Being on bottom
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Posted:May 27, 2013 9:53 am
Last Updated:Jun 12, 2013 12:17 pm
24273 Views
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The other night I was thinking about some of my past sexual encounters. Specifically positions I had done (not a long list if I'm being honest). While I was thinking about it I noticed something interesting. Any time I've been on the bottom the woman hasn't seemed to enjoy it much. I admit the sample size is rather small as I have only been on the bottom twice, and both times was only for a short time before switching to another position (or the woman hopped off and went down on me).
I admit I'm not a big fan of being on bottom anyways. I don't feel terribly comfortable down there. A lifetime of wrestlers training is screaming at me to get off my back anytime someone is on top of me (one more reason I prefer to be on top).  Which may well have been part of it. But it still got me wondering if there was a reason they might not have enjoyed that position. So what I would like to know is what are your thoughts in being on bottom during sex? Any tips for a guy when he is down there?
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Masturbatory conundrum
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Posted:May 23, 2013 1:43 pm
Last Updated:Jun 5, 2013 7:04 pm
24512 Views
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I came to an odd realization the other night. That being masturbation (also known as an SPS which is short for self pleasure session) just doesn't do it for me anymore. Although that would be a bit of an understatement. I used to look forward to the nights I got to have an SPS. This weekend I came to the realization that I almost dread doing it. More often then not it has been making the cravings for sex and intimacy worse.
I know it sounds crazy to some of you. This doesn't mean that my sex drive has gone down. If anything it is going up, or it just seems like it because I'm avoiding masturbating. But I have found more and more as time goes by it isn't the release of an orgasm that I crave. It's the intimacy with another person that I want. Masturbation doesn't provide that. Again this doesn't mean I don't want/crave/need sex. I'm certainly not going to tell my new lady friend that I'd rather cuddle then have sex.
So has anyone else hit the point where masturbation doesn't cut it? How do you deal with it when it does happen?
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Baseball movies
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Posted:May 19, 2013 1:45 pm
Last Updated:May 29, 2024 8:53 pm
23571 Views
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Those that have been following my blog long enough may remember that I am a big baseball fan. Well this love of the game also translates into the movies. Today the Minnesota Twins are doing a tribute to "The Sandlot" which got me thinking about my favorite baseball movies. So here are my favorite baseball movies, what are yours?
1. League of their own
2. Field of dreams
3. Major League
4. Bad News Bears (the original with Walter Matthau)
5. Mr. Baseball (I loved the contrasts between the way we play the game in America and the way it was looked at in Japan)
6. The Sandlot
7. Hardball
8. Rookie of the year.
9. Angels in the outfield (the remake based around the Angels, never saw the original based around the Pirates)
10. Little big League (this movie wasn't that good, but my cousin, dad and I were all extras in the game. We were in the crowd during the final game of the move against the Mariners and it was about the Twins for a change).
When I eventually do see 42 that might totally uproot this whole list, but we will see.
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Another random update post
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Posted:May 13, 2013 7:00 pm
Last Updated:May 29, 2024 8:53 pm
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I know I have been quiet for the last week. Guess I haven't had much I felt was worth saying. That and I've been battling an ear issue. Felt good at the end of last week, but then yesterday it just blew up on me again. So right now I type this and my ear is killing me.
For those of you interested about my last post. The play date went well. No sex, we kinda ran out of time as she had to get up around 5 am for work the next morning. But I did get to do some rope work. Specifically my first rope corset. Needs a little work but it turned out pretty good. I also delivered a few spankings, which she said were good and had a nice content smile on her face when I finished. I'm hoping that I will get the chance to give her a proper so long before she goes out of time to visit family. But if not I'll have to just make sure we make a welcome back date for when she returns.
Well that's about it for tonight. No attempts at deep thoughts as my ear is throbbing. Time to take a couple aspirin and hope they dull it enough for me to get to sleep all night.
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Wish me luck
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Posted:May 6, 2013 12:52 pm
Last Updated:Jul 10, 2013 10:54 pm
24258 Views
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I don't like to jump to conclusions. But when the woman your dating sends you a text message asking if you can get together this week and to bring your toys (especially your rope). That doesn't leave a lot of room for interpretation. Sounds like I have a play date Thursday.
I haven't done much play of any kind in awhile, especially rope. I haven't really done anything with my rope in a good year. If things go that way (and I hope they do) I also haven't had sex in a year. So wish me luck that it all goes well. I'm going to keep getting more and more nervous as the week goes on I think.
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How much is too much?
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Posted:May 3, 2013 6:24 pm
Last Updated:May 5, 2013 12:19 am
24108 Views
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Ok after that rant in the last post I want to get to a more interesting topic (or so I hope).
So last nights munch topic was about how much sex is too much at kink parties. Since it is rare that there is any type of intercourse at these things. That got me thinking, is there an amount of sex in general that is too much? Have you ever had sex too many times?
If there is a point that is too much, I haven't found it yet. But then I've had very little sex in my life. The most I have had is three times in twenty four hours. Had we not needed to check out of the hotel or the second one not ended at 3 or 4 in the morning there likely would have been more that night as well.
So I ask for you, how much is too much? Is there such a thing?
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Awkward moments anger me
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Posted:May 3, 2013 6:16 pm
Last Updated:May 4, 2013 12:35 am
24013 Views
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Warning this will be a rant. If you don't want to read a rant skip this post and move onto the next one. I'm going to follow this post up right away with a topic that I hope will be more interesting. But last night I was put in a very awkward position (purely by accident, well for the most part). But the whole thing left a bad taste in my mouth. Given part of this is that I can't read other peoples minds so maybe it was just awkward for them and it was just handled poorly all around.
Let me set the scene for you. Personally I have been feeling off in social situations for about a week. I'm introverted to begin with and lately I have been crawling further into my shell, not exactly sure why not that it is important for this story. But I got together with my new lady friend last night and we went to a munch together. We got there a little early (I love good traffic). So my lady friend doesn't know many of the people at this group, and there weren't many people there when we arrived. So wanting her to feel as comfortable as possible I let her pick where we sat (personally I just would have looked for someone I knew or picked an empty table and waited to see who would sit with me). She made a B-line for the only table with someone she knew. Thing is that is the same table my ex (you all remember Kittie right) and her new gf were sitting.
They had some open seats so that is where we sat. This was awkward in more then one way for me. The first being that I haven't been this close physically to Kittie in a long time, and yes I do still care and have feelings for her. That one I can deal with, it is still going to be awkward for me but it is a familiar type of awkward if that makes any sense.
Here is the part that made me mad as the night went on. Only one person at the table even acknowledged our presence, well ok almost two. So at this table to my left is J. A moderator of the group, good friend of Kitties and one of the few people from the time I was with Kittie who still talks with me on a regular basis (and probably the only one from the group who took the time to get to know me at all with the exception of Kittie herself), to his left his gf B (who is also a moderator of the local 18-35 group), to her left E (who is B's bottom, a moderator for this group and Kitties gf) and next to her Kittie who is also a moderator of this group, later in the night C showed up (he is Kitties top and one of the moderators of the local spanking group).
My lady friend knows J and B a little that is why she picked those seats. She asked if they had open seats and J was the one to answer yes. For the rest of the night the only one at the table that seemed to notice were there was J. He would talk with us on and off, but the majority of the conversation was inside talk between the other people there (given an hour of it was a moderated discussion, but there was an hour of social time before the talk and social time after). Now E did look our way at one point like she was going to say something but then seemed to decide not to. But it was obvious to me that my lady friend was feeling a bit excluded at the table, as was I. I tried to keep her "entertained" seeing the problem. But I was fighting my own awkward issues from that seating and others that had been going on for a week, there was only so much I could do.  On a side note we did fine on the drives when we were alone.
Now I know and understand that a few people at that table have issues with me. Kittie and I have a history, fine I understand her not wanting to talk with ME. I don't like it, but I get it. B has been an ice queen to me since I met her over a year ago. She only really talked to me once unless I asked a specific question about something (that time was the first night I met her the only none ice queen night). But when I was with Kittie I just assumed I was missing something and let it slide. But I get it, she has some kind of issue with ME. She never took the time to get to know me, her loss. I don't know how much E knows about Kittie and I, but I get the feeling she knows I do care about Kittie and does occasionally make an effort to include me at things when I'm a bit of an odd man out. But I can understand where that could be awkward for her as well. I've never been sure where C stood with me. He was nice to me when Kittie and I were together, but has gone almost out of his way to avoid me since the break up, to the point of saying hi to everyone at a table at the munch he moderates except me, or saying hi and leaving as quick as possible after. So he probably feels awkward or has an issue of some type with ME (I don't know which and don't want to guess). I get it.
I understand the issues with me, which is why I don't sit near their table when I can avoid it. But with the exception of J (who was the one that suggested I approach my lady friend in the first place) they excluded her as well as me. That is what pisses me off. They are "leaders" of this group and others. They are supposed to be the first ones to welcome new people and make them feel welcome. I hate to think that she was being essentially ignored because she was there with me.
To be fair I do admit that Kittie was running around doing moderator things on and off during the social time. But when she was there she was defiantly part of the issue. Maybe it was awkward for her and E as well having me and the woman I've been dating at the same table as them, I can understand that. Not that it totally excuses it, but I would understand it. I realize that I have also been stewing on this since last night. I may be projecting my personal awkward feelings toward the situation onto what my date seemed to be reacting to. And because of that I my mind could be exaggerating curtain things.
I know I shouldn't dwell on it, but I can't help but wonder if they would have treated her the same way had she been with one of her other partners (she is poly by the way). But I don't know which option is more problematic for my mind. If it is because she was with me she was basically ignored or if they would have acted the same way no matter who she was with. I don't remember that group being that exclusive when I was part of it. But then maybe that is because I will talk with anyone that treats me like a person so it seemed like more people were being included then they would have otherwise.
Which ever it was, by the end of the talk we were both ready to leave. It's probably a good thing that I wont be seeing any of them until at least Sunday because I am not in the mood right now and the wrong word or cross look might end badly.
If something strikes you as being worth commenting please do. All comments on this blog will be kept private so nothing you say will go public unless you tell me you want it to.
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Wrong kind of anniversaries
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Posted:Apr 30, 2013 7:33 pm
Last Updated:May 3, 2013 11:08 pm
23902 Views
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You'll have to forgive me in this post. I have a couple of the wrong type of anniversaries around this time of year and had WAY too much time alone this weekend to think about them. Which made my introversion kick in when I was around someone else, it's a nasty cycle.
Anyways, the one that has already passed is my sexaversary. Meaning that I haven't had sex with anyone other then my hand in a year. Which is also part of the reason that things are getting too me so much, I'm freaking horny with no real outlet (masturbation can only do so much and gets old after awhile and eventually makes it worse because what your really craving is the intimacy).
However this is hardly the longest I've gone without sex. I once had a nearly 8 year dry spell, though I just round it down to seven years. I actually averaged out how many days there are between sexual encounters for me (this is not including make out sessions or one sided oral only days, so I didn't count the times I got a blow job or went down on a woman and that was the end of it for the day or none sexual kink activities such as flogging).
I average 370.85 days between sexual encounters. Too bad Lulu isn't around anymore as much as she hates math the stats would be her thing. That averages is also lowered because I factored in that kitty and I once had sex 3 times in under 24 hours so I broke all of those into decimals. Counting those as one since they were only a few hours apart jumps it up to over 490 days.
The other one I wont talk much about. But in one week from tomorrow (May 1st ) marks the one year point since kittie broke up with me out of the blue. It is bringing up old insecurities that I thought I had sent packing when I started dating again.
Sorry I know this has been a downer post. I have an idea for my next post that will hopefully be more thought provoking if nothing else.
So if your up for sharing, what is the longest you've ever gone without sex? What is the most sex you've had in the shortest amount of time?
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Movie night
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Posted:Apr 25, 2013 7:36 pm
Last Updated:Apr 29, 2013 8:07 am
24137 Views
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So something rare is happening this weekend. I have a chance to have someone over. For those that don't know my living situation is less then ideal. I live with blood relatives and don't have much privacy at all. Which means that bringing someone home is virtually undoable. Even if it is just to watch a movie or something (I literally live in a walk in closet with a twin bed).
But tomorrow night for a while, then Saturday night into Sunday I will basically have the house to myself. So naturally yesterday when I found this out I asked the woman I've been seeing if she would like to come over Saturday night and watch a movie or something. She has to work until 8 o'clock that night so it is up in the air if she will be up for it or not (she also has to work the next day, I'm not sure when she has to go in, though). But we will see if she can or not. Heck I even offered to cook. I hope that is an incentive, but then she has never tasted my cooking (or attempts at cooking before ).
I'm getting off topic here. So refocusing. I have a decent selection of movies and a streaming movie service that I'm not sure if I can name here or not so I wont even try, but it starts with an N and has a red background. So I'm sure we can find a movie or two to watch. If nothing else I have board games or we can play a strip card game ... ok maybe not that last one yet. But I can dream can't I? 
So here is my question. Your first at home movie night with someone new (it's been about a month for us). What movie or movies would you want to watch with him or her? Any special reason for that movie choice?
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How long do you wait?
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Posted:Apr 16, 2013 3:12 pm
Last Updated:Apr 26, 2013 8:30 pm
25473 Views
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I'm wondering, assuming you meet someone and things go well. How long do you wait to have sex with them? Do you have a set amount of time that you typically try to wait before making that decision?
While there are exceptions I typically try to wait about a month before I sleep with someone. I like to have a connection with my sex partners and waiting that month gives me time to make sure it's there and I'm not just a horny mess giving into a primal urge that I will regret.
I've been thinking about this because that mark is coming up with the woman I have been seeing (friday I think will be the actual one month mark since our first date). I know I'm ready at this point (it has also been almost a year since I've had sex). And the last time I saw her she kept telling me I should go because the roads were bad (it snowed again) but then I would go to go and she would start kissing me again. So maybe if I'm lucky mother nature wont go cock blocking me Thursday when we are getting together again for a munch.
Okay I did more rambling then I wanted but the question still stands how long do you typically wait?
***EDIT****
It has come to my attention that I was in too much of a hurry to get this post up before leaving to go somewhere. As a result I didn't do a good job of explaining something which may misrepresent someone.
So it seems that my description of the kissing may have made it sound like she was telling me to leave then purposefully keeping me from going. Which wasn't the case. It was more of a situation where I would kiss her goodbye and neither of us pulled away so the kissing continued. Sometimes it was me initiating the continuation of the kissing and sometimes it was her. But there was always a pause where it was either pull away or start kissing her again. I hope that adds a little clarity. It sounded like I made it appear that I was walking out the door and she was grabbing me and pulling me back. But that isn't the case.
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"Sub Frenzy"
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Posted:Apr 12, 2013 9:19 am
Last Updated:Aug 16, 2013 4:56 am
24145 Views
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Do any of you know the term? I just learned of it about a month ago. Those that run in bdsm circles are more likely to know the term then those that don't. Sub Frenzy is when a new submissive finds their way into a bdsm group or community and just want to jump in head first and do everything. On occasion this is accompanied by said sub getting themselves into unsafe situations.
Why am I bringing this up here you might ask. Well I think I might be on the end of someones sub frenzy. Last weekend I went to a kinky and social group outing to a movie theater (we saw the new Evil Dead movie). At this event was someone I never met before, I found out after that fact she has only been in the community for a few weeks. She seems to have latched onto me as the object of her submissive fantasies.
This has been accompanied by several messages daily. I have explained to her that I am just starting a relationship with someone else (which will be a poly relationship by the way). Despite telling me that poly is not something she is interested in she keeps coming at me.
She is new and excited I get that. But it is setting off the parts of my brain that were triggered by the clinger a couple years ago. I'm not sure if that is because of her or because I've always had trouble getting a date let alone have one budding relationship and another woman obviously chasing me. The extra attention is just too much. It also freaks me out a little that some of the things she says eco things that kittie would say.
I guess I'm not sure what to feel about this. In a way it is probably good that she latched onto me and not one of the douche bag wannabe Dom's that are around. As I wouldn't take advantage. But I'm still not sure I'm someone that should be latched onto like that. Before anyone asks I really don't know her well enough to have much of an opinion. But I'm thinking next time we are at the same event her and I might have to have a talk about relaxing and just seeing if things happen or not rather then trying to force them.
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Oh what a night ...
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Posted:Apr 4, 2013 10:40 pm
Last Updated:Aug 15, 2013 11:46 pm
24168 Views
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I wish that title meant I had awesome sex with the woman I've been seeing, but nope. Given I also didn't have bad sex with her, there was no sex at all (not that I expected any, but we are on a sex site so I figured I should mention sex ).
So the original plan was: I was supposed to meet her at a local mega mall, she was going to go dress shopping and I was going to provide the feedback as a guy (never been dress shopping before so I teasingly told her she would be breaking my dress shopping cherry). After shopping we were going to go to a munch, then I would take her home. Simple plan right, what could go wrong?
So I was pulling into the mall ramp, found myself a parking space and my car died as I was pulling into it (literally). Good thing I got there early so I had time to come up with a couple plans. I tried a couple things to get a different vehicle there, but they all fell through (meanwhile I had kept the woman I was meeting up to date via text).
So I end up meeting her and letting her know I would probably have to call a tow truck but I did have a vehicle that could meet us at the mechanics shop and that I could use for the rest of the night if she still wanted to go to the munch. The alternative would have been letting her get back on the bus after shopping and then calling the tow truck. So we went with plan A which would allow us to both get to the munch.
So we did the shopping, which was nice to get to see her in a few cute dresses. Not sure how much help I actually was in picking anything out, but between my car and it being my first time dress shopping yeah ...
After which I called the tow truck and was told it could be there anytime within the next hour and that I would get a call when they were on their way. So her and I went to a game store in the mall. Until we got a call saying that the truck was there by my car (we were on the opposite side of the mall). So we high tailed it over to my car (meanwhile getting a call from the driver as well).
So we got my car towed my my mechanics place (was was closed by the way). And who was there to meet us but my mother (the ride I had arranged for). So here is my mother picking up a woman I met in the local poly/bdsm community and me so that I can take said woman to a munch. Keep in mind my mother doesn't know that I am in a poly/bdsm community. So it was a bit awkward for me (and probably her the woman to). Not how I want someone to meet my mother that's for sure.
So we dropped my mom off at home and headed out for the munch. the munch was scheduled as being 7-9. From 7-8 is social time then from 8-9 is the discussion. We got there about 8:10 so not too bad all things considered. We had dinner and listened to the discussion (it was about how you choose a play partner).
After the discussion we talked to people for about a half hour then I took her home. As usual I walked her up to her apartment (done that every time I've taken her out). Kissed her good night and went on my way.
After getting home I had to talk around questions about her since mom wanted to know. But from what I can tell my mom seems to like her. And she (I'm really going to need to consider giving her a nickname for my blog) seems to still want to see me again. I must be doing something right.
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Kissing revisited
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Posted:Apr 1, 2013 7:50 pm
Last Updated:Aug 16, 2013 5:00 am
25166 Views
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I know I have talked about kissing a few times before. Most recently I did a post about First Kisses. I have asked what makes a good kisser in Kiss me baby and in numerous posts I've mentioned how much I LOVE kissing.
Recently I had a new first kiss (Just Thursday as a matter of fact) which of course got me thinking about kissing again (like that is hard to do right ). More to the point I noticed something for the first time about how I kiss.
You see even I have noticed that everyone kisses differently. I'm not talking about little pecks, I'm talking about when you really passionately kiss someone. I tend to start off slow and let the intensity build. I use my tongue sparingly and sometimes not at all (depending on who I'm kissing).
But here is the thing I really noticed that had never hit me before. I don't just kiss with my lips, I kiss with my whole body. My hands are involved, my arms,hips and so on. I tend to hold people close when I kiss them, I run my hands through hair. When I get really into a make out session I have a tendency to pull hair (though I try to not do this if I don't know if someone likes it or not). I might hold the woman's hand, or maybe do some light petting of different body parts. Am I kissing you against a wall? If so I may actually put my knee between your legs. I got into this habit because my ex used to actually get weak kneed on me when we would make out standing up (apparently I'm a really good kisser).
So how do you kiss?
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