Funny thing about this site
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Posted:Sep 9, 2013 3:03 pm
Last Updated:Sep 14, 2013 12:10 pm
23116 Views
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Isn't it interesting how the only times I ever get an email from on here (unless it is coming from a blogger buddy), is right before or after the little gold ball goes away? Interesting coincidence wouldn't you say? Hmmmm ....
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Loosing my balls
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Posted:Sep 5, 2013 7:13 pm
Last Updated:Sep 13, 2013 1:30 pm
23127 Views
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My gold ball I mean. Fact is I only keep it for the "Where I'm Quoted" feature. So it anyone wants me to send them a private message or friend request better let me know now. 
Kidding aside, since I will soon be a standard member again. Does anyone have any tips on how to get around here without a little colored ball?
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Word Association
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Posted:Aug 31, 2013 11:17 pm
Last Updated:Sep 13, 2013 1:28 pm
22199 Views
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I noticed that my recent posts have almost all been very serious topics. So I figure it's about time I lighten things up here and have a little fun. Today I was walking around the Minnesota State Fair with some friends and I say this sign.
I immediately chuckled a little to myself. When we reconvened under the sign. I explained to my friends why I found that sign so amusing. You see every time I see the word falafel, I think of a character from the Hercules and Xena TV series' from the 90's with the same name. I love those shows (heck I own the DVD's of the Hercules series and a couple seasons worth of Xena) watching it was part of my weekly routine. Falafel was a reoccurring gag character. He was a travelling road side "chief" who was trying to start a fast food business in ancient Greece. He would show up either on a road between two towns or as a caterer when the story called for one. He would try to deep fry things, make things out of tofu and so on. But his signature dish was the falafel. Thing was with the exception on one episode where Gabriel had a condition that was causing her to sense of taste to be off, no one could ever actually eat any of his food. They would always end up spitting it out or what not.
So that got me wondering what types of word associations might other people have. Do you have a word, phrase object or anything. That reminds you of something/someone completely different?
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Green eyed Monster
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Posted:Aug 24, 2013 6:07 pm
Last Updated:Sep 16, 2013 5:25 pm
23830 Views
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Today I want to talk about something that I think I might be currently dealing with, jealousy. While I have felt jealousy before it's never felt quite like this, which is why I say I may be dealing with it.
Here is the situation, I have been dating someone for just over 5 months now. I do like her a lot and I have made sure I've told her that. I'm often not good at expressing things like that so being direct is the only way I can be sure they know it. It is a poly relationship of sorts. She has other partners, I currently do not, though I am free to pursue other people if I choose. I just feel I need to figure out how to be in one relationship before I go searching for a second.
Today a group of local kinksters went tubbing. This group included her, her primary partner and I. I had a lot of fun tubbing, we all did. As the day went on I was watching the two of them together (not the first time I've seen them together, but the last time I was around both of them at the same time her and I hadn't begun dating yet. She was just someone I was interested in. so I was kind of looking at it with new eyes).
The first thing I noticed was that when they are together I basically might as well not be there. I don't mean that they were actively ignoring me, believe me I know what that is like. I'm a quiet guy so I don't always talk a lot, today was one of those days. I actively listened to them, occasionally thought in my two cents, answered when they did try to include me. If they would have been actively ignoring me, saying anything would have been pointless because they wouldn't acknowledge it, and they would not have included me in the conversation in any way. Today was just a matter of these two being off in their own little flirty world.
Part of me thought it was really cute. I want her to be happy and it is obvious that she is with him.  But part of me was also wondering why I can never seem to achieve that. Now I'm the first one to admit how clueless I am when it comes to relationships and telling if someone is interested and flirting with me. So maybe I just have those blinders to blame for not seeing it when her and I are together, I honestly don't know.
(Before I go any further I should mention that I have no problems with him and as far as I can tell he has no problems with me. Heck I like hanging around with the guy, every encounter I've had with him tells me he is a great dude and I can see why he appeals to her so much, so this feeling isn't coming from a place of not liking or approving of the guy).
I see little things like her freely kissing him in public for example. While she has kissed me in public before it hasn't happened since we started seeing each other. These days that only seems to happen in private. My over analytic mind wonders if this means anything. What I'm getting at is that I think I might feeling jealousy toward their relationship.
I'm not sure why I'm feeling this way. Maybe I'm just tired after a long day tubing and inadvertently (again they were not trying to make me feel this way on purpose) feeling like the 5th wheel, or is it 3rd wheel I forget how the saying goes. Maybe it's because I have been with her longer then I have ever been with any other woman and it is residual nerves from that making my mind nit-pick things that it normally wouldn't. Maybe this is also a byproduct of the fact that I haven't had sex in over a year (one year, 4 months, 4 days and some odd hours to me more precise) and I've been freaking horny all the time, and after watching them today I realize that they may be filling each others sexual itch as I type this. Maybe this is a strange hold over from my last relationship which was also a poly thing. Where several of her friends and other partners apparently didn't care much for me (which I didn't know, not that I assumed we were besties or anything) but I thought everything was fine with me and the girl I was seeing at the time only to be blind sided with a break up. Yet this woman who's friends and other partners I have met seem to like me even go out of there were to talk we me on their own on occasion. Yet I'm not totally sure how I'm doing with this girl, but she still stays around. Even if it is hard to make schedules match up sometimes. Maybe it is something else all together, I have no clue.
Have any of you ever been in a similar or comparable situation? How did you handle it? If you feel like sharing how did it turn out?
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Totally random question of the day.
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Posted:Aug 13, 2013 6:30 pm
Last Updated:Aug 18, 2013 1:06 am
22345 Views
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Why is it that in order to get to the shoe section of any store I have 2 choices.
1. Walk the fastest route to them, which always brings me past the bras and lingerie (no I'm not kidding, every store).
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2. Take the long way around the store to avoid the bras and lingerie?
2A. As an addendum to number 2. In some cases I could drive to the opposite end of the building to avoid having to go through that section, but gas is too darn expensive for that.
I only ask because as weird as it sounds when I'm not with a woman I feel like I'm being the bad kind of perverted when I walk by the ladies underthings part of the store. Not sure why that is, nor is that the point.
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The Kettle and the Pot
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Posted:Aug 2, 2013 12:15 am
Last Updated:Aug 18, 2013 4:20 pm
23690 Views
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So those of you following along may remember that I am currently in a polly relationship. A few things have happened since my last post, basically we had dinner talked a few things out. Basically we are still together, now that your all caught up time to get going on the point of tonight's post.
As I was saying, I'm involved in a poly relationship. Basically that means that should I feel the need I'm free to pursue other relationships. My take on that with either of the poly relationships I have been involved with is that I've felt no need to go seek out a new relationship, however I am not opposed to a new one finding me. Well recently someone that I had talked to on fet a few months ago reached back out to me (no one that I have written about here before). She reached out to the point where she was trying to make plans to get together this weekend.
I didn't really see it going any further then friends or play partners. But we were talking about this and that, the conversation inevitably turned to sex. So as we were talking it comes out that she fancies recreational drugs (the title to this post has a clue about which one). Well for me that was like stomping on the breaks. More over she tells me that she prefers to have sex stoned. Ok now red flags are shooting up in my mind. So I explain that I want nothing to do with drugs of any kind and that I wouldn't knowingly have sex with anyone that was stoned. Let alone be bdsm stuff (I could explain why but I really hope I don't have to).
At this point she gets a bit defensive and throws words like propaganda at me. And eventually hits me with just being surprised that I would have an issue with it, because she apparently has never met a guy that has. Well I have some standards about the circumstances that I have sex under. I also have a hard limit about drug use. Shame this wont get a chance to see where it might have gone, things seemed to be going alright (or as alright as they can go when you are just setting up a first face to face) and we were into some of the same stuff.
Anything similar ever happened to you? Things are going fine then you find something out that is an automatic deal breaker of you? Or should I have thrown my morals regarding drug use aside and just been happy that I might be able to get my pecker wet? (by the way that last question is rhetorical, I'm not seriously asking I know I'm allowed to have whatever standards I wish to have).
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The Vanishing Act
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Posted:Jul 17, 2013 11:00 pm
Last Updated:Aug 19, 2013 4:04 pm
24065 Views
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We've all been there we meet someone we are into and have a date (or a few) you feel good about it. Then without warning communication slows to a crawl or stops all together. Or maybe you've been the one to cut communication without warning.
This is something I never understood. Seems to me that it would just be polite to at least send some type of message saying "sorry but I'm not feeling it." There may be no easy way to tell someone your not interested, but cutting contact and waiting for them to get the "hint" just doesn't seem right to me. Seems to me that you might as well be telling the person that their feelings are worth nothing. But that is just my opinion.
Why do I bring this up? I'm worried I might be going through this now. I hope I'm wrong, but the writing seems to be on the wall that she is pulling the vanishing act (and please DON'T make the replies about my going through it).
What I would like to know is what is the longest you've ever been "with" someone and they pulled the vanishing act, or you pulled it on them? Is is ever ok to do (assuming we aren't talking about some clinging nut job that you have actually told it was over)?
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Alpha's
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Posted:Jul 12, 2013 11:37 pm
Last Updated:Aug 16, 2013 12:03 am
21936 Views
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Today I want to talk about a term that makes me personally cringe, alpha male. I have been reading a topic thread on fet about what it means to be an alpha male. However every time I hear that term I think of the loud fool who always has to have things his way especially when he doesn't know what he is doing. The controllers and abusers I see them around and it is written off because they are "alpha males."
That is what alpha male means to me. What does it mean to you?
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On being shy
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Posted:Jul 6, 2013 2:53 am
Last Updated:Jul 11, 2013 10:34 pm
21444 Views
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I was watching random sex related videos on the tube of you tonight. When a suggested video popped up titled "How to attract women for shy guys." I figured hey why not watch it. I can always use some helpful tips on dating, relationships and flirting. If nothing else it might be good for a laugh.
So I watched the clip. The woman doing the video claimed to be a "dating coach" in California somewhere. Now I'm a pretty mellow guy that can let most things roll off my back (possibly too much sometimes). But within the first minute of this video I was getting angry with this woman. For some reason I continued to watch and spent the next 10 minutes listening to this woman tell me how because I'm shy there is something wrong with me and if I want to attract a woman I must be fixed.
I'm here to say. I am shy, I am an introvert and I am NOT some broken person that must be fixed. No I'm not always the most talkative person in a room. But being shy or being introverted does not automatically mean that I'm a "dud" who is incapable of holding a conversation. Maybe I don't go out of my way to start a conversation with people I don't know well. I'm I great at idol small talk? Nope I'm not, I freely admit that. So I don't talk a lot unless there is a point in what I have to say. Is that such a bad thing? How does that old saying go? We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.
I am so sick of shy and introverted people being made to feel like we are a lesser class or like there is something wrong with us. AAAARRRRGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!! Thanks for letting me get that out. I'll go back to being my lovable quiet self now.
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I'm officially published.
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Posted:Jun 26, 2013 12:33 am
Last Updated:Jan 28, 2014 7:53 am
20518 Views
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Before I get to the main crux of the post. I know I haven't been posting a lot recently. I have had a lot on my mind, especially the last few weeks. Some good some not so much. I hope you all have been doing well. Now onto the point of my post.
This week was the debut of the Leather Pride Anthology for this year. Every year the local bdsm/poly/transgender/homosexual/filling in the blank alternate lifestyle communities have a big celebration about now. As part of that celebration there is a committee that collects pictures and works of writing from the communities (submitted willfully of course). Not everything that is submitted gets in. Well this year my first time trying to get in I managed to get a piece of my writing in. A work that I ended up titling "A Masters Promise." It is just a short work, not really anything I would consider pornographic though a few kinky activities are mentioned.
I went to the debut of course. They were asking the contributors to read their works. So I consented to read mine. While I am used to reading in front of people, I am not used to reading my writing (not to mention erotic-ish writing) in front of others. Couple that with the fact that everyone that went before me said they were a writer and had been of years. Needless to say I was nervous.
So when I was introducing my work my first point was that I didn't consider myself a writer and asked the crowd to be kind. But I gave a brief background of the piece and where it came from then read it for the everyone. At times my had was shaking, good thing it was hidden behind the paper. But after the readings were over people did come up and tell me it was really good. So that is my positive excitement for the week. Now if I could only do something about my little problem of not getting laid in over a year and I would be a happy camper.
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At what point?
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Posted:Jun 18, 2013 9:32 pm
Last Updated:Jun 23, 2013 9:01 pm
20902 Views
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So those of you that have been following my blog for any length of time know that I'm not very experienced when it comes to relationships. You also know that I started seeing someone new not all that long ago. Thing is tomorrow (June 19th) will mark the 3 months since our first date (to the day). I noticed this the other night when I started wondering exactly how long we had been dating (I knew the 3 month mark was coming up). This is the longest amount of time I have ever been with someone.
So all of my readers with far more relationship experience then I. At what point to anniversaries become a big deal? When do they actually become a "thing"?
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Sexless Relationships
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Posted:Jun 16, 2013 10:15 pm
Last Updated:Jun 18, 2013 9:14 pm
21208 Views
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I can't take credit for this question. I found it in a group on Fet called "Ask A Male A Question." I thought it would be an interesting question to ask here.
What I would like to know is would you be willing to enter/stay in a romantic relationship where sex was absent. Would it make a difference if it was because of a physical issue or some past trauma? Would it make a difference if it was possible that it would be an option later but just isn't at this point in time?
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Truthful Tuesday
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Posted:Jun 4, 2013 6:03 am
Last Updated:Jun 6, 2013 5:39 am
22635 Views
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gottaring is doing a thing today called Truthful Tuesday so I'm playing along. How it works is you just post five truths about yourself. So here are mine.
1. I love to swing and ballroom dance. But I'm not very good because I have little to no musical rhythm.
2. I have never had a (romantic) relationship that has lasted more then two and a half months. (though I am currently close to breaking that record, you'll have to check back in a couple weeks to see if I do).
3. As I write this I'm playing the Avengers Alliance game on the facial book. It's the only game I play there currently.
4. The most sex I've had in the shortest time is three times in a twenty four hour period. In comparison my longest dry spell is nearly 8 years (though I tend to round down to 7 years).
5. Not too long ago I sat down and averaged out the number of days between sexual encounters. At the time it came out to 370.84 days. But has grown since then, let's hope it breaks tonight as I do have a date. 
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To link to this blog (hornyguyMN) use [blog hornyguyMN] in your messages.
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