble ensues.............
Tantric Tom has gotten himself a profile on this site and has fun just like the rest of us. Still, never stepping outside his commitment with his gal pal. He told her all about it, in fact he's told her honestly about his new found sexual desires and wants her to be a part of it and experience new things with him.
She's always been a great lover for him, they've had good sex for years.He's enjoying blog land and making the most of it.
Recently, she's decided that he can't play on this site anymore and she doesn't like him blogging and if he doesn't stop she will leave him. I'd like to point out that Tantric Tom doesn't write about the perverted things that I, or most of you do.
I think he's simply unlocked the cheap therapy door of blog land that most of us use and need so frequently.
I can understand why she would feel threatened by the new him.
Even though, it's not like she's unattractive and frumpy, she's pretty with a nice butt.
What I can't understand is why she would take it to such extremes that she would threaten to leave and end the relationship if he doesn't stop immediately. He's been completely open and honest with her. He loves her and wants desperately for her to come along for the ride.
I feel like she should meet him at some kind of halfway point that will make them both happy and feeling satisfied.
She knew how he felt about himself before and I think she should support him,try and grow with him, applaud him for finally coming into his own.
To me, if this was my partner, it would be a happy, emotional experience seeing the man I love pleased with himself finally and it would make me feel loved that he wanted me to be by his side instead of him leaving me, buying a Corvette,and sleeping with 22 year old hotties. But that's just me.
I think sometimes you have to put your own happiness first.
If you don't make yourself a top priority you stand a good chance at missing out on some pretty important personal growth opportunities.
Tantric Tom, i'm giving you a virtual standing ovation, because I think you deserve it.
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MM's Boyfriend & The Secret
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Posted:Oct 23, 2008 8:39 pm
Last Updated:Oct 31, 2008 4:48 am
10421 Views
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So, a friend of mine asked my advice on a problem she's having but swore me to secrecy. Now I can't consult our other friends on giving her the best advice. What the hell? What do I do now?
I'll tell you what i'm doing, i'm coming to you for help....
You always help me so this should work.
ok, so here's the deal...
Her boyfriend isn't divorced yet, separated and filed, but not officially divorced.
As it turns out he has a 14 yr old, well on paper anyway, the was his wife's from a teenage one night stand.
Apparently, he was pressured into adopting the by his wife's family, who has been raising the (in another state) up until a few years ago.
The boyfriend didn't tell her anything about a until August, because he thought the would never be an issue since it wasn't really his and when he left she'd of course stay with the mom. Apparently the wife put the hurry on getting the adoption finalized and now he's looking down the barrel of about $1000 a month for support.
So MM,(my friend)forgave him for not being honest about the thing.
She told him she'd do whatever was needed to make sure the was comfortable when the time came for them to meet and be a part of each others lives.(she's a sweetie)
Her boyfriend told her after the divorce is final he probably won't have a life with the because she doesn't want to anyway and he knows when the wife finds a new man which he thinks will be quick, she will push him away and just collect a check.
He's been out of the house and away from his wife since July, hasn't really had any contact with the other than the occasional text message. The wife emails him and asks him to take the to her track meet a few weeks ago, he did, was disappointed that the wasn't overly excited to see him.
Oh, I left out that before the split the told him she didn't want anything to do with him because he's not her dad.
He hasn't seen her since the track meet until Tuesday, when he told MM that the wife had called him saying she was going out of town and he needed to come stay at their house and take care of the for 2 days.
MM told him maybe they shouldn't have any contact for a couple of days to make sure he had his head straight and was doing what was right for him. I guess that lasted 1/2 a day before he was texting her and saying that plan sucked and he didn't want to go that long with no contact because he loves her.
here's her problem:
Today she realized that she doesn't know if she wants to be in a relationship like this because the wife is the puppet master, already uses the as a weapon against him and she knows it will only get worse. She's also afraid that she will puppet master him all the time to do this and do that, finally freaking out and cause a mountain of shit when she finds out about her.
MM said she was fine dealing with the thing, no problem, but guesses she hadn't thought about how much the wife would have to be involved with them and she thinks she has issues with this and doesn't like the idea of him at the wife's beck and call all the time, pulling his chain and saying it's because of the .
He keeps assuring her that there won't be any issues to be worried about.
MM says she loves him with all her heart and she knows he loves her the same way.
Her questions to me were:
"What should I do?"
"Should I end it now and spare myself the grief?"
"Should I be with the man I love and deal with the problems as they come together with him?"
So help me help her, what should I tell her?
Please give me some insight and advice to share.
Oh great, now i've pimped out my cheap therapy!!
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26 Questions For You
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Posted:Oct 21, 2008 9:21 am
Last Updated:Oct 29, 2008 5:27 pm
10204 Views
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Please feed my need for information......
1.Does your spouse/significant other know you play on this site?
2.If NO, what would happen if they found out?
3.Are you on this site because you are looking for:
A.Some sex
B.sex without so much work involved
C.someone into your same fetishes
D.some discreet ass on the side
4.Would you perform oral sex on a girl you just met?
5.Do you do the finger "sniff test" before going down?
(sorry, that's a term my brothers use)
6.Have you ever had sex with 5 or more people at a time?
7.Have you ever been to a swingers/sex club?
8.Do you like to video record yourself having sex?
9.Do you keep pics of your sex partners in the act?
10.If you answered YES to 8 or 9, have you ever shown them to other people, like friends, etc...
11.Have you ever posted video of a past sex partner on youporn?
12.Have you been involved with a married couple and the other spouse just watched?
13.Guys, have you ever had a M/F/M threeway?
14.If yes, have you ever "crossed swords"?
15.Have you met someone from this site and tried something you've never done before?
16.Do you have any sexual fantasies that you wouldn't dare tell your significant other?
17.Have you been able to live out a fantasy in the last 6 months?
18.If you were having phone sex,what would be the best to talk about to get you off?(girls, adjust accordingly)
A.Describing how I would suck your cock?
B.Telling you I want you to fuck me in the ass?
C.Telling you I want you to lick my pussy?
D.Describing how good you feel inside me?
19.Do you enjoy anal play?
20.Do you enjoy rimming, either giving or receiving?
21.Have you or anyone you've been with ever gone ass to mouth?
22.Have you ever gotten turned on just reading a story or a blog post?
23.Have you ever touched yourself while looking at pictures on here?
24.Have you ever fantasized about anyone on this site?
25.Have you ever done the cam thing?
26.If YES, why the hell wasn't I invited?
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The Proper Wife Was Snubbed!!
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Posted:Oct 20, 2008 11:56 am
Last Updated:May 3, 2012 5:48 pm
10777 Views
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This weekend I was a good girl.
The spouse had a business related dinner party so I played proper wife put on my proper wife "going out to land a deal" uniform, which consists of a leg baring, somewhat snug fitting dress, sexy shoes, and I just got fucked hair.
All of which he demands, however, if I were going to a club with my friends he freaks out over my wardrobe choice, so i'm forced to smuggle clothes out like i'm in high school.
I know my job when he takes me to things like this.
I need to flirt with whoever he's trying to woo into business, not so much that he thinks I want to sleep with him, but just enough to make him want to keep coming around.
Usually these dinners are held at our home, which makes me a little more confident on my home turf.
This particular dinner was held at one of the new business peoples home, there were five couples total. Everyone was at least twenty years older than me, but that's fairly common.
I had never met any of these people before, so it wasn't like I had any of the other younger wives from our circle to lean on.
Dinner was nice, conversation was good. The men walked out to the outdoor fireplace to discuss, i'm guessing business, all the ladies stayed inside and talked, they were cordial, for a while, until one of them (the hostess)leans over the table, grabs my hand firmly, I thought she was going to try and arm wrestle me, looks at my wedding ring and then at the other ladies and says this:
"goodness, what must you have done to get this"
Oh my god,I was so embarrassed, I wanted to die right there!
I wanted so badly to say to her "I don't know what I did, but apparently I do it better than you" but I didn't, instead I just smiled and commented on how generous the spouse is and what a lucky girl I am.(BARF!!!) I really can say that with a straight face believe it or not.
Maybe I should have pursued a career in acting?
Finally, I realize that as much as I secretly hoped somebody would keel over from one of their various ailments to get me the hell out of there, it just wasn't going to happen.
So I sneak out the terrace door, to make a quick call to the #1BF so he can make me feel better then I was going to find the spouse and tell him it's time we went home.
I hear the evil witch come out on the deck above me so no phone call, I head up toward the men folk, they are talking and don't see me yet, when I hear the spouse say this:
"oh, i'm no fool,that's the best pussy in town, i'd lock her in the house if I could" about this time one of the men notices me, which of course added to the humiliation.
It was horrible!!
I ended up telling spouse I didn't feel well, left him there and sent his , who's thirty five and staying with us, to pick him up.
I didn't mention anything about it when he got home, since he was on the south end of a bottle of Bombay, I figured it wouldn't do me any good.
Sunday morning, I finally asked him why he said that and all he said was "oh babe, you know I like to brag about you and they love hearing that stuff makes them wish they had one" and then smacked me on the ass.
1.I wish I would have just told those dirty old men that he does keep me locked in the house, and if I did have the supposed best pussy in town, he'd never know it because it's been so long since he's been near it.
2.How funny would it have been if I told those tight ass old women to fuck off and then poured a glass of red wine on her tacky ass white carpet.
3.Would you ever be so disrespectful to your wife?
This whole thing hurt my feelings and of course he doesn't understand why and thinks i'm ridiculous.
What do you think? Am I being ridiculous and silly?
Go ahead tell me the truth, I can take it.
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The Chick Magnet, yeah that's me!
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Posted:Oct 19, 2008 11:50 am
Last Updated:Oct 27, 2008 2:35 pm
10008 Views
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So, I walked past the t.v. today and the show that was on caught my attention immediately. It was called "The Pick up Artist".
The show is hosted by some guy named "Mystery", who has his chin pierced,black nail polish,facial hair that resembles something you'd see on a vagina, and he dresses like a drag queen.
Apparently,Mystery,is an expert on all things women.
He is supposed to be teaching the contestants, who are nerdy,virgin types, how to bag chicks.
Here are some of the problems I have with this:
1.What qualifies the drag queen to school anyone on picking up women?
2.If that idiot ever approached me in the club, with the bullshit he teaches these poor guys, chances are very likely that I would bitch slap him and i'm really not even the bitch slap type.
3.These poor guys want so desperately to score with girls, but all the idiot is doing is turning them into the typical bar slug that girls like me shoot down for sport. Trust me guys, we don't like that type!
4.They gave the guys a much needed makeover and i'm happy about that, but what's wrong with them that they would ever want to look or act like that freaky drag queen?
I've always had a soft spot for the nerdy type, and have found that they are usually only a makeover away from being the perfect man. I will choose the smart, sincere, witty guy over the beefy, self involved,line thrower every time.
I think I should teach classes on how to pick up chicks.
I could teach them way more about women than "Mystery" ever could, I suspect I could probably teach him a few things too.
I would also offer classes on things like how to give the best oral experience, anal 101, , etc...
Then they could call me The Pick Up Artist!!! Yeah!!
So what do you think? Would you rather learn from me or Mystery, who, I forgot to mention, wears a feather boa?
Do you think there's a need for helping these guys at all?
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The
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Posted:Oct 16, 2008 9:36 pm
Last Updated:Oct 23, 2008 5:30 pm
10915 Views
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A couple of years ago, the geriatric spouse decided I was a full blown sex addict. He was sure of it because he'd read all about it.
He took me to our doctor, who is a golf buddy of his.
As I sat there like a five year old, he tells the doctor all my symptoms, explains that he has read about this addiction extensively and really feels with treatment "my little problem" will be able to be more manageable.
I'd had a full physical like two or three months before this visit. The doctor tells spouse that there's nothing physically wrong with me and that most men would give their right eye to have a wife with a sex drive like mine. I'm sitting there with a grin that says hah, not for long though, because the good doctor ended with "you know, if you really think she has a problem, she should see a therapist." Oh great!
A few weeks later, the spouse takes me to the therapist, my mother was a psychologist so it didn't scare me to see the therapist, I was just irritated.
The spouse had a pep in his step that day, a look of confidence, knowing that this doctor surely was educated enough to give the diagnosis that he'd been so desperate to hear....
Therapist calls me in, spouse insists on going in, once again, explaining my text book symptoms and that he had read extensively about it and he's sure that's my problem.
After about ten minutes, therapist told him he had to scram so that we could talk alone. He asked me an ass load of questions, most of which I found quite amusing. Forty five minutes went by and we were done. Therapist made me an appointment for the next week, claiming that he like for us to finish our discussion.
The next appointment was more questions, scenarios, etc...
at the end of this one he called in the spouse, had him sit next to me and told him that I didn't fit the profile of a true sex addict, and in his opinion, I do appear to have an above average sex drive, but it's just the way i'm wired.
Well, thank god, now maybe we can put this whole thing to rest finally and go home and have sex like wild animals.
Nope! Spouse decided that I needed to continue to see the therapist until he realized that I have a problem.
I've been seeing therapist twice a month ever since.
Each appointment is exactly the same, he asked me how i've been, if there's anything I want to talk about, then for the rest of my session we discuss his , current events, politics, local stuff, you know BS small talk. The spouse pays $250.00 a visit for this conversation.(serves him right)
I guess it's worth every penny so he doesn't have to admit that one of things he loved most about his then,24 yr old bride was now something he can't keep up with at 60 and his sex drive is pretty much non existent.
Instead, it's a much better plan to make the poor younger wife think that something is wrong with her, which in turn makes her feel, unwanted, undesirable, & unattractive. Yeah, that's a way better idea, huh?
About a year ago he decides i'm not cured because I don't go to any of the support meetings.
SLAA(Sex, Love Addicts Anonymous)
As luck would have it, Therapist leads an SLAA meeting so I wasn't forced to wear a scarf and dark sunglasses and slip off into a dark church basement full of weirdos and stale doughnuts.
Yay! for me..
Therapist only lets me attend a meeting once a month now, only to keep the spouse quiet, and i'm not allowed to talk in them anymore. Seems I was asking the other people too many personal questions, surely that doesn't surprise any of you does it?
As you might imagine, I look forward to these meetings.
No matter what kind of day i've had, I know I will leave there in a good mood because it is entertainment at it's finest.
It's almost as much fun as being a spectator at a hillbilly sex club.
We all sit down, s soon as he says "let's get started" I get so excited that i'm just shy of rubbing my hands together with a sinister grin. Love it!!
They all take turns talking about the sex they've had for the week and how they felt about it, as well as their trivial problems. It's fantastic.
Oh, I forgot to mention that the majority are Peachtree City housewives.
I've learned a lot about myself in these meetings, but mostly i've learned that i'm not a sex addict, at least by definition of the psychiatric community.
I also don't think that the other women in attendance are either, I think they're bored with their suburban lives of privilege in this uptight community, with husbands that aren't giving them enough attention, so they go get laid.
They aren't sex addicts, they're just sluts!
But that's just my un professional opinion.
Confession:
I have never told therapist anything about the past few years, not one thing. I've never told him about the fact that i'm a die hard voyeur, but at the same time a major league exhibitionist.
Never a hint about the "first string" of boys, well and girls.
Nothing, i've never said a word, and I never will.
I learned over the years not to trust anyone on the spouses payroll with anything personal.
Here's a little tip for you guys:
Get online and look up your local SLAA meeting.
This could be an untapped market of freaky chicks that put out.
I'm just sayin........
So here's the official list, check it out for yourself.
Symptoms of Sexual Addiction
Frequently engaging in more sex and with more partners than intended. i'm not sure what this even means
Being preoccupied with or persistently craving sex; wanting to cut down and unsuccessfully attempting to limit sexual activity.
Thinking of sex to the detriment of other activities or continually engaging in excessive sexual practices despite a desire to stop. hmmm, maybe
Spending considerable time in activities related to sex, such as cruising for partners or spending hours online visiting pornographic Web sites. uh oh!
Neglecting obligations such as work, school or family in pursuit of sex. no
Continually engaging in the sexual behavior despite negative consequences, such as broken relationships or potential health risks. phew! no
Escalating scope or frequency of sexual activity to achieve the desired effect, such as more frequent visits to prostitutes or more sex partners. ummm no comment
Feeling irritable when unable to engage in the desired behavior.
oh hell
Could be worse you know, I could be addicted to sniffing glue or smoking crack.
Well, at least I have you guys, huh?
Question:
1.Do you think you are a sex addict based on the "official" list?
2.Have you ever known a true sex addict and what was your experience?
3.Do you think the geriatric spouse is right and I am a sex addict but am in complete denial?
**Disclaimer:
I realize I made a couple digs at my SLAA group, but i'm only talking about the group I attend, i'm not, in any way making fun of anyone involved in any other SLAA group, so please don't send me nasty email because you're a sex addict that needs those meetings to get by.
If you are that person, I have big news for you....
Your meeting isn't working because you're on a fucking adult site trying to get laid.
Have you confessed that to YOUR therapist?
I didn't think so...So we'll just keep this to ourselves.
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** You Decide**
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Posted:Oct 15, 2008 12:34 pm
Last Updated:Oct 24, 2008 2:26 pm
10731 Views
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I've been considering writing about the spouse deciding that i'm a sex addict and the experience(s) that have gone along with that.
This post will probably be:
a little personal (relax, it's not a lifetime movie type thing)
insightful
funny
possibly offensive (maybe not)
I use this blog for my cheap therapy a lot.
Here's the question:
What do you think? Should I write it anyway and take the risk of offending someone? This is my blog anyway and I should be able to write whatever the hell I want, especially if it's about me, don't you think? Is this a story you'd like to hear?
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You're Attracted To.....What?
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Posted:Oct 14, 2008 8:43 pm
Last Updated:Oct 16, 2008 2:38 pm
10823 Views
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I was reading my messages here today and it made me wonder how some of the people decided I would be a good match for them.
Do they like that my profile is somewhat like a handy dandy itemized list?
Did I dazzle them with my wit?
Are they attracted to woman with a smartass undertone?
Did my love of all things oral reel them in?
It could have been any or all of those things.
I'm certainly not going to underestimate the power of my bubbly (Charro on The Love Boat) personality, however, i'm thinkin it may have a little more to do with the picture....
So, I want to know the truth and don't sugar coat it!!!
How does your decision making process work?
Obviously, a lot of the attraction is physical.
1.Since you are a blog reader, can I assume you read the profile in full as well?
2.Do you read the additional questions?
3.In the section that lists what we're into like S&M, cross dressing or whatever the fetish du jour may be, does that play a major part in your choosing?
4.Do check out the written physical stats?
5.What about the other questions? ex: Do you say things like...
"she likes Skynard? Hell yeah, that's the woman for me!"
6.Does the area where we write what we are looking for come into play at all?
7.Do you think our profiles really give you an idea of who the person is?
8.Do you find bloggers to be more interesting?
If yes, is it because it's more of an indicator of their personality?
9.Are the extra pics a deal maker, breaker, or they don't matter at all?
10.Do you prefer a naked shot for the main profile pic?
Have I missed anything?
Tell me how you choose the lucky recipients of your messages?
ooh, also, I have to know....
Do you copy and paste the same message to all of your matches because you believe there's power in numbers, the more poles you put in the water, the better the chances of catching a fish or do you only message a select few? (be honest, no bullshit here)
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To link to this blog (shannalvs2swllow) use [blog shannalvs2swllow] in your messages.
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