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Are you ready to quit?
Are you ready to learn?
Are you ready to find the spark inside and let it burn?
I'm the walls that close in
I'm the words you won't say
I'm the voices you choose to keep inside
And lock away
Everyday
****
I don't want to be flawless. When I go I want the cuts to show.
****
Passion. It lies in all of us, sleeping, waiting.
And though unwanted, unbidden, it will stir.
Open its jaws and howl.
It speaks to us, guides us, passion rules us all.
And we obey, what other choice do we have?
Passion is the source of our finest moments.
The joy of love, the clarity of hatred,
and the ecstacy of grief.
It hurts sometimes more than we can bear.
If we could live without passion,
maybe we'd know some kind of peace.
But we would be hollow.
Empty rooms, shuttered, dank.
Without passion, we'd be truly dead.
****
'Cause sometimes you just feel tired, you feel weak
And when you feel weak you feel like you want to just give up
But you gotta search within you, you gotta find that inner strength
And just pull that shit out of you and get that motivation to not give up
And not be a quitter, no matter how bad you want to just fall flat on your face and collapse
****
Music is like a tattoo,
and bands have to make music
where people are proud to wear your tattoo,
no matter what kind of music you like.
****
For some, music is not just a pastime,
It’s an undeniable fact of living,
A blissful slavery of mind, body and soul.
To rise above the ashes of mediocrity is rare,
Yet the gift of song is freely handed out to anyone who cares to receive it,
Instantly shattering our daily drudgery. The path to pursue more than the usual,
More than what is safe and known,
Is wrought with time-sharpened jagged blade s that cut deep,
Blocking many from the road to something greater,
Beyond the stunted imagination of their peers. Within the veins of the few,
Passion fills every sinew with a sweet unquenchable purpose,
Calming the fear of those treacherous paths,
Though every slice burns and bleeds,
Still they take each cut
And wear the scars with pride to signal their choice,
That undying pursuit of greater joy within every cord.
And so they say – Watch me bleed
****
When life knocks you down..calmly get back up, smile, and very politely, say, "You hit like a bitch."
****
I’ll never show you my cards, I won’t be playing a hand worth bluffing. But when you’re running with me, you won’t be wondering why you’ve fallen.
****
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3 min of hot water, yeah thanks
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Posted:Jan 17, 2017 5:59 pm
Last Updated:Jan 17, 2017 6:10 pm
6800 Views
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So we've had problems with our water heater for months now and instead of just getting a new one our landlord keeps sending his one guy up like 4 nights a week to work on it (I'm talking for months this guy has been coming up), which is a pain cause we have no water from like 9 pm. I don't usually get home till after 530 pm, which doesn't leave me much time if I need to use it. This past weekend it must've went altogether cause we had no hot water at all.
On Monday I had enough for the quickest shower ever. I only got to shave 1 armpit cause the water turned on the verge of ice cold . If it was summer I might be able to deal, but not in friggin cold winter. Tonight I got to shower, get the shampoo in my hair and am shaving my other armpit when guess what? It turns almost ice cold.I wasn't even in there 3 min.
So the guy was here early, he was gonna run to Home Depot to get a part, but he called the landlord and he told him no. But in the mean time I had to rinse my hair in cold water and am sitting here in a towel cause I didn't get to wash anything, plus I still need to condition my hair. He's gonna try to turn the hot temp up so I can finish and I could understand if I was in there a half hr, but 3 min is ridiculous!
This landlord is an idiot. All the money he's been paying his guy to come up and he could've spent prob a quarter of it on a new water heater. Ugh!!! (and I know First World problems and all that, but we rent so seriously he shouldn't even be collecting full rent from us)
Update: I finished my shower, so yay. But I had the hot water tap turned all the way up, no cold water on and it was lukewarm. As I was rinsing off, it turned cold again. so like 6 min total between attempt 1 and 2. That is ridiculous.
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Neverwake and Failure Anthem 9/2/16
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Posted:Jan 14, 2017 5:56 pm
Last Updated:Jan 14, 2017 5:58 pm
6139 Views
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I guess I'm going out of order cause I thought I already wrote about the 9/2/16 show Neverwake and Failue Anthem.
I had met a guy on ok cupid (different from the Sick Puppies guy) he lives in Greensburg. He said he'd be up for going, he had to work though and instead of backtracking to get me and then going to Pitt I just took the greyhound and grabbed some dinner while waiting for him then he picked me up. We did miss the first band, but there were 4 and I was mainly interested in Neverwake - 3rd band and Failure Anthem - 4th.
The guy and I were standing in the back at the bar (this is the same place that I went to the first show with J - ex fwb). I kept seeing Johnny the lead singer of Neverwake walk back and forth but didn't want to bug him cause he looked busy. Justin, the guitarist came up and said hey at 1 point though.
So when Neverwake is about to come on we go up to the left, my usual spot for Neverwake shows and right before they were gonna start Johnny looks over at me and says into the mic "hey Ashley" and waves. I was like omg on the inside. lmao I know I'm just a casual friend to him that he sees at shows but that he did that meant a lot to me. He only does that to people that are important to him IE: he doesn't do it often that I've seen. He also told me after the show he saw my name on the will call list and was wondering if I was there.
I also had mentioned to Justin the guitarist that I was bummed cause I missed a prior show and I saw they played Thriller (cover) and Winds of Change which is like my 2nd fave song of theirs which I never saw them play before.
They played both! (After the show I talked to them both and Justin said he told Johnny they had to play it cause I wanted to see it. Awww)
Before Neverwake came on I told the guy I was with that I guarantee that most of the people were there to see Neverwake and he said nah they're there for the main band Failure Anthem (after Neverwake got off the stage over half the crowd left lmao)
Then Failure Anthem came on and I switched to the right side. It was less crowded.
They also played songs they never play and my fave 3 of their's. I was singing along and taking pics and vids.
After the show I went to the merch table and I had 2 shirts of theirs and they didn't have anything new. They did have a drumhead for sale for $50 but I really couldn't pay that. I was talking to the one guitarist and he ended up letting me have it for $35 and all 5 of them signed it. Plus they got everyone together (a couple were upstairs) so I could get a group pic.They actually took 3. lol
Also before the pic I was saying how I'd caught them in April and they had a different lead singer. The guitarist said he saw me singing along, not many people even knew who they were there. The former lead singer apparently wasn't that great of a guy, but when I met him he was nice. Oh well.
The guy took me home, I was falling asleep. It was fun. I haven't seen the guy since, but we may be catching a show next month.
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Sick Puppies show 9/18/16
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Posted:Jan 14, 2017 5:21 pm
Last Updated:Jan 29, 2017 3:53 pm
6118 Views
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So there was a show that I was trying so had to get to. Sick Puppies in Pitt on 9/18/16. I was actually supposed to go see them and many other bands in West Chester literally that weekend with the FWB that last time I saw him was my bday. When he said we weren't gonna be able to go I started trying to go see Sick Puppies at least.
I literally tried everyone and no one wanted to go, then I mentioned it to a guy who lives in Pitt I had been talking to on ok cupid off and on. He said he'd go and I could stay at his place. Problem was he doesn't have a car cause he can take the bus everywhere so I would have to come up the night before, stay at his place then go to the show the next night, stay another night then go home. At this point I was desparate.
So I went up Sat night, met him at the greyhound, we took a bus back to his place and chilled for the rest of the night. Nothing sexual happened. He's a nice guy but he is so skinny, like I am probably 3 of him. I just would feel so awkward. But we talked and watched tv. I didn't get much sleep cause he had fleas cause his brother had stayed with him with his recently and the had fleas. He has told me since then he did get rid of them. But between those, did I mention his mattress was on the floor and he mainly sleeps on the couch in his room, and his ferret he lets run loose all the time and she would bite my feet while I was sleeping, yeah I didnt get much. Plus I never sleep that well not in my bed.
His room was a mess too. Like clothes everywhere and because the ferret is loose she poops wherever. Yeah I stepped in it a couple times, ugh. He lives with 2 roommates and none of them are clean. The bathroom was nasty too. I mean I'm not a neatfreak but that bathroom looked like it hadn't a scrubbing in a loooong time. I felt so dirty there.
Anyway, so the day of the show we missed the bus cause we were gonna get down there early and grab dinner somewhere, so instead we went to Dave and Buster's. It was pouring down rain and while we were walking to the bus stop the first time another bus came by and splahed water soaking me from the waist down. Then when we ran for the bus he was holding the umbrella and left me behind, so I wasn't feeling too great. My jacket was soaked. Thank God I was wearing sandals so I didn't have soaked socks to deal with.
We caught the next bus and I got to the venue in plenty of time. I was going to buy a M&G/acoustic before session but something told me not to and it's a good thing I didn't cause I would've missed it all.
There was 3 opening acts. The first one was alright but they need some more fine tuning. The 2nd was pretty good. I was gonna buy their cd, but I had limited cash and wanted to buy a Sick Puppies shirt and the 3rd opening band's cd.
The 3rd opening band was called Through Fire. I had checked them out online and I liked them. They put on a great show.
I got a pic with the lead singer after their set
after the full show before I left I managed to snag a pic with the drummer too
So then Sick Puppies came on. I was 2nd row and it was awesome. They have so much energy. There's only 3 of them and 1 is the drummer, but the other 2 were all over the stage. They played so many of my fave songs of theirs which I was surprised.
I was videoing like crazy (the tube same name)
The guy ended up not coming with me to the show so he was at a bar nearby. He had texted me when Sick Puppies were on saying we'd have to leave in about 45 min to catch the last bus and they had only been on a half hr so I was like fuck.
Luckily they played a half hr more an then because there wasn't many people there, they came out and took pics at their merch booth. So I didn't really get to talk to them beyond saying awesome show, but I was so happy I got a pic with them.
We walk like 45 min to the bus stop, it was a longass way away cause by that time most buses had stopped (it was like midnight when I left) but we ended up still having to wait like 15 min for the bus when we got there. I was so thirsty and there was a place open but we were afraid if I stopped I'd miss the bus.
Another sleepless night, had to leave early to catch the 10:30 greyhound home. We did stop at a bagel place to grab breakfast. Their bagels are so good and I ended up getting a dozen to take home. I didnt even know they were there, like a 5 min walk from greyhound.
I was so happy to be home and clean. I actually cleaned our toilet that's how bad it was at his place. lol
I even had texted my friend on Sun morning if there was any way she could come get me after the show if I'd give her gas cause I couldn't take it, but she wasn't able to make the trip.
But I still would do it again because I had a kickass time. Concerts do that to me. Eveything else doesnt matter.
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Labyrinth 30th Anniversary showing 9/11/16
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Posted:Jan 14, 2017 4:43 pm
Last Updated:Jan 15, 2017 7:58 pm
5317 Views
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My fave movie is Labyrinth, the 1986 one with David Bowie. It came out the year I was born so I've never seen it in theaters. I don't remember the exact age I was when I started liking it. I was young, probably around 10. I do remember vaguely that I watched it once (probably around 8 or 9) and just didn't get it. Then a couple years later, so maybe like 11 ish actually, I rewatched it (both times I had rented the vhs from a rental store - showing my age there lol) and that was when it caught me. But I don't think it was my fave movie yet, I just liked it. I can't remember when that actually changed to favorite. Probably in my teens when I was able to actually really appreciate it.
So anyway, even then I didn't collect things about the movie like I do with my fave band Hanson. It was just the movie. That actually just changed in the past couple years where I've starting wanting more. I guess since it was an old movie it really didn't dawn on me that there was movie merch I could get. Stuff has been made newer though.
I actually just bought the book recently. I haven't read it yet, but I did skim some of my fave scenes and it is pretty close to the close, even the dialogue. What's different is you can she what Jareth is thinking, cause in the movie he's pretty closed up and mysterious.
I also actually just got one of those POP figures of Jareth for Christmas from my 1 friend.
Anyways, so that's the backstory. I don't even know why I like it so much. I wasn't a big Bowie fan or anything, I like him but not like OMG I LOVE EVEYTHING BOWIE. It's not a vampire movie. I don't even like goblins much. lol But there is magic in this movie.
So in early August it was announced they were bringing the movie to certain theaters for 30th Anniversary showing only 2 days in Sep. Closest theater to me showing it was almost hour and a half away so I knew I wasn't gonna be able to go. Normally I'd have my one friend who doesn't mind driving, but she was having car troubles with her van and so I just posted on FB and moved on, resigned that I wouldnt be able to go.
So then around my bday Aug 24 she asked me if I'd like my bday gift from her to be taking me to see the movie, she'd pay for gas and my ticket. I was like are you sure, with you van? Her dad's a mechanic and she'd talked it over with him. He said she should be fine to go.
So on Sep 11 I got to see Labyrinth for the first time in theater. It was so awesome and there was a good bit of people there.
I had to get a pic of me with the movie poster
actually I got multiple
Then before the movie they were playing screens with questions about the movie. I got all but like 2 right. My friend was surprised cause some were behind the scenes stuff.
Here's an example
Yes I'm a nerd and took pics.
It was so awesome. I had a blast.
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Random jokes
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Posted:Dec 31, 2016 11:44 am
Last Updated:May 4, 2024 6:58 am
5368 Views
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A guy goes into a tattoo parlor and asks for a tattoo of a $100 bill on his penis.
Curious, the tattoo artist asks him why he would possibly want that.
"Three reasons: I like to play with my money, I like to watch my money grow, and a hundred dollars seems to be the only thing my wife will blow these days."
****
A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, right up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, "I would like to buy some cyanide."
The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?"
The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband."
The pharmacists eyes got big and he exclaimed, "Lord have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband! That's against the law! I'll lose my license! They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!"
The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.
The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well now. That's different. You didn't tell me you had a prescription."
***
A very tall man walks into a bar, and a lady recognizes him as a basketball player. They start to talk, and eventually, go back to his place. They start to kiss, and the man takes off his shirt. On his arm, he has a tattoo that says REEBOK.
'What's that?' the lady questions.
'Oh, I have this so that when I'm on TV, people will see my tattoo, and Reebok pays me.' Then the man takes off his pants,... and on his leg, he has a tattoo that says NIKE.
'What's that?' the lady questions again.
'Just like the Reebok tattoo, I get paid when this tattoo is seen on TV.
Then the man drops his underwear and on his penis he has a tattoo that says AIDS.
'You didn't tell me you had AIDS!' the lady screams.
'No, no! Calm down,' the man replies. 'This will say ADIDAS in a minute.......
****
A wife arrived home after a long shopping trip, and was horrified to find her husband in bed with a young, lovely thing.
Just as she was about to storm out of the house, her husband stopped her with these words: "Before you leave, I want you to hear how this all came about. Driving home, I saw this young girl, looking poor and tired, I offered her a ride. She was hungry, so I brought her home and fed her some of the roast you had forgotten about in the refrigerator."
Her shoes were worn out so I gave her a pair of your shoes you didn’t wear because they were out of style.
She was cold so I gave her that new birthday sweater you never wore even once because the color didn’t suit you.
Her slacks were worn out so I gave her a pair of yours that you don’t fit into anymore.
Then as she was about to leave the house, she paused and asked, "Is there anything else that your wife doesn’t use anymore?"
"And so, here we are!"
****
.........................The Excuse..............................................
A 55 year old man bought a new BMW, and while out driving around one day, began to feel the awesome power and speed of the car. Before he realized it, he was doing 90 mph and lights begin to flash in his rear view mirror.
The man floored it, thinking the cop would never keep up. Soon he was doing 150 mph. Just then he realized that the cop could easily call for back up and block the road ahead, so he decided to pull over.
As you can imagine, the cop was fuming. He told the man, "Look, it's Friday and I'm at the end of my shift. If you can give me a good excuse that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."
The man thought for a moment and responded to the cop. "O.K. Look. A couple of weeks ago, my wife ran off with a police officer, and when I saw the lights, I thought it was him trying to return her."
****
A young woman, with a baby in her arms, entered a butcher shop and confronted the butcher with the news that the baby was his and asked what he was going to do about it?
He said he'd offer to provide her with free meat until the boy was 18. She agreed.
The butcher had been counting the years off on his calendar, and one day the who had been collecting the meat each week, came into the shop and said, "I'll be 18 tomorrow."
"I know," said the butcher with a smile, "I've been counting too, tell your mother, when you take this parcel of meat home, that it is the last free meat she'll get, and watch the expression on her face."
When the boy arrived home he told his mother.
The woman nodded and said, ", go back to the butcher and tell him I have also had free bread, free milk, and free groceries for the last 18 years and watch the expression on his face!!
*****
Impotence: Nature’s way of saying “No hard feelings”.
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Christmas jokes
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Posted:Dec 25, 2016 10:07 pm
Last Updated:May 4, 2024 6:58 am
5342 Views
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According to the Alaskan Department of Fish and game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid December. Female reindeer retain their antlers 'till after they give birth in the spring.
Therefore, according to every historical rendition depicting Santa's reindeer, every single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen had to be a girl.
We should've known! Only women would be able to drag a fat man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night, and NOT GET LOST.
****
What do priests and Christmas trees have in common?
Their balls are purely ornamental.
***
My boss told me it was Christmas time and I needed to get into the "Spirit"
I replied as long as it was above 28.5% I would.
****
When four of Santa’s elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the pre-Christmas pressure.
Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her Mother was coming to visit, which stressed Santa even more.
When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two others had jumped the fence and were out, Heaven knows where.
Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the floorboards cracked, the toy bag fell to the ground and all the toys were scattered.
Frustrated, Santa went in the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered the elves had drunk all the cider and hidden the liquor.
In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider jug, and it broke into hundreds of little glass pieces all over the kitchen floor.
He went to get the broom and found the mice had eaten all the straw off the end of the broom.
Just then the doorbell rang, and an irritated Santa marched to the door, yanked it open, and there stood a little angel with a great big Christmas tree.
The angel said very cheerfully, “Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn’t this a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?”
And thus began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays everybody!
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Seniors Jokes
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Posted:Dec 24, 2016 2:46 pm
Last Updated:May 4, 2024 6:58 am
5446 Views
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Just some funnies I've found along the way -
A DEA Agent stopped at a ranch in Texas and talked to an old rancher. He told the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs." The rancher said, "okay, but don't go into that field over there...", as he pointed out the location. The DEA Agent verbally exploded and said, "look mister, I have the authority of the federal government with me!" Reaching into his rear back pocket, the arrogant officer removed his badge and proudly displayed it to the rancher. "See this badge?! This badge means I can go wherever I want... On any land! No questions asked, no answers given! Do you understand old man?!"
The rancher kindly nodded, apologized, and went about his chores. Moments later the rancher heard loud screams, he looked up and saw the DEA agent running for his life, being chased by the ranchers big Santa Gertrudis Bull...... With every step the bull was gaining ground on the officer, and it was likely that he'd sure enough get gored before he reached safety. The officer was clearly terrified. The old rancher threw down his tools, ran as fast as he could to the fence, and yelled at the top of his lungs......
"YOUR BADGE! SHOW HIM YOUR BADGE!"
*******
An old man went to the social security office to sign up.
He had stood in the line for a very long time until it was finally his turn. The lady behind the counter ask him for identification. He went to get his wallet out of his back pocket and realized he had left it at home. The lady told him that was alright he could just show her his chest hairs and if they were grey she knew he was old enough for social security.
After everything was done there he went home and told his wife how his day went. He told her that he had forgotten his wallet at home and the lady at the social security office just ask him to pull down the front of his shirt and she could tell he was old enough.
After listening to his story his wife told him if he had dropped his pants he probably could have gotten disability too.
**********
There's nothing worse than a Doctor's Receptionist who insists you tell her what is wrong with you in a room full of other patients.
I know most of us have experienced this, and I love the way this old guy handled it.
A 65-year-old man walked into a crowded waiting room & went the desk.
The Receptionist said, 'Yes sir, what are you seeing the Doctor for today?'
'There's something wrong with my dick', he replied.
The receptionist became irritated and said, 'You shouldn't come into a crowded waiting room and say things like that. '
'Why not, you asked me what was wrong and I told you,' he said.
The Receptionist replied; 'Now you've caused some embarrassment in this room full of people. You should have said there is something wrong with your ear and discussed the problem further with the Doctor in private.'
The man replied, 'You shouldn't ask people questions in a roomful of strangers, if the answer could embarrass anyone. The man walked out, waited several minutes, and then re-entered.
The Receptionist smiled smugly and asked, 'Yes??'
'There's something wrong with my ear,' he stated.
The Receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her advice.. 'And what is wrong with your ear, Sir?'
'I can't piss out of it,' he replied.
The waiting room erupted in laughter...
Mess with seniors and you're going to lose!!
*********
Got my gun permit yesterday, then went over to the local gun shop to get a small 9mm for home protection.
When I was ready to pay by credit card for the gun and bullets, the cashier said, "Strip down, facing me."
Making a mental note to complain to the NRA about the gun control wackos running amok, I did as she had instructed.
When the hysterical shrieking and alarms subsided, I found out she was referring to how I should place my credit card in the card reader.
I've been asked to shop elsewhere in the future.
They need to make their instructions to seniors a little clearer.
*********
How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word? Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!
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2016 a bad year? Maybe for other people but not me!
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Posted:Dec 12, 2016 6:19 pm
Last Updated:Jan 11, 2017 4:35 pm
4808 Views
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Everyone's posting all these memes on FB how bad 2016 was for them but I actually had a good year. Met some great guys from NeverWake , saw them 4 times which is a lot for me to see 1 band in 1 year (besides Hanson lol) and also became friends with the lead singer and guitarist, got to meet Sick Puppies , got to see Sixx:A.M., Simple Plan, and Magic!, got to see Blake and Joey in Devour the Day who I'd originally met 9 years ago when they toured with Egypt Central. Found 2 new awesome bands through going to shows Failure Anthem and Through Fire . Saw my fave movie Labyrinth for its 30th anniversary showing in theaters, got a new devil cat Buffy. I'm sure there's more I'm just not thinking of right now, but it's been a pretty good year.
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The end of the summer FWB
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Posted:Dec 12, 2016 5:18 pm
Last Updated:May 4, 2024 6:58 am
4949 Views
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There were no more concerts with J, though with others yes and I'll write about them eventually. But after that 6/26/16 show he got busy with work, travelled literally all over the country and out of country. Even when he didn't have cell service he would try to shoot me an e-mail. Said how much he missed me, etc. I got to see him once in July for dinner and naked time. But then it was 8/24/16 before I saw him again. That was my 30th bday. We were both looking forward to it.
Then a couple hours before work was over and he was supposed to actually be leaving he sends me this foreboding text that something really bad had happened and that day was in his top 10 of worst days but if I wanted him to come still he would cause there was nothing he could do about what happened. But that he may not be the best company. I said if he felt that he still wanted to see me and that I wasn't forcing him that I really did still want to see him.
He picked me up from work and yep he definitely wasn't himself. He had to go get gas so we did that and he stopped for a smoke (which I'd never seen him do, he said he only did it when he was extremely stressed) before we headed to my house cause I needed to grab my overnight bag. He got a call right when I got out of the car, when I came back out with my stuff he still was on the call.
When he got off I had a bad feeling. He told me had to go straight to Baltimore. His was having surgery. He didn't tell me much but he was terminally ill and they had just found out that day but the surgery wasn't supposed to be for a few days. So he left and that was the last time I saw him.
He would text me occasionally if I begged, with an update for the first month. Never good news. Then the texts stopped. I got 1 more mid Oct after a few weeks of silence and since then nothing.
I don't want to be a bitch, I get it family comes first. But he has signed on here multiple times and yet he can't take the 30 secs to shoot me a text?
At this point with it being 2 months since I've even heard from him at all I have to accept whatever happened, it caused him to stop talking to me, something he swore he wouldn't do (that he would give me a reason if it came to that). I have to just assume he has decided to cut ties with me, though I can think of no reason why.
What really hurts is back in June he had asked me to be his gf and something stopped me from saying yes cause of how busy he is. I said I really wanted him to think about it and if he still wanted that, we would talk about it. Looks like there was a reason I said that, even though at the time I kicked myself for it. Especially since when we first started talking he made it clear he wasn't looking for a relationship, so I never hoped for that, no matter how well we clicked.
Imagine if I'd have been his gf and been going through this silence from him, that would've hurt even worse. So it is what it is.
We had also planned on a major concert festival in Philly last Sep and Ozzfest/Knotfest in CA, yeah that didn't happen either.
It seems I'm not meant to have happiness, only fleeting moments. Every time I have something awesome, something always happens. It never fails. Then I'm supposed to stay positive, yeah ok.
*sigh* I don't mean to sound bitchy, it's just the same old song, played over and over. I'm tired of it.
I've been without sex since July and there's no possibilities on the horizon. This could easily stretch into another 5 years. Oh God....
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6/13/16 with fwb and 6/26/16 Simple Plan and Magic!
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Posted:Dec 12, 2016 4:33 pm
Last Updated:Dec 12, 2016 5:04 pm
4794 Views
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I saw J 6/13/16, we didn't do much went to dinner and had some naked time lol His best time to see me is on a weeknight which is our work nights, as we're both off weekends. But he goes to his house in Harrisburg on weekends with his , so when I'd stay overnight with him we'd usually get up early and he'd take me home, which means not much sleep for either of us. But somehow I never minded much. Me, who loves her sleep.
I'm not a sexual details person but he is very good in bed, may be the best I've had honestly. He can go like literally 7 times a night and 1 night (I can't remember if it was this one) I actually got really sore and ended up bleeding a bit, nothing crazy extreme, just a little. But I still didn't mind. He also is snipped so he was able to cum in me and we didn't have to use condoms cause neither of us had another fwb. That was the best thing ever. He literally could cum and keep going. It was like a fantasy come true.
Any way, 6/26/16 he took me to Pitt to see Simple and Magic! There was also Ingrid Michaelson as the main act but I'm not really a fan and the tix were cheap so I feel I got my money's worth seeing the 2 bands I really wanted to see. It was just acoustic but that's ok.
Simple Plan was awesome. They played a lot of older songs and a couple of new ones off the new album. Plus they played "Jet Lag" which I thought there was no way since it's a duet with a girl. But they had the audience sing the female parts which was cool. I was fangirling inside. lmao I videoed that. (all videos I've taken from concerts I've attended can be found on the tube same name)
Magic! was awesome too, but they should've taken a page from Simple Plan's book, cause they mainly played new songs off the album that wasn't out yet. So most people didn't know them. They played 2 old ones. They also had extra time at the end so they did a song they screw around with in sound check "Pony" by Ginuwine, that got a lot of females happy. lmao I videoed that.
After they got off the stage I texted J to come get me, it was still early but I figured instead of watching a singer I wasn't into I could be spending time with him. He ended up running late and I caught Ingrid's first song. It was alright.
I was sad there was no merch.
He picked me up and we had another great night before he took me home. 
That's it for this concert, More about J To be continued...
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Sixx AM and more about my FWB 5/18/16
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Posted:Dec 10, 2016 8:47 pm
Last Updated:Dec 10, 2016 9:17 pm
5008 Views
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(3 pics)
Like my previous entry said, I had no intention of seeing J again but we were still talking. It's rare to find an intelligent guy who likes concerts. Sixx AM was coming to Pittsburgh on 5/18/16 which I found out I think like a week or so prior. I was just trying to find concerts. So I mentioned it to J and he said well he couldn't go as he had a meeting for work (he has a really high up position in his job and works crazy hours) but he could take me. He actually came and picked me up. I left work 2 hrs early so I could go home and get ready and I think he came about 5.
We parked for a few until the line died down and then he dropped me off. I ended up having to call him cause that venue is extremely strict with what you can bring in, it's ridiculous. So He came back like 20 min later cause he was already across town and I pretty much emptied what little was in my purse, which wasn't much any way.
The opening act Cilver was actually pretty cool. I got pics with the Lead singer and the drummer.
Oh and it was the lead singer's birthday so we sang happy birthday to her.
Sixx AM actually played a lot of old songs as well as new ones. Though I was disappointed there was quite a few new ones they didn't play. But they definitely put on a high energy show. They played "Life is Beautiful" which was my main song I wanted to hear.
After is was surprised me, I was so pumped on adrenaline, which I always am after a show. J picked me up and we went back to his hotel. I had requested to come in a couple hours later the next day to work but I still had to go to work, but I just didn't want to go home yet.
So I was telling him about the show and showing him the merch I got. Then we were laying there talking about music. He used to be in a band, he was a bassist. He was telling me about those days and stories. I don't remember much anymore, but one thing thing to another and well clothes came off and we had amazing sex. Literally up until it happened I wasn't planning on it. I have a thing for musicians and apparently this is what happens. lmao Though I do have to know the guy. I don't just sleep with anyone.
From that night a flip was switched. I found him a lot more attractive and it was easier with him. I guess it was meant to happen. Sometimes fate just takes over. lol
I don't remember what time he took me home. I think we actually fell asleep for a bit and he took me home towards morning cause I think that was the morning where we had to pull at Sheetz and he had to nap for like a half hr cause he was falling asleep and I was barely conscious. At least I didn't have to be at work for an extra 2 hours. I went home and slept for a little longer. I felt bad he had to go back but he was awake when he dropped me off and he texted me when he got back.
Well that's it for that, but I have more stories. It was a great summer, to be continued...
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