Property prices are on their way up!!
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Posted:Dec 4, 2005 2:51 pm
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
9397 Views
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How do I know this?? Well, my local rag tells me that we now have a new neighbour. "So what?" I hear you say. Everybody gets new neighbours. Allow me to expand...
Our new neighbour is a legend in the music world. If I said Tubular Bells would you know who I'm talking about? Yep... you guessed right... Mike Oldfield has just become our new neighbour! I wonder how long it will be before Mr Hansen and Mr Oldfield get a chance to chat and swop musical stories???
I'd best go and polish up the silver...
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Colour YOU beautiful...
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Posted:Dec 4, 2005 9:41 am
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
9546 Views
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Hey there, fellow bloggers!!
I've been experimenting with colours this afternoon, as I was getting a bit bored of using my same old colours. Blogging Central have said in their Help blog notes that we can use standard HTML colour names, or HTML "hex values".
Now, unless you happen to have a HTML Programmer's Reference handy (which I do!  ), you're not going to know what these "hex values" are! So, I thought I'd put together a little colour chart for you to use... please feel free to share this amongst other bloggers, if you like!
There are over 200 colours out there, but I'm just going to give you a few...
Remember, all you have to do when you want to add colour to your text is to follow the commands to the left of the blog, using the colour names I've given!
Here are some colours to play with (I have used the bold command to bring out the colours)...
Blues
deepskyblue
indigo
royalblue
turquoise
blueviolet
navy
mediumpurple
Greens
aquamarine
lime
olive
seagreen
darkgreen
Pinks and Reds
hotpink
deeppink
plum
firebrick
magenta
tomato
Yellows
gold
khaki
darkkhaki
Browns
moccasin(moccasin)
chocolate
tan
sienna
HAVE FUN!!!
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What a bird!!!
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Posted:Dec 4, 2005 9:25 am
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
9377 Views
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A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him.
As he sits down, the waitress comes over and asks for their orders.
The man says, "I'll have a hamburger, fries and a coke," and turns to the ostrich, "What's yours?" "I'll have the same," says the ostrich.
A short time later the waitress returns with the order. "That will be $6.40 please," and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.
The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, "I'll have a hamburger, fries and a coke," and the ostrich says, "I'll have the same."
Once again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with the exact change, when the waitress asks for payment.
This becomes a routine until late one evening, the two enter again. "The usual?" asks the waitress. "No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and salad," says the man. "Same for me," says the ostrich.
A short time later the waitress comes with the order and says, "That will be $12.62." Once again the man pulls exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.
The waitress can't hold back her curiosity any longer. "Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change out of your pocket every time?"
"Well," says the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and I found an old lamp. When I rubbed it a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there."
"That's brilliant!" says the waitress. "Most people would wish for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!" "That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there," says the man.
The waitress asks, "One other thing, sir, what's with the ostrich?"
The man sighs, pauses, and answers, "My second wish was for a tall chick with long legs who agrees with everything I say."
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Couldn't have said it better myself...
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Posted:Dec 4, 2005 7:48 am
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
9333 Views
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Thanks to AlbertPrince AlbertPrince's recommendation that I go and read DaphneR DaphneR's blog, I found a little gem that I really think is worth sharing with you. I read her post Friends and afterwards thought "I couldn't have said it better myself". 
When I first joined A F F, the thought that I'd end up making friends (male and female) from this site didn't even enter my head. However, over the past year, that is exactly what I have done, and like DaphneR, I just want to say HOORAY to VisionPersonals.com for all my new friends!!!  Some of you I've met, and some of you I'll hopefully be meeting in 2006, either at the EHT meet, or the Euro Bloggers Convention - AND I AM SO LOOKING FORWARD TO THOSE OCCASIONS!!!
There, I'm done now... you can all go back to what you were doing!
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Colour me beautiful...
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Posted:Dec 4, 2005 5:37 am
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
9274 Views
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Mr Hansen and I celebrate our wedding anniversary days before Christmas, and every year poor Mr Hansen racks his brains about what he should get me for Christmas.
We agreed long ago that wedding anniversaries were ideal times to get things that we both liked/needed for the house, and it's worked pretty well for the last 15 years.
I know that Mr Hansen is going to start asking not-so-subtle questions about what would I like for Christmas, and I've already decided what I'd like!
As some of you may know, the voluptuous Ms Hansen is ditching her Rubenesque figure, and slowly fading away. To coincide with the "new" me, I've decided that I'm going to hand myself over to TRINNY & SUSANNAH (okay, okay, wishful thinking on my part) - make that Trinny & Susannah CLONES and get a complete make-over...
Apologies to the non-UK readers, but how do I possibly explain Trinny & Susannah to you?? All I can say is that these are two women who know how to turn ugly ducklings into lovely swans, WITHOUT resorting to surgery and other drastic measures.
Anyway, back to my clones...
I'm planning to put myself in their hands, and find out whether I've been dressing according to colours that suit my complexion, etc. They may even recommend a new haircut (I can hear Mr Hansen shuddering as I type this), new make-up colours and a new way of dressing...
I'm also planning to treat myself to some new underwear and some new jewellery for my not-so-new piercing!
Now all I need to do is win the LOTTO!
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Forget me not...
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Posted:Dec 3, 2005 9:36 am
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
9189 Views
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Forget me not, I ask of you
Wherever your life takes you to
And if we never meet again
Think of me every now and then.
We had just one day to recall
Now all I want is something more
Than just a fading memory
Left wondering what could have been.
Isn't it a shame, that when timing's all wrong
You're doing what you never meant to,
There's always something that prevents you.
Well, I believe in fate, it had to happen this way
But it always leaves me wondering whether...
In another life we'd be together.
We should feel lucky we can say... we've always got yesterday.
And as I leave it all behind
You're still emblazoned in my mind
And for that very special day
Nobody loved me in that way.
Forget me not, I ask of you
Wherever your life takes you to
And if we never meet again
Think of me every now and then.
L. Silvas
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My first official order has been despatched...
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Posted:Dec 3, 2005 4:51 am
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
9119 Views
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I feel on top of the world today! I walked down to the post office and sent off my FIRST official Helga Hansen Originals order.
Last night I sewed a label onto the scarf, and it felt so weird. I was actually labelling my handiwork, and I was fussing and tut-tutting as I sewed that label on... I wanted it to look perfect! 
So now, it's trundling on its way to the intended recipient, and I only hope that they will be as pleased with their new addition to their winter wardrobe...
Right... more knitting to be done!! 
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You have gone, but I have not forgotten...
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Posted:Dec 1, 2005 11:59 pm
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
9524 Views
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Just when I thought I had escaped my memories of how you had hurt me... because, dammit, you did! And in a childish, peevish way, I hope you hurt too...
Last night, I arrived in the chat room, greeted all those who had greeted me, and then suddenly I noticed his name. Would he say "hello" I wondered? Or would he just vanish, without saying a word, as he had done in the not-too-distant past?
Time passed, and still he remained silent. As each minute ticked by, I resolved that I would not be the one to say "hello" first. After all, I was allegedly the reason why we are no longer friends. According to him, it had been my actions/behaviour that had brought our relationship to an end. But he had never bothered to tell me this at the time... I had had to ask him what the hell was going on, and why was he avoiding me?
Once before, after a similar chatroom "run-in", after I had been told in no uncertain terms I was now "persona non-grata", I had emailed him to say that I wasn't sure how to behave around him, should we be in the same room. He replied saying that he would greet me, as he does have manners, or so he said.
Guess you forgot those words, because after half an hour of lurking, you vanished... and left me fighting a flood of tears, and my mind awash with memories...
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Music can lift the dullest of spirits!!!
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Posted:Dec 1, 2005 11:29 pm
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
9544 Views
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It's dark and grey outside, the rain is pouring down, the man on the radio is telling me it's hell on the roads already... and inwardly, I was starting to groan! 
Whilst eating breakfast I sat down to catch up with all the blogs in Blogville, and decided to listen to my MP3 player instead of Mr Doom 'n Gloom on the radio...
Don Henley's Boys of Summer played first... totally inappropriate at this time of year, but I have always loved that song!!! 
Next up... The Grease Megamix! Now talk about taking a trip down Memory Lane! When Grease first hit the cinema screens, all those years ago, I never got to see the movie. Over the years I, along with milions of others, learned the words to all the songs... but had still never watched the movie! 
One of my little secrets is that I love buying music CDs and I also enjoy buying DVDs... and it was just recently that I spotted Grease, and decided it was time to buy this classic... and sit down and watch it for the first time ever! It was well worth the wait, and I loved watching Olivia Neutron-Bomb strut her stuff with John Travolta.
Master Hansen must have enjoyed it too, as I came home one day to discover him lying on the couch, watching the movie again! I think I need to introduce him to another classic... The Rocky Horror Picture Show!!!
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Poor guy is still a virgin... or is he???
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Posted:Dec 1, 2005 12:00 am
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
9544 Views
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My friend Mary_Xmas was telling me about this email she had from someone just yesterday, and when she read out the guy's name, it rang a distant bell...
Mary has kindly let me use the contents of the email here, as I was just wondering how many other women this guy had sent this email to.  I vaguely remember getting the same email, word for word, months back, and if the bloke is for real, he must be gagging for it!!
Hi
I'm a 24 year old based in south hampshire. I'm looking for someone who can show me a few things about sex. Give me a good introduction so to speak. I say introduction as i'm a virgin. I'm looking for someone who's after a lot of fun, i'm very up for giving it my all and putting in hours and hours of practise
About me, well i'm a little under 6ft, have dair hair, wear glasses or contact lenses. Have a 34" waist. I drive so can travel to you or arrange a nice hotel for some fun. I'm looking for an education so to speak, to spend every moment that is available having fun. Well, that's a little about me. If you'ld like to chat or meet up, then just message me and hopefully we can arrange something fun. Free day or night to meet up.
Would love to meet up as soon as possible
Hoping to hear from you.
Matt
Maybe I've become too cynical in my old age, but guys... are you telling me this approach works?
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And so ends November...
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Posted:Nov 30, 2005 3:56 pm
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
9323 Views
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Before I fall into bed, I just thought I would wish this month and this day goodbye. Tomorrow is 1st December!I sometimes wonder where the time has gone!
In two weeks time I'll be celebrating a full year of uninterrupted A F F membership... no long breaks... just 12 months of highs, lows and lots of excitement in-between. It's been a roller-coaster of a ride, and whilst I wouldn't want to repeat the sad and bad moments, I've enjoyed all the fun moments! I've met some great people in this past year, and I'm looking forward to meeting even more in the coming year.
First... let's get Christmas behind us!
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Karaoke for the ladies...
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Posted:Nov 29, 2005 10:50 am
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
9721 Views
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Ladies, sing this to the tune of I will survive by Gloria Gaynor... it's really good
At first I was afraid,
I was petrified,
When you said you had 10 inches
Lord, I almost died.
But I'd spent so many nights
just waiting for a man that long,
That I grew strong,
And I knew that I could take you on...
But there you are,
Another lie!
I was ready for a Big Mac
and you've brought me a French fry.
I should have known it was so small, just a sad pathetic dream,
I should have known there was no Anaconda
lurking in those jeans.
Go on now go,
Walk out the door,
Don't you promise me 10 inches
then turn up with only 4,
Weren't you a jerk to think I wouldn't notice it pop out,
Don't you know we're only joking when we say size doesn't count?
I will survive,
I will survive,
Cuz as long as I have batteries,
My sex life's gonna thrive,
I will always have good sex
with a handful of latex.
I will survive,
I will survive... hey, hey!
It took all my self control
not to laugh out loud,
When I saw your little wiener
standing small and proud.
But too bad about your ego
and to Hell with all your needs!
Now I'm saving all my lovin'
for a cordless multispeed
Go on now go,
Just make a dash,
Last time I saw a dick that small
I was treating nappy rash.
I should have asked for confirmation, should have asked for pictures, please!
Then I wouldn't have you waving that wee winkie thing at me.
Go on now go,
Just hit the track,
Don't you bring me home no little worm,
I'll always throw them back.
The only thing that I could do with a dick as small as yours,
Is to stick it with a tooth pick
And then call it a hors d'oeuvre!
I will survive,
I will survive,
Cuz as long as I have batteries,
My sex life's gonna thrive,
I will always have good sex
with a handful of latex.
I will survive,
I will survive... hey, hey!
Go on now go,
Get out of my sight,
I'm going back to my appliance,
Cuz I know its length is right,
And if I ever see your tiny pecker peckin' at my door, You'll be counting your 4 inches as you pick them off the floor.
Go on now Go!
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Scared...
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Posted:Nov 28, 2005 11:42 pm
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
9600 Views
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Over the past few months I've been losing weight quite rapidly, and whilst it feels good to be able to dress in smaller clothes, and just generally feel good about yourself, I'm also very scared.
My weight was my shield. I hid behind my volumous girth. I made jokes at my own expense, because I believed that I was simply saying what I thought people were thinking. I told myself that my weight meant I was unattractive, and no man in his right mind would be interested in me. Yes, I'm married, and Mr Hansen can't keep his hands off me, but I simply believed that all husbands were supposed to behave like that.
Now, as I watch the pounds slip away on my scales, I'm panicking. What will I hide behind now? How will I deal with male attention? In the Euro Hot Tub, you'd get the impression that I was a confident, larger than life character... but that's not really me.
I'm really a scared 38 year old woman who believes her looks faded long ago, and despite the best efforts of those who have met me (when I was heavier) to convince me that they haven't, I still believe that. They use words like "sexy", "beautiful", "attractive"... but how can fat be sexy, beautiful or attractive?? My body has more stretchmarks and lines than the average road map, and orange peel doesn't even begin to describe the lumps and bumps on my thighs and backside! I struggled to feel comfortable naked when I was larger - now it's even worse!
So, as I take this journey down to a slimmer me, I wonder how I will face the future. I wonder if I'm meant to be slimmer. Couldn't I just stay the way I am? My doctor thinks not, and at the end of the day, he's right. I'm not doing myself any favours being a "big girl", but dammit... I'm scared!!!
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To link to this blog (helga_hansen) use [blog helga_hansen] in your messages.
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