BIOLOGY CLASS MID-TERM
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Posted:Nov 9, 2014 10:21 am
Last Updated:Nov 15, 2014 3:42 pm
1721 Views
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Students in an advanced Biology class were taking their mid-term exam.
The last question was: “Name seven advantages of Mother's Milk.”
The question was worth 70 points or none at all.
One student in particular, let's call him Jerry, was hard put to think of seven advantages.
Nonetheless, he wrote:
1) It is perfect formula for the .
2) It provides immunity against several diseases.
3) It is always the right temperature.
4) It is inexpensive.
5) It bonds the to mother, and vice versa.
6) It is always available as needed.
And then Jerry was stuck.
Finally, in desperation, just before the bell rang indicating the end of the test, he wrote:
7) It comes in two attractive containers and it's high enough off the ground where the cat can't get it.
He got an A.
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~ DE - STRESS ~
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Posted:Oct 3, 2014 7:29 am
Last Updated:May 2, 2024 8:0 am
1942 Views
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A young lady confidently walked around the room with a raised glass of water while leading a seminar and explaining stress management to her audience. Everyone knew she was going to ask the ultimate question, 'Half empty or half full?' She fooled them all. "How heavy is this glass of water?" she inquired with a smile.
Answers called out ranged from 8 oz. To 20 oz.
She replied, "The absolute weight doesn't matter. It depends on how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute, that's not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm. If I hold it for a day, you'll have to call an ambulance. In each case it's the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes."
She continued, "and that's the way it is with stress. If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, we won't be able to carry on."
"As with the glass of water, you have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again. When we're refreshed, we can carry on with the burden - holding stress longer and better each time practiced.
So, as early in the evening as you can, put all your burdens down. Don't carry them through the evening and into the night. Pick them up again tomorrow if you must.
1 Accept the fact that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue! Sometimes you're the windshield, sometimes you're the bug!
2 Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
3 Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.
4 Drive carefully... It's not only cars that can be recalled by their Maker.
5 If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
6 If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
7 It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
8 Never buy a car you can't push.
9 Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you won't have a leg to stand on.
10 Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
11 Since it's the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late.
12 The second mouse gets the cheese.
13 When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
14 Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.
16 Some mistakes are too much fun to make only once.
17 We could learn a lot from crayons. Some are sharp, some are pretty and some are dull. Some have weird names and all are different colors, but they all have to live in the same box.
18 A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.
19 Have an awesome day and know that someone has thought about you today.
AND MOST IMPORTANTLY
20 Save the earth..... It's the only planet with chocolate!
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Thanks for y-o-u-r ever good thoughts . . .
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Posted:Sep 21, 2014 9:58 am
Last Updated:May 2, 2024 8:0 am
1886 Views
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Here are some of my  own, please enjoy:
~ FAITH OF THE HEART ~ Rod Stewart
It's been a long road
Getting from there to here
It's been a long time
But my time is finally near
And I can feel the change in the wind right now
Nothings in my way
And they're not gonna hold me down no more
No there not gonna hold me down
Cause I've got faith of the heart
I'm going where my heart will take me
I've got faith to believe
I can do anything
I've got strength of the soul
And no one's gonna bend or break me
I can reach any star
I've got faith
I've got faith
Faith of the heart . . .
It's been a long night
Trying to find my way
Been through the darkness
Now I finally have my day
I will see my dream come alive at last
I will touch the sky
And they're not gonna hold me down no more
No there not gonna change my mind
Cause I've got faith of the heart
I'm going where my heart will take me
I've got faith to believe
I can do anything
I've got strength of the soul
And no one's gonna bend or break me
I can reach any star
I've got faith
Faith of the heart.
I've known a wind so cold and seen the darkest days
But now the winds I feel are only winds of change
I've been through the fire and I've been through the rain
But I'll be fine
Cause I've got faith of the heart
I'm going where my heart will take me
I've got faith to believe
I can do anything
I've got strength of the Soul
And no one's gonna bend or break me
I can reach any star
I've got faith
Faith of the heart
Faith of the heart
I'm going where my heart will take me
I've got faith to believe
That no one's gonna bend or break me
I can reach any star
I've got faith
I've got faith
Faith of the heart,
It’s been a long road . . .
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come up with the darnedest things - -
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Posted:Sep 17, 2014 1:23 pm
Last Updated:May 2, 2024 8:0 am
1915 Views
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A group of pre-K were talking busily together one afternoon on the playground. They were curiously debating about GOD, Heaven and related matters.
Johnny adamantly told his playmates, “When we pass away, we go to Heaven front first!”
“How do you know?” insisted little Eddie?
Johnny answered, “Well, my Grandma died a couple weeks ago. I saw her lying there in the coffin! The Hand of GOD just reaches down and plucks her up from there! So, there! She went to Heaven front first!”
While little Eddie was thinking about this, little Henry chimed in, “Naa… just think about it! That’s probably how she left the coffin alright! But eventually, GOD would have to bend HIS Elbow to draw her up! And then she would have been drawn in head first!”
Small Sally, who had been listening very carefully, was very self-assured when she announced that ALL the boys were wrong! And then added, “WE GO TO HEAVEN FEET FIRST !!”
Dismayed by her confidence, the stood silent until Eleanor asked, “Well Sally, how do you know that?!”
To which Sally confidently replied, “Just last night I got out of bed to pee. I was going down the hallway toward the bathroom and I heard some noises coming from Mommy and Daddy’s room! Gosh, I wanted to be sure they were alright! So then I L0-0Ked through the key hole in their door!
I saw BOTH of my Mommy’s feet pointed straight up to the ceiling. She kept kinda hollering- ‘O GOD! I’m c o m i n g !!!’ – Over and over! It was a good thing Daddy was on top of her holding her down! Or you know — I believe she’d have gone!”
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H u m o r o l o g y
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Posted:Sep 17, 2014 1:20 pm
Last Updated:Sep 19, 2014 2:11 pm
1904 Views
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An engineer dies and goes to hell. He’s hot and miserable so he decides to take action. The A/C has been busted for a long time, so he fixes it. Things cool down quickly. The moving walkway motor jammed, so he unjams it. People can from place to place more easily. The TV was grainy and unclear; so he fixes the connection to the satellite dish and now everyone gets hundreds of perfect HD channels, although they still cannot watch “Breaking Bad” on AMC.
One day, GOD looks at hell to see how things are working out and notices that everyone is happy and enjoying umbrella drinks. He asks the devil what’s up? The devil says, “Things are great down here since we got an engineer.”
“What?” exclaims GOD! “An engineer? I did not send you one of those. There must have been a mistake. Send him to Heaven immediately.”
The devil responds, “No way! We want to keep our engineer. We like him!”
GOD demands, “Send him to Heaven immediately, or we’ll sue!”
The devil laughs out loud! Upon regaining his composure asks, “Where are YOU going to get a lawyer?”
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Who is Mr. Gorsky?
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Posted:Sep 2, 2014 5:56 pm
Last Updated:May 2, 2024 8:0 am
2323 Views
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IN CASE YOU DIDN'T ALREADY KNOW THIS LITTLE TIDBIT OF TRIVIA —
ON JULY 20, 1969, AS COMMANDER OF APOLLO 11 AND THE LUNAR MODULE, EAGLE, NEIL ARMSTRONG WAS THE FIRST PERSON TO SET FOOT ON THE MOON.
HIS FIRST WORDS AFTER STEPPING ON THE MOON: "THAT'S ONE SMALL STEP FOR MAN, ONE GIANT LEAP FOR MANKIND," WERE TELEVISED TO EARTH AND HEARD BY MILLIONS.
BUT JUST BEFORE HE RE-ENTERED THE EAGLE LANDER, HE MADE THE ENIGMATIC REMARK : "GOOD LUCK, MR. GORSKY."
MANY PEOPLE AT NASA THOUGHT IT WAS A CASUAL REMARK CONCERNING SOME RIVAL SOVIET COSMONAUT.
HOWEVER, UPON CHECKING, THERE WAS NO GORSKY IN EITHER THE RUSSIAN OR AMERICAN SPACE PROGRAMS.
OVER THE YEARS, MANY PEOPLE QUESTIONED ARMSTRONG AS TO WHAT HIS: “GOOD LUCK, MR. GORSKY” STATEMENT MEANT, BUT ARMSTRONG ALWAYS JUST SMILED.
ON JULY 5, 1995, TAMPA BAY, FLORIDA , WHILE ANSWERING QUESTIONS FOLLOWING A SPEECH, A REPORTER BROUGHT UP THE 26-YEAR-OLD QUESTION ABOUT ‘Mr. Gorsky’ TO ARMSTRONG.
THIS TIME HE FINALLY RESPONDED BECAUSE MR. GORSKY HAD DIED. SO NEIL ARMSTRONG FELT HE COULD FINALLY ANSWER THE QUESTION.
HERE IS THE ANSWER TO "WHO WAS MR GORSKY?" :
IN 1938, WHEN HE WAS A IN A SMALL MID-WESTERN TOWN , HE WAS PLAYING BASEBALL WITH A FRIEND IN THE BACKYARD.
HIS FRIEND HIT THE BALL, WHICH LANDED IN HIS NEIGHBOR'S YARD AND CAME TO REST UNDER THEIR BEDROOM WINDOW.
HIS NEIGHBORS WERE MR. AND MRS. GORSKY. AS NEIL LEANED DOWN TO PICK UP THE BALL, YOUNG ARMSTRONG HEARD MRS. GORSKY SHOUTING AT MR. GORSKY: "SEX! YOU WANT SEX?! YOU'LL GET SEX WHEN THE NEXT DOOR WALKS ON THE MOON!"
IT BROKE THE PLACE UP . . .
NEIL ARMSTRONG'S FAMILY CONFIRMS THIS IS A TRUE STORY.
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Where did America go wrong on Sports?
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Posted:Jul 22, 2014 12:06 pm
Last Updated:Sep 12, 2014 5:30 am
2700 Views
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Do you think that American women will ever get into
this same spirit when it comes to the game of soccer?
This is how BRAZILIAN Women celebrate a soccer goal...
G o o a a l l l . . . ! ! ! ! !
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Has it ever happened to you?
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Posted:Jul 22, 2014 7:29 am
Last Updated:Aug 13, 2014 7:21 am
2739 Views
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MY FIRST MENAGE A TRIOS . . .
I had run into really bad highway traffic getting to her apartment. Are you kidding me? Be late on purpose?! She had wondered it out loud. NO CHANCE!!! For the several years that Peggy was my girl, I simultaneously had the highest testosterone level and the lowest sperm-count of ALL the M E N in central Florida! And that’s somewhat understated – heh, heh, heh!!! My body had to often resist turning itself into a “laser targeted, heat-seeking missile” almost every time I thought about her!
My motto: “Always aim & shoot higher than you know you can do. Don't try to be better than your predecessors or contemporaries. Try to be better than yourself.”
Living up to this is what led me into Peggy’s life in the first place. She was a college graduate — a real “smartie!” She had been married before. More than my one prior time. She was a practicing “serial monogamist” from all I could see. Sensual . . . Sexual . . . “Drop-dead Gorgeous” only scratched the surface in describing her alluring beauty. She had the-e-e most voluptuous lips & adventurous mouth I have ever known . . . ! Peggy was sexual narcosis incarnate! I still often swell and raise my manhood in salute of her to this very day . . . whenever I remember . . . [MAJOR b-l-u-s-h-i-n-g, Ladies ;^)] I had aimed high and found out that S H E wanted ME! She was several years older and very much in her prime years!
I used the key she had given me to let myself into her apartment that hot summer day. I felt something unusual as I gazed into the large rooms off the foyer. I could hear Peggy, but I couldn’t see her?? As I walked into her living room I noticed her jeans and panties were tossed onto the floor next to the sofa. She was laying on it, flush with the cushions — her body naked from the waist down! Her legs were spread apart and she was fingering herslf and stimulating her clit like a woman possessed! She grinned up at me and told me this was “my fault for being late . . .” She gasped it out and grunted soft moans while her left hand spread her labia and her right hand made the moves! I was SO surprised!
I quickly slid over the ottoman and sat where I could see E V E R Y T H I N G! Her passions just roared on! Finally, I kneeled next to her and augmented her fingers with my own darting tongue flicks. Sometimes different parts of her body would begin quaking and I would pull her hands away and give her the long broad of tongue with the constant pressure to her pearl on the step that I knew she so enjoyed. She bucked all over like a wild mare! Orgasm One. “You bastard! You win, again!?!” she panted up at me.
She was, of course, referring to the little game that I had invented for the two us — particularly when we did “69”. It was playful enough to start out with when I invented it. The rules were simple: anything goes and whoever cums first is the loser!” I NEVER L O S E this game! Never . . . But I’m a good sport! So I consoled her with the fact that “I’d had an unofficial head-start and that if she wanted a rematch to bring it!”
She sat upright and undid my shorts. They fell to around my ankles. I never wear underwear. She began her quest! Knowing my devoted fondness for her lips, she started raking them back and forth over the head of my cock. Using my feet, I kicked away my shorts. So there we were! Both of us naked from the waist down in the living room! My cock was in her mouth. She sucked me while she pumped me with her left hand. Her right hand was shoved back down onto her snatch and she was masturbating like fiend once more! We were a verbally expressive couple during all our sexual encounters. (We enjoyed the same trait in the married couple without , directly upstairs. I mention they had no , but I was sure that would eventually change IF they kept up with their constant practicing ;^)
Peggy had a roommate who had the second bedroom. Peggy slept in the master bedroom. Sandi was a recent divorcee and much younger than either Peg or I. She was mid-20’s I reckoned. Sandi was slender, stylish and very sexy. Yet she also seemed a might sexually inhibited when the men would come up to her in the clubs and ask her to dance. Peggy had once relayed that Sandi had described her ex-‘s sexual practices to Peggy. Peggy had also readily concluded that Vince had been a Minute-Man – lol! So sad! See ya! Wouldn’t wanna be ya — ole Vinceroo! Sandi was a hottie who just hadn’t had “it” — you know, the right kind of consistently sound fucking a girl craves so she becomes a woman in her own rite!
While Peg sucked my cock, I had absolutely N-O idea that I would inadvertently soon get to make a large contribution to “the cause of Sandi’s sexual awakening;” anymore than Peggy had an inkling that S H E would also eat another woman’s pussy for the first time EVER in HER life! So there we were! Until the front door unlocked and Sandi walked in on us — stunned — but clearly fascinated by her view of things. I started to laugh and croak out a greeting to Peggy’s roommate. Since we only paused, neither of us reached for our clothes or tried to cover — I expected Sandi to flee or to get pretty annoyed with us. She just stared and L0=0Ked at us in astonishment. When I asked her if she was OK, she started to shake her head and to apologize for intruding on us. I quipped back, “Well, accidents can sometimes happen!”
We started to get up to move ourselves into Peggy’s bedroom . . . But Sandi busted a move on us instead! She blocked the hallway and stared at my pecker! With a broad smile, she said: “Bass, I have never seen such a gorgeous cock as yours!” Many women have given me similar compliments all of my adult life! I thanked her. I may have blushed a tad :^D Who knows? Peggy volunteered, “Well, I’m glad that you aren’t upset by us. We were going to go into my bedroom now!”
“NOT U P S E T!!!” Sandi shrieked. And then she began to sob . . . she threw up her arms and through an obviously choked-up throat she sputtered out in a stream of words — loudly, too: “I’ve listened to the two of you fucking each others’ brains out for almost the past year in her bedroom! You guys fuck more than rabbits! You NEVER do quickies! Or at least not from what I can tell! Only one of you ever goes to the kitchen for a snack or some water when he stays the night. The whole time I’m lying in my bed while my head is spinning from the sounds I hear the two of you make. My whole body trembles. I touch my cunt and I’m drenched from hearing other people have the kinds of sex THAT I’VE NEVER HAD!”
Sandi’s hands clenched into fists and she waved them up and down — tantrum fashion! “I want what you guys have! I want to be fucked THAT HARD!” Peggy just walked over to her roommate and caught her wrists. “STOP IT!” Peggy commanded. She looked back over her shoulder at me . . . I couldn’t tell what was lurking in that cagy, crafty, insatiable mind of Peggy’s. (BUT I soon found out!) “Alright already! OK! OK! We hear you loud and clear! Let’s get busy, Sandi!”
And that WE DID! My first menage a trios was that afternoon! I had always dreamed of it . . . but that afternoon and into the evening, then the night, all the way into the early morning hours of the next day . . . my first menage a trios was beyond any man’s dream!!!
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To link to this blog (reddiver5343) use [blog reddiver5343] in your messages.
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