Happy Friday!
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Posted:Oct 23, 2014 11:09 pm
Last Updated:Oct 26, 2014 3:02 pm
16720 Views
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I just read a profile that read "Before sex you undress each other. After sex you only dress yourself"
Thank God for wonderful lovers that help me dress (or try interfering with my dressing) after sex. haha.
Maybe it's just me but I really appreciate it when "dang it! I'm running late to work" and he gets hold of my shirt first and helps...
Also enjoyable is stepping out of a shower and being surprised by a towel tossed over my head and my hair and body vigorously dried off as I squeal and laugh.
OK... maybe it's not quite as fast as doing it myself, but those extra moments are golden.
Hope everyone has a wonderful Friday!
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Monday Post: Updated
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Posted:Oct 20, 2014 12:07 pm
Last Updated:Oct 29, 2014 12:20 am
18028 Views
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I've started writing 3 different blog posts today. All have been deleted.
My thoughts for today:
Touch my mind.
If you can touch my mind: maybe you'll touch my heart.
Touch my heart: who knows?
Maybe physical intimacy will follow. Maybe not.
If intimacy happens (physical or otherwise): maybe you will touch my soul.
But sometimes I screw up the order. A few months back another blogger caught my mind and I was so drawn to him -- when we discovered it was a mutual thing I just opened right up and jumped into the bright sunlight that is his soul. It was a glorious and beautiful few weeks, then his life fell into change. It was all mind, heart, soul and mental intimacy (not physical). We still talk, but not the deep connecting like before. I miss that connection.
You have to love to be loved. Open yourself to the risk of being hurt in the gamble to find loving joy. But it gets so wearying at times. Opening oneself to love sometimes seems like a form of masochism.
I'm feeling very needy right now. Plenty of male friends and would-be lovers (if we lived in the same state or country), or they weren't married, etc. But I just really want a pair of loving arms around me, a shoulder to lean upon, somebody to whisper in my ear "it will be okay. I'm here for you" and actually BE here. Soul connection would be nice too.
In about 2 hours I have to go to a surgeon's office for a consultation on my leg, and they may do an outpatient treatment or may decide to hospitalize me. My doctor visit yesterday didn't go so great.
The blister caused by my allergic reaction to the tefla pad is down 50% but the skin where the tefla touched is still flame red. The blister caused by the allergic reaction to the paper tape is gone but skin still red. The initial wound: not getting better (Frankly I think my body is now in a state of confusion over what injury needs the most attention). She tried surgically cleaning it out but there is now a ton of scar tissue and she couldn't quite get all of it because it hurt towards the end and I caused more injury by jerking my leg.
I'm scared. I can't afford to miss work. And REALLY don't want hospitalization.
Sorry if I'm being overly dramatic or too sharing or whatever. I'm just stuck in my own thoughts and worrying.
Ugh... now I want to delete THIS post too but I'm hitting send anyhow.
Update: No hospitalization needed. Surgeon decided the wound was cleaned out enough and looked pretty good now. Plus he'd be afraid to touch it until my latex reaction heals a lot more. The Dr on Wednesday misspoke. Tefla pads have Latex, not sulfa. Other things with latex: The stretchy "sticks to itself" type bandage wraps, and the stretchy cotton netting they have. I'm now using 100% cotton gauze pads and wraps.
Crazy that, even though records show allergies clearly, you still have to question EVERYthing.
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Frisky as hell
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Posted:Oct 18, 2014 7:30 am
Last Updated:Oct 26, 2014 9:50 pm
17691 Views
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My inner demon is apparently loose.
Have I mentioned her? Kinda like the "inner goddess" of 50 Shades of Grey fame except nowhere as ditsy or ridiculous.
OK: I'd have to reread 50 Shades of Grey to remember exactly what it is I didn't like about the characters and the inner goddess and all that. But I do remember I felt they were totally stupid. So maybe nothing like that at all.
I call it my "inner demon"... a Temptress. That I try keeping her locked up in a cage, as I imagine it. Metal barred cage, and there I sit staring at her "haha! you're locked up... can't cause any trouble at all"
Then, when she feels like it... she smirks, pushed the unlocked door right open, and walks out. Laughing at me for thinking I was in control at all, and that I was even capable of locking her up, unless she felt like going along with it.
While not quite running amok and getting me in trouble (I have too many things to do today AND nobody around to run amok with)... I could so run a few hours late to my volunteer gig today by falling back into bed with somebody LOL.
Luckily I'm home alone and duty beckons louder than the dissatisfaction of playing alone.
Plus... I get to look at quilts! FAbric... bright awesome colors. But first.. PANIC time! As I didn't get all my spreadsheets and stuff done ahead of time. So... with 2.5 hours until "GO!" I'm off to put all the pieces together.
I think all the antibiotics the doctors have me on are causing strange side effects. They said "they will upset your stomach" and of course "take probiotics and eat yogurt (but NOT at the same time as taking the meds) to avoid other side effects. But... "frisky as hell"? Where's that coming from? lol.
Hopefully this mood hangs around till tonight so I can fully exploit it for writing inspiration.
Have a great Saturday everyone!
(Hmm... fabric lust, color lust, sex lust... I'm just a very lusty person today haha.)
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Will it ever end?
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Posted:Oct 16, 2014 5:15 pm
Last Updated:Nov 2, 2014 5:01 pm
17517 Views
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This whole "healing up from a (supposed) spider bite" is becoming almost a comedy of errors.
It really was healing nicely. 75% I'd say. But then it started itching... and I scratched. Just like I knew I shouldn't but it ITCHED. that made it worse. The I itched a LOT... irritated it horribly, and Tuesday I ended up going to urgent care (faster than making a dr. appt).
My allergies:
Latex.
Sulfa.
Nickel.
And newly discovered after using it all last week: paper tape. (I now have a square welt outline around my original wound)
Since I can't use paper tape: I got the stretchy sticks-to-itself bandage wrap... which I was informed last night has a bit of latex in it (so far no noticeable reaction though).
The doctors used tefla pads to keep the gauze pads from sticking to the wound. Yesterday's doctor made me come back today to see if things were getting better yet.
Today's doctor put 2 and 2 together after my 3rd visit and it's looking worse in some ways. Tefla pads have a bit of sulfa in them... which is irritating the wound and giving me an allergic skin reaction. (she's the 3rd doctor I've seen. Downside of urgent care. That, and if you find the absolute BEST dr ever... he's still just urgent care and can't be a primary).
I'm now on 3 antibiotics (if you count the shot they gave me Tuesday), and have to go back for a 4th follow up visit on Sunday.
It's finally stopped itching though.
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Passionate Kisses
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Posted:Oct 15, 2014 9:42 pm
Last Updated:Oct 19, 2014 5:41 pm
17265 Views
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It's been rather a rough week for me so far.
But tonight... tonight I got kisses
About the time I think "Okay... my libido is dead" somebody comes along and proves me wrong.
First meet, coffee, conversation, and kisses. Body-tingling, heart-racing, libido-resurrecting kisses at that.
Incidentally... somebody that kisses "right" without training... Mmmmm. (Ok: that's probably called "adjustment period"... some don't need training they just kiss different).
I'll be having happy dreams tonight lol.
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Martyr: A Poem (and a salad recipe)
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Posted:Oct 12, 2014 6:25 pm
Last Updated:Apr 12, 2015 5:05 pm
26056 Views
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I'm digging through one of my closets and ran into a box of papers from when the pipe supplying water to the toilet broke and flooded my apartment. We threw everything I owned out in the yard. Once everything was dry... some things were tossed, some put back, and some... put in a box (or many boxes) for "sort through later". Those boxes got stuffed in a closet and forgotten until now.
I just found one of my old poems from college days. When I working on my AA/AS/BS (I did all 3 at once... the bachelors' was somewhat accidental).
Sharing...
Martyr
The shadows wall the sunlight in,
Truth rides blindly in the sun.
The Watchers lower their eyes
as she goes racing past,
her standard raised to Heaven.
Thunder passes, those flying hooves;
the ignorant cower, deaf and blind,
hiding from their angry gods.
They believe the lie!
That beauty, Righteous Truth,
calls out like Joan of Arc,
calling loud for man to help;
The Victory is Ours!
(Ignore the Past,
Forget the Future,
Pull the shroud of darkness
closer by....)
The screams of death and dying,
blood red rivers drown the sun.
Truth fights alone, an empty battle,
and is buried in a sea of blood,
Her voice still echoing to Heaven.
--DSK (sometime prior to 2004)
I submitted it for publication but was informed "You need to read what modern poetry is like". Totally P*ssed me off. First: they never said "only modern style poetry" and second: I'm alive now. I wrote it. Thus: modern.
No matter... some of the stuff they publish is ridiculous. I should know... one of the poems I had published in a national anthology I'm quite horrified to have my name associated with. I threw it in as a submission because "ahh, what the heck". Thinking of the fact that I wrote it and it's published puts me in convulsions lol.
And for something a little different: my favorite Moroccan Salad. I've been stressing for over a year because I knew I'd written it down, it wasn't with my recipes, and the Moroccan Restaurant I got it from took down their recipe link which I relied upon and appear to have closed their associated site where they sold items and shared recipes.
Sh'ladda d'el Khiar:
2 cucumbers, peeled & diced in 1" squares
2 ripe tomatoes diced in 1" cubes
2 green peppers diced in 1" cubes
1/2 peeled onion, finely chopped (I use red onion SUPER finely chopped)
2 stems parsley finely chopped
2 ox red wine vinegar or juice of 1 lemon (I use the lemon)
1 oz virgin olive oil
1 tsp black pepper
1 Tbsp cumin
Salt to taste
Garnish: Preserved lemon and green or kalamata olives
Mix together in a bowl. Garnish on a plate if desired.
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Health Update
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Posted:Oct 9, 2014 7:23 pm
Last Updated:Oct 13, 2014 9:18 pm
18934 Views
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I think I'm going to live. No amputation necessary 
No doctor needed either.
Every time I look at the wound it's smaller than it was. Poison is still being pulled out, but the last 2 days it's clearing so much faster. It's starting to do the insane itching like crazy healing thing. I almost started crying at work it was itching so much.
The regimen: a paste of baking soda until it's dried then pull it off. Clean the wound really good, and once dry from cleaning: bandage with a Pine Sap based salve and gauze. I'm not sure if it's 100% pine sap or if it's mixed with something. I'm hoping to get the recipe, though my friend only got the recipe from her grandmother when she was on her death bed.
Interesting thing I read: if you cut yourself in the mountains and don't have a bandage: use pine sap. It will harden and stop the bleeding.
Thank you for the concern and good words.
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3
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Grateful (A.FF Related)
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Posted:Oct 4, 2014 8:52 pm
Last Updated:Oct 9, 2014 7:03 pm
20039 Views
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I am grateful for the men that email me on A.FF.
Seriously... 99% of the men that email me HAVE read my profile, or even if they haven't they have polite and interesting messages, it feels conversational (yeah, I rounded a bit. Never bothered actually working out the statistics). I seldom get the "wanna fuck?" emails. I read so many complaints by women on this site... and though I did post about one I got not too long ago, they truly are a rarity in my inbox.
Not really sure why. Not gonna poke at it too much. Just know I'm grateful
Hope everybody's having a great Saturday night.
I went to dinner with my bestest non-boyfriend boyfriend. We mutually "friend-zoned" one another because we just don't click that way. He's amazing though. And will read this in a few hours ("Hi, friend!").
Now I get to kick back alone with a chic flick or sci fi movie and begin the process of healing from a brown recluse (edit: hobo or some other poisonous spider) bite.
Oh: my prior weekend plans got cancelled. Staying in town after all. What's wrong with my grey car? It's missing one clip. ONE. C-clip, sir-clip, retaining clip... I heard all 3 names. It holds the CV joint in place. You can't buy it anywhere in town, has to be special ordered out of Memphis and takes about 2 weeks to get here. It's also been officially confirmed Mister (my red car) is toast. So we're scavenging parts and selling it to Pull & Save. It feels so Reever-ish.
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5
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Imaginings
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Posted:Oct 2, 2014 9:13 pm
Last Updated:Oct 4, 2014 11:28 pm
20433 Views
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One of my new on-going fantasy images...
A threesome... two men and myself.
One, laying on the bed and leaning back against the pillows and headboard
My arms under his thighs so I can be half laying on the bed too, my nipples just brushing the blankets beneath. Sucking, licking and nibbling his cock and balls.
At the same time I'm kneeling on my knees, butt in the air.. and the other is behind me. Sliding in hard and firm, filling me. Clear view of me sucking the other man.
Actually they would both have a clear view of the other.
And should I ever wish to make it a reality: I have a volunteer haha. "So long as I get to be the one in your mouth".
Somebody once said my mouth is my secret weapon.
On the one hand I love hearing stuff like that. On the other... I want somebody to feel like that about all the rest of me too.
In the meantime... I have great fantasies to play to 
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8
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Will Be Back Soon
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Posted:Sep 30, 2014 6:19 pm
Last Updated:Oct 5, 2014 9:09 am
20555 Views
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Not that I can really stay away from this place. Have to at least check emails and browse a blog or two. But... I so need an extra 24 hours a day for a week or two.
I have many hobbies. The biggest one is "Learning New Things" ... which really encompasses anything and everything. And then those new things are hobbies (of sorts).
Last night I made 40 yards of hand-dyed, hand-spun wool yarn. Sock-weight for anybody that does knitting or is familiar with yarn.
Today: I'm making a hand-made leather journal, with pages hand-sewn in.
Why? Because I signed up for a craft exchange with, essentially, a random stranger online. We make stuff we feel like making and think the other person might like, then send it off in the mail. It's a great way for me to try out ideas or projects I'm curious about.
Add all the crafty things to the worky things and the volunteery things (I'm the chairperson of a sub-committee for an event happening in 2 weeks. I was also on 2 committees (3?) at work, but all those projects ended - one last Friday, one today).
Plus I promised to go on a road trip this weekend to meet an internet friend, and attend a camping event, and watch friends get married. And the following weekend I am signed up for 2 all day events on Saturday. (I managed to attend both last year... crossing my fingers this year).
And let's not even talk about apartment chores and re-organization plans (that's where the 24 extra hours a day would come in quite handy).
I know: Lots of people are busy, and more so than I am. However I've got nothing else to write. And if nobody sees me around for a while... this is why.
What hobbies (besides sex and haunting A.FF) do you have?
And this is my "Hello, readers, friends and loved ones and friends yet unmet" for the night, as my 10 minutes of free time are up. I promised a friend I'd help her with some projects too. If nothing else I will give her moral support haha.
Happy Almost-Wednesday!
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4
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Life... Sigh.
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Posted:Sep 28, 2014 10:40 pm
Last Updated:Jan 28, 2015 5:31 am
20282 Views
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I bought a new toy tonight.
Can't wait to try it out.
Should have made the woman at the store open it for me.
Unable to get it out of the packaging.
Sigh.
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4
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Friday Night Walk
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Posted:Sep 28, 2014 11:36 am
Last Updated:Sep 29, 2014 4:41 pm
20024 Views
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Friday night was absolutely gorgeous out. Clear sky, Not too cold, and I wanted so much to be in the mountains and watch the stars. Or go for a walk.
On my way home I drove past ... hmm, I will call him "The Mechanic" - the platonic friend turned FWB from early this year. Turns out he didn't see me (I later asked) but he texted me 10 minutes later to ask what I was doing. He'd been cooped up in the house all week and was out for a walk. So I invited myself along and had him swing by to get me (it was 10:30pm when we started out)
We didn't walk too far, a couple blocks to a school then went back and sat in the bleachers and just talked for a few hours and watched what stars we could see in city lights. Until he decided I was too cold and I'd blame him if he kept me out too late and I missed my planned outing the next morning, so he made me wear his coat and walked me home.
It was a beautiful night.
What interests me though is the "buzzing". I can't explain it any more than that. If he hugs me... it starts. I feel it even if we're just holding hands. Or even just sitting beside one another not even touching. It's like an underlying hum of energy that's always there. I want to say "sexual energy" but it might be something else. That's just the only way I know to interpret it.
Somehow, despite (so far as I remember) he grew up entirely here in the NW and his childhood was rather wild... somehow he has the "Southern Gentleman Rules of How to Treat a Lady" down pat. The cousin I had a crush on when I was 14 (he was 15 and it was mutual) was raised in the South and his mom thoroughly trained him. His and my first ever fight (not counting the week of knock down, drag out fighting we had before family jokingly teased us for "Love-fighting" one another and somehow we discovered it was true -- actually it was him teasing me, and me drag down fighting in return) was over the fact I never let him open doors. I didn't NOT let him, I just got out or opened doors before he could get there.
Opening doors (whether I'm going in or out, including car doors even if I'm driving), ladies first, watch language around a lady, gentleman walks on the outside of the sidewalk closest to the road, I know there are a lot of others but these are the 3 I remember because the mechanic does all of them.
That last bit really has nothing to do with anything. Just it kinda makes me feel cared for. Have to remember to not take it personally haha.
But the energy flow... he hinted last night that it's mutual, though I'm not sure we're talking the same thing. It's somehow different from anything I've experienced before.
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6
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Watching Cams
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Posted:Sep 25, 2014 11:59 pm
Last Updated:Sep 28, 2014 5:10 pm
20138 Views
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Do you enjoy watching cams? Do you prefer watching solo play or couples?
Does it ... "help"? Help what, I'm not sure.
I'm watching a guy on cam right now... it's so hot, and has me frisky as hell. But also feeling lonely, and achy, and playing won't really help.
The fact his body type and body hair are my "ideal" and reminds me exactly of somebody I used to know probably makes it worse.
That, and I much prefer to watch somebody I know and care about. Weird of me I guess haha.
Midnight in Washington state. Goodnight world.
XOX
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To link to this blog (demonicsexkitten) use [blog demonicsexkitten] in your messages.
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