fake
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Posted:Feb 18, 2012 5:24 pm
Last Updated:May 29, 2024 5:54 am
2180 Views
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SO many fake accts here. No interest from anyone, no friends, no idea why.
Easy prey.
Wits end.
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Today...Everyday
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Posted:Feb 18, 2012 5:22 pm
Last Updated:May 29, 2024 5:54 am
2279 Views
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Wish there was someone to whom i could vent and not have to worry they want to tranquilise me. Today is a day that was once a very happy one. Because Mr Brainiac here had to be stupid, it is now a reminder of how bad i can screw up. Why i am alone today with no clue how to snap out of it, or have help starting.
She will never see this (and would probably stomp me if she did). i miss you everyday and i know you never think of me. Melodramatic, mistaken romantic...........i delude myself, i dunno..you made me proud, but i was not allowed to be there. You made a family somewhere else and i try to keep my chin up...thinking you are so better off without me. Just the killer that it means i do not have you and the rate things are going noone else will have me.
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My typical anti-valentine rant
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Posted:Feb 14, 2012 9:06 pm
Last Updated:May 29, 2024 5:54 am
2298 Views
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i had a lot more planned for this one. is OK if i forgot most of it, not many reading, and 0 commenting, so not really a loss.
i will always thank the marketing asshat who decided to make this a commercial holiday. Thanks for creating a day that rubs the noses of the single and lonely in being that way. Please make us feel better by having a day that excludes us. Many may think that it we are not doing what we need to succeed. It is not that easy, considering the number of sites i have joined with ZERO success. Almost have caved into eHarmony (they have a trekker filter, nice to see some attractive women in starfleet uniform. GEEK OUT).
My other gripe, the one that existed even when i did have someone sharing my life, is if you care so much for him/her then why are you allowing these numbnuts to dictate to you when to celebrate it. Anniversaries make perfect sense....not valentines. If you truly love 'em, then show it every fucking day, or at least try. You never know.
Even celebration, i have watched non-love oriented films. The Quick and the Dead, break for a psych appointment, HEAT, and Once Upon a Time In the West. Have to see the timing if i need to add more.
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Alcohol
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Posted:Feb 13, 2012 12:48 am
Last Updated:Feb 13, 2012 1:27 am
2409 Views
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So much can be said about you. I avoid you and miss you. The closer to her day, the more i feel i need you. Almost reminds me of good times, days past. More, or do i fear the cheque due in the morn. And ain't it a bitch, i found vintners who make Kirschwein. If only i could find ones who imported (with escorial and drop shot). Add absinthe and you have my friends from Germany.
Forgot, cherry vodka and blood orange juice which made what i called the "bloody screwdriver."
Off to Being Human UK, Californication, and Walking Dead
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Kinda feel bad...
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Posted:Feb 11, 2012 9:59 pm
Last Updated:May 29, 2024 5:54 am
2199 Views
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...heard from, for lack of a better term, former best friend that he is headed for divorce after 10+ years of marriage. i remember being the one who rescued their relationship in its early days. She always struck me as the model Army wife. Considering she had been cheated on by her first husband, it is ironic she has done the same. i am real sorry for their 3 ......
One problem is that a very dark, evil recess is not sorry. They were the ones who hoped, and worked behind the scenes, to break me out of the only good relationship i ever had. i feel like crap for even entertaining the emotion. i may have been a trigger for a marriage to break (dunno if it happened, another depressing story) and i felt like the biggest heel for wishing i would have won that one. Almost enough to make me believe in (my bad) Karma.
i just hope for the best for him and the , dunno about the wife. She helped me in the past, but kinda hard to know how to feel about this. I hope he recovers better than i did, i would only wish that on a very rare few.
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Quick ?
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Posted:Feb 11, 2012 2:56 am
Last Updated:Feb 16, 2012 12:06 am
2302 Views
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Is it me, or are there a whole crapload of fake accounts that have just arisen in the OR region? I have noticed a lot of accts that all have some form of cutesy, pet name in them. Seems like a dump of fakes since many have appeared in less than a week.
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Past
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Posted:Feb 9, 2012 11:53 pm
Last Updated:May 29, 2024 5:54 am
2262 Views
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YAY!! Love my dreams. My faves are still the more horrid, feel better when waking from those. The torture dreams are the ones that make me believe it could all be fixed. The kind of dreams you would not mine being trapped in them. Waking hurts. Had a new twist, dreamed of her old house and returning to it. Was empty, of course. Oddly, was in the middle of a field, on a rise. Almost like an old farmhouse. Woke with the usual pain.
Sucked even more when it took forever to fall asleep (beer, vicodin, and Ambien just did not want to work) and only had 4 hours sleep. So difficult to do anything, and not tired enough to fall asleep. Almost went to see Phantom Menace 3D, has some painfully good memories....too bad considering the film. Maybe tomorrow. Have a few of our films aligned for her birthday, doubt she even thinks of them.
More items that bloweth, joined more sites in wasted effort and the hormones are ever present, but watching Boardwalk Empire instead of doing anything about it....meh!
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OK, another minor rant...well maybe minor
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Posted:Feb 7, 2012 1:29 am
Last Updated:Feb 7, 2012 6:37 pm
2232 Views
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This is not what i originally wrote. i thought the first draft was pure shit.
Second draft was crap, too.
It really was a matter of do i wanna even bother mentioning this one of my multitude psychoses (or as i often sat, i do not have issues i have volumes harahraharharhararrrrrr). AS with so many things on this site, why bother. What sucks is it might have started a flame war, which would have at least been some response to what i spew.
i also had another rant on the stupid new law the mayor of helLA has put on the porn industry there. Going to kill one more revenue stream for the city, and maybe even drive it out of Cali.
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Minor, typical MMA induced rant
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Posted:Feb 7, 2012 1:00 am
Last Updated:May 29, 2024 5:54 am
2176 Views
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Fuck You Nick Diaz!
You lost! Yes, Condit back peddled a lot and you go the only takedown; BUT, he picked you apart, scored more, and almost completely killed your normal fight plan. He did not stand in front of you and get hit, he avoided your fight. He did not give into your childish, street bitch taunts. Every time you have shown any maturity, you blow it by your Silica Vaginitis whining. In fact, you only seem to not whine and complain when you win. Please stick to your word and retire. Dana White, hold him to his word.
Condit faces GSP, the two better fighters will fight. Get back and ready to GSP, i know you are a real pro. Should be a good fight.
Now, if only Ben Henderson can take out Frankie Edgar on the 25th.
At least Walking Dead kicks up again this weekend.
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Small curiosity
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Posted:Feb 6, 2012 12:04 am
Last Updated:May 29, 2024 5:54 am
1977 Views
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Had a small jump in views today, wonder if had anything to do with Super Bowl and people finding something else to do? Because it is Sunday?
At least new series of the UK Being Human started, and The Walking Dead re-starts second half of season next week. May even torture myself and go see Phantom Menace in 3D, just to see how the post conversion looked, probably like the old paper diorama.
Noticed that traffic on blog is deflating quite spectacularly. On ALT, had a lot more traffic and still very little feedback. Went from over 100 views on first entry, previous to this one was single digits. Guess that means would be more than useless to sneak any contact info here.
Que sera sera, calm before another storm.
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Dates
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Posted:Feb 4, 2012 1:33 am
Last Updated:May 29, 2024 5:54 am
2008 Views
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18 Feb '83
31 Dec '96+'00
09 Oct '01
Most of 2004~
Hard to believe you would be 10. Everyday i am sorry i fucked up and was weak. Since that idiotic time in '04, almost everything i have done is has been a failure, or a mistake. The only day i had pride was passing basic, and it was the thought of the 2 not there who helped me do it.
Pleas let me dream of nightmares, battle...anything but them. Just once i would like to awaken and not feel the loneliness, emptiness, and weakness. Since it appears there will never be true relief, even a break from the constant hammering would be nice.
04 Feb '12
Just another day, another date, and nothing doing
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One of the days
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Posted:Feb 2, 2012 8:49 pm
Last Updated:May 29, 2024 5:54 am
2090 Views
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Typical of me? Expecting the watched pot to boil? Maybe expected waaay to much from here. Could be my typical mentality; or, am i really past the sell-by date? Multiplied by being a choosy beggar equals even less chance. So far, nearly all my hotlist/flirt traffic is from fake accounts.
Always questions, and seldom answers. Hell, even my FB traffic has hit bottom.
Still wonder why polls do not show who voted which way. Difficult to determine any result without some kinda demographic data. Not that there are a whole helluva lot of responses; so, maybe not a loss. Does anyone with paid accounts know if there is some access to voter info?
Her birthday is coming and i know i will go darker. Yes, it is possible.
How much of feeling crappy, being in pain, and not really sleeping is hindering? What would be my excuse the rest of the time. Meds need to be changed, or increased? Hardly worth chewing through the straps in the morning.
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