Embracing a Misogynist
|
Posted:Nov 13, 2016 5:03 am
Last Updated:Nov 28, 2016 7:45 am
62557 Views
|
In recent years, many Americans have called for a reckoning of famous men publicly accused of misogyny — the verbal kind, violent kind, or both. While 2014 was declared perhaps “the best year for women since the dawn of time,” 2016 brought the moment for more women to speak up.
The 2016 presidential campaign was caught up in that moment. President-elect Trump was accused of grabbing women’s breasts, reaching under their skirts, pinning and kissing them without consent, walking in on them changing, and more. The media resurfaced lewd comments he made to Howard Stern and Billy Bush.
Democrats and Republicans condemned Trump’s words; after the leak of his 2005 “grab them by the pussy” brag to Bush, Republican National Committee chairman Reince Priebus said “no woman should ever be described in these terms or talked about in this manner. Ever.” Democrats hoped the tape would be the end of Trump. The day of its release, Senator Elizabeth Warren of Massachusetts called Trump a “selfish little sleazeball, a man who will never be president of the United States” — and she was just talking about his taxes. But in spite of these lewd acts, Trump won.
Public displays of sexism spurred by Trump's win have become more evident particularly on college campuses. On Wednesday at Wellesley College, two men drove through campus in a black pickup truck waving a Trump flag, allegedly harassing and spitting at women of color, according to students and faculty.
Donald Trump’s election has emboldened this behavior; if people voted for him knowing he sexually harassed and assaulted women and he was still elected, why should these men be held accountable for their actions?
So, how did a country that seemed intent on holding prominent men accountable for sexism elect a man so widely condemned as a sexist? The next question: How will women get through the coming four years?
I think people don’t want to necessarily admit that we still live in a very sexist society. Just because we’re having a conversation about sexism doesn’t mean attitudes have changed.
|
|
|
16
Comments
|
|
When Life Hands You Lemons
|
Posted:Oct 23, 2016 7:14 am
Last Updated:Nov 4, 2016 6:29 pm
64444 Views
|
"When life gets tough, the tough get going.”
This timeless proverb may be true for some but, for others, hardship can be too much to overcome. When the going gets tough, their life simply falls apart. What is it exactly that separates those who thrive regardless of adversity and those who don’t? Is it genetics, luck, or pure willpower?
Consider that Nelson Mandela spent 27 years in prison before he became the first democratically elected president in South Africa. Abraham Lincoln failed in business, had a nervous breakdown, and was defeated eight times in elections before becoming president. A boy born to a teenage alcoholic and an absentee father found himself in trouble throughout his childhood, eventually grew up to be Charles Manson.
These examples are extreme, but they demonstrate the different routes people may choose when facing major obstacles. Some people turn to alcohol and drugs, stealing, or physical violence. Nearly 16,000 people drank themselves to death in 2010. Every year, more than 3 million will witness domestic violence in their home. (Via Psych Central) Conversely, many people have gone through hell and back and are moral, happy, and successful. As a therapist that works with with PTSD, it’s my job to find the turning point between the right path and the wrong one.
In my own life I dealt with hardship and failure. My family was poor. I had to cope with family members struggling with addiction, mental illness, and domestic violence; two of my family members died of drug overdoses. My great grandmother was a nurse and I thought I would follow in her footsteps. After attempting to go to school for nursing, I realized that I was not cut out for it. I felt like I had failed.
My first marriage was plagued with domestic violence due to an alcoholic husband. I was challenged significantly as a single parent when I enrolled in my Master's program at the age of 37 and my classmates were all 10-12 years younger.
Despite all these trials, life marched on and turned out positive. I earned my MSW, my self-employed private practice is thriving and in spite of the adversity I experienced during my former marriage causing me to swear off marriage, I am open to the idea of finding love again.
Why was I able to overcome the negative parts of my life when others from similar backgrounds have ended up addicted to substances or in jail? The simple answer is that I had enough protective factors in my life to outweigh my risk factors. For instance:
The neighborhood I grew up in was safe.
I was always supported by people who loved me.
I had pro-social role models.
I did well in school and had opportunities to succeed.
There were many positive events in my life.
I kept going, one foot after the other, no matter what.
It’s true that some of our ability to manage hardships and failure has to do with biological traits and genetics. Some of it may have to do with luck. But mostly it has to do with the environment and people around us. Our parents, siblings, peers, educators, and community all play a vital role in shaping who we become. Life is tough and we all have our own challenges to face.
How do you overcome challenges in your life? Please share your feedback below.
|
|
|
11
Comments
|
|
This Could Only Happen In Kansas
|
Posted:Sep 30, 2016 4:48 am
Last Updated:Nov 4, 2016 6:31 pm
61050 Views
|
I meant to blog about this yesterday but got busy.
Two nights ago my puppy woke me up whimpering to go out at 2:30AM. This is not an unusual occurrence. So, here I am wearing my slinky nightie (sans panties) walking her out to the backyard to do her business. It should be noted for those that aren't aware, the land directly behind my backyard is a protected wildlife/wooded area.
As she's going, I can hear an owl hooting off in the distance. There is low light barely illuminating the yard from the side porch but I become increasingly aware of a rustling sound in the trees near where we are and suddenly the hooting sounds get increasingly louder.
I begin walking my pup back to the house when suddenly, the owl swoops out of nowhere loudly hooting and coming within inches of my head as though it were stalking my pup as its prey.
I grab the pup and take off in a full-on sprint racing to get into the house as fast as possible, my heart feeling as though it is about to explode right out of my chest.
It seems this owl had an agenda and that agenda was to get my puppy. Absolutely terrifying experience.
I had to face my fear once again last night. Thankfully when I took her out there was no sign of the owl that terrorized me the night before.
I have to think, only something like this could happen in Kansas. Have you ever heard of such a thing?
|
|
|
23
Comments
|
|
My New Obsession
|
Posted:Sep 23, 2016 12:07 pm
Last Updated:Jul 4, 2017 1:59 pm
55060 Views
|
I have a new obsession (besides my new puppy) that is filling a void for sex. Can you guess what it is? No, it's not masturbation.
Do you find yourself gravitating to other things (like food) when you aren't having sex regularly?
(see comments for answer)
|
|
|
22
Comments
|
|
Homecoming
|
Posted:Sep 10, 2016 4:49 pm
Last Updated:Jun 3, 2017 10:23 pm
55314 Views
|
Today I brought my therapy home. She is definitely a good lapdog. She has this uncanny knack for falling asleep in my lap. And she makes a cute little snoring sound. My took this photo about 10 minutes ago. Roxy is still laying in the same place as we speak. How is your weekend? Mine is going well so far.
Xoxo,
Myelin
|
|
|
16
Comments
|
|
Chicago, Here I Cum!
|
Posted:Sep 1, 2016 3:48 pm
Last Updated:Sep 29, 2016 6:55 pm
53562 Views
|
I am heading to Chicago for a long weekend. I am looking forward to spending time with one of my blogging friends while I am there.
What plans do you have for the weekend? Will it include sex?! I sure hope my weekend does! 
XOXO,
{=} myelin
|
|
|
15
Comments
|
|
Body Shaming: Should Offenders Face Charges?
|
Posted:Aug 27, 2016 7:11 am
Last Updated:Sep 16, 2016 6:37 pm
54946 Views
|
Last month, Playboy model Dani Mathers secretly took a picture of a naked woman from an LA Fitness locker room. She then posted it to her Snapchat with a highly inappropriate body-shaming comment: "If I can't unsee this, you can't either".
Like most gyms, LA Fitness prohibits the use of cell phones and photography in their locker rooms, so it's no surprise that the Snapchat got Ms. Mathers banned from all LA Fitness gyms. A statement from the company to the L.A. Times calls her behavior "appalling...[it] puts every member at risk of losing their privacy."
Her behavior is appalling & puts members @ risk. We ended membership & she can't use any club. It’s not just our rule, it's common decency.— LA Fitness (@LAFitness) July 15, 2016.
She also lost her job at a local radio station over the incident, and a petition on Change.org has received over 25,000 signatures asking the LAPD to take legal action against Mathers—and on a strong basis. The petition draws attention to a U.S. Code that calls for a fine or arrest of an individual who "has the intent to capture an image of a private area of an individual without their consent, and knowingly does so under circumstances in which the individual has a reasonable expectation of privacy."
It's clear that Mathers' actions were extremely distasteful, but they're also illegal. In an attempt to soothe the situation, Ms. Mathers took to Snapchat to issue a public apology and own up to her mistake. "That was absolutely wrong and not what I meant to do...I know that body-shaming is wrong. That's not the type of person I am." In the video series, she insisted that she meant to send the photo to a friend and only posted it publicly as an honest mistake—but the public has questioned her sincerity.
Though the identity of the victimized woman is still unknown, it's needless to say that Mathers violated her privacy and broke the law doing so. Regardless of her intent, body-shaming—whether it's done privately, between friends, or on social media—supports oppressive attitudes that punish women for their appearance. And that's never okay.
What are your thoughts on this? What would you do if you were the "unnamed person" in the photograph Ms. Mathers captured and posted to her social media account?
|
|
|
23
Comments
|
|
Happy Women's Equality Day
|
Posted:Aug 26, 2016 11:48 am
Last Updated:Aug 29, 2016 6:56 am
43904 Views
|
And no I am not a feminist. I just felt it very appropriate given the change in climate around here. It looks kinda peaceful. Maybe I might return to blogging again.
Have a good weekend.
xoxo,
myelin
|
|
|
9
Comments
|
|
Update
|
Posted:Aug 8, 2016 2:22 pm
Last Updated:Aug 19, 2016 12:19 pm
46707 Views
|
This is an update to my former post Getting My Mojo Back. I was on the road at 0630 this morning for the one way hour and 45 minute trip to Topeka for my hearing. I got there 30 minutes early and visited with my attorney and felt fully prepared to testify.
We headed upstairs to the room, signed in and waited for them to read the cases being heard on the docket. Our case number was read and then the committee said a unanimous "no." WTF did that mean? After the cases were read, the secretary looked up and said to my lawyer, "you can go. Your case was dismissed."
My attorney ushered me out of the room. In a low voice he whispered, "I have never had a case be dismissed in all the cases I've defended." We did a good job convincing them in our pre trial brief that you were not at fault.
And so it is. Case was dismissed and unfounded.
A good day indeed.
Thanks for all of your kind words of encouragement and support. It meant a lot to me.
XOXO,
myelin
|
|
|
18
Comments
|
|
Getting My Mojo Back
|
Posted:Aug 6, 2016 2:25 pm
Last Updated:Aug 19, 2016 12:20 pm
45802 Views
|
My mojo is slowly starting to return. It's been three weeks full of ups and downs. With all of the stress, I ended up losing 8 pounds and putting in some crazy mileage on the elliptical, treadmill and daily walks to stay centered and grounded. My libido has tanked as well. It's been nearly two months since my last sexual liaison. If course I've had opportunities but truthfully, I wasn't feeling it.
I have one last hurdle to accomplish on Monday and that is the probably the biggest stressor I have at the moment.
Those of you who read my blog way back in January might remember a rather vindictive non-custodial parent who was upset with a recommendation I made to the Guardian ad Litem about a custody dispute. It culminated in a complaint filed against me to the state licensing board. Well, that hearing goes to committee on Monday and guess who has to appear to discuss said issue with my attorney.
The good news is, I am very methodical and detail oriented with record-keeping. I feel confident that I will prevail and my attorney also seems to feel good about it.
This weekend has been pretty laid back. My and I love shopping at vintage and thrift stores. We scored some pretty good deals just in time for her to return to school.
It's been intermittently raining all day so I've been finding things to do indoors. I made a batch of fresh homemade salsa featuring roma tomatoes, fresh pineapple and peaches, chopped, diced garlic, cilantro, chipotle peppers in adobo sauce and a dash of salt. It turned out amazing and made a ton.
Another thing keeping me feeling positive is I am in the process of adopting a female English Bulldog puppy named Roxy that was born on June 23rd. I will be picking her up on September 10th. She is going to be trained to be a therapeutic for of mine that have PTSD and TBI.
Finally, I have two upcoming trips planned. I am heading to meet up with a blogger next weekend which I am excited about. Then labor day weekend my and I are taking the train back to Chicago for a long weekend.
Things are looking up.
xoxo,
{=}myelin
Here is a photo of my sweet Roxy. Hopefully the site doesn't take it down.
|
|
|
17
Comments
|
|
Melancholy
|
Posted:Jul 30, 2016 4:13 pm
Last Updated:Jul 31, 2016 6:13 pm
46490 Views
|
Miss Melancholy,
You're like a guest
who overstays their welcome
in my head
and in my heart.
You seem to keep me together
while ripping me apart.
Sometimes I think
that I will miss your presence.
But then I remember
I will not miss Miss Melancholy
because she revels in my suffering
and loves making me bleed
for reasons yet unclear to me.
“The Melancholy Passerine,” 51×45, oil on panel by Robert Liberace
|
|
|
6
Comments
|
|
On Love And Loss
|
Posted:Jul 24, 2016 6:59 am
Last Updated:Aug 11, 2016 4:02 am
49120 Views
|
One of the hardest lessons in life is letting go. Whether it be guilt, anger, love, loss or betrayal. Change is never easy. We fight to hold on and we fight to let go.
I think most would agree that the loss of a loved one is one of the greatest causes of suffering in life. Whether it’s the loss of a parent, close friend, significant other, or spouse, the stripping of someone we love and care about from our life is always hard, denuding a part of us that won’t ever be quite the same again. Time may dim the pain—and in some cases even remove it—but that lost relationship has left an indelible mark on us. In some mysterious way it’s helped form who we are today.
Things would be easier if we could wipe away the pain and suffering caused by loss, but then again, we would inevitably be bidding farewell to all of the beautiful and meaningful moments as well. It seems certain people cross paths with our lives to guide, love and nourish us. But then after a time, as we continue journeying through life, we lose their company and what remains are remnants of their memory.
Some losses like the slow fading of former friendships that only leave us feeling nostalgic, wondering occasionally how we could have been so close to someone we now barely know. Whereas others are tragic, from which the memory of the person—such as death of a spouse or —still causes sadness and pain even on our best days.
By keeping their memory alive, by remembering and honoring them with a life that reflects them and their lives of love and service, we are able to continue on in this one. The memory we have of them—despite the aching pain it may cause—allows us to continue to love them.
In our mourning and sorrow we are called on hope that isn’t contingent on our feelings or circumstances, but one that endures nonetheless. Coming back to that age-old question about having loved and lost, I can only think that people cross paths with us for a reason. And that is to help us grow and develop inner resiliency and reliance on faith. It is not to harden our heart to the possibility of future love.
Have you experienced love and loss? How did you cope?
|
|
|
16
Comments
|
|
To link to this blog (myelin36) use [blog myelin36] in your messages.
|
|
|
| Sun |
Mon |
Tue |
Wed |
Thu |
Fri |
Sat |
1
|
2
|
3
|
4
|
5
|
6
|
7
|
8
|
9
|
10
|
11
|
12
|
13
|
14
|
|
151
|
16
|
17
|
18
|
19
|
20
|
21
|
22
|
23
|
24
|
25
|
26
|
27
|
28
|
29
|
30
|
31
|
|
|
|
|
Most Recent Comments by Others
| For those of you wondering (33) | pat910123abc
Jun 26, 2020 8:45 pm |
| Snow is falling (11) | 08540Tantrafun
Dec 27, 2019 1:03 am |
| Can I Just Skip Today? (13) | ULIXBIG
Aug 9, 2019 4:40 pm |
| I told a Lie (37) | leftbehind62
Jun 28, 2019 1:49 pm |
| Random (41) | OldSoldier44
Jun 20, 2019 5:26 pm |
| Loser Email of the Day (36) | discreteSteve62
Aug 13, 2018 1:50 am |
| The Audacity of Some People! (50) | _IKanCu2_
Jul 10, 2018 10:31 pm |
| Ch Ch Ch..Changes (27) | 08540Tantrafun
Jun 19, 2018 5:43 pm |
| Therapist Heal Thyself (28) | sweetlips_03
Mar 21, 2018 4:47 pm |
| Greetings from Eureka Springs! (19) | topshelf69x2
Oct 17, 2017 9:11 pm |
| Fair Weather Friends (25) | workinPaNub
Aug 12, 2017 6:51 am |
|
