My bail is $550.50
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Posted:Oct 21, 2007 1:47 pm
Last Updated:Sep 22, 2016 3:35 pm
7945 Views
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This is fun to do. Just read the "offense" and if you've done it, you owe that fine. Keep going until you've read "offense" and added up your total fine. Title your bulletin "My bail is $..." You don't have to confess your answers, just the amount of your fine.
Smocked pot-- $10
Did acid--$5
Ever had sex at church-- $25
Woke up in the morning and did not know the person who was next to you-- $40
Had sex with someone on My Space or VisionPersonals.com-- $25
Had sex for money--$ 100
Ever had sex with a Puerto Rican-- $20
Vandalized something--$20
Had sex on your parent's bed-- $10
Beat up someone--$20
Been jumped-- $10
Crossed dressed--$10
Given money to stripper-- $25
Been in love with a stripper-- $20
Kissed some one who's name you didn't know-- $10
Hit on someone of the same sex while at work-- $15
Ever drive drunk-- $20
Ever got drunk at work, or went to work while still drunk-- $50
Used toys while having sex-- $30
Got drunk, passed out and don't remember the night before-- $20
Went skinny dipping-- $5
Had sex in a pool-- $20
Kissed someone of the same sex-- $10
Had sex with someone of the same sex-- $20
Cheated on your significant other-- $10
Masturbated-- $10
Cheated on your significant other with their relative or close friend-- $20
Done oral-- $5
Got oral-- $5
Done/got oral in a car while it was moving-- $25
Stole something-- $10
Had sex with someone in jail-- $25
Made a nasty home video-- $15
Had a threesome-- $50
Had sex in the wild-- $20
Been in the same room while someone was having sex-- $25
Stole something worth over more than a hundred dollars-- $20
Had sex with someone 10 years older-- $20
Had sex under 21 and your are over 27-- $25
Been in love with two people or more at the same time-- $50
Said you love someone but didn't mean it-- $25
Went streaking-- $5
Went streaking in broad daylight-- $15
Been arrested-- $5
Spent time in jail-- $15
Peed in the pool-- $0.50
Played spin the bottle-- $5
Done something you regret-- $20
Had sex with your best friend-- $20
Had sex with someone you work with at work-- $25
Had anal sex-- $80
Lied to your mate-- $5
Lied to your mate about the sex being good-- $25
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Just not feeling it.
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Posted:Nov 18, 2006 2:31 pm
Last Updated:Sep 21, 2012 11:45 am
5161 Views
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I've been trying to think of an entertaining blog post for the last few days and have had no creative flashes. I had one at work the other day, but it ran away from me, darnit. Yes, I know, creativity is not to be forced- it is a bitter mistress (well aren't most women?). I enjoy putting creative bits up here though. I enjoy thinking that somone will read them and smile, maybe laugh, or finally realize that I am completely out of my mind (hey, someone has to find out sooner or later!). Its my way of grabbing a little attention for myself, like the pictures I have posted in my profile. Its a way of saying "pay attention to me me dammit, I'm lonely". Well, I'm not really lonely, but you get the point.
For those loyal few who check me out every day (I know there are a few of you), I hope this pleases you. I'm off to take a shower and go to Target.
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Is it wrong...
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Posted:Nov 15, 2006 7:22 pm
Last Updated:Sep 21, 2012 11:46 am
4994 Views
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to applaud when a co-worker gets fired? I couldn't help myself. I had a small private celebration when I heard one particuarly difficult co-worker would no longer be depressing us with her presence. I try to be tolerant of different personalities, quirks, and idisyncracies. But ya know, there are just some you would rather push of the roof than deal with every day. With her leaving, more hours came available and I'm sitting pretty for next paycheck. Woo hoo, time for some thong shopping!
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Edmund, the peeping Tom.
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Posted:Nov 14, 2006 1:01 am
Last Updated:Sep 21, 2012 11:47 am
5115 Views
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Edmund is a spider that lives in my bathroom. He showed up last week, I think he's just in from France. I don't know what kind of spider he is, being that I am not an arachnologist, just the creepy, 8-legged, freak-me-out kind. Hes about a half an inch across or so, but they say size doesn't matter.
Now being the somewhat superstitious type, I do not kill spiders under most circumstances, for fear it will bring bad luck. I mean, really, spiders are good for the environment, eating pests and such. But how many pests can be in the place where I brush my teeth every day? Is this some odd, arachnid commentary on my personal hygiene? Anyway. I was standing in my shower that morning, naked of course, paying heed to my backside with the scrubby and I look up. There he was, staring at me with those beady, multi-faceted eyes (I knew he was looking at me because I could see the him leering). Of course, my initial reaction was to give him a good soaking with the shower head and send him to a watery grave, but other than giving me some very inappropriate looks, he was harming nothing. As long as he stayed in that nook near the ceiling, we would get along just fine. He was informed of just that and seemed to agree.
The next time I got in the shower, there he was again, and this time, one of his friends was on the side of the tub. Much smaller, I think his name was Squiggy. All right, I thought, he's bringing in the guests. I covered Squiggy gingerly with the shower curtain and went about my business. As I turned to take up the razor, there was Edmund half way down the wall, staring again. He was about a foot from my head- too close for comfort. I threatened him with a stream of water and he skittered back up the wall. "Edmund", I said, "you just stay up there and we will get along fine. I hate spiders but I'm a reasonable woman.". There he sat for the rest of the show.
Now, every morning, I greet him and ask him how his are doing (they don't write him or visit very often). He smokes his strange French cigarettes, adjusts his beret in the most becoming manner, and states that he his here for only a short while. "In the meantime", he asked "bring me a few flies, would you?"
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A cold and rainy morning...
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Posted:Nov 13, 2006 7:51 am
Last Updated:Sep 21, 2012 11:47 am
4925 Views
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...can be very dampening on the spirits when you are inside, looking out the window. It looks dreary and miserable and just... depressing. But when I walked out onto the patio this morning to feed the always ravenous wild birds, it seemed anything but. There was a freshness to the air that only a rain can bring about. Crisp and clean, despite living in the city. With a hint of mischeviousness, though I'm not sure what its up to. Will it snow? No, the sky doesn't have that "about to dump 4 feet of snow on your unsuspecting head" look to it. Will it continue to rain and then freeze, turning everything it touches to slippery glass? Alas, I do not know. I took one final lungful of that invigorating stuff and went back in. Looking out, I once again see the drear. What a difference a pane of glass makes.
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Oops I did it again...
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Posted:Nov 12, 2006 11:50 am
Last Updated:Sep 21, 2012 11:47 am
4939 Views
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Slept until noon. Ok, til 11:30, but I have an excuse and had much better company this time around. It goes like this...
I hadn't planned on going out last night. We had met once before and I was interested in meeting again. Hes very quiet, not usually my type, but I can sense there is so much more underneath that stoic exterior. Anyway. He and I got to chatting and he invited me out to a party that he was going to with some friends at the local bar. I'm not usually one for the bar, but I was eager to see him again. When I saw him there, he was as handsome as I remember. We had drinks and quite a few laughs with his friends. After bar closed, we went to his place and well, I won't divulge every detail, but lets say I'm quite satisfied. Something about strong hands on my hips when I'm on top that just make me all... goo goo. Yum! I've not been this giddy in a long time. lol. Looking forward to the next time...
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I slept until noon...
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Posted:Nov 11, 2006 12:08 pm
Last Updated:Nov 13, 2006 8:14 am
4945 Views
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like I do sometimes. I was up until 2am perusing personals, checking my email, and just plain losing my mind. Something happens to me really early in the morning that just makes me nutty. This could be a bad thing, considering that I work third shift once or twice a week! But anyway. I went to bed at about 2:30 after watching MASH, yet again. When I woke up, I was confused- I'm not used to sleeping for this long. During the week, I'm lucky if I can get in 4 hours of zzz's. How strange the body works. Though, my Circadian rhythm is so screwed up right now b/c of work, I think it said "screw this, lady, I'm leaving". *sigh*
I have much to do today. Have to go out to my sisters to get the carpet cleaner as the carpet in the living room attracts dirt like a nekkid blonde attracts men on a street corner. Also have to run to wal-mart for some cereal- I'm starving! Well all evidence to the contrary, but I am rather famished.
Off into the crazy world, out and about, I do my deeds. Will I come home victiorious? .... probably, and then I'll be bored. hehehehe.
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I wanna be like Mike!
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Posted:Nov 10, 2006 10:18 pm
Last Updated:Nov 17, 2006 2:36 pm
4964 Views
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Well no, not really, but it seemd a fitting sentiment. I was inspired to start my own blog by a captivating woman I have met here on VisionPersonals.com. Her humor and intelligence have nudged the Cather in me and want to take another stab at this. Also, another one of my wonderful friends has encouraged me to write after I typed this as an answer to "if you could be any crayon, what color would you be?" Blue and slightly melted into the carpet. Creative nuggets like this occasionally slip out of my coiled, confused, and twisted brain and lay themselves upon the auditory nerve of any who will listen. Sadly, I feel it does not happen often enough, only when I'm alone. Kind of like the answer to the eternal question "If a lone tree makes a joke in the woods, is it funny?".
So. I am here to amuse, entertain, rant, pontificate, obfuscate, and just plain discombobulate those lucky few than run across this literary amalgamated thing of malaproprious indecency.
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To link to this blog (SweetBaileyK) use [blog SweetBaileyK] in your messages.
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