Just a peek
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Posted:Mar 15, 2016 9:55 am
Last Updated:Mar 15, 2016 6:39 pm
28309 Views
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Been too busy to visit regularly, so how about a peek?
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4
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Sexism and technology
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Posted:Mar 10, 2016 4:04 pm
Last Updated:Mar 11, 2016 6:47 pm
26622 Views
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Went to buy my an iPhone for his birthday, and left very annoyed. My plan was to buy an unlocked iPhone at the Apple store, then put him on my contract-free plan. Should have been a 10 minute job, but the "genius" assigned to me kept trying to upsell me on the models. Dude, the is lucky to get an iPhone, he doesn't need 64 gigs. Then when I tell them I simply want an unlocked phone, it's like I killed his puppy. Now no doubt, they get a cut of new cell plans, but it's no reason to lie to me and tell me that it won't work without an AT&T sim. Then don't get me started about AppleCare warranties. Look, if my is dumb enough to break is phone, he knows he's shit out of luck. Now maybe I would have had more luck if I didn't go in wearing the mom sweatshirt and yoga pants. Next time I'll try wearing a too-tight sweater or a blouse with strategically popped buttons.
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8
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International Relations
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Posted:Mar 4, 2016 9:47 am
Last Updated:Mar 8, 2016 9:34 am
26893 Views
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Just back after a week in Switzerland for a conference. A couple of notes:
-I am officially unable to ever fly coach again after going first class of Swissair. I swear, I probably had enough privacy to have sex in my cabin.
-For a people that I had a stereotype of being stuck up, I was pleasantly surprised to find an amazing sex shop around the corner from my hotel. I wish I planned ahead before spending the night having my ass fucked with a new glass dildo, I could barely sit for the next day
-I met up with a lovely female co-attendee, and we spent the night showing her how the USA rolls
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5
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Oral Sex Horror Stories
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Posted:Feb 1, 2016 4:11 am
Last Updated:Feb 3, 2016 1:42 pm
26981 Views
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I horrifically experienced one of these lol
1. The death by wiener.
I once got a cock ring stuck in my throat while giving a blow job, and I started choking. I was thinking to myself: “This is it. This is how I’m doing to die. Death by wiener.” I also started thinking about my funeral and people asking my mom how it happened. I started laughing so hard at the absurdity of it all that the cock ring got unstuck.
—MistressMissy
2. The rippin’ foreskin.
I had my labret (under my lip) pierced, and a U-shaped hoop and little spikes on each side to keep it on. One day I was going down on my boyfriend, and when he went to push his dick in, his foreskin managed to get caught on my lip ring. One of the little spikes ripped through his foreskin and pierced it. I had to take the other spike off and pulling the ring out through my lip and his dick. I stopped wearing spikes on my piercings the next day.
—homewardbound
3. The vomit vacuum.
My boyfriend and I were on vacation and decided to head into the bedroom for the night. We had a little too much wine, but still decided to have oral sex. I threw up on his penis, and my instant reaction was to suck all of the vomit back in my mouth. He later described it as a vacuuming sensation and thought it was pretty cool. I cried for a solid two hours.
4. The white hot nostrils.
I was giving my first blow job ever. In a moment of horny rage, he pushed my head down when he climaxed. He shot cum into the back of my mouth and through my nose, and it royally burned my nostrils. I quickly pulled off and started waving my hands and freaking out. It was disgusting. Later, it turned out he had no idea that it happened.
—l460802d2b
5. The cum shot.
A couple of weeks ago my dude was going down on me. He had been at it for a hot minute and I was cumming all over the place. I felt myself about to cum again, and I knew I was going to squirt, so I tried to get him out of the way. He refused to move, and I ended up cumming in his eye. He was super shocked, but we ended up laughing it off and told all of our friends.
—nikkicoombs85
6. The baby bird eater.
I was getting head from a guy who, to say the least, was extremely adventurous in the bedroom. He insisted I cum in his mouth. After all was said and done, I let out a few audible sighs, only to end up with him “baby birding” my own cum into my mouth. He literally fed it to me. He thought it was hot, but I was horrified.
7. The accidental sneeze.
I was giving my high school boyfriend a blow job. When he came I sneezed, and it all flew out of my nose in one long string. Two inches of cum and snot just dangled from my nose. Out of habit, I sniffed like I had a runny nose and it zipped back up into my nostril. We were in hysterics.
—amazingrando
8. The hips don’t lie.
Once a guy was going down on me, and as I was cumming I moved my hips up and broke his nose. He finished like a champ though.
—lillyerinm
9. The urine fountain.
When my husband and I got engaged I gave him oral. He orgasmed and came, and then I just continued to give him head anyway. He thought he was going to cum again but he ended up peeing in my mouth. He was mortified and thought I was going to call the engagement off, but we’ve been happily married for four years.
—hildaa3
10. The bloody hymen.
I was eating out my girlfriend and she eventually pulled away. There was a huge red stain around my mouth and chin, and we figured out that I broke her hymen while pleasuring her. The weird part is I didn’t even taste the blood until she pointed it out.
—umgabbie
11. The weave snatcher.
I was going down on this guy, and all of the sudden, he grabbed my hair and moaned. When he grabbed my hair, he pulled out part of my weave! He looked at his hand and started to say “What’s this?” but I quickly snatched it out of his hand and ran into the bathroom.
—s489d5e99d
12. The potty mouth.
My best friend’s boyfriend was going down on her and he unfortunately ended up with toilet paper remnants in his mouth because she didn’t clean herself properly.
—j45b2f6094
13. The pussy licker.
This girl and I were having sex, and we swapped places so I could go down on her. She was on the couch, and I was on my knees. Her cat wandered by as I was giving her head and it started to licked my junk. It was… interesting.
—gylesw
14. The lost labia.
I was in reverse cowgirl position one night, and the guy decided to pick me up and pull me backwards to his face so he could perform oral. Unfortunately for me, my foot slipped off the bed and my nether regions fell directly onto his face. After my vagina fell onto his face, there were two massive pools of blood and a huge chunk of my labia missing. It was the worst night ever.
—KVB
15. The brace face embrace.
I had braces with little hooks on the sides of my teeth. My boyfriend at the time roughly put his member in, and when he pulled it out, it got stuck on my braces. I tore out a two-centimeter strip of dick and it bled nonstop, as if someone had just been slaughtered.
—Irene van der Wolf, Facebook
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Anal adventures
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Posted:Jan 31, 2016 3:42 am
Last Updated:Feb 20, 2016 9:23 am
24461 Views
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I'm truly digging my bf, he's attentive, caring, chiseled, long and thick. However, he doesn't do anal. He's been upfront about this, he has a thing where his cock goes limp when it goes near an asshole. Like a good boyfriend, he hooks me up with a friend who loves anal. We had dinner together and hit it off.
Needless to say I enjoyed some MMF last night, and my BF did just fine fucking my pussy while my ass was unloaded on
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8
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Lana Del Rey
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Posted:Jan 28, 2016 5:09 pm
Last Updated:Feb 2, 2016 8:09 pm
23993 Views
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On a suggestion from a friend I started to listen to Lana del Rey's music:
"Gods and Monsters"
In the land of gods and monsters
I was an angel, lookin' to get fucked hard
Like a groupie incognito posing as a real singer
Life imitates art
You got that medicine I need
Dope, shoot it up straight to the heart please
I don't really wanna know what's good for me
God's dead, I said 'baby that's alright with me'
No one's gonna take my soul away
Living like Jim Morrison
Headed towards a fucked up holiday
Motel, sprees, sprees, and I'm singing
Fuck yeah give it to me, this is heaven, what I truly want
It's innocence lost
Innocence lost
"National Anthem"
I sing the National Anthem,
While I'm standing over your body hold you like a python
And you can't keep your hands off me, or your pants on
See what you've done to me give me Chevron
You said to "be cool" but, I'm already coolest
I said to "get real, don't you know who you're dealing with?"
Um, do you think you'll buy me lots of diamonds
Tell me I'm your National Anthem (Ooh yeah baby bow down, makin' me so wild now)
Tell me I'm your National Anthem (Sugar sugar, how now, take your body downtown)
Red, white, blue's in the skies, summer's in the air and baby, heaven's in your eyes
I'm your National Anthem
"Cola"
My pussy tastes like Pepsi Cola
My eyes are wide like cherry pies
I got sweet taste for men who're older
It's always been so it's no surprise
Harvey's in the sky with diamonds
And it's making me crazy
All he wants to do is party with his pretty baby
Come on baby, let's ride
We can escape to the great sunshine
I know your wife and she wouldn't mind
We made it out to the other side
We made it out to the other side
We made it out to the other side
Come on come on come on come on come on baby
Whoa ah yeah
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3
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Life's tough...
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Posted:Jan 28, 2016 10:03 am
Last Updated:Apr 28, 2024 10:39 pm
23037 Views
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Left Friday before the storm to Palm Springs for a conference. Oh, little ole innocent me, surrounded by hundreds of well-dressed investment bankers 😈
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Public fun
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Posted:Jan 9, 2016 4:30 pm
Last Updated:Jan 16, 2016 8:38 pm
25925 Views
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What's everyone's view on public fun. Went on a date last night with a new friend, which started off with dinner . Over dinner, he admired the lack of panty line on my dress and I told him there were no panties. In plain view of the other diners, he spent a good hour fingering me, then feeding me my own juices.
Dancing followed, with mostly entailed me grinding on his crotch, followed by him tipping the coat check $100 so I could blow him in private. He then quickly collapsed the rear two rows in his SUV so that we had plenty of room to fuck in a quiet corner of the parking lot.
Did I mention that I love waking up in the morning with a limp...
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4
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A belated Christmas present
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Posted:Jan 4, 2016 11:49 am
Last Updated:Jan 25, 2016 7:27 pm
23684 Views
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Happy new year peeps, thought I'd sent you a pic of me before a week of tanning in the Caribbean
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4
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Minnesota Horniness
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Posted:Dec 28, 2015 10:01 am
Last Updated:Jan 1, 2016 5:42 pm
19949 Views
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As I'm waiting for a flight back to NY en route to the Caribbean, a quick recap for you pervs.
As most of my Minny friends are from my college days when I was almost as slutty as I am now, we all knew there would be fun to have. It actually was fairly tame until Sunday when we headed to the Vikes game. As an aside, how northerners handle sub freezing temps-lots and lots of whiskey.
The game was at 830 and a group of 12 of us headed to tailgate at 5. Of the other 7 guys and three gals, there was only one I had not been intimately involved with before. One friend brought his RV which was perfect, as no one wanted to end up on Deadspin. Question-what do we call a selfie while sucking cock-a fluffie?
Also, definition of weird-when your mom (who is fully aware of my extra-curricular activities) sees me stumble in with a limp and tells me "it amazes my that my was ridden more tonight than American Pharoah"
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5
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Last annoying email post of the year
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Posted:Dec 25, 2015 12:32 pm
Last Updated:Jan 5, 2016 6:58 pm
15590 Views
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This cracks me up:
1) Guy emails me telling from Virginia, but not to worry about location, as he's moving to Bristol, CT. Waiting for him to tell me it's only 4 inches on the map!
2) Oddly I've been getting a lot of emails with really fake photos. Guys, if you're going to fake your photographs, try not to use Clooney or Craig.
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To link to this blog (realsweetness) use [blog realsweetness] in your messages.
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