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Who Would Have Thunk It?
 
Same Old Stuff, Different Day!
Keywords | Title View | Refer to a Friend |
The 50's Were So Cool!
Posted:Aug 7, 2014 3:19 pm
Last Updated:Aug 10, 2014 7:40 am
7313 Views
A lot simpler time in those days, you could buy a 300 pound vibrator in Avacado Green or Harvest Gold. Quite a few people won't even understand what I'm talking about on the colors.

Does anyone remember what the brown color was called?

2 Comments
Proof That Boys Never Grow Up
Posted:Aug 5, 2014 2:44 pm
Last Updated:Aug 10, 2014 7:43 am
7813 Views
We are still chasing loud music and the sweet stuff. I want a Banana Bomb pop right now and whatever else I may be able to get off the truck.

2 Comments
Beware - Quite Gross - You Have Been Warned!
Posted:Aug 4, 2014 4:09 pm
Last Updated:Aug 5, 2014 2:40 pm
7812 Views
You just never know what you will get out of a book. Face time from a book can't be judged by the cover!

3 Comments
Lame Humor 2
Posted:Aug 4, 2014 3:33 am
Last Updated:May 4, 2024 9:21 pm
7845 Views

A family walks into a hotel and the father goes to the front desk and says "I hope the porn is disabled." The guy at the desk replies. "It's just regular porn you sick fuck."

Three men are trapped on an island inhabited by cannibals. When they get caught, the leader tells them to go out into the woods and pick ten of any fruit they find and come back. The first man comes back with ten apples. The leader says to him "If you can stick all ten apples up your ass without making a sound or facial expression then you'll be set free. If you fail, we eat you." He only manages to get two in before cringing in pain, and thus is eaten and sent to heaven. The second man comes back with
ten blueberries and the leader gives him the same task. He gets nine blueberries in when all of a sudden he bursts out laughing, and so he is eaten and sent to heaven, where he meets the first man again. The first man is confused and asks, "What happened? You had the easiest fruit, why the hell did you start laughing!" To which the second man replies, "I saw the last guy coming back with pineapples"

Two older women were outside their nursing home, having a smoke, when it started to rain. One of the ladies pulled out a condom, cut off the end, put it over her cigarettean, d continued smoking.

First Lady: What's that?

Second Lady: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.

First Lady: Where did you get it?

Second Lady : You can get them at any drug store.

The next day, Lady 1 hobbles herself into the local drug store and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms. The guy, obviously embarrassed, looks at her strangely (she is, after all, over 80 years old), but very delicately asks what brand she prefers.

Doesn't matter , as long as it fits a Camel.
0 Comments
Lame Humor
Posted:Aug 3, 2014 5:02 pm
Last Updated:May 4, 2024 9:21 pm
7739 Views

Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up on that morning. I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say,

"Happy Birthday!", and possibly have a small present for me. As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone "Happy Birthday."

I thought... Well, that's marriage for you, but the ... They will remember.

My came bounding down stairs to breakfast and didn't say a word. So when I left for the office, I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent.

As I walked into my office, my secretary Jane said,

"Good Morning Boss, and by the way Happy Birthday!"

It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered. I worked until one o'clock, when Jane knocked on my door and said, "You know, It's such a beautiful day outside, and it is your Birthday, what do you say we go out to lunch, just you and me."

I said, "Thanks, Jane, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go!"

We went to lunch. But we didn't go where we normally would go.

She chose instead a quiet bistro with a private table.

We had two Martinis each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.

On the way back to the office, Jane said, "You know, It's such a beautiful day... We don't need to go straight back to the office, do we?"

I responded, "I guess not. What do you have in mind?"

She said, "Let's drop by my apartment, it's just around the corner."

After arriving at her apartment, Jane turned to me and said,

"Boss, if you don't mind, I'm going to step into the bedroom for just a moment. I'll be right back."

"Okay," I nervously replied. She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes, she came out carrying a huge birthday cake.

Followed by my wife, my , and dozens of my friends and co-workers, all singing "Happy birthday".

And I just sat there...

On the couch...

Sobbing...

Naked...

and erect.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

King Arthur suspects Lancelot of messing with Guinevere, so he puts a guillotine chastity belt on her.

He returns from a war, and has all men in the castle line up and strip. every one is missing their penis, except Lancelot.

The King falls to his knees, cries, "Lancelot, you are the only true Knight here. What can I do to regain your trust?"

Lancelot replies, "Mppphfggggll."
0 Comments
At Least They Aren't Driving
Posted:Aug 3, 2014 9:48 am
Last Updated:Aug 3, 2014 9:48 am
6819 Views
0 Comments
A Special Gift
Posted:Aug 3, 2014 6:42 am
Last Updated:Aug 10, 2014 6:56 pm
6993 Views
A present just from me.

1 comment
I Love Skuzz Twittly
Posted:Aug 2, 2014 4:59 pm
Last Updated:May 4, 2024 9:21 pm
6913 Views

I admit that I am a sucker for dirty country music lyrics and songs. I will not post the link to these emotionally crushing ballads, but you can easily find them on this thing they call the internet. Look up Skuzz Twittly on the Tube

My faverite song of his is "Keep Your hands Off My PBR", but "You Put the Cunt in Country is Good Too"

Warning!!!! The one video can not be unseen after you have seen it, you have been warned, so if you like rednecks in Banana Hammocks, help yourself.
0 Comments
The Worlds Biggest Idiot
Posted:Aug 2, 2014 4:46 pm
Last Updated:Aug 3, 2014 6:44 am
6902 Views
Can you think of anyone who can top this Mensa Reject for the dumbest thing you could possibly do to your own body? Now I'm wondering what Pop-Rocks Feels Like on your genitalia? Anyone have that answer?

3 Comments
I'm Not A Fan
Posted:Aug 2, 2014 4:50 am
Last Updated:Aug 2, 2014 4:49 pm
6926 Views
I hate to embarrass the whale by posting this pic.

3 Comments
Friday Is For Crack
Posted:Aug 1, 2014 2:49 pm
Last Updated:Aug 2, 2014 4:51 pm
5224 Views
Not quite the crack you were expecting, but it is crack none the less. The grass and bushes still look pretty green to be wearing that many layers of clothes.

3 Comments
Thankfully I Don't Drink Coffee
Posted:Jul 31, 2014 4:50 pm
Last Updated:Jul 31, 2014 4:51 pm
4771 Views
I don't mind seeing someone I love going to the restroom on occasion during normal day to day living, but total strangers going number 2 is probably past my comfort level.

Am I being too squeamish on this on?

0 Comments
Men Are From the Moon, Not Mars
Posted:Jul 31, 2014 3:03 pm
Last Updated:Jul 31, 2014 3:03 pm
4773 Views
And this proves it! Well, unless the gravity is even less on Mars, then the peeing would be so much more fun. Yes, if it can be done with a penis, some man has tried it.

0 Comments

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