Helga
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Posted:Apr 7, 2006 12:10 pm
Last Updated:Apr 13, 2007 3:18 am
15032 Views
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Since the middle of the week, I've been feeling my blood slowly boil. It started with an article on my local television news. It was all about the NHS, the UK's famous health service provider.
Now, usually, I'm not one to knock the NHS, because I have had some excellent care in past years, whilst having skin cancer, but as someone who has worked in the financial sector for 20 years, I get a little annoyed when I hear that some of the "trusts" (hospital micromanagement is all the rage with the NHS... it takes the blame off the Department of Health) are going to be cutting jobs "to balance the books". Pardon??? This statement was made on the last day of the country's recognised tax year (that's another quirk... just who would start a tax year on 6th April???)
Now, it's not uncommon to retrench people when a company is struggling, as let's face it, employing people is usually any company's highest cost. But when the people you're planning to sack are the most essential components of the business, does that make sense??? The trusts concerned are planning to retrench nurses, doctors and consultants. Now to me, a hospital is just a building if it doesn't have those nurses, doctors and consultants.
But our hospitals come with extras. Administrative staff, and LOTS of them. Pencil pushers, who are there to make sure hospital trusts reach all sorts of outrageous targets set by a government desperate to be seen to be doing something about an ageing white elephant which is costing the tax payer more and more every year. I don't hear any plans being made to cut their jobs! Most of these pencil pushers are managers, and managers have bigger salaries. So lots of chiefs, and few indians means that salary costs for the administrative staff are quite heavy.
So the trusts have "overspent" and their idea of balancing the books is to cut the staffing numbers. And then promise patients that it WON'T increase waiting times. I'm not just talking about when you sit in a waiting room at the A&E Department, or the X-ray department. I'm also talking about the waiting you go through once you've made a visit to your GP, who feels that he is unable to help with your ailment, and refers you to a specialist. You can wait days.... weeks..... months.... and even YEARS before seeing someone. And I am NOT kidding.
And once you're lucky enough to see said specialist, he/she may decide that you need to have x-rays/MRI scans/biopsies. So you wait again. This cycle repeats itself through the various stages, and some patients even get as far as having surgery scheduled, and then having operations cancelled. And for some, it won't just be once. It can be again, and again, and again.
And they're telling Joe Public that waiting times won't be affected by the lack of staff. Yeah, I'll bet.
Another issue is having to employ agency nurses due to lack of fulltime nursing staff. Now, hands up who doesn't know that nurses are quite poorly paid in the UK? So, because nurses are badly paid by the NHS, they leave. And join agencies. Surely it would make economic sense for nurses to be paid more by the trusts themselves, and cutting out the middle man?? Agencies are not doing this for charity, and are getting a hefty chunk with the placement fees they charge... and the nurses are understandably happy, because they are getting a better salary working for the agency.
So why am I in a huff? I'm not a nurse, or a doctor or a consultant. Neither do I work for a trust. Nope. I'm a patient. A patient who has just received a letter from her consultant, who recently (well, December 2005 actually) arranged for her to go and have an MRI scan, as she has an ongoing problem with her right hip and lower back.
The MRI finally took place mid-March, and then that waiting I was talking about started again. Until today, when I got my letter. No explanation of what was wrong with me. Nope. A letter telling me that an appointment has been made for me, on 18th October 2006.
I you not!!!
Are they hoping my problem will just go away? Are they hoping I'll just forget about the constant pain I am suffering? Are they hoping the pills I take daily will be the cure?
Needless to say, I am NOT a happy bunny, and on Monday, I will be calling my consultant to find out just what is wrong with me. There is no way I am waiting 6 months to find out!!
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Do you remember why YOU are here?
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Posted:Mar 29, 2006 9:46 am
Last Updated:Apr 13, 2007 3:16 am
15760 Views
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Last night I had the chance to catch up with an old girlfriend. We met several years ago, doing the same degree course and within a few weeks of meeting, we became firm friends. There are so many similarities between "M" and I, that we were destined to become pals. We both married young, and our husbands are both 15 yrs older than us. We both had the same thoughts about things, we both said the same things as they entered our heads... truly, it was freaky. We called ourselves "twins", even though I'm two years older than "M", because it sometimes did feel like we'd been separated at birth!!
Time moved on, the course ended, and we each got on with our own lives again. "M"'s marriage had been struggling for some time, and she finally found the courage to leave her husband and venture out into the big, bad world. We drifted apart and every once in a while we'd touch base.
One of those times was early this year, and again we discovered that we were keeping that "twin" thing going... we'd both had a nipple piercing... we were both thinking about getting another... we'd both met a wonderful man... we were both entertaining more delicious thoughts... lol, it was crazy! We laughed when we said that if someone had told us, three years ago, when we first met, that this is where we'd be now, we'd have said they were crazy!!
Last night's chat got me thinking too...
When I first joined A F F, I had been rather unsure of it all. Was it what I wanted? Did I really want to step off the edge into the wide unknown, or was I quite happy simply peering over that edge? At the time of joining, I was fat and happy Helga. Or was I? I rather think I was a fat caterpillar, because since joining I have changed.
There are those critics, with their feet stuck firmly in the mud, who have said they don't like what I have become. And then there are others, who have joined me on my journey, and watched me blossom. They've encouraged me to think about things, experiment with things, cheered me on as I lost weight. Before last year, I'd never considered getting a nipple piercing, let alone a clit piercing, and at the end of the day, does it really matter that I've done these things? I am still the same person inside, it's merely the outer part which is changing and growing (or in my case, shrinking), and having a piercing or two isn't going to make me a slut.
I'm still that same woman who ventured into the chat rooms all those months ago. I'm still the same woman who nervously went to her first meet, and drank coffee and fiddled with her scarf, shaking inside. The only difference now is, I've become confident, I feel sexy and attractive, and I'm really happy now!!
I've been lucky enough to meet some wonderful people (it's not all about sex and yes, it is possible to make female friends in this place too!!), and the two men who have shared (and are still sharing) their lives with me are truly special men. Without their friendship and encouragement, I think I'd still be hovering near that edge, wondering what to do next.
As for those stick-in-the-muds... maybe you need to ask yourselves do you remember why YOU are here?
Some bloggers have been sharing photos of themselves when they were 18. I don't have any photos of me at that age, so I thought I'd share one of me when I was 21
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A Get Well Message for My Spuddy Buddy
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Posted:Mar 28, 2006 11:28 am
Last Updated:Apr 1, 2006 6:30 am
15262 Views
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Dear Spuddy Buddy freetime648,
Just wanted to wish you a speedy recovery, and hope we'll have you back in The Euro Hot Tub doing the Mashed Potato as soon as you're better!!
With love from all your pals
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
***Please feel free to sign Free's Get Well card and show her how much you miss her!
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Crazy...
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Posted:Mar 27, 2006 8:20 am
Last Updated:May 22, 2006 4:04 am
15608 Views
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From the moment I heard this tune on the radio, it's been driving me crazy!
Listen out for Gnarls Barkley's Crazy... I think it's this year's sleeper hit!! It's being released next week Monday. You can listen to it on their website, if you Google the band's name.
And J, sweetie,... once you hear it, you'll know there is no sodding way I'd be able to sing it!!
******************************************************************************
I remember when, I remember, I remember when I lost my mind
There was something so pleasant about that phase.
Even your emotions had an echo
In so much space
And when you're out there
Without care,
Yeah, I was out of touch
But it wasn't because I didn't know enough
I just knew too much
Does that make me crazy
Does that make me crazy
Does that make me crazy
Probably
And I hope that you are having the time of your life
But think twice, that's my only advice
Come on now, who do you, who do you, who do you, who do you think you are,
Ha ha ha bless your soul
You really think you're in control
Well, I think you're crazy
I think you're crazy
I think you're crazy
Just like me
My heroes had the heart to lose their lives out on a limb
And all I remember is thinking, I want to be like them
Ever since I was little, ever since I was little it looked like fun
And it's no coincidence I've come
And I can die when I'm done
Maybe I'm crazy
Maybe you're crazy
Maybe we're crazy
Probably
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Slide Into Me...
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Posted:Mar 27, 2006 2:37 am
Last Updated:Mar 30, 2006 2:26 pm
14986 Views
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Slide into me
Feel my warmth
As I surrender
Deep into me
Catch me now
Love me tender
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364 Days Later... Well, Sort Of!
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Posted:Mar 27, 2006 12:57 am
Last Updated:Mar 30, 2006 8:05 am
14921 Views
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A year ago, I ventured into Blogville. Tiptoed, actually. It was a very new place back then. Everywhere you went in the chat rooms, people were talking about "blogging". I was clueless, so I went and had a peek.
After peeking, I dipped my toes in the water too, and wrote a few pieces. I wasn't sure it was something I was going to be doing regularly. I'm one of those private people that keeps her thoughts buried in her head. Yes, I have revealed some private thoughts over the last year, but there is so much more about me, Helga, that none of you know.
Anyway, back to the blog thing. Shortly after I started blogging, I had a falling out with someone. Someone, who back then, I had thought was important in my life. Sadly, that is no longer the case. He has chosen to stay stuck in the same place, watching as I walk off into the distance. I've had to leave him behind. I felt like he was drowning me as I pathetically tried to save him. Back then, after our falling out, in a fit of pique, I deleted my blogs. Oh, what a foolish woman I was... lol, still am, probably. Foolish for caring about someone who has no respect for me anymore.
Having deleted those blogs, I honestly couldn't remember when I had started blogging, so in theory, my blogging anniversary became 28th March, which was when I ventured back. A whole year and pages and pages of trivia later. But then I made an important discovery!
When I pop in and have a read through my comments, I always cast an eye over the Recent Visitors listing. Did you know, that until recently, I had never really noticed the View All button, which sits alongside? Just this weekend, I finally clicked on that button. And all I can say is "wow, wow, wow!!!"
There were pages and pages (99 pages, to be precise) of names, of all the unique visitors to my blog. Names, the places they hail from, and the date they last visited. So, with a trembling finger, I went and clicked on the last page, and made an important discovery. My first visitor to my blog was on 22nd February 2005.
So, my first anniversary has come and gone. A year later, almost to the day, it was fitting that I was celebrating, albeit unknowingly, with 9 of my pals from the Euro Hot Tub, where I am a frequent chatter. Many of those pals are bloggers too, and it was actually a former acquaintance from the Euro Hot Tub that introduced me to blogging! Pity she isn't around to have a cup of coffee and a scrummy piece of anniversary cake!!!
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You either love it or you hate it...
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Posted:Mar 26, 2006 7:51 am
Last Updated:May 22, 2006 6:15 am
15647 Views
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Marmite. Yep.
To those of you who love it, that delicious spread that tastes divine on freshly baked bread, or newly toasted bread. To those of you who hate it... that brown gunk that stinks, and makes your lips curl back in disgust.
Yesterday, over a refreshing late afternoon cappuccino, my coffee-time companion almost had me choking on my steamed froth. The manufacturers of Marmite are venturing into squeezy bottle terrain. I you not.
*Gasp* What??? No mini, big and giant beloved brown jars, with their instantly recognisable yellow lid?? Said companion also muttered that if Marmite was going squeezy, surely that would mean it was going to go runny too? Runny Marmite just doesn't even bear thinking about!!
While getting in the groceries today (lol, in my house Mothering Sunday means getting on with what mothers do best... looking after the family), I perused the shelves, and had a little look for signs of other squeezy bottles. Mayonnaise has gone squeezy, and so has ketchup. Speaking of ketchup... I notice that green and purple ketchup has long since gone... now there was a fad I never quite understood!!
Branston's now make their pickle in a squeezy bottle too, and I'm a bit in two minds about that. The squeezy bottle is good for a quick sarnie, but the pickle is definitely chunkier in the jar, and sometimes, a cheese and relish sandwich just has to be chunky!!
But back to the Marmite business... could you see yourself buying a squeezy bottle of Marmite when it hits the shelves, or will you be a tradionalist, and stick with the chunky brown jar?
And to those of you in Blogville who have no idea what Marmite is... it would be way too long and complicated to explain it to you, 'cos let's face it, you just either love it.... or you hate it. Simple as that!!
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Tender Torture...
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Posted:Mar 26, 2006 4:06 am
Last Updated:Mar 30, 2006 2:27 pm
14538 Views
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Tender is the torture,
To spend the day with you.
Filling up my memory bank
With moments fun and new.
Sipping mugs of coffee,
Stirring wanton dreams.
Eyes voicing lustful thoughts
As tongues dip into cream.
Hearts thump as fingers brush,
Tracing a path that's daring.
Sighs whispering in my ear,
My reason long past caring.
Tender is the torture,
Bringing sunshine to the gloom.
Next time, though, Lover Mine...
We damn well book a room!!
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The Long Goodbye...
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Posted:Mar 26, 2006 3:01 am
Last Updated:Mar 28, 2006 12:48 pm
14178 Views
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Yesterday I finally erased a memory that had been lingering for a while...
Give me time to reason
give me time to think it through
Passing through the season,
where I was cheated by you
I will always have a cross to wear,
but the bolt reminds me I was there
San Marco's... I had studiously avoided going there since last summer. It was "our place", where you and I had dined. The heavens had opened that day. Like the tears in my heart when I think of how you took something beautiful and slowly, methodically, destroyed it.
No more. I am no longer playing that game. Take your angst, your guilt, your games and go play them with someone else. Let someone else worry about you, let someone else fret over your Jekyll and Hyde moods. I'm done. I am erasing you like you've slowly been erasing me.
Yesterday, I went back to "our place", with someone new and made it "my place", with someone who I know will not leave me tangled up in blue. And it was raining again... but they were tears of happiness and relief.
Lyrics from Turn Back Time by Aqua
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Righting a Wrong...
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Posted:Mar 24, 2006 9:46 am
Last Updated:Mar 29, 2006 8:12 am
14656 Views
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Since posting How Blogging Has Changed, it would seem that all is not well in Europe's part of Blogville.
I had listed the Top Five bloggers, after having a nosy through the new blogs, and simply wrote what I saw. However, it would appear that Blogville has been duped. 
So, to this end, I am righting a wrong. Samantha192... you may be young and pretty, but stealing someone else's writing is just not on! I have taken a look at the website mentioned, and yes, it's there for all to see. You have been copying, almost verbatim, someone else's creative material, and there is nothing worse in Blogville.
Yes, there are those "cut and paste" moments we all have, when we're sharing funny emails and jokes, but when it comes to your own thoughts and emotions, some of us have gone through so much before pouring our hearts out on here.
That means, in my mind, the Top Five Bloggers in Europe list now looks like this!
Top of the list is Blogville's favourite bum... er, that should read bum shot! Papyrina has been drawing in the crowds with Papys diary almost since blogging on A F F began, and she's still going strong. Well done, Papy, and I, along with many others, wait to see what your pert little will be saying next!
Second on the list, and newcomer (well, for me, anyway) is the lovely TabithaElectra79. London seems to be the hot-bed of blogging talent in Europe right now, and a read through Sweetest Thing certainly cements my view. It doesn't hurt, of course, that Tabitha is also very easy on the eye ... TabithaElectra79 , as I am sure you'll agree!
Third on the *real* list is my new pal Babel__Fish, who is an American living in Belgium. Babel brings a new and rather interesting dimension to Blogville with ♥♥ Please and Serve ♥♥, which lets us take a peek into her life which she happily shares with her Master. Don't be fooled... Babel__Fish is a smart woman, and this comes through in her writing!
I'm rather pleased that freetime648 comes in next on the list, as it won't be long before Free will be leaving Europe and heading back to Idaho, home of the humble spud, or so Free would have us believe! >>Spoons and Smiles... Always!<< has always been a wonderful read, and finally meeting Free in February was just the icing on the cake for me. Suddenly, this blog came alive and while I may not have as close a friendship with freetime648 as some of the other Euro Hot Tubbers do, I shall certainly be crying just a little when she takes her family (including the adorable Poot) back with her. We have one last visit on the cards, because Heaven alone only knows when I shall get the chance to go spudding!
Fifth on the *real* list is HBowt2 who hails from Ireland. I've seen HBowt2 around in the comments of other blogs, so we must be watching the same blogs, lol, and I shall be making more of an effort to read her blog too. First I have to remove the blog of a not-so-honest blogger from My Watched List!!
So, there we have it. Europe's *real* Top Five Bloggers! Still an awesome read, and if you've not had the pleasure, be like me, go make yourself a coffee, sit down and get reading!! You won't be disappointed... I promise!
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Did someone say "ouch"???
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Posted:Mar 24, 2006 7:30 am
Last Updated:Mar 29, 2006 8:56 am
13946 Views
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A little while ago, I was getting all excited about my future plans for March (have a read of Little Pricks to get the background on it all), and then within weeks it all came crashing down to earth with a bang (Best Laid Plans will fill you in on the details of that!).
Well, I've been for the MRI scan, and am still waiting for the results from the consultant. The NHS isn't renowned for its speediness (I waited 3 months for the appointment when I was told it would only be one, but hey, ho, there we go), and as the financial year-end is looming, I'm not holding out much hope for news before Easter... *sigh*.
As I couldn't go Dutch this weekend, I decided to tick off one of the other activities I had planned, instead. What I was planning to do needed "Dutch courage"... does anyone know exactly why it is called that? 
Yes, my friends, today I went and did *it*!!! I have finally had my much-talked about clitoral hood piercing!!
Earlier this week I had sourced a nice, clean, friendly place to go and have my next piercing done, and had thought about saving it for a time when MBOTS could come and "share" the moment with me, but it was just as well he didn't, as I sat in the waiting room for over an hour, which would have been such a waste of a day when someone comes all the way across the country to spend the day with you!
Once it was my turn, I went through, and inspected the room. Nice, bright, clean and airy, and the guy who would be doing the piercing was nice and pleasant too. I don't think I could have sat and let him fiddle with my bits if he had *not* been nice, do you?
Now... I will not lie to you and say "it wasn't painful" 'cos I'd be lying. Lol, when you're lying in your bed, playing "down there", you assess with your fingers, and you think that the hood isn't *that* thick, and you can't imagine it hurting *that* much. I've had my nipple pierced, and yes it hurt, but it was over in a matter of seconds. Getting your clitoral hood pierced HURTS!!! However, once it's done, that's it. It's done. I should have realised just how much it was going to hurt by remembering just how sensitive I am "down there", but then those memories are usually ones of pleasure... 
I had a horizontal piercing, and I opted for a ring, although I can change to a bar once it has healed. It no longer hurts, but I can feel it there... and I've had a little look too.
Lol, and NO!!... I will not posting pics of my latest acquisition. It is going to be one of those "for your eyes only" things... sorry, everyone!! I will let you know how I get on, however, once I've had a chance to have a little play!! *grin*
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Tag! You're It!!
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Posted:Mar 24, 2006 1:26 am
Last Updated:Mar 26, 2006 8:01 am
14217 Views
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Darn! Missy Freetime freetime648 (don't you just love her new pic???) has tagged me!!! Apparently I have to list 6 things about myself that none of you know...hhhmmmmm And once I'm done, I have to tag 6 other bloggers 
Well, here goes nothing, and for those that I tag...you must list 6 things someone may not know about you and then tag 6 others...
1. I'm actually left-handed, but was forced to write with my right hand as a , so now I am ambidextrous....
2. I was a model in my teens, but got told if I didn't remove the two moles I have on my face, that I would never get any further than the catwalk (and I'm no Cindy Crawford, who proved that a mole can be the making of you!!)...
3. My nickname in high school was Peanut, and I used to draw a little peanut man when signing my name on letters and cards...
4. I have a secret fetish for things with hearts on them...
5. I dated a Jehovah's Witness in high school...
6. I worked on a cruise ship for a few months, with my husband, back in 1991. We were offered the chance to work on the sister ship, but turned it down, and a month later the sister ship sank off the coast of South Africa (fortunately everyone survived)...
So, 6 more boring facts about me! 
So, who to tag next...hmmmmm
Wackytits
dizzyandfun
JJKittyKat
AmberSolaire
cannon869
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Slogan Competition!!!
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Posted:Mar 21, 2006 12:42 pm
Last Updated:Apr 23, 2006 11:43 am
15016 Views
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Some of you may remember that back in September last year, I first mentioned a new "toy" I had my eye on (have a peek at More Good Vibrations and Helga and Sex Toy Man to refresh your memories).
I had totally forgotten about Matt and his offer - I have had a lot happen to me since that time, and with one thing and another, it totally slipped my mind.
Today I came home from a rather lousy day at the office, and was busy unwinding with a cup of coffee as I read my emails. I was pleasantly surprised to open an email from Matt (yep, SexToyMatt is still out there!), thanking me for being such a brilliant advocate of his exciting product. He has asked me to think about what message I would like to have on one of my own... *grin*
Matt would like me to email my message/slogan back to him, and with a bit of luck, my new toy should be ready within a week to a fortnight. As Blogville was the place I first mentioned the B-Doyng, I thought it would be cool to have a message/slogan competition, with you, my fellow bloggers, giving me your suggestions!
Leave your comments here, and I'll pick a winner by the end of Friday. Have fun thinking up a slogan, and once I have the B-Doyng in my grubby mitts, I promise to take a photo of it, and share it with you all! *wink*
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