The hippie and the nun
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Posted:Oct 18, 2013 8:54 pm
Last Updated:Oct 20, 2013 11:39 am
4947 Views
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A hippie gets onto a bus and sits next to a nun in the front seat. The hippie looks over and asks the nun if she would have sex with him.
The nun, surprised by the question, politely declines and gets off at the next stop. When the bus starts again, the bus driver says to the hippie, "If you want, I can tell you how you can get that nun to have sex with you."
The hippie of course says that he'd love to know, so the bus driver tells him that every Tuesday evening at midnight the nun goes to the cemetery to pray to the lord. "If you went dressed in robes and some glowing powder," says the bus driver, "You could tell her you were God and command her to have sex with you."
The hippie decides to try this out. That Tuesday, he goes to the cemetery and waits for the nun. Right on schedule, the nun shows up. While she's in the middle of praying, the hippie walks out from hiding, in robes and glowing with a mask of god. "I am God, I have heard your prayers and I will answer them but you must have sex with me first," he says.
The nun agrees but asks for anal sex so she might keep her virginity. The hippie agrees to this and quickly sets about having sex with the nun.
After the hippie finishes, he rips off his mask and shouts out, "Ha ha, I'm the hippie! "
The nun replies by whipping off her mask and shouting, "Ha ha, I'm the bus driver!"
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Fifty shades of Grey- a husbands point of view!
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Posted:Oct 12, 2013 1:53 pm
Last Updated:Oct 13, 2013 9:42 am
4371 Views
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The missus bought a Paperback,...
down Shepton Mallet way,
I had a look inside her bag;
... T'was "Fifty Shades of Grey".
Well I just left her to it,
And at ten I went to bed.
An hour later she appeared;
The sight filled me with dread...
In her left she held a rope;
And in her right a whip!
She threw them down upon the floor,
And then began to strip.
Well fifty years or so ago;
I might have had a peek;
But Mabel hasn't weathered well;
She's eighty four next week!!
Watching Mabel bump and grind;
Could not have been much grimmer.
And things then went from bad to worse;
She toppled off her Zimmer!
She struggled back upon her feet;
A couple minutes later;
She put her teeth back in and said
I am a dominater !!
Now if you knew our Mabel,
You'd see just why I spluttered,
I'd spent two months in traction
For the last complaint I'd uttered.
She stood there nude and naked
Bent forward just a bit
I went to hold her, sensual like
and stood on her left tit!
Mabel screamed, her teeth shot out;
My god what had I done!?
She moaned and groaned then shouted out:
"Step on the other one"!!
Well readers, I can't tell no more;
About what occurred that day.
Suffice to say my jet black hair,
Turned fifty shades of grey
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B'Day Party
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Posted:Sep 25, 2013 6:53 am
Last Updated:Sep 25, 2013 6:59 am
4433 Views
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Hey all, we are planning to head to Moncton, for my b'day on Nov.1st.
If any of you are interested in attending, message me on here (I am keeping comments private) and I will send you the relevant info.
Who knows, it may w ork itself into a big bang 
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Things that made me chuckle.....
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Posted:Sep 12, 2013 9:54 am
Last Updated:Sep 15, 2013 7:25 pm
4785 Views
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This asshole looked at my beer belly last night and sarcastically said, "Is that Corona or Bud?"
I said, "There's a tap underneath; taste it and find out."
***********
I was talking to a girl in the bar last night. She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right."
I said, "If I did all that, I'd be talking to your girlfriends over there instead of you."
***********
I was telling a girl in the pub about my ability to guess what day a woman was born just by feeling her boobs.
"Really" she said, "Go on then...try."
After about thirty seconds of fondling she began to lose patience and said.
"Come on, what day was I born"?
I said, "Yesterday."
***********
I got caught taking a pee in the local swimming pool today.
The lifeguard shouted at me so loud, I nearly fell in.
***********
I went to the pub last night and saw a fat chick dancing on a table.
I said, "Nice legs."
The girl giggled and said with a smile, "Do you really think so."
I said "Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now. "
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Dare To Dream
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Posted:Sep 9, 2013 10:58 am
Last Updated:Oct 9, 2013 6:25 pm
2953 Views
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I've been having very erotic dreams as of late. The one that keeps repeating itself is one involving a playmate of mine.
He is licking my pussy, while in a 69 position, he loves to shove his huge cock deep into my throat. Shoving his cock deep into my throat, he suddenly leans back and starts fingering my pussy.
Shoving his cock deeper into my throat, his balls slapping me in the face, making it very hard to breathe. He starts to pump into my mouth, making me gag, I hear him start to laugh, and then I feel it, another set of hands on my legs.
I squirm trying to get away from his massive cock, trying to think who else could possibly have joined us in the room. But he is relentless, grabbing my tits and pumping his huge cock, faster and faster into my mouth and throat.
Meanwhile I feel a tongue slowly flicking over my clit, oh my, but it feels so good. I have to concentrate on catching a quick breathe as he pulls out, the other hands slowly inch inside of my dripping wet pussy.
I squirm more, trying to get away, but he wont let me, he orders me to lay still, to open my mouth further to take his cock into my throat, deep, deeper. Ohhhh but this feels so good, but so wrong.
Who is it, that's in the room with us? OMG!!!! He is spreading my legs, NO, he cant be going to fuck me, I don't know who it is, NO
No matter how much I squirm he holds me firmly in place. Then I feel it, the hard cock between my thighs, ohhhhh I have to stop this, I don't know who this is?!?!?!
He laughs and tells the other guy to "fuck her good and hard, make her squirm, and cum all over that hard cock", the other guys doesn't say a word, but enters me quickly, and starts pumping his hard cock deep into my pussy.
He is pumping into me so hard and fast, my tits are bouncing all over, OMG this feels so good. I start to moan, getting so wet, hes still pumping his fat cock into my mouth. I'm trying not to cum, but I cant take much more of this.
He knows this, and pumps harder and deeper, pinching my nipples, hard!
OHHHHHHH I cant hold back, I start to cum.
Then I hear it, BEEP BEEP BEEP,,,,Damn that was so real, was it really just a dream?? Then I feel it, I slowly run my hands down over my body, my nipples are so tender, and there is a warm,sticky mess between my legs. OMG maybe I wasn't dreaming?!?!?!?
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After Sex Comments
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Posted:Sep 6, 2013 4:02 am
Last Updated:Sep 8, 2013 5:37 pm
2882 Views
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I'm a scorpion, but Aries,Aquarius,and Pisces would also apply to me 
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Here For A Good Time........
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Posted:Aug 20, 2013 7:03 pm
Last Updated:Sep 6, 2013 3:51 am
2816 Views
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Here for a good time,,,,,,not a long time,,,,who wants to join us
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To link to this blog (Whiskey_N_Rum) use [blog Whiskey_N_Rum] in your messages.
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