Maybe good-bye?
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Posted:Jul 24, 2015 7:18 am
Last Updated:Aug 17, 2015 10:27 am
3677 Views
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If VisionPersonals.com is true to its word, this will be my last mandatory post. When I became a Gold member almost a year ago, they were offering either 3 or 6 months extra if you fulfilled certain conditions, which were to log in once a month for a year, to send three emails a month and to post on a blog monthly for that year. As the expiration is 8/13, I am waiting to see if they even remember what they promised. I highly doubt they will follow through. It doesn't really matter, as I have found my true love and don't need to go trawling in the depths any longer. But being a die-hard bargain hunter, it teases my curiosity to see if they do.
I should ask anyone who has been reading this and thinks they would miss hearing my idle ramblings to get in touch with me before 8/13 and we can exchange off-site emails for further contact. I have been in contact with a few gentlemen who have told me they enjoyed what I have written and although we are very unlikely to ever meet face-to-face, I would enjoy keeping in touch and if possible, keeping those faces smiling! 
If this is to be my last hurrah, good luck to all those who seek and good fortune to those who find. I'll be thinking about you!
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"Lovers", "Friends with Benefits", and other semantic BS.
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Posted:Jun 26, 2015 11:27 am
Last Updated:Feb 28, 2016 10:02 pm
3952 Views
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I have been thinking about this topic for a couple of weeks, ever since a man referred to my boyfriend in an email as my "lover". That word really resonated with me. The word has "love" as its root, but with the perversion of language over the years, has taken on the meaning more or less the opposite of love. A "lover" is more a flirtation, a convenience, a less-than-formal arrangement. Today's equivalent, "friend with benefits" (FW , is probably closer to the meaning. In certain societies a few hundred years ago, when people married for property, succession, possession or anything besides love, it was customary for both high-bred men and women to "take a lover". Used mainly for the physical act of making love, it was a man or woman of equal or slightly lower rank. Men customarily took a younger woman, while women (before the advent of cougarism), would take a younger man. Certainly affection was probably included, but it was mainly a relationship born out of convenience and even horniness, of not getting what one wanted or needed from one's spouse. It was not wholly an under-the-covers arrangement, but an accepted mode of conduct. Not only accepted but very often expected. Married women of status were actually relieved that their husbands had someone other than them to exercise their libidos on. They rather preferred the younger version muss their clothes and their hair. And the earthier the better. (Lady Chatterly's lover comes to mind.)
Nowadays, the FWB phenomenon is popular. I do think this is related, although at its root is probably more fear of commitment than anything else. Men or women want the benefit of the physical activity without the long-term inconvenience of that pesky marriage license. One can lavish affection on one's partner and walk away guilt-free, no promises other than enjoying each other's company having been made. No ugly entanglements, no possessiveness, no "green-eyed monster" rearing its ugly head (by tacit agreement these are not exclusive arrangements, so no jealousy is allowed). And if he or she turns out to want or demand more, then it ends more-or-less amicably. Unless....
"Boyfriend/girlfriend" also an awkward term. Past a certain age (early twenties?) it sounds funny to say that about one's inamorata. If the relationship proceeds to the next logical level, then a more respectable (and understandable) form of address can be used. One is now a "fiancee/fiance", and it is implied that now the relationship is on its way to becoming permanent. Engagements can be long or short, but along the way the question of commitment has been settled by agreeing to plan ahead for the long term. And, of course, love is the motivating factor (or should be, unless something has been misconstrued along the way.)
FWB's can turn to love, if both are motivated in the right direction. Love is borne of common interests, common goals and deep affection. Less common is the ability to see past one's imperfections to the person inside. This may not be all that easy and requires a relaxation of judgmental attitudes and opinions. After all, there is no "perfect man" or "perfect woman", but what counts is that they may be perfect in each other's eyes. And the growth of that love and attachment can be the most wonderful thing one has ever experienced. I've had it twice, when I really never expected to have it even once. Two times a lover and a friend has become the most important influence in my life, and even though the first one was untimely snuffed out, the Great Spirit saw fit to give me another chance at love. Always good to get a chance to appreciate good fortune, learn from one's mistakes, and step forward into a whole new world of love!
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Memories....and Karma
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Posted:May 21, 2015 10:37 pm
Last Updated:May 23, 2024 12:32 am
4056 Views
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Everybody has 'em. Good or bad, they shape our lives. Good memories can make you smile during a hard time, and give you comfort when you need it. Bad ones can make you shiver, have nightmares and plot revenge. But, as a friend recently pointed out to me (and which I already do know), revenge doesn't make you feel any better.
Karma, however, if you believe in it (and I do) CAN help to assuage the pain of an injustice, and it doesn't cause yourself any bad Karma in return. Although it can take a long time, and you may never be aware that it has happened, Karma can serve to right the wrong, in due time. As with most Eastern mysticism, one must just believe in it and not require (a Western custom, if ever there was one) proof.
Memories. They can torture you, amuse you, give you pause or get you moving. Long term, short term. I think the saddest thing in life is amnesia, the inability to remember things, people, places or faces. My husband had great memories from his childhood and young adulthood, and CRS covered the rest. I've always had a pretty good memory myself, one which functions well if I see something demonstrated and then do it, rather than read about it. I do follow directions well, and have almost total recall if someone says something to me by way of explanation. Faces..yes. Names? Not so much upon initial introductions, but once I get a grip on it, I can nearly always remember it. Once in a while I do get a block about certain things, and then there's no memory trick I can use to get past it. Ah well, c'est la vie.....
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Has it been a month already?
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Posted:Apr 18, 2015 12:07 pm
Last Updated:May 23, 2024 12:32 am
4347 Views
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My boyfriend left on vacation yesterday (visiting his dad in South Dakota). With the concomitant circumstances of poor cell service in the hinterlands and the fact that he is traveling with his sister and niece, I have only heard from him twice in those two days. And going from talking and texting many times a day to almost nothing (3 minutes this morning at 5 AM...) well, it's a struggle. Hopefully when he's off the road later today I'll get a longer fix. But then, later today I have to go to work. 
So the title of this piece is somewhat ironic. VisionPersonals.com makes me blog each month as a condition of membership (doubly ironic since I'm not really using it anymore), so I do one monthly (hello? I'm not a blogger!), but also these two days have seemed like a month already. Time is relative (anyone see the movie "Interstellar"? WTF was that all about, anyway??) and to a man sitting on a hot stove a second can seem like an hour, but that doesn't make me feel any better! Oh, boo hoo anyway. Guess I'll go make brownies and try to get my mind diverted for a little while.
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Spring has sprung!
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Posted:Mar 26, 2015 8:18 am
Last Updated:May 23, 2024 12:32 am
4659 Views
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My sympathies to the rest of the country for their awful winter weather, but hey! They chose to live there, as do all those people in flood zones and tornado lanes. Here we have been having one heat wave after another. (Oh, darn! Don't hate me because I live in California!) My parents had the great good sense to leave Nebraska during the depression and that was the smartest move they could have made. Got them out of a dead-end situation, got them jobs and much better weather. Okay, so we don't have "seasons" here (we do; they just blend into each other without as big a shock as in other places), and we laugh whenever Punxatawny Phil comes out of his hole.... but that's just a sacrifice you make to live in paradise. (Please remember I'm not talking of the political, social, taxation and immigration problems when I say that--just the weather).
Spring is one of my favorite seasons mainly because of the light. The length of light and the quality is so much better (especially for photographers). I do like winter, but there's not enough light. Summer here is the season of fog. The days are longer but half of them are shrouded in the damp stuff. Fall is what I connect with the dying of the year, plus most of the bad things that have happened to me happened in the fall. Hard not to associate that sadness with the season it happens in.
Listen, the year goes by fast enough. So enjoy it while it lasts. As they say around here, if you don't like the weather, wait five minutes!!
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Groundhog Day...
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Posted:Feb 19, 2015 6:47 pm
Last Updated:May 23, 2024 12:32 am
5091 Views
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Who believes that a giant rat can predict the weather? And who says the rat can control how much longer winter lasts because of a shadow? Winter lasts as long as it lasts, regardless of the results of the "shadow test". And the grumpiness of the groundhog!
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Happy New Year!
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Posted:Jan 22, 2015 7:03 pm
Last Updated:May 23, 2024 12:32 am
5371 Views
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Well, the year started off okay, but recent events have me in turmoil again. Too soon to tell how things will end up, but hoping for the best. Trying to keep smiling!
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Merry Christmas!
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Posted:Dec 15, 2014 10:26 am
Last Updated:Mar 26, 2015 8:22 am
6040 Views
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I don't believe in the "Happy Holidays" horseshit. If you're a Christian and you celebrate Christmas, don't be afraid to say so. It may not be "PC", but I don't care. We celebrate the birth of Our Savior and shouldn't be afraid to do it and say it in public!
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A brief thought out loud
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Posted:Nov 17, 2014 7:55 pm
Last Updated:May 23, 2024 12:32 am
5966 Views
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Just thinking how amazing it is that life can change in an instant, both for the worse and for the better. Keep yourself open to whatever comes along and sometimes you will be rewarded and sometimes you get creamed. Either way it's positive proof that you're still alive. I pity people who either contemplate or commit suicide, because if they succeed there's no opportunity to experience the changes that can happen in a flash of lightning! There is no redemption from that grief for those you leave behind. I think it is called the ultimate act of selfishness, and I must agree.
Fall is not my favorite season, not so much for the season itself, but because every bad thing that has happened in my life seems to have happened in those months. And I also hate when it gets dark early. So every year I wait for the Winter Solstice when the days start to lengthen, and that makes it about 34 days to go!
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Bliss!
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Posted:Oct 16, 2014 10:51 pm
Last Updated:May 23, 2024 12:32 am
6268 Views
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For all of you VisionPersonals.com-ers out there who wonder if it's possible to meet someone nice on this website, let me assure you that it is!
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Off my chest
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Posted:Sep 19, 2014 7:37 pm
Last Updated:Sep 20, 2014 9:38 am
6753 Views
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Since I'm sure no one will ever read these posts I can feel free to vent what ever I like. Here goes:
I've been fortunate to have been contacted by and have actually met many very nice gentlemen on VisionPersonals.com. Nice up to a point, I should say. Several of them I have shared intimate encounters with, and have enjoyed them, but I am a realist. Most men are only looking to hook up for whatever horny needs they have at the moment. That's fine, gentlemen, but please don't be hypocrites and say that you had a good time (which I know was true, because I am always accommodating and nice to you), and even say you'd like to come back, and then never even call, email or text again, especially when called, emailed or texted to. Like I said, I'm a realist, and a grownup and I can accept the truth. You don't have to lie or make up a story. Just put your big boy panties on and say what you want or don't want.
As I said, no one will ever read this, and even if those parties I mentioned did, they wouldn't recognize themselves , because I'm sure in their own minds they never gave it a second thought.
In a way, though, I also must thank you, because you make everyone else look good by comparison.
So all you lying weenies can go fuck yourselves, because I won't be doing it for you again!
Hah!
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To link to this blog (greeneyes4u1107) use [blog greeneyes4u1107] in your messages.
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