Adventures on Tinder.
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Posted:Dec 5, 2015 12:50 pm
Last Updated:May 4, 2024 3:15 am
18055 Views
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First things first, a small disclaimer. I will not name any names here (so if anyone here is on tinder I wont out you), nor will this turn into a thread to comment about any meetings I have as a result of the app. I am tinder a little like a social experiment and this thread is for documenting that.
I downloaded tinder about a month ago (early November). I'd heard all the hype and figured "what the hell can't hurt right." Worse thing that can happen is no one matches with me. Best case scenario is I meet a new partner or two and end this abysmal dry spell I'm in. Besides I was once told by someone here on fet that I needed to go out on dates and have lots of sex. So maybe this will help ... not holding my breath.
My profile reads as follows:
"I'm new to this. Not sure what I expect to fine here. But I figured I would check it out and see. That said small talk isn't always my strong point and I can be a little on the shy side. So I might be slow to send and opening message.
I'm a nice, laid back guy. I have interests in both monogamy and polyamory (I know I'm a walking contradiction). Channeling my inner Oliver Queen by self teaching at an archery rage. I don't get to do that often. I don't drink, smoke or do drugs."
My profile picture is this one. My second picture is one of me at the MOA's Star Trek exhibit.
I wont list the number of matches I've had or anything that in depth. But here are some of the stand outs from month one:
- I have seen three people I know on there. One of which was someone I had a minor crush on in high school. I may have even matched with one of the three.
- I was approached about a hook up. It didn't and will not happen. I got a vibe from the get go that there was something not right about it and it sounds like she would likely be cheating, which I want nothing to do with.
- I have had a few short conversations and a even more people that never returned a message. I'm assuming this is a normal thing.
- There is actually one person in particular that I have been chatting with fairly consistently for a couple weeks now. But due to being stuck living with her ex for a couple more months she doesn't see herself being able to actually meet someone until she moves.
We'll see what happens in the next month. For now I'm going to go make sure I fill my quota of messages there and on OKC for the day.
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So I try not to post about this these days but ...
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Posted:Nov 16, 2015 7:31 pm
Last Updated:May 4, 2024 3:15 am
16662 Views
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Celibacy sucks. Most of you probably know this, but that is what I'm thinking tonight. Maybe it's because I just downloaded tinder on a whim. Maybe it's because I haven't had sex in over three years (well about a year and a half if you count that blowjob, but for whatever reason I tend not to).
I'm just venting a bit, even guys like me need physical affection every now and then and I feel like I'm long over due for some. I realize this post will do nothing to fix this, but it's been building for awhile and I don't like mentioning it around friends (unless I'm making fun of it) because I feel like I'm just complaining and don't want to put them through it.
Ok mini rant over.
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Strip Cards Against Humanity
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Posted:Nov 4, 2015 2:38 pm
Last Updated:Nov 7, 2015 7:30 pm
17494 Views
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I realized the other day that I haven't played Cards Against Humanity (CAH) in awhile. So being the horny perv I am, I started wondering if it would be fun to play strip CAH and started contemplating rules. Here is what I came up with:
All the regular rules of CAH still apply. I'm going to assume you already know the rules. Because honestly I don't feel like typing them all out right now. If not think Apples to Apples with a very, very, very adult theme.
There are really only a couple rule changes or tweaks.
1. Is a personal preference. Everyone plays. If you are in that room you play the game. I figure that will make everyone feel more comfortable if everyone might be getting naked.
2. When the card czar picks a winner (the person he gives the black card to) they also pick another card. The owner of the second or strip card must remove an article of clothing.
Sounds like it could be fun to me. What do you all think? Do you have any other rules to add? Would you play?
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What I need.
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Posted:Oct 29, 2015 1:57 pm
Last Updated:May 4, 2024 3:15 am
17358 Views
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Recently a friend who is helping me with my online dating profile ask me what my needs were. She put me on the spot a little and I had trouble articulating it. Truth be told I don't think I have ever tried to articulate it before, it has always been one of those I know it when I see/feel it kind of things. Since then I have been thinking a lot about it. I'm not sure I'll be able to articulate it now, but let's give it a try shall we.
I need ...
- to not always feel like I need to be "on." Those that have taken time to get to know me, know that I'm a quiet introvert. I don't always talk much and there is nothing wrong with that. However we are often told that there is a lot wrong with it. For example: I was once chastised by a woman I was interested in because I didn't always talk much. I do a lot of listening, I like to take in as much as I can before speaking. Yet here was this person I'd gotten to know and developed a heck of a thing for (and she knew it) telling me that I was basically too polite and too quiet. "Most of my other friends would have interrupted me at least three times by now" she told me. All these years later (15+ years) I still remember that line. It was when the idea was solidified in my mind that I needed to be on. But I soon learned being having to be "on" all the time was emotionally exhausting. So recently I've decided that I need to find someone who is okay with me not being "on" all that time and will let me be which ever me I am that night, without reservation.
- Companionship, I know I come off very much as a loner and in a lot of ways I am. But I do want to be around people. To be close to people.
- Someone who will be patient with me. I haven't been in many relationships, I don't have much experience with them. I'm used to just having to plan for myself, if I want to go somewhere I go, if I don't I stay home. I'm not used to having to consider someone else when making plans. It isn't that I'm unwilling, just out of practice.
- This goes hand in hand with patience. Just like I'm out of practice when it comes to making plans for more then just myself. I'm not overly experienced or good at initiating more intimate things. I may want to grab you as we walk in the door pin you up against the wall, kissing you deeply while we rip our cloths off and take each other right there in the doorway. But I tend to error on the side of caution so much so that I either end up being to clumsy or too subtle with my attempts. Neither of which works very well. So I need someone that will be willing to let me work out (or even help me) learn to do this more straight forward and smoothly and even take the initiative from time to time.
- Physical affection, no I'm not talking about sex ... yet. But I want to be touched. Hug me, kiss me (god how I love a good kiss), rub my back, put your hand on my leg, cuddling. If I go long enough without significant touch my muscles actually tighten up to the point it gets down right uncomfortable if not borderline painful from time to time.
- While I'm on the subject. Sex, good lord I'm sick of being celibate. But not just any sex, I'm not looking for one night stands, those will actually cause more stress then they relieve for me. I need the kind of sex that comes from someone(s) you care about and that care about you. Both physical and emotional satisfaction, it has been far too long since I've been anywhere near that.
- Lastly I need someone who I don't have to hide any of the parts of myself from. I'm tired of always feel like I have to hide some part of myself. Be it the introverted me, the part of me that wants sex or kink. The part of me that can be moody, or lacks confidence around some things, my geeky/nerdy side (seriously I had an aunt try to convince me to not look for a woman with a geeky/nerdy side last weekend), the part of me that feels lonely or self conscious. The part of me that is prideful and the list goes on. I need someone that I can be comfortable enough around to just be me. And that will accept and love me for exactly who I am.
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I may have seen it all now.
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Posted:Oct 18, 2015 9:24 am
Last Updated:May 4, 2024 3:15 am
16436 Views
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This will be a short, sweet one. I was watching porn last night, because single guy with a sex drive who hasn't had sex in over three and a half years (as if I need to give a reason here). I was watching a porn parody I found online, one of those superheroine ones. This particular one was a Green Lantern parody. The dialogue was laughable for the most part. But what really got me that I never thought I would see. It made political statements about Citizens United and trickle down economics.
What things (legal things) have you seen in porn that you never thought you would see?
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Weak Knees
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Posted:Sep 27, 2015 12:24 pm
Last Updated:May 4, 2024 3:15 am
17130 Views
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When you're single long enough you eventually start to miss some things (assuming you experienced them I suppose). These can be big things like sex, long deep passionate kisses, emotional connections, being so comfortable with someone you don't feel the need for someone having to be talking the entire time your together because just being WITH them is enough. Or small things like casual touches, kisses hello and good bye, cuddling up on the couch and watching a movie together.
The list goes on, I could go on all day. But what I want to talk about today is weak knees. Weak knees may be metaphorical or literal, but we all have something that makes our knees shake or give out. I'm not talking about the weak knees we get from sex ... although if you want to see mine quiver there is no better way then giving me a blow job in the middle of a room were I have no other support. 
No, I'm talking about the weak knee sensations we get with our cloths on. With some it is obvious when it happens. I've had partners knees actually give out during a particularly hot make out session (and believe me there are few things more satisfying). For some people (like me) it is much more subtle then that. As far as I remember my knees have never actually given out (short of the blow job mentioned above or upright sex acts). For me it is more like a chill that runs down my spine. A wave of excitement that runs all the way from my head to my knees and back again.
The thing is, it isn't all that hard to illicit that type of reaction from me either. But like anything it starts in the ol' noggin. But once that connection is there if you know what buttons to push my knees will turn to jelly. I know that might sound strange for someone who considers him self a D type when it comes to play to say. But I have feelings too damn it. 
So what is this super secret Konami code to making my knees weak (get ready because this just took a nerdy turn and video game references will fallow)?
- (Up, Up): First things first: As mentioned above there needs to be some type of connection. Some random person doing these would just be creepy. Wrong type of chill. So before anyone starts entering in the code the game and system need to be on.
- (Down, Down): Get consent, consent is sexy and without the consent to do the what follows on this list there are no weak knees. So it is part of the code.
- (Left. Right): Ok now that we are at the start menu we can begin entering the code. The first thing someone can do is simple, a hand on my knee. When driving or sitting next to a partner I rally enjoy the sensation of them caressing my thigh right above my knee.
- (Left, Right): Surprise me with a passionate kiss. For a guy like me who likes to pride himself on his self control, seeing someone loose themselves in that type of passion is sexy. It will go a long way to making me loose myself in a similar passion. One of the best kisses I remember that made my knees quiver a bit was after asking someone out. After my asking and us talking about it for awhile (no answer was given) she surprised me with one of those kisses. It was completely unexpected, she was a great kisser and I have always felt at ease with her. So all of the pieces fell into place for my knees to waver and waver they did.
- (B, A): Lastly kiss my neck!! I don't know what it is, but kissing down my neck just does it. It sends those wave rushing up and down my back like nobodies business.
Yeah I miss that. I hope you all have someone who knows and enters your "Konami code" regularly. Have a great day.
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Drams ...
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Posted:Aug 4, 2015 8:05 pm
Last Updated:May 4, 2024 3:15 am
16733 Views
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Hi everyone,
I know I'm not around much these days. I've had other things on my plate. I wish I was here to report I was having sexy crazy fun. But that would be a lie. In fact I haven't had sex in 1200 days (and counting) and average 579.60 days between sexual encounters (yes I am that big of a geek I did the math). But this post isn't about that, I'm getting side tracked because I'm horny as hell and have sex on the mind.
I wanted to get something out of my system. Long time readers will know that I am part of the local BDSM "community" (I'll explain the quotes in a minute). Recently there has been a big mix up with one of the groups that I have attended regularly. I wont go into details, but the basics of the tussle stems from one of the new moderators of the group. Turns out someone in the group had a negative experience with him some time ago and filed a police report. She warned a mode after it happened, but he was made a mod of the group. When the mods didn't respond to her concerns she went public with them on fet. This started a shit storm of drama that is still going. People criticizing the way the group handled it or raising legitimate questions are being blocked/defriended and so on. Mods beside the one accused have stepped down due to "personal" reasons, while them and their partners are being blocked out of discussions for raising questions.
It's a mess and it is splitting the BDSM community (at least the younger community) in two. Personally I hate this BS. But let's face it, we use the term community, but there isn't much of one anymore. We are less of a community and more like a high school. One of the definitions of community is: a feeling of fellowship with others, as a result of sharing common attitudes, interests, and goals. We used to be that. But we have become a cluster of kliqs. Like a high school there are the cool , and there is everyone else. I'm not talking about the different kinks, so the riggers (or rope people) I'm not considering a different kliq from the impact players or the littles. I mean the groups of friends who look out for their own and ignore the concerns of everyone else and in some cases treat them like they are lower then them. I have seen this on both sides of this current drama. Neither side is really talking, they are just throwing up their noses at the other and looking out for their own. This wont get anyone anywhere. I seriously want to scream I thought I graduated from high school years ago.
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The then's and now's ...
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Posted:Jul 5, 2015 4:08 pm
Last Updated:May 4, 2024 3:15 am
17197 Views
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Of masturbation ... Because I know you all wanted to know about my masturbation habits (note the sarcasm). But seriously I noticed this the other night while making sweet, sweet love to myself. I don't do it the same way I used to, with the same vigor and excitement.
When I first discovered masturbation I was always looking to times when I could knock one off, I suppose that might not be so unusual. Then in college, (my first time away from home) I used to find times when my roommate would be away to do it. This included devoting hours (literally) to it. Making it last as long as possible. Getting right up to the edge before letting myself back down and then building back up to it.
Now it is just something to get out of the way. I don't get the same joy from it I used to, it is more like a chore now then a way to relax. So I get it over with as fast as possible and go about my day ... or to bed for the night, which ever.
This change in attitude stems from the fact that I'm just tired of it. For the most part I've spent the last 19 years where that was nearly my only sexual outlet (with the occasional one off or the 2-3 months I was with Kitty, which was over 3 years ago now). Part of what makes sex so appealing to me is the chance to bring someone other than myself sexual pleasure. Masturbation doesn't offer that chance, at least not directly.
I guess part of what brought on this line of thinking is worrying about stamina. Worrying that since I'm not putting in the "training" effort that whenever I get the chance to actually have sex again the stamina wont be there. Given my first time after long breaks does tend to be fast, followed by increased stamina come the next play date. So maybe my worries are unfounded. But that fear is still there that when I do get the chance I wont last long enough for me or my partner to get any enjoyment out of it. Guess it's a good thing I'm big on making sure my partner gets off at least once before I put it in.
No big question for today it was mostly a write it down to get it out of my brain thing. but if anyone has anything to say, comments are always welcome. Have a great day all.
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Come on guys (originally posted on my fet)
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Posted:Jun 18, 2015 11:06 am
Last Updated:May 4, 2024 3:15 am
17525 Views
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I originally wrote this for my fet journal. But it is just as relevant for here.
It seems like there has been a lot of talk about guys sending “wanna fuck” messages. Not just here, but the site I blog not to mention all of the okcupid profiles I see by women saying “have more to say then wanna fuck.” I have seen people talk about these messages in groups, heard them made fun of at munches. More often than not it doesn’t stop there either. After being told the woman isn’t interested (sometimes multiple times) the guys seem to loose what little sense of decorum they had and begin insulting someone how told them no five times (often times more politely then would be due given how they were approached). Some of the stories I’ve heard have made me down right embarrassed to share a gender with these guys.
I realize that I am likely preaching to the choir here. But come on guys do you really think that will work? Would you do that on the street or at a bar or club? Then when a woman reacts negatively or ignores your message, why are you so surprised? Let’s use our heads for a minute … wait a second let me specify. When I say use your head I mean (to quote Jimmy Dugan) that lump that’s three feet above your ass. How many times a day/week/month do you think that women get these kind of messages from complete strangers? How many times do think it would take before they get tired or answering the same pointless cut and paste email again and again? Add into that, when many guys get turned down they get aggressive and start insulting the woman. I don’t know about you, but I would get tired of that awful quick and I think I’m a pretty patient guy.
Don’t get me wrong there is something to be said for a guy who says he is just here for the sex. If you’re up front and honest fine, to each their own. But then why get so belligerent when the woman of your cocks dreams turns you down? Do they not have that right? Because if they don’t I’ve been treating women wrong my whole life. I always thought they had the freedom to choose who they wanted to sleep with. But when they exercise that right by saying “no” they apparently all of a sudden turn into sluts and whores and worthless ugly so and so’s.
I don’t get it, a person’s personality, attitude, looks and whatever else don’t change because they said no. I don’t get it, you’re acting like you’re doing the woman a favor by even suggesting they get to be in the presents of your cock. I hate to break it to you guys but that really isn’t the case, if anything they are doing you the favor if they let you in the presents of their vagina. Let’s use that lump three feet above our asses again. If a woman wants sex, more than likely she is going to have someone she knows willing to help her with that. Let’s face it the numbers are in women’s favor here. They have their pick of the litter. So why would they choose someone who put in zero effort to get to know who they are what they like and what they want?
Believe me I understand wanting to get laid. The concept of sex isn’t lost on me. I want to have sex … okay I want to have sex A LOT, like almost all the time. But finding someone to have sex with you is hard, it has always been hard and will always be hard … no pun intended. Some people get lucky and find someone fairly fast, good for them, but many of us will not. So let’s show a little class here guys. If you give women the chance to get to know you maybe they will want to sleep with you, maybe they won’t. But if you’re going to send cut and paste messages you’re not likely to have any luck. Hell I don’t want to sleep with all my female fet friends. Some I would jump at the chance (call me), but women like us don’t want to sleep with everyone they interact with. When a woman turns you down realize they have that right and it should be respected.
In short:
- stop making it harder for the rest of us to get laid.
- Show the women here some respect by showing interest in more than their tits and genitals
- Act with a little grace when being turned down. Because let’s face it we will all be turned down a lot before someone says yes.
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Why did I put myself through that?
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Posted:Jun 7, 2015 12:07 pm
Last Updated:May 4, 2024 3:15 am
16856 Views
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I know I'm more then a little late to chime in on this. But I just watched the 50 Shades of Grey movie last night. Long term followers know I'm part of the local BDSM community. I have never read the books and still have no plan to do so. So here is my take on the movie.
First the good things:
1. Condom use - I thought this was awesome, nothing that depicts sex these days even suggests condoms. So full marks for that.
2. On the same note, they discuss the pill (sort of). It is mentioned in the contract and there is a 20 second tease to it. But at least it was mentioned it.
Now for the parts I didn't like (in no particular order):
1. "Laters baby" - WTF IS A BILLIONARE DOING SAYING SOMETHING THAT TEENAGERS WOULD BE EMBARRASSED TO SAY!!!!!!!!! I cringed every time I heard this.
2. Christian Grey was one hell of a creepy bastard. If anyone reading this is or was a fan of TNA wrestling and remembers Samuel Shaw and his angle with Christy Hemme. That is who he reminded me of. He meets her once then shows up where she works despite never being told where that is? He runs a trace on her phone after a drunk phone call? He constantly shows up out of nowhere, can you say stalker.
3. There seemed to be a total lack of chemistry between the actors. Whether that was because of the material they were given or the cast I don't know.
4. The depiction of everyone into BDSM either being pedophiles or damaged.
5. On that note the whole "I'm damaged so love me, but no you can't love me" thing.
6. Following that train of thought the whole "I don't know you but I love you already" thing.
7. They both spend the whole movie trying to change the other, or getting them to negotiate things under duress.
8. "I found being a submissive freeing and fulfilling so obviously you will to". Ummmm yeah doesn't work that way for everyone.
9. While negotiation is an interregnal part of D/s relationships. The way they approached it in the movie as being a physical contract bothered me. Lists can be exchanged sometimes. But there is no pressure to sign a contract. In part because these things are always fluctuating and evolving. Things are constantly renegotiated, thus making a physical contract pointless. Not to mention the actual legalities with such a contract.
10. It looked like he was flogging her stomach at one point .... ummm bad idea. There are too many important organs in there and she was a tooth pick, nothing to pad the important things.
In short the movie was literally painful to watch.
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Man-scaping
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Posted:Jun 2, 2015 5:41 pm
Last Updated:Jun 8, 2015 7:31 am
16251 Views
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I was in the shower today getting ready to shave and I started thinking about man-scaping. Not just in the pubic area, but all over. So I thought I would come here and conduct an unscientific poll.
So ladies please tell me do you prefer your guys trimmed up or all natural? I'm talking everywhere. Pubic area, legs, back, chest/front torso, arm puts, facial hair. Inquiring minds want to know what women like.
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T-shirt love
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Posted:May 30, 2015 10:11 am
Last Updated:Jun 8, 2015 7:30 am
15513 Views
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Just a quickie today
I just saw a t-shirt online that says "I'm a hugger" which I have decided I love and might go back and get one. A friend on fet also mentioned a t-shirt that says "I'm just here for the cuddles." Again I say it would be perfect for me and I want one.
What t-shirts have you seen that you think would be perfect for you? Or if you could make a t-shirt to describe yourself what would it look like?
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Geek Night!!
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Posted:May 20, 2015 12:59 pm
Last Updated:May 21, 2015 1:41 pm
15833 Views
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So I said I would try to keep my next post upbeat so I figured I would talk about something that happened recently that I REALLY needed. No I didn't get laid the three plus year drought is still on. So what did I do you ask. I had a small get together at my place.
I had a couple people from the kink community over for a game night. Though the attendance card was changed at the last minute. It was originally supposed to be a married couple coming over to play the Star Trek Catan game. But because of a community activity earlier in the day the husband was too tired to go. So the wife got a friend of hers to agree to come.
So basically I hosted two pretty women to play a geeky game and show off my new apartment. I learned how to play the game, great conversation. Got to know a couple people better and even saw part of a boob. She was checking marks left by a bad rigger from earlier.
But all in all it was a fun night. They marveled at how clean my apartment was. Which led to them jokingly asking why I'm single (apparently the fact that I clean and play geeky games makes me a keeper. ). They are both spoken for by the way.
At the end of the night I was informed that next time I'll have to bring my Firefly game to the married couples place. Yeah I have a lot of geeky games. Star Trek Catan, Firefly, Batman Arkham Escape to name a few.
So here is a question for you. Do you have any "Geeky" games? If so which ones? Or maybe there is one you would like to see made. What would you like to see?
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To link to this blog (hornyguyMN) use [blog hornyguyMN] in your messages.
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