Camping Trip
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Posted:Aug 16, 2015 9:31 pm
Last Updated:Sep 1, 2015 9:56 am
28971 Views
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This is exciting and new... I'm going to a Poly Camping Event at the end of the month.
It's more family oriented and less "adulty" than one might have expected... though it makes sense as often it's more than just the adults involved.
Co-ed cabins. Co-ed bathrooms. That said I have showered in a men's shower room before. And there were men in there at the time.
There are some type events, but also some adult type events. Writing erotica. Creating high trust relationships. Fun things like art journaling, glow in the dark capture the flag, canoeing.
One of the organizers is an experienced drummer so *crossing fingers* I may get lessons  He said there are a number of drummers that usually attend and they all bring their drums.
I'm excited about the "get away", camping, meet new people, classes. Really excited about the classes.
Has any of my readers participated in something like this before?
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self-conscious
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Posted:Aug 15, 2015 7:06 pm
Last Updated:Sep 1, 2015 9:55 am
28871 Views
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Do you find yourself self-conscious a lot? Or does everything just roll off you, no matter? Or just not pay any attention or... whatever it is non-self-conscious people do?
My entire life has been lived around a heavy habit of self-conscious behavior. I've always worried what others thought of me, how they viewed me. Not enough to follow the crowd... but enough that I stress and worry.
Examples:
My two-year old temper tantrums were embarrassed out of me by my mom throwing herself on the floor beside me and throwing an even bigger tantrum - all the while pointing and laughing at me for doing such a poor job of it.
I believe that started the trend... I no longer throw tantrums (externally. Inside I sometimes do... because it amuses me to imagine myself doing it)
In middle school (7th or 8th grade) I was walking with friends and they were singing... I was actually comfortable enough to sing along. And one called out "OMG! Listen to DSK!!! SHHH!! Everybody stop singing" So everyone stopped - even me. She commented how great my voice was, and made me sing solo in front of them. I freaked... panicked. Tried too hard, strained my voice... they laughed at me. I've never willingly sang around an adult since. : yes (I was once a sought after lullaby singer by and parents alike. Serious - neighbor once had to come get me because her flat refused to settle down until I sang them to sleep). A few friends have tried talking me into karaoke and I tell them no way in hell. Even my mom has done karaoke... but I just can't. I'm too self-conscious and it stresses me too much.
Now... I've discovered I'm self-conscious about being an introvert. I've been an introvert my entire life. Think "needs lots of alone time to recharge" and "often quiet and not interested in speaking" and "deals best with 1 or two people, not large groups" as compared to "Shy". They aren't necessarily the same thing. But ever since CallMex1000 told me I am the least introverted introvert he's ever met, and he really doesn't think I am... now I'm all self-conscious about THAT.
Today an elderly lady read my T-Shirt "Quilter" so stopped to talk to me and had a conversation about quilting and if I'm entering the fair this year and if she is too (she lacks the patience but lots of family are into it)... when I walked away.... BOOM... it hit me.
There I go again, not fitting the "Box" I've thought I fit nicely into my entire life.
Ambivert. Neither Introvert nor Extrovert. I need to embrace the new term. Or not.
Or... just burn the boxes! We don't need no boxes here.
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5
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Seven Deadly Sins
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Posted:Aug 11, 2015 10:20 pm
Last Updated:Aug 19, 2015 6:45 pm
28654 Views
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Seven Deadly Sins... as artistically shows by Erte
anger
avarice
envy
lust
pride
gluttony
sloth
All the "Sins" ... as requested (humorlife). If I went in and took a photo of my bed... yeah, sloth fits me. Tons of pillows... books... a cat... a cat toy or two... sometimes other hobby-ish things to do. But no paints... that would be too messy.
I think gluttony is a fun depiction too. The rest? Meh. Which is sad to say because I am mostly totally fascinated with Erte's works.
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4
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Deadly Sins
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Posted:Aug 9, 2015 10:46 pm
Last Updated:Aug 12, 2015 3:54 pm
28878 Views
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Erte did an art series of "The Seven Deadly Sins"...
Apparently I'm guilty of sloth... He caught my Sunday mornings absolutely perfectly:
Sadly... I don't see anything wrong with this scene. Though swapping out all these bits of entertainment out for one Beloved Lover on a Sunday morning would be wonderful.
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6
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Bitchy Me
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Posted:Aug 8, 2015 11:07 pm
Last Updated:Aug 13, 2015 10:11 pm
28418 Views
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My "nice" is wearing thin.
Funny thing: I love all you here on this site... flirting, laid back, respectful (and easy to avoid if not) but....
Face Place.
A long-time internet friend of my former roommate (and my pseudo friend as well because I accepted him as a friend on the site years ago) has decided he's getting out of a loveless, sexless marriage and is interested in me. And has been playing 20 questions. Only it's more like 20,000. I've answered because... because.
Boredom + politeness and now he thinks he has a chance at winning me and I really could care less. And the 20 questions format has rather pissed me off.
I don't have the energy. There is either a mental connection or there isn't. If you have to drag out questions... obviously there's not a connection. Or am I being too judgemental?
I love the connections where you just "click" even not knowing why... you can talk of anything and the positive energy just flows and feeds in an upward spiraling cycle. Common language helps... but I've had two friends without a common language that clicked like that. If there's a romantic interest it just heightens the spiral.
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Alive
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Posted:Aug 7, 2015 11:49 pm
Last Updated:Aug 12, 2015 8:44 am
28359 Views
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A leap of heart, a twist of longing,
Sudden raging lust.
My entire body heart mind and soul react
with the slightest every day comment.
Balance, balance
Deep breaths
Calm..... no hope, no dream
Walk on, walk on...
One brief moment
and I'm gloriously, painfully, foolishly alive.
..........
Sorry readers... I promise to write interesting stuff soon  Have a few last minute panicky (and some not so panicky) life things to deal with. And stop writing bad poetry LOL... though my blog is where I've let everything pour out for all these years.
I've written 5 blog posts tonight, deleted all. Really I should give up trying till everything else is done lol.
Happy Weekend everybody!
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2
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Drummer
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Posted:Aug 3, 2015 8:08 pm
Last Updated:Aug 11, 2015 9:51 pm
34824 Views
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Listening to the drum beat
Reflections of the heart
Warm, resonating, deep
I feel my heart pounding
to the rhythm of your heart
Rising above me
Your eyes and mine
the Universe does not exist
Only this pinpoint moment
This pause, this breath
This gasp... join me
Soul mixed with soul
The drum remembers
Your heart against mine
Beating, beating....
-DSK 8/3/2015
O, Teach me to play,
my fine mad drummer!
Teach me to play,
my love!
Lift up mine heart
and break it again
as ye pound the sticks
upon the skin
-DSK 8/3/2015
I hope these aren't too dumb LOL... Now that I've read them a few dozen times... My heart is done breaking and laughing and soaring and longing after my own words. Now the artistic self doubt creeps in.
So play the fife lowly and play the drums slowly
(I now have The Streets of Laredo - Michael Martin Murphy in my head)
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3
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Blue Moon
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Posted:Aug 1, 2015 12:16 am
Last Updated:Aug 4, 2015 9:17 pm
28396 Views
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Typically I scoff at "the full moon is making me ...."
I know there are plenty of examples of it effecting some people. It's just never did anything for me. OK: Some could argue "but you get frisky on a full moon". However that was due to conditioning after an 8+ year relationship with a guy who responded that way to a full moon. Frankly I thought it mostly in his head. Along with jet lag due to daylight savings time (that's never caused me any issues either). Then there was that one ill-judged night in high school when I petulantly glared up at the full moon hanging over the lake (I didn't want to go on a family walk but mom made me) and thought "I defy you, moon!" An hour later I had the worst of headaches. I don't remember all the other symptoms but when I told the woman I babysat for the following day she said it was a hangover. Classic hangover. It had to have been the moon as I didn't drink then, same as I don't now.
But starting soon after my shift ended tonight... I got overwhelmingly emotional. Crying for no reason. OK: Perhaps it's due to life the past 2 weeks. Or the stress of waiting 2 weeks to have a conversation with a friend. Or it could be, as the internet claims, the "Blue Moon" itself. Supposedly it opens your emotions and guides you towards the future paths you should be walking on. Amongst other things.
I hope it stops.
Does the full moon do anything for you?
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8
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Shut Up and Dance
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Posted:Jul 30, 2015 10:06 pm
Last Updated:Aug 2, 2015 5:10 pm
28373 Views
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"Shut Up And Dance"
"Oh don't you dare look back.
Just keep your eyes on me."
I said, "You're holding back, "
She said, "Shut up and dance with me!"
This woman is my destiny
She said, "Ooh-ooh-hoo,
Shut up and dance with me."
I was originally going to post the entire song but it's a lot of words. Love this song.
One of the "I can't help but dance to it" songs.
It keeps playing over and over in my head... not quite sure what I think of that.
Wish somebody would dance with me.
XXX
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3
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Panty Shopping
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Posted:Jul 27, 2015 10:06 pm
Last Updated:Aug 3, 2015 6:17 pm
28528 Views
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While it wasn't actually on my list....
Who could resist?
Live Long and Prosper 
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6
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A Blank Slate
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Posted:Jul 24, 2015 10:38 pm
Last Updated:Aug 3, 2015 6:17 pm
29066 Views
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What would you do if, one day, you woke up and discovered your future a blank slate? No plans, no goals, nothing you pressingly *had* to do... or at least nothing that mattered enough to appear on the now empty slate sitting in front of you?
That's how I feel tonight.
I drove around. Ate something. Not because I was particularly hungry or that food sounded good but because I know I need to eat. I've decided I should take advantage of "nothing sounds good, I don't want to eat but have to" and get into the habit of healthy food (all the time. biggest problem is I need to cook ahead of time for the week in order to do so). Then I drove around some more, relatively aimlessly. Ended up at the river watching the water and ... yeah. That's about it. My plan was to fill that empty slate in front of me... but once I was there it didn't really matter. And my pen died.
Isn't that a great excuse? "I made no plans because my pen died".
But looking on the bright side ... I have a whole, brand new, empty slate in front of me. I can fill it with anything I want! Or I can walk around with the adrenaline rush from the mingled terror and excitement of a blank page.
As a writer... blank pages can be glorious. Exciting and dreadful. Who knows (yet) what it might become? There is magic in a blank page.
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6
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Profound Quotes
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Posted:Jul 22, 2015 5:13 pm
Last Updated:Aug 4, 2015 5:35 pm
29694 Views
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1. "Never forget what you are, for surely the world will not. Make it your strength. Then it can never be your weakness. Armour yourself in it, and it will never be used to hurt you." - Tyrion Lannister, A Game of Thrones
2. "It is often said that before you die your life passes before your eyes. This is in fact true. It's called living." - Terry Pratchett
3. "A reader lives a thousand lives before he dies. The man who never reads lives only one." - George R. R. Martin, A Storm of Swords (Jojen Reed)
4. "It is our choices that show who we truly are, far more than our abilities." - Albus Dumbledore, Harry Potter
5. “It's the questions we can't answer that teach us the most. They teach us how to think. If you give a man an answer, all he gains is a little fact. But give him a question and he'll look for his own answers.” - Patrick Rothfuss, The Wise Man's Fear
6. “ are dying… That's a succinct summary of humankind, I'd say. Who needs tomes and volumes of history? are dying. The injustices of the world hide in those three words.” - Steven Erikson, Deadhouse Gates
7. "Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own." - Robert A. Heinlein, Stranger in a Strange Land
8. “We love what we love. Reason does not enter into it. In many ways, unwise love is the truest love. Anyone can love a thing because. That's as easy as putting a penny in your pocket. But to love something despite. To know the flaws and love them too. That is rare and pure and perfect.” - Patrick Rothfuss, The Wise Man's Fear
9. “It gets tiresome being spoken to as if you are a , even if you happen to be one.” ― Patrick Rothfuss, The Name of the Wind
10. “History is a wheel, for the nature of man is fundamentally unchanging. What has happened before will perforce happen again.” ― George R.R. Martin, A Feast for Crows
11. “Why do you go away? So that you can come back. So that you can see the place you came from with new eyes and extra colors. And the people there see you differently, too. Coming back to where you started is not the same as never leaving.” ― Terry Pratchett, A Hat Full of Sky
12. “The purpose of a storyteller is not to tell you how to think, but to give you questions to think upon.” ― Brandon Sanderson, The Way of Kings
13. “We die a little every day and by degrees we’re reborn into different men, older men in the same clothes, with the same scars.” ― Mark Lawrence, King of Thorns
14. “Where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.” - Albus Dumbledore, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
15. “I wish...I wish I were dead...”
“And what use would that be to anyone?” ― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
16. “Bran thought about it. 'Can a man still be brave if he's afraid?'
'That is the only time a man can be brave,' his father told him.”
- George R. R. Martin, A Game of Thrones
17. "Words can light fires in the minds of men. Words can wring tears from the hardest hearts." - Patrick Rothfuss, The Name of the Wind
18. “The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.” ― Terry Pratchett, Diggers
19. I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain. - Frank Herbert, Dune
20. “It's like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger they were. And sometimes you didn't want to know the end… because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it’s only a passing thing… this shadow. Even darkness must pass.” - J. R. R. Tolkien, Lord of the Rings
And 21: (Misquoted most likely): "If you want to be an Adventurer, you must trust the Universe". I forget the book and the author but I've loved the quote for years.
Do you have any favorite quotes? Of course these mostly aren't my favorites, just ones I read a moment ago and enjoyed. Especially those in color.
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12
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Leaves in the wind
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Posted:Jul 21, 2015 5:34 pm
Last Updated:Dec 2, 2015 5:53 pm
28942 Views
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Secret hopes and dreams
long held plans
some written on paper
all written in my heart
Now blown away on the wind
A sign of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, hoping for a different result.
Friends: there are many of you, all around the world, that i wish to and have planned to meet "someday"and many I've made plans to meet but couldn't due to worn out cars.
If you're not certain you're on my "visit someday" list and want to be: please let me know. (And no: that does not mean sex. Just to be clear). We've finally narrowed down my probable next vehicle and i plan on traveling.
*UPDATE* Typo's have been corrected. Blogging via mobile is a bit tricky with a smart phone and I'm not so great at proofreading my phone because my brain "knows" I hit the right key. Or would have were it a normal keyboard.
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To link to this blog (demonicsexkitten) use [blog demonicsexkitten] in your messages.
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