The old pattern continues ...
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Posted:Aug 23, 2016 2:04 pm
Last Updated:May 4, 2024 1:43 am
16312 Views
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***Disclaimer*** This post is going to be another journal entry documenting my failures in the dating realm. If that isn't something you want to read, turn back now or head up to my index and find something more fun to read out of my past writings.
So went I last left you I'd just got back from Vegas and possibly had a date coming up (which never happens for me). At the time I was thinking that maybe the same old pattern wouldn't continue and that I'd at least get a date.
Well I got my hopes up too soon. There was and will be no date and chances are there never was going to be. The basics are that she said she would go out with me and that I should send her a message to set it up (that should have been clue number 1 but I didn't see it at the time). So I sent her a message after I got back from Vegas (like I told her I would). Waited 2-3 weeks and got know response (should have been clue 2). So I sent another, and another 2-3 weeks of silence. Ran into her at an event and let her know that I'd sent her the messages. Too which she said she'd been busy and hadn't been on the site to read them (what clue number are we on now? 3 I think). But I'm gullible and want to believe people. Especially those I have crushes on. Sent her one last message figuring I'd take one last shot since she hadn't told me she changed her mind, and you guessed it nothing.
Saw her an the same event again (the event happens once a month). At the event I realized that we weren't going to be going out. Which upset me, not because she obviously wasn't interested, but because she decided to lie to my face and not be honest with me. After knowing me for years. So when I got home I logged onto fet and did a post about honesty and treating people like they matter.
She apparently saw the post and apologized for not replying and for "upsetting" me or "hurting" my feelings. But never for lying to me, or treating me like I didn't matter. In the message she told me that something "terrible" apparently happened to her "weeks ago" and that she decided she wasn't going to date anyone nor did she want to socialize. Well that is all well and good except the timing didn't add up. Based on posts I saw her make on fet either this terrible thing happened before I asked her out. In which case all she had to do was turn me down at the time and there would have been no problem (I've never, nor will I ever hold it against someone that they aren't interested) her and I would be fine right now. Or it happened after, in which case she likely lied to me about not seeing the message and never bothered to tell me that something happened and she wouldn't be able to go out with me. Again there wouldn't have been a problem had she been honest with me. Instead she opted to ignore me, effectively telling me that my feelings, efforts, time and friendship didn't matter. Her and I have known each other for years.
But she also apparently does like me and think I'm a nice guy. Also saying she would like to continue getting to know me as a friend. Well she has a funny way of showing it. I did respond, saying I was truly sorry that something happened to her and wished her luck in working through it. But saying that I'd been treated like this by women too many times in the past and right now I can't comment further because I'll likely say something I'll regret and neither of us needed that. I also mentioned that as far as getting to know each other as friends, time would tell.
My experience is that when someone treats you like this, chances are they are trying to save face and don't really care much about your feelings. The ones that really are sorry will reach out when things calm down and hurt feelings aren't so fresh. I'm not hopeful but I guess we will see if she really is sorry about what she did. But I wont be holding my breath.
But on the bright side the headache I got from having a heavy piece of metal fall on my head at work yesterday is gone and I have shown no other symptoms of a concussion so that's a plus. (I know that is completely unrelated, but I wanted to end with something a little more positive).
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Return of the strange dreams.
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Posted:Jul 31, 2016 4:01 pm
Last Updated:May 4, 2024 1:43 am
16988 Views
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Some of you who have gotten to know me off site know that I don't always (or should I say rarely) sleep well. And before anyone gets to it. I have been to a doctor once or twice. No reason was ever discovered. I have however found two things that help me sleep. One being total exhaustion, the other being sex (though masturbation doesn't really help). Since I've been having trouble sleeping since high school however my tolerance for exhaustion is pretty high, and I haven't had sex in years. So neither of these help much.
Being that I don't sleep very deeply I'm not sure how that effects my dreams. I know that most people have several dreams a night as they cycle in and out of REM sleep. But not sleeping well, thus possibly missing out on REM sleep I'm not sure what the does to my dreaming. Though I know that I do at least on occasion dream, I usually don't remember much about the dreams themselves. If I have a strong dream I can often take the feeling for the dream into the waking world with me and it effects my mood that day.
On rare occasions however I do remember at least parts of my dreams. These cases are usually few and far between. But in the last couple weeks I have had three of these dreams. So I figured I'd talk about them a bit. I will tell you what I remember of the dreams, which for most of them isn't much. But could be interesting non-the-less.
Dream 1:
In the first dream I was in a cave, looking for a crystal. But not just any crystal, no. I was looking for the type of crystal used in Jedi lightsabers. I was wandering the cave until I found a passage filled with them. I picked one then came across another passage with the two most rare, purple and natural red crystals. I was trying to decide whether to keep the crystal I had or grab one of the more rare ones. Then Mace Windu walked in. That is all I remember.
What I find odd about this one, is that I'm not really a Star Wars fan. I respect the movies and the lore. But nothing put on screen has ever excited me much. But I did go through a phase where I watched a lot of lore videos recently. So maybe the dream is related to that.
Dream 2:
I really don't remember many specifics about this one. Only that I was Deadpool ... as in the marvel character. I was looking for "Frances" just like in the movie and I woke myself up laughing more then once.
Now I am a big Deadpool fan. I love the movie and the comics. But I haven't pick up a comic in a long time, or watched the movie since shortly after the DVD release. So it kinda came out of nowhere.
Dream 3:
Last but not least, this one had me out on some type of date or outing with a woman. I don't recall what we did. But in the end we started kissing and things got steamy. We undressed, pinned her up against the wall and let out a long moan of pleasure as I slid my cock into her. Then .... I woke up. Seriously I can't even get laid in my dreams now. My subconscious woke me up 2 hours before I needed to get up for work.
It's totally understandable that I would dream about sex. After all I literally haven't had sex in years and I've bee horny as hell lately (my poor, poor fleshlight). But it was just cruel of my mind to wake me up then. On top of that, it was a sensation dream. Meaning I actually remember how things felt in the dream. Namely her kiss and sliding myself into her, odd as that might sound.
Well that's all I've got for today. Any thoughts you have on my dreams or just dreams in general I'd be really interested to hear what you have to say.
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Vacation and maybe a date?!?!
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Posted:Jun 27, 2016 3:25 pm
Last Updated:Aug 23, 2016 1:13 pm
17963 Views
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Hi everyone, how've you all been? I hope everyone is doing well. I've been busy, busy, busy. I'm readjusting from one seasonal job to the other. Keeping up with the presidential race, just got back from vacation. Oh and I might have a date soon.
My cousin and I went to Vegas. It was a blast ... hot, very hot, but a blast. Hey give me a break I'm from Minnesota, I'm used to a cold climate. I feel like I'm going to melt when it's constantly over 100 degrees.  We did a lot of sight seeing, saw the WWE pay per view and a burlesque show called pin up while there. I would have liked to have gotten to go into the Bellagio and another place or two. I would have liked to have gotten to talk to Pete Rose (he was signing autographs while we were there). But they wanted far to much for an item for him to sign. We came across a small picture area called "The Dark Room" which had models you could take some fetishy pictures with. I thought it was interesting. My cousin not so much. And the below picture is just something I got a kick out of since I'm part of the local BDSM community.
In other news I might actually have a date soon. I know, hell might have actually frozen over. I asked someone out before leaving for vacation and she said yes, and to send her a message so that we could work out the details. Me being me forgot to ask for her number before leaving when I asked her out (hey lay off I'm really bad at this okay). Which means I need to rely on sending her a message on fet. And I haven't heard back yet. Starting to wonder if I will. So it's still unclear how it will go. But cross your fingers for me.
So how has everyone else been? No big question of the day. Comment as you will.
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Super .... sex
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Posted:May 17, 2016 5:38 pm
Last Updated:May 29, 2016 7:27 pm
17992 Views
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Let's have some fun tonight shall we. I picked up the Deadpool DVD the other day and of course I watched it. Minor spoilers for an R rated super hero movie .... there's a sex scene. Somewhere in the back of my mind this made me think, which super folks would I have sex with? Who would I avoid like the plague? And why? So here is what I came up with. Just to be clear I'm talking heroes and villains. Anyone with super powers.
- Wonder Woman is a definite yes. There is a chance that she might crush me true. But she is intense and focused. All I can think of is how intense and almost furious the sex would be.
- I've always had an unexplainable thing for Psylock. I really can't explain this one, she just hits all the yes centers in my head.
- Spider-Woman. Think about having a lover who could manipulate pheromones. Want to go another round, but need time to recoup? All she would have to do is whip up a dose of the right pheromone cocktail for you and your ready to go again.
Quake, aka Skye, aka Daisy Johnson from Agents of Shield. I don't know I just keep thinking there has to be a way to use those vibration powers for sex.
Half the women from Tenchi Muyo.
Ryoko - She seems like a hedonist to the core, and judging from comments in the OVA, I'm guessing she might be into BDSM. 
Ayaka - Deflowering the princess anyone?
Washu - She is literally a God. If anyone is going to know sex.
Now onto the no's.
She-Hulk - I'm sorry she would break me like a boy (inside joke, based on an internet video I saw). Not to mention I couldn't get over ketchup being green when they did it for a promotion of the Hulk. I don't think I could handle a green pussy.
I'm defiantly staying away from any speedsters. I like my sex to last a little while.
Killer Frost. While you know what they say about crazy in bed. But there is shrinkage with cold, so someone who radiates ice, no thanks.
Poison Ivy - Ummm kissing her would kill me and I like kissing way too much to give it up.
Jean Grey - I know she's probably normal for the most part. But what if her split personality comes out. I don't feel like becoming a piece of phoenix dust.
So there are a few of mine. How about you? What super people would you like a roll in the hay with?
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Vegas and other updates.
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Posted:May 8, 2016 6:34 pm
Last Updated:May 14, 2016 11:35 am
17118 Views
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How's everyone doing tonight? I hope everyone is doing well. This post might be a little all over the place. I really need to refocus this blog. But here are some updates since my last post.
In my last post Scammy, scammy, scammers I talked about phone calls from "windows technical support." They called another time or two after that. The last time I managed to piss them off something royal. I haven't heard from them since. Fingers crossed that I don't hear from them again. But then every time I piss them off they take a couple weeks off then start calling again. So we'll see what happens.
In dating news ... well there really isn't much. Though I did get an email from someone of fet who says she is interested. But the messages are so sporadic, I don't know how interested she actually is. There is also the fact that she is over 10 years my junior. I'm not sure how I would feel about that. We'll just have to wait and see I guess. With my track record though it might not matter, because women tend to pull vanishing acts on me about this time. I know I sound like a bit of a downer on this topic. But with my track record I've learned to be a little skeptical.
Lastly, I'll be going to Vegas in a little over a month. This will be my second trip to Vegas. My first trip was with a group from here in February of 2011 I think. If anyone wants to read about that blogger bash you can find an index of my posts on it Traveling Adventures Index
This trip will be a vanilla one however. I'll be going with my cousin. Best part is that his employer is paying for most of it. It should be fun, and I'll have time to see some things I didn't get to see my first time around.
So that is it for this update post. Have any of you been it Vegas? Is there anything I should make a point of seeing or doing while there? Is there anything interesting happening in your lives you'd like to chat about?
Just because I can here is a picture of the beautiful Paris Kennedy.
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Scammy, scammy, scammers
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Posted:Apr 27, 2016 8:08 pm
Last Updated:May 8, 2016 6:09 pm
17301 Views
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No I'm not talking about good ol' VisionPersonals.com. I'm talking about those guys (and sometimes women) who call claiming to be from "Windows technical support." I got two calls from them just today. I go through phases where they call a lot. Thing is I know what their doing. I used to get upset with them and even yell at them through the phone. But I've since decided to just have fun with them. Heck the more time I keep them on the line with me the less time they have to possibly swindle someone who might fall for their bs.
Today's calls were pretty noneventful. I played along for a bit, before breaking it to them that they called someone who isn't falling for the crap. But I did make videos, if you're friends with me on FB or twatter you can see them. But the time before this (about 3 weeks or so ago) I made one of them so mad he asked me if I had blood or "shit" running through my veins.
Have you ever gotten calls from these piss heads? Or maybe the guys who claim to be the IRS? How do you deal with them?
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How long is too long?
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Posted:Apr 6, 2016 9:16 am
Last Updated:May 9, 2016 10:54 am
17518 Views
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How long is too long to wait for sex/play? I saw this question posted in a group tonight and it got me thinking about how my opinions have changed on this topic in recent years.
I know this is an odd question. I mean when you're ready to have sex or play, then do it right? Simple as it sounds, it isn't always that simple. It takes two to be ready and consent to it and some people take longer to get ready then others.
When I first entered the community I had a hard rule about sexual things. I had to know someone for at least a month before I was willing to have sex with them. My thinking was that this would give me time to make sure that they were actually interested in me and I in them. I never have been a fan of one night stands, so this was my way of trying to avoid them. You also have to keep in mind that at the time, I never had a relationship. Heck I had only ever gotten a second date once at this point. So I'm not terribly experienced in navigating these types of relationships.
Fast forward a few months and now I'm having to put that rule to the test. Good lord that was hard (no pun intended). There was more then one time I almost gave in before that month was up. But I needed to be sure it wouldn't just be a one night stand. Not to mention it had been over a year, there was some performance anxiety going on.
Am I sorry we waited for that month before grinding our naughty bits together? No not really. I am sorry if there were needs of hers I wasn't meeting for that month. But over all I feel that month was used well getting to know each other. Besides I wasn't used to being intimate with someone and needed time to normalize it. Otherwise I risked freaking my self out.
Now skip ahead to around a year after the first relationship ended. I start dating someone new. So I figure that the same one month rule will work this time as well. So that month comes and goes, my advances are turned away. Okay no problem she isn't ready. Don't want to force her into anything. More times goes by, same story. More time same story. Over this time I'm noticing that my mood is getting generally worse. It took me a little over a year to realize why this was. While there were some vanilla life factors towards the end that played a roll in my mood. Things like my Mom getting sick and passing away. But all things considered what I realized was that I was in a poor mood because my needs weren't being met in anyway. Now I'm a pretty patient guy. I'm willing to wait for people, this can be a blessing and a curse. This was one of those times it wasn't a good thing because a year was just too long. It was at this point I decided that I was not going to wait that long again. I want the other person to be ready, but I'm not going to put a stopper on my own needs anymore like I had in the past when waiting on people to make up their minds about sex or in some cases just dates.
So how long is too long for me? Judging from my limited experience I would likely still be willing to give someone two maybe three months. Which is still a lot longer then many people would wait I'm sure. But that is about how long it takes for it to start really getting to me and frustrating me that my needs aren't being met. But still not so long that I turn into a ball of frustration like I did when I waited over a year then deciding if things weren't going to change it needed to end. Am I saying this is a hard absolute number? No, just an average guideline. Given the right circumstances I might wait longer, or I might not wait that long. I've also decided that I won't hold that one month rule as a hard limit anymore. While it will still likely be the goal, if things call right it doesn't have to take that long. Not to mention as of when I'm writing this, I haven't done anything sexual in years. Soooo that's likely to make me a bit antsy when I do find a perspective new partner.
I'm curious, what are your thoughts? What is too soon? What is too long to wait? Is there such a thing?
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April Fools
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Posted:Apr 2, 2016 3:54 pm
Last Updated:Apr 3, 2016 12:02 pm
16998 Views
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I put some thought into an idea for an April Fools day post. But the more I thought about it, the more I kept coming back to "what would the punch line be?
Could I tell everyone I was closing up shop? Well at this point I'm not posting much anyways, so that wouldn't be much of a trick ... not to mention in part, because of my near inactivity I don't have much of a readership these days.
Tell you all about the awesome sex I had last night .... that really didn't happen because I was working all day and night. Not to mention the fact that I'm still without a partner.
Maybe I could make some kind of make a political joke about Donald Trump running for president and actually being in the lead in the Republican primaries ... Oh wait that joke is actually happening. I suppose I could have tied to get the idea over that he picked Vince Mcmahon to be his VP. But I'm not evil, so why would I spread that night terror.
The list of bad ideas goes on. But the truth is I never have been very good at pranks. Always worried I'll accidentally take something too far. So it is easier to just avoid them.
The closest I ever got to an April fools joke was in high school. My friend and I were TAing for the same teacher the same hour. The second have of the period he had hall duty. So my friend and I decided to rearrange his room pointing all the desks to face the center of the room instead of the front of the room. Told you I was bad at this.
But what about you? Have you pulled off any good pranks? How about ones that went wrong?
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V-Day
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Posted:Feb 14, 2016 3:59 pm
Last Updated:Feb 24, 2016 11:51 am
19013 Views
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So anyone who has fallowed this blog for long enough or knows me in real life knows my hatred for Valentines day and why I feel that way. I could go into the history of the holiday and the ridiculousness of it. But this year I think I'll do this instead ....
I hope all of you with partners had a happy Valentines day with them and were made to feel loved, important and thought about. Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to go into hiding until it's over.
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Stood up
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Posted:Feb 10, 2016 3:00 pm
Last Updated:Feb 17, 2016 3:21 pm
19976 Views
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So I've posted in the past about this woman I got in contact with via tinder. Well that may have come to a head last night. Here are the cliff notes to catch everyone up.
- Late November I started chatting with this woman on tinder.
- We've been talking multiple times a week since.
- Two weeks ago (Late January) we planned to meet. She cancelled saying she was called into work.
- Last week (early February) we had to cancel because there was a blizzard covering our part of Minnesota.
This brings up to last night. We were set to meet (third times a charm right). Well I got there at 4. We were supposed to meet in a coffee shop between 4 and 4:30. A little after 4:30 I figure she is running late or snuck in since a couple people came in who I didn't get a good look at. So I text her where I'm sitting and what I I'm wearing. Figuring that if I missed her she would know where to look. I think I see someone check there phone, but not sure. 5 comes and goes ... When 5:30 hits I decide I'm out. So I send her a text saying I'm leaving and that I have been waiting for an hour and a half.
So I hear nothing from her last night. This afternoon on my break I send another text just asking if we can talk because I want to know what happened last night. She finally replied. Apparently she just chickened out and never came in the coffee shop. She made it sound like she drove up there and never got out of her car. Though I'm still not sure she isn't the woman who I didn't get a good look at. Longish conversation short, she's decided to take a step back and maybe leave me alone for awhile. And that's the last I heard. I wrote back telling her I wouldn't chase if she wanted to step back and that I would let her decide when/if we chatted again.
So there it is. Stood up again. Still haven't been on a date in about 2 years, haven't had sex in nearly 4 years. That shows no signs of changing soon. And people wonder why I have such low confidence with women and dating.
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Sometimes it feels like cosmos is trying to keep me celibate.
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Posted:Feb 3, 2016 7:34 pm
Last Updated:May 4, 2024 1:43 am
19466 Views
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So a quick update. Thanks to tinder I have been talking to a woman who has expressed interest in becoming a fwb. So we planned a coffee date for last week. She got called into work. No big deal we just need to reschedule. So a couple days later we set up another date for this week. It should have been yesterday in fact. But the thing is here in Minnesota we had just short of blizzard conditions cover half the state yesterday. So we had to cancel again. We have yet to reschedule again, but I'll probably talk to her in the next few days and bring it up. If I didn't know better I would think something was cock blocking me on purpose.
Okay frustration let out. Thanks for listening, hope you all have a great night,
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2016 New Years Resolutions
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Posted:Dec 31, 2015 6:57 pm
Last Updated:Jan 10, 2016 11:19 am
19281 Views
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I should start this off by saying that I hate, hate, HATE New Year's resolutions. Let's face it they rarely ever seem to come to pass. We do well with them for a couple weeks or even months then laps back into skipping out on the gym or eating all that yummy food that is terrible for us. Because of this I haven't made a resolution since my college years.
Why write this? Because I think I'll be making a couple this year. More specifically I'll be making one that has two or three parts to it. Since they are things I'm already trying to do and haven't had much luck at I figure I'm not jinxing it by calling them resolutions.
Resolution 1: Date more.
I haven't been on a date since March of 2014. Since then I have asked a few people out each year and been turned down (or not given and answer which is another way of saying no). Since dating more is a goal, that means asking more people out. Which is hard for me (introvert problems), but I need to get better at it. I also need to be more willing to accept help from friends with this. I have a habit of being stubborn and thinking I should be able to do it on my own.
Resolution 2: More sex.
Let's just say I haven't had sex in a long time. This needs to change, I never have been a fan of celibacy. So if I go on more dates I figure sex is more likely to happen, with luck I'll find a steady date or two that will also turn into a regular sex life .... that would be awesome.
Resolution 3: More Kinky play time!
Again I haven't done a scene since early in 2013, so yeah again this needs to change. I've done what I can to soak up as much knowledge about my preferred kinks, now I need more hands on experience with them to get better. But I often see myself as being stuck in a catch 22. I need to find a partner to get better, but people want to play with someone who is already skilled so I need to be better to get a partner ... yikes it makes my head hurt.
So those are my goals for the next year, will they come to pass? Only time will tell. But in order to have a chance I know I need to get better at putting myself out there and picking up when someone might be interested (I suck at both). So we'll see how I do this year.
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Yearly Question
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Posted:Dec 23, 2015 7:37 am
Last Updated:May 4, 2024 1:43 am
18514 Views
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Short and sweet today, I ask this every year.
Die Hard, is it a Christmas movie yes or no? I want to hear your opinions.
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To link to this blog (hornyguyMN) use [blog hornyguyMN] in your messages.
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