it doesnt have to be cold
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Posted:Jul 12, 2015 12:08 am
Last Updated:Sep 30, 2015 7:03 pm
2982 Views
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its a one night stand, causal sex, fwb and so on, they should not be so cold and distant, I understand the need to keep emotion at a distance. but the human desire is not just to mate, but to feel connected, to feel alive, wanted, desired, needed....after all if it was just sex, we would all just masturbate.
It was just sex, to see how it goes... if we like having sex together we would continue... the next morning he went to get breakfast for us, before we were to part ways.
Before he returned that awkward unpleasant feeling came over me. the sadness or feeling less than emerged. you fight it , rationalize it, try to ignore it, but still its there. he returned with breakfast, coffee and a rose. only because its your birthday he said. Of course I smiled. that little flower, that little thought, effort took all that ugly away it changed everything. when we parted ways. I was left with a very special moment a memory that to this day makes me smile....
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50 of My flaws or what some cant hanlde about me LOL
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Posted:Sep 27, 2015 1:40 pm
Last Updated:Sep 29, 2015 9:58 pm
2792 Views
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what I think is the worst of me for most men... let me be clear I don't like every thing about me (I work on that) but I like damn near most all of me. but I am a bit much for most folks. and I am ok with that, cause I need a special man in my life not and ordinary one : )
lets see ...oh yes!
1. my fingers have no filter, I text paragraphs', over explain thing and get into detail.
2. I may wait to respond, think on it.
3. people mistake my asking a question as trying to start a fight. I am real fast to shut down an argument before it even starts.
4. I am emotionally driven meaning if I am comfortable I express myself more, if something's on my mind I am more reserved. my bad moods are minimal. my face will tell all. I don't scream, throw shit if it comes to that you have no business in my life.
5.I jump ship, my mind multitask so one min we are ordering pizza and the next I am building / figuring out how to fix/ inventing something.
6. out of the clear blue I will ask the oddest questions.
7. I ask question, some people find this controlling, mostly its me being a part of your life, learning about you, being interested in your day. keeping us connected.
8. I get nervous and shy for no reason. or I am direct, up front taking charge. depends on the situation too. I also can go from shy, intimidated to bold, matter of fact in less time than it take to flip a light switch.
9.I watch, I pay attention, I see what most don't. and I miss what most do. most people see the mountain. I see the layers that made the mountain. ( I saw during sex you was not thinking about me)
10. I do not belong in the kitchen,,, I can cook but its really not the place for me.
11. I have to much stuff
12. I have 3 dogs inside the house
13. I am not OCD about my house but I would like to be
14. I have to many unfinished projects
15. I have more tools than most men and I use them.
16. I don't paint my nails reg. get manicures etc. would love to but my life don't allow it
17. I am confident, secure, independent with times of needing reassurance, being needy and I have never had anyone take care of me so I don't know how that works or what its like.
18. when I get super excited I'm like a at Christmas
19. I don't spell worth a damn
20. oh yea I cuss ... a lot
21. not so educated in the school stuff, I have work since 13.
22. self help, I am always looking at my part and trying to fix or make me better. but I see your part also.
23. I do not allow anyone to be demeaning to me, I will take suggestions and polite pointing out my character defects.
24. I practice very safe for me sex.
25. if someone tries to make me do something I don't want to, I shut down sexually or other wise I buck up and get attitude.
26. you can not lower my ambitions with booze, no matter how drunk if I get a hint of your trying to take advantage I will become a major in your face shut you down stone cold bitch.
27. been told I try to hard
28. I don't give up on most things.
29. when I committe its to my own demise, so I am very carful who I committe to
30. I don't know designers, I am not a proda person, I like nice things and to be spoiled but I am in no way spoiled
31. I have at least 3/4 secrets that only certain people get to know and not all three at once they come in time. they are not bad just personal and not something I care to show the world. about like my tears only certain people are allowed to see them.
32. I like sex and I let you know if your not doing it right for me, move my body, if that don't work move your, or tell you, my mental state is connected to my excitement level.
33.small boobs 32 A and sensitive, picky about how they are handled
34.I don't pick the restaurant ever, I don't eat hot spicy food, just flavored. no sugar
35. two many three beers tops
36. very little, too much or not at all on make up
37. I want to be spoiled, pampered, weather its rubbing my shoulders or buying gifts.
38. I want time, as much time with the person I care about, love etc as I can get, he would be my best friend, lover, partner , I don't like apart.
39. I get my feelings hurt easy and never show it. or if I do and you disregard them I will withdraw and put distance. if I don't feel wanted, needed, valued I will do the same
40. wow I will not tolerate certain things. I stand firm an 100% when I do.
41. I take fun pictures and you have to take like six so ill find one I like lol
42. I get lost, run late
43. I cant have
44. its hard to gain my trust
45. some times I think to much
46. I don't play jealous games, I don't play emotional games. I don't allow it to be done to me
47. I am hard to read but easy to see if you just look.
48. I get distracted
49. I bull doze through bullshit. nip it in the butt, hit it hard and head on.
50. I don't try to fit into any mold, I change constantly, with mood, situation, people, places, comfort etc. but my core my honor, integrity, that stays the same..
there you have it LOL OH and the big one for NOW that is temporary but also changes everything while I am trying not to let it..... tada menopause !
hmmm I am sure there are more.
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you cheated your self
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Posted:Sep 30, 2015 6:18 am
Last Updated:Oct 2, 2015 10:08 am
2949 Views
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You Lied, mislead and manipulated to get sex... Well done good job. another notch under the belt... What you don't realize is you cheated your self.
when You do this you cheat yourself.
Not so long ago I had already planned to have sex with someone, was planning to make an arrangement for once or twice a month at least, but he lied about things, he lied about being willing to play by my rules, to respect my wishes. He played on words saying and implying he wanted more.
when he did tried to do things I had asked him not to, it shut me down, made me distant, took away my pleasure, excitement of the moment and made me realize he really had no respect for me, he was not into pleasing, He was not truly passionate, He used that, to get what he wanted, the selfish shined through by the second time we had sex.,
When it came to my attention that he was doing this, it changed my desires toward him.
well needless to say, I Have no tolerance for those kinds of games. I have no tolerance for selfish or for a Man that would want me to do anything I am not comfortable with. that would show me so little respect to keep doing things I asked not to. that was ignoring my body language and my voice, that would put him self above my peace of mind. that would treat me with such disregard and disrespect.
yes he got the sex... twice and lost out on a cautious on going sex. Lost out on me trusting him. Lost out on the possibility of what could have been, He lost out on the best of me. He lost out on the freedom of my sexual personality growing.
MORE THAN ALL THAT HE CHEATED HIMSELF.... He WILL NEVER FIND what he truly desires, what his heart truly wants, liven a lie, playing game emotional games, trying to dominate this way. He will never find the women that enjoys him fully for his self. who he really is. To me that is sad, just as sad as the man married 20 yrs and his wife doesn't know he has a foot fetish. that's not how things should be.
a real man respects his partner. Doesn't try to dominate her into things she is not comfortable with, does not want. I don't mind my man handling me, scooping me up with that passionate kiss or even just a hug, pulled in close, I am just saying there is a difference between that and the other...
HE CHEATED HIMSELF..... the truth, the core of who you are will always show.
You have to be truthful with yourself and true to your heart. experiment sure but be honest about it. not only with your self but with others , don't cheat your self or allow anyone to cheat you...
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Acceptance
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Posted:Sep 29, 2015 7:51 pm
Last Updated:Sep 30, 2015 6:58 pm
2514 Views
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Acceptance - What someone means to you, is not what you mean to them...
we can not change the wants, needs or desires of others.
where you want to be, may not be where you are meant to be.
we have to accept what we can not change, let go of what we can not control and look in side our self to find what we can. (AR)
knowing your self and what you deserve, excepting no less (AR)
Was it meant for me ? I may never know ... In the illusions of my mind I will breath in the sweetness of all that I choose to believe, forever it will stay tuck away in the cracks of my heart binding the pieces, keeping it whole. (AR)
Fearless we are: No matter the pain, suffering or how Broken we become, we pick up the pieces and do whatever it takes to put them back together. And here is where we shine, with the cracks of the broken pieces we are transformed, Now and forever more changed... We are like the work of art that that is timeless, not everyone see's it the same, the art that will not everyone can see the true beauty in, that not all will appreciate its value. for the ones that see it are very aware of just how precious and rare we are. A one of a kind, priceless works of art, Fearless! through the cracks with shine with the ability to love again. - AR
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yep
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Posted:Sep 29, 2015 7:43 pm
Last Updated:Oct 2, 2015 10:12 am
2395 Views
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yep
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just rambling on, nothing much really
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Posted:Sep 28, 2015 9:47 pm
Last Updated:Sep 30, 2015 6:59 pm
2566 Views
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Believe in me, trust me, open up, let me in, why are you so reserved ? what are you scared of ? I find it interesting how people want me to share more than what I already have in my profile ( which by the way is alot) in the first few dates.
How they try to analyze me, figure me out or interview me. Instead of just enjoying my company. They put so much effort toward it that they miss out on actually getting to know me.
How they reframe from sharing there lives and details, but want me to share mine.
sex can be and is intimate to a degree, there is a major difference between having sex, sex with chemistry , sex with chemistry and openness, and sex with all that mixed in with freedom of fear. Allowing someone to be apart of your inter circle, exposing them to the side of you that only few are allowed to see, allowing your self to be attainable. Having certainly.
orgasms can be achieved by hitting the right spot, pushing the right button, rubbing the right way . However as for me a women if my mind is not in the moment, if something is causing me to be uncomfortable then it is lacking. the most desirable orgasm in one in which the body and mind are both free and excited.
sex is only a small part of who I am, it is only a small part of what is important in life and at the same time it is of great importance
I don't know how other women are? I don't really care? I don't compare my self or let anyone place me in a position to where I feel like I have to compete. As for Me, I am not going to open up to you right off the bat, No sir. You have to earn that, you have to prove you can be trusted, that you are worthy.
I do open up from time to time and I have to be Honest, Most men fail.... simply fail... yes it is a test... I express my self, share when I am upset, I am very direct and I call bullshit when I see it. when I do this, it don't take but a hot min for me to see who is going to man up, who is real and who I will fall short.
The ones that past, that man up, that have proven to be worthy have turned out to be the most wonderful and amazing people and I have been very blessed to have met them and have them be apart of my life.
if your reading this and you failed me, I have no hard feelings and I have no issue being friends. Not every person is capable of dealing with me, I am certainly not every ones cup of tea and Honey I wouldn't have it any other way.
(wink) I have amazing instincts.
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our minds, profiles & illusions
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Posted:Sep 27, 2015 9:27 am
Last Updated:Sep 30, 2015 7:08 pm
2492 Views
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.... disappointments are your own expectations Not being met ... however in life we must have some expectations of others. in saying that I have to say that reading profiles, texts, letter, e-mail is like reading a book. when we read a book our minds create illusions of what we perceive our charters to be. unfortunately this also happens in the online world. you are different in person... Yes, I am as long as my profile is and as much detail as I give nothing can describe me as well as spending time with me in person. I try very hard not to allow this fictitious process to give me unreliable expectation of others. I understand that nothing can give you the true depth of a person with out spending time with them in person. the look on their face, body movement, nervous ticks, the touch of a persons hand, the chemistry between the two. you can never know the truth of what is real from text etc. I do have expectation of truth, honestly, respect. etc.
let me add if someone truly likes me they will be willing to spend time with me, willing to see me, my heart, my silliness, serious etc. they will put forth the effort to know my off days and my good days. they will not try to make me into a fictional character they have made up in their head.
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I wonder whats the point
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Posted:Sep 26, 2015 2:19 pm
Last Updated:Sep 28, 2015 6:49 pm
2679 Views
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a side from the primal need to mate, and that I like sex if its done right. Today I am asking myself what's the point of it all. texting for months only to discover after two or three dates either they are not interested or I am not. I put it out there as clear as I can, I tell them up front I am a hand full, that I write novels and try to be as real as I can.
people don't spend enough time together, I understand there are the ones you just know first date off the top. I don't know I cant sum myself up in a profile my personality is from on extreme to the other. My angry in minimal, my precede with caution is large, when I get nervous is shows and when I get happy I am a silly mess. talk to much or not enough. I am just wondering what is the point, Maybe I am better off being alone. I am not willing to settle. Maybe I want to much. I have grown tired of dating and all the games that come with it. but still after this last one bailed out, I sit here and look, just look cause I am not wanting to talk and get attached. I just look like maybe, just maybe that right one will pop out to me and this time will be it. So we all know that's not how life is, so I sit here and wonder what is the point to it all.
Ps I have enjoyed my time with those I have spent time with in that moment and I do make the best of those times when I can. I don't believe in Cinderella, but I do believe in a honest heart.
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just information
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Posted:Sep 23, 2015 8:56 am
Last Updated:Sep 23, 2015 9:03 am
2646 Views
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I am being direct here... men are carriers of things and do not even know they have them. pre cum is a body fluid that can transmit things. Condoms are not just for the insertion part. they are to contain the fluids, this is why you can not rub the head of your penis all over her clit or other areas.
You have to take care not to push fluid ( bacteria ) into the urethra tube on a women, it causes them UTI's (infections that are very painful)
also wash your hands before sex, this is a sensitive area that should be cared for....
woman's emotions, thinking, stress, uncertainty, comfort level etc.. are directly connected to her orgasms , the intensity of the pleasure is connected. meaning she can still get off but the excitement may not be there. the full height of enjoyment wont be reached.
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ADD a little sweeetness
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Posted:Jul 15, 2015 8:47 am
Last Updated:Aug 8, 2015 9:09 pm
3082 Views
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Seriously, maybe its just meet at the hotel sex... but come on Guy sweeten the pot, a flower or a thank you card, some I cant wait to see you text. Put a little effort into it, Mental seduction can make the worst lover desirable, it may be nothing more than a piece of ass to you. BUT trust me when I say, if you want to enjoy it again DO not make it feel that way, when they leave you there should never be a yucky feeling to follow... its should be OMG that was amazing, I can t wait to see them again... if its not good for either of you. be ok to except that.. be kind but don't drag them along for a no where ride. cut them lose to find someone more suited for them. LADYS tell them if they look good if their kiss melts you, Men need compliments also... you were not their only choice... they choose you also... respect, gratitude, appreciation common courtesy. a little tiny be of effort goes a long long way
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giving this a try
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Posted:Jul 8, 2015 7:20 am
Last Updated:Jul 18, 2015 4:42 pm
3033 Views
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I am giving this a try to see how it works : )
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To link to this blog (itsrealsimpleluv) use [blog itsrealsimpleluv] in your messages.
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