What I Win
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Posted:Jun 5, 2014 12:02 pm
Last Updated:Jul 15, 2014 11:24 pm
8588 Views
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Her petals open at night
Wet and warm they invite
Softness
More
My tongue must taste
The undeniable sweetness
The sticky nectar that sustains me
Wet and warm they invite
Understanding
More more
My fingers must know
The small hardness
The sound of her quickening
Wet and warm they invite
The large hardness
More more more
To fill our open hearts
The softness is stronger than the hardness
And her petals never fall
And we move and breathe as one
I wrote this this morning after finishing a game of solitaire on my phone. I'd added this photo from my lover's blog as the background to the game so I think of her petals every time I play.
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When is bigger TOO big?
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Posted:Jun 3, 2014 7:58 am
Last Updated:Jul 27, 2014 7:40 am
9086 Views
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I'm well-endowed. I've got a big fucking cock. I'm a shower and a grower. Sound like I should be happy, right?
My lover and I have had two amazing sex sessions recently that left her bruised and sore for three days. The best sex of my life, and she cums many times and loves it too.
And it's hurting her!
So I'm digging in to find some answers.
Here are a few I've found so far:
More foreplay
Lube. Lots of lube. Even though she gets very wet
Her on top to control the depth
From behind but with her all the way on your belly.
With her legs closed while She is on top.
Tell me when I'm too deep. Let's focus on the head rather than the whole shaft.
Anal
And lots of oral.
But it would be so sad to give up fucking. Being inside her is the best feeling I have ever experienced.
Suggestions, fellow sex addicts?
Links:
I like this discussion in particular:
http://VisionPersonals.com.com=409396&page=3
And this is my favorite from the large penis support group:
http://VisionPersonals.com.com
http://VisionPersonals.com.com
http://VisionPersonals.com.com
http://VisionPersonals.com.com
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Pillars, not pedestals
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Posted:Jun 1, 2014 1:10 am
Last Updated:Jul 15, 2014 11:25 pm
8661 Views
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My lover and I were comparing putting a woman on a pedestal, and how subtly demeaning it is, taking away her rightful place as a co-pillar of functional society. And of course there are more than two genders - and they're all pillars, and none should be put on a pedestal.
This doesn't deny the inherent divinity of each of us, and the validity of adoration in the moment of connection. Just leave us both on the ground, please.
I'd love to hear thoughts on this.
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Vulnerability: How to end misogyny. And all violence.
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Posted:May 29, 2014 7:07 am
Last Updated:Jul 15, 2014 11:25 pm
8428 Views
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A friend of mine on Facebook wrote this brilliant and powerful exhortation on what we each have to do after Elliot Rodgers.
I had to edit this post because of VisionPersonals.com'S automatic hate speech censor. So where you see rpe you can substitute another word.
"To admit you have feelings even when you don't know how the other person feels. To willfully and gleefully give yourself up. To cede control. To share all your secrets. Because this is true power. This is the opposite of fear."
My heart is heavy. My mind is troubled. My soul is scarred.
I don't know how to write this.
I don't know how not to.
So much has been written about it already I can't imagine that I have anything new to say…but then, that is part of the problem. So much has been written already. Such an effort is being made to “explain” this tragedy, to “make sense of it”, even to “justify” it. So many words aimed at not taking responsibility for it.
On May 23rd a young man in Isla Vista waged a war against humanity as revenge for the “fact” that women were not attracted to him. He killed 7 people, himself included. Many, many people have written about this event already. Blame is levied against the Pick Up Artist Community (PUA), against the murderer's mental condition, the misogynistic nature of our society. Blame is levied. Fault is found. And we uneasily settle back into the comfortable story that this was an extreme action, an unusual circumstance, and the killer himself is dead. A terrible tragedy is over and we can lick our wounds and move on so long as we can make certain that blame is placed somewhere other than ourselves.
This is a defensive mechanism. How can we possibly take on all of that, the actions, the reasoning, the mentality, how can we take on the entire rpe culture? Its like trying to take on pollution single handed. Its like trying to stop deforestation, its too much for us to handle.
In his video, titled “Retribution” the murderer explains his reasoning in a manner that seems to make perfect sense to him. He wants love, affection, and sex - he is already 22 years old and has not had it handed to him yet. The women who have this commodity are not sharing it with him, instead they are giving it to other men (brutes). They have the audacity, the gall, the absolute rudeness to not be attracted to him and for that they must pay. The most chilling line for me is:
“They would have all rejected me and looked down upon me as an inferior man if I ever made a sexual advance towards them”
He is not suffering from actual rejection – it is the fear of rejection that has brought him to this point. He is so certain that they would have rejected him it's not even worth it to ask. I am not saying that he has never been rejected, I am sure he has at least by his own measurements, to the point that the fear of rejection is so strong, it is easier just to assume it than to risk it actually happening. But the fact that he is the one rejecting himself does not make the rejection any less real to him.
AND somehow rejection = inferior man.
It is an absolute irrefutable truth inside this fellow's head that if a woman rejects you she thinks you are inferior. Which suggests that if she did not find you inferior she would gift you with the love, sex, and affection that a “superior man” deserves. His attempt to prove that he is the true “Alpha Male” (A PUA reference) can only be achieved either through sexual prowess or extreme violence (or supposedly great wealth according to some reports, but even that is mostly just a means to get sex).
…
Are we really buying into this idea that our value as men; our worth, is contingent on whether or not we can get laid?
Yes we are.
All of us are.
Every single one.
At some point in our lives we find ourselves acting on the subconscious belief that sex is a measure of success. There is a repeated message that we should be more like James Bond; like any Disney Movie (with the possible exception of Frozen); or really any action hero on any movie/tv-show/play/book that we have encountered that proves to us without a shadow of a doubt that not only do good guys always win, they always get the girl...unless the girl is an evil part of a plot to destroy the hero. I read an article some time ago on the cracked.com website (http://www.cracked.com/article_19785_5-ways-modern-men-are-trained-to-hate-women.html). It outlines in startlingly humorous wording that we have been taught to absolutely believe that the hero always gets the girl, which suggests that if we are not “getting the girl” there is something wrong either with us, or with the girl. This is dangerous, because obviously there is nothing wrong with us. Again we must shift the blame of off us.
The thing that is bothering me the most is how desperately we are trying to distance ourselves from this. So many of us trying to blame it on Asperger's. To proclaim this mentally unstable, sexually deprived, annhilative young man as different from us. To blame it on misogyny in general. To blame it on the Pick up Artist community, or more accurately The PUA Hate community. Elliot was part of a PUA Hate group. Whenever anyone writes about him being part of a PUA Hate group they always take great pains to explain that this group hates PUA for the “wrong reasons”. A group that hates the fact that following the tips and tactics in the PUA guidebook will not grant them instant sex. Which suggests that there are “right” reasons to hate PUA. … Why don't we take a moment to think about this? The tips and tactics outlined in PUA do not bend women to your will, do not cause instant gratification. What do they do?
I read “The Game”, which is arguably “The Bible” of the PUA community. Well I read the first chapter. But just from that I could see that it was more a method of building confidence and daring to ask, than it was a means to control people. Have you ever seen the movie “Hitch”? If not, take a moment and go watch it. What I am about to say next will make so much more sense if you have that as a frame of reference.
Fine, for those of you unwilling to run to Redbox I will attempt to summarize. Will Smith has learned all the tips of seduction and offers to teach men how to get any woman they want. It sounds manipulative and controlling. Its not. Its seductive. Seduction is the art of getting people to do what they want to do. (I forgot who said that). There is no way I can do justice to the meaning of the movie. Really, take a moment and go watch it before you read further.
And that is a tragic irony to me. One of the “reasons” being cited for what pushed Elliot over the edge is that he invested in a system that, if followed, teaches you to put yourself out there, to dare, to risk, to try and yet if you read his manifesto, listen to his youtube tirade, he never did. “The” girl he first had a crush on; he never told her. The sorority sisters who “would have rejected him if he had ever made a sexual advance on them”. The girl he started to like in college who he was devastated to find out had a boyfriend. He did not tell them, he did not ask, yet in his mind he was absolutely convinced not only that they would not accept him, but that they took great pleasure in making him feel like an unwanted outsider. … He was the one causing his pain. He was the only one even aware of his pain. He hated a group that had the potential to help him achieve everything he ever wanted, if he was only willing to work for it. Instead he found it easier to assume, and to make it someone else's fault.
What about us? We continue to try and make it “not our problem.” to make it someone else's fault. To consider it an isolated incident that is far away from us and that as tragic as it is, has nothing to do with us. But it IS us. We have all felt the pain of feeling like we did not belong, we have all been rejected, the most horrifying aspect of these murders is that there is a part of us that can somewhat identify with the feelings he expressed.
Neil Strauss, author of “The Game”, wrote:
“There are many men and women in this world who feel alone. There are many who are frustrated with and often angry at the opposite sex. There are many who go through months or years or even a lifetime without ever having the connection they yearn for, while they watch others who seem to be having all the fun or all the luck. They need support, not shame.
They already spend enough time shaming themselves as it is. And they need good advice that helps them, because one bad experience with a phony pickup artist or dating coach can lead them to end their journey to passion, happiness, connection, and self-actualization before it's even started.”
He was not talking about Elliot Rodgers. … or at least, he was not aware that he was.
How do we take responsibility for something as tragic as this? How can we cope with the mountain of guilt that will be ours if we accept this as our problem? OUR problem, our FAULT. Yours and mine. Of course we want to shift the blame. But we can't. While I understand that ultimately it was the disturbed young man who did the killing, and that I am not responsible for murder. I AM responsible for not fighting the ideology that fueled his personal demons.
So are you.
Stop trying to shift the blame, to distance yourself from the horror, to ignore the warning signs. This is an epidemic that we can only stop if we are willing to fight.
How do we win this war?
It's really pretty simple.
We can't.
There is too much, there is nothing any one of us can do that will make a big enough difference to effect lasting change. But as one of my personal hero's once wrote, “If nothing we do matters, then ALL that matters is what we do.” Don't fight misogyny because its something that can be overcome, fight it because fighting it makes you more of a man.
Take a moment to understand to really truly understand that every time you are in a locker room with other men who are talking about “hitting that” or proclaiming your studlyness by how many women you have been with, and by naming names, consider that every derogatory sexist comment you hear or make is a hate crime. That every time you shame a woman for her appearance whether she is a slut, or a prude, whether she is a tease, or a bitch; that every time you catcall because you don't have the guts to simply pay her a sincere compliment. (because she might laugh at you, or reject you). That every time you simply stare at her with lust as she walks through the room. It is no different than standing in a room of white supremacist and listening to them talk about other races. You may think its no big deal, you may think that everyone else in the room gets that it's all a joke (in poor taste) and that it's so absurd that anyone would ever truly feel that way that no one can really be hurt by it. You may think that it's not worth the effort to stand up to it. Then again, you may also be the one who shows the “Elliot Rodgers” in the world that the myth is a lie. You may be helping them understand that not every young man loses his virginity by the age of 22. That not all the rest of the world is engaging in hedonistic pleasure. That some of them are not even engaged in pleasure of any kind. That even if they are that it is by no means something that should be expected and that it absolutely is not a measure of one's manhood. In fact (speaking as someone who was a virgin once) you might even be the one that helps them understand that as good as sex is, it is not, and never will be quite as good as they imagine. Certainly not worth dying for. Love maybe, sex no.
Sex is not a “game”. Sex is not a goal. Sex is garnish for a relationship, whether that relationship is marriage, or friends with benefits, or a one night stand, sex is fun, but it's not a goal. The more you pursue sex for its own sake the harder it is to obtain, the creepier you become and the less enjoyable it is when you catch it. But the answer is not to stop wanting it. The answer is not to pretend we are above it. The answer is not to hide our feelings, to protect ourselves from rejection by never making an advance, the answer is to acknowledge.
Say that which you are most afraid to say, that which you are terrified people will mock you for, that which you are certain no one will ever be able to accept you for, say it as loud as you can. Don't hide away until you feel the only way you can be heard is to go on a murderous rampage. Because that is the poison. And this, I think, is the point I am trying to make. It's not about pretending we don't feel alone, it's not about avoiding rejection, it's not about shaming ourselves for feeling desire. Its about admitting it. Its about having the maturity not only to handle rejection but to be grateful for it. To make sexual advances without expectation, without entitlement, with confidence. To admit you have feelings even when you don't know how the other person feels. To willfully and gleefully give yourself up. To cede control. To share all your secrets. Because this is true power. This is the opposite of fear. Let people know everything they could use against you, and let it be their choice how to react. Remove all your armor, drop all your defenses, surrender absolutely. You will be so much stronger for it. And misogyny will die.
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My first HNW - my ass after 17 hours of amazing sex
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Posted:May 28, 2014 2:32 pm
Last Updated:Jul 15, 2014 11:26 pm
8584 Views
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My lover and I started around 4pm yesterday and she just left at 1pm today. I figure we slept for 3 hours, and ate and talked for another, but pretty much the rest of the time we played. I am so reluctant to wash off her delicious scent.
My ass wasn't much the focus of our activities... but hers was. I forgot to ask her to shoot the photo together before she left and am hoping she posts one of her very delectable ass herself.
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Perfect fit
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Posted:May 12, 2014 11:54 pm
Last Updated:Jul 15, 2014 11:27 pm
8903 Views
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Have you ever had a lover who was truly a perfect fit? Where your bodies just flowed into one another and merge? Where your cock is just the right size and her pussy pulls you in - so much that no matter which way you move it feels even better, that even when you cum and soften you stay in and fall asleep together?
That. Tonight.
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To link to this blog (Smokeblower) use [blog Smokeblower] in your messages.
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