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Where do I begin...
 
Well, I don't know if that was such a smart title but what the hell... I am not really sure where to begin or where this blog will take me.
I guess I should start with a little more about myself than I put on my profile. I like to put my thoughts to paper so to speak and at times I a sure I will offend. But I don't really care, opinions are like assholes and everyone has one.
With that said I welcome any and all comments just remember that I have the right to return comment and most likely will.
I have been told that I am passionate, quirky, loving and funny and oh yeah moody. Am I well to find out you will have to get to know me. I am real and if you don't think so well then move on sucka your wasting me time. Alot of the times my blogs will be about my life activities, especially sex but occasionally I may blog about something like I don't know erotica. I am a very sexual person and I am not ashamed of that, if I were why would I be on "The World's Largest Sex..." you get the picture. Oh and also, although I don't know why I am wasting my time because the assholes usually don't read blogs, but if I am not interested that means I AM NOT INTERESTED!!!!
I look forward to meeting some fun people here and hope i won't be disappointed.
Keywords | Title View | Refer to a Friend |
Turing things around
Posted:Jun 21, 2013 11:59 am
Last Updated:Jun 29, 2013 11:00 am
12187 Views

I have posted about cheaters and got peoples opinions so I thought I would turn it around...

How would you feel if you were cheating on your partner and found out they were doing the same?

For those new to the lifestyle, there are different levels and boundaries of an open relationship.
Some couples only have sex in front of others but don't swap, others swap with only the other in the room, and then others play without their partners. Some even have a don't ask don't tell type of boundary.

I am referring the people who are married or in a relationship and your partner doesn't know you are stepping out. How would you feel and react to finding out your partner was stepping out too?
Would you feel indignant, angry, sad, or just surprised?

Has anyone had this experience? Something to think about...
3 Comments
Losing a friendship is like getting divorced
Posted:Jun 19, 2013 5:53 pm
Last Updated:Jun 22, 2013 6:44 am
11235 Views

Losing a friendship is just like a nasty divorce. Of course you would hope that in the divorce you were losing a friendship in a sense. One that had slowly dissolved long before the nastiness.
You learn who your friends are and you learn things about the other person you either ignored or they come to light.

Things tend to get ugly before the whole thing is over and by the time its done one or both parties are battered and bruised.

You have the friends of one talking shit about the other and all these things come to light. WOW!

Why can't people just stay out of the break up and let the two involved muddle through it? Because we as humans crave chaos, its not enough to just walk away. If one of the parties says something to someone, that person feels the need to go back and tell what was said or how they interpret it. Someone always has to say something to start more shit. Someone demands that people start to take sides, or they just do it they side with the one they think is in the right. Although not all break ups have a right and wrong. When I say break up I am including friendships.

You will hear, "I never liked him/her anyway..." What the hell???? You liked them prior to the mess... Oh so you were being FAKE? I see how that goes and I should still be friends with you knowing how petty you can be... Umm NO I don't think so! Well at least that's how I see it. But in the heat of the moment you will agree with whatever anyone says about the other because you are angry and hurt. Its a hell of a lot easier to blame the other person than it is to see your were part of the situation too.

So how many agree that losing a friendship is a lot like an ugly divorce?
0 Comments
Needing my head examined
Posted:Jun 19, 2013 8:21 am
Last Updated:Jun 19, 2013 2:56 pm
11979 Views
I haven't seen boy toy in over a week but have been in contact with him.
I had some suspicions about him and they have come to light.

Now don't jump to conclusions, its not really anything bad just behavioral things I have discovered and er have finally accepted.

He has to be in control of our situation. Such as when we meet. Most of the time if I text him for a (okay I will call it what it is...) A BOOTY CALL he is either not available or ignores the text. At first this used to piss me off and offend me. But now after studying the subject I realize he needs to be in control of the situation with us.

Perhaps he needs to be this way to ensure himself I am not getting attached. LOL the only thing I am attached to him is the sex! God love him, if we didn't have such mind blowing sex his ass would have been flapping in the breeze 10 months ago. And trust me I have told him to bugger off a few times in the past year and he steps up.

The issue I have now is when I don't hear from him or fuck him within a certain amount of time...
I start to write him off and think he is bored with me and its time to get serious about looking for a replacement. I don't myself about our situation. It is what it is... He recently found out that I fuck other guys or should I say he got confirmation of it, shouldn't read over my shoulder. He also makes sure I know I am not the only one...
I was at his place one day and he had a letter sitting out on his desk, I glanced at it and saw the words I love you. It was from a girl.And I mean GIRL, she said things like MY...GUY and she used hearts to dot her "I's" My first thought, "HOLY SHIT I'm getting my ass kicked to the curb, its happened! He met someone. But then I thought, well he is with me right now so if it happens it happens. I'm gonna enjoy myself while I can and start looking for another boy toy."

What I don't understand is, I get stupid and school girlish when he does contact me and I am willing to alter my plans just to see him! WTF is wrong with me???
Why am I allowing this boy to have such a hold over me? Is it the sex? The convenience, he lives 20 mins from my home and work yummy lunch quickies... Or is it something else?

I am extremely attracted to him. But at times want to slap him upside his pretty little head. I know I don't want more with him, so what is it?

1 comment
FWB
Posted:Jun 18, 2013 8:32 am
Last Updated:Jun 18, 2013 2:16 pm
11842 Views
While talking to and reading someone's post a question came to mind...
Well maybe two lol!

What is a friend with benefits? And does it mean something different to men than women...

For the latter I am beginning to think it does.
Women, or the one's I've talked to see the definition as such:

A friend with benefits is someone you hang out with in and out of the bedroom. Someone you can chat with, call when you need to bitch, go out for drinks, and yes, yes have SEX...

For men or my experiences...

A friend with benefits is someone you call when you want to FUCK. ie A FUCK BUDDY, BOOTY CALL, what have you.

Its been my experience through mine and other women that men fear attachment. What they don't understand is women are nurturing by nature and don't attach like men do.
Our friends are people we call for the most mundane things, we can go into a store and get in trouble, call each other to pick our drunk asses up from the bar.
Just because we text or call you; or say we want to see you it doesn't mean we are in LOVE with you and want to have your babies! Hell no! There are some men that I could hang out with all day have a blast and not really care to have sex with them...
Others, we can try to go out in public and would probably get arrested. Then of course there are the friends with benefits, the guys you keep your distance from but do tend to open up or say things we wouldn't say to a booty call or a regular friend.

Guys this doesn't mean we want you 24/7!!! It just means we consider you a friend... Boy toy is a BOOTY CALL, I haven't spend more than an hour with with since we met and I can honestly say I don't know if I would want to... I don't text him to say I had a horrible day come out with me so we can people watch, etc. I did tell him once that I wanted to lock him in my closet and take him out when I was horny.

I did meet a guy once who I thought was a FWB and boy was I mistaken!
He would text or email me every day, and we shared some intimate things, feelings. So when I was going through a rough patch in my life and he was out of town. We were talking and I said, "I really wish I could drive down to see you."
He said, " You'r not getting attached are you???"
My response, "Fuck no! I am going through some shit or haven't you noticed and I want you fuck me silly so I can forget about it for a while! Attached??? Really???"
Needless to say next time I text him he told me he met someone and wants to have a relationship with her. Great hope it works out!!! Two days later he is back on VisionPersonals.com... Hmmmm funny...

So guys what do you think is a friend with benefits? Ladies? Obviously we disagree and I think we need to find some common ground. Too many frustrated women out there finding guys who blow their minds sexually, and enjoy hanging out and the guys are running scared because they think we want a ring put on it!

1 comment
Jersey Girl
Posted:Jun 16, 2013 1:23 pm
Last Updated:Jun 16, 2013 3:49 pm
11550 Views

I'm a Jersey Girl.

No matter how hard I tried to purge this she always comes back. So I have decided to finally embrace this.

I was born in Virginia, lived in Alabama, Oklahoma,and Tennessee but I am not a SOUTHERN BELLE. Lawd knows they tried to make me one. Well "Bless your hearts ladies!" I'm too straight forward for that kind of life.

I have lived in Colorado for 14 yrs now and still can't embrace the laid back attitude of the true "Colorado Natives" I love ya'll (oops there's that southern influence again) But its just not me...

I am a JERSEY GIRL through and through, for that I will not apoligize. We are strong and outspoken. We are loyal to a fault and will kick the shit out of anyone who hurts our loved ones. Who else can survive a terrible hurricane like us Jersey Girls? Jersey Strong sisters!

Snookie from the show " Jersey Shore" is an embarrassment to all JERSEY GIRLS near and far! I don't even know if she is truly from Jersey or if she is from the other side of the river. If you're from NJ you know what I mean. We are somewhat geographically divided, you have North Jersey and the Shore. But then you also have the far northern part of the state state that believe it or not is in the mtns. Not quite what us westerners would call mountains lol but they are there. The Appalachian Mountain range. The same place I learned to hike and camp, I do miss them but not ready to give up on the Rockys! For the most part I am a happy transplant... But I do miss the Atlantic... my true home...

If you couldn't already tell I'm from the Shore. I actually partied in the place where the Jersey Shore was filmed. I spent my summers in Seaside, and Ortley Beach.

So if there are any other Jersey Girls out there give me a shout and pat yourselves on the back. We are a rare breed that you cannot find anywhere else. Unless you were raised there you just wouldn't understand...
JERSEY STRONG, JERSEY GIRL
4 Comments
My blogs...
Posted:Jun 15, 2013 5:51 pm
Last Updated:Jul 20, 2013 9:38 pm
11326 Views
My blogs aren't like others.They are not always to entertain you. They are for me to purge my thoughts whether happy,angry, or sad.

Right now I am floating in and out of a dark place...

A place I haven't seen in a long time but with life's circumstances I have been brought here.

I am known for being a strong woman, well even strong women need someone to hold them up from time to time.
I recently lost the one who would do that for me. He is not dead, but he may as well be for me...

If you keep up with my posts then you know the person I used to consider my friend and confidant betrayed my trust. That is a dangerous thing to do... It rocked my world and not in a good way.
And when I attempted to reach our and make amends for what I assume hurt him, he ignored me. So again for all intents and purposes he is dead.

People often ask why I keep up such a high wall, well the events of this past week will certainly give you that answer.
I have always and will continue to be upfront and honest with people, at times you won't like what I have to say but I guarantee I will make you think...

Recently talking to a new acquaintance I learned that I had reined in my venom when in a mixed crowd. I told her I don't hide the dislike I have for certain people who are a part of a group I am no longer a part. She said she sensed a bit of coldness but not as bad as she now realizes. I have a tattoo on my back that is a bit of brand sadly it came from someone who need not be mentioned anymore. But it says "HEARTLESS WENCH" Recently I said I don't deserve to have such a name, I am mellowing out.
I let my guard down for this person and got kicked in the teeth for it. I tried to be cordial and nice to people who I couldn't stand to be in the same room with! Why would I do that you ask? Because I thought it was the right thing to do... Maybe it has to do with being professional and knowing you can't always show your true feelings, GOD forbid I should offend.

Well I am here to tell you I am in a DARK place right now and will eventually crawl out of it but it will not be without scars that won't heal. And I warn you to tread lightly.

I will get back to myself eventually. Be humorous and witty. But the talons will always be sharpened ready to strike...

Pain can make a person hard. I am devastated at the occurrences of this past week. I have been told I am jaded and they are right I am but its not from being closed off its from being foolish enough to let someone in.
Before you start judging and thinking there was more to my friendship with him. Forget it! We were or so I THOUGHT best friends. I was NOT romantically involved with him. All I ever wanted was for him to be happy. Maybe that is why I kept my mouth shut for so long. Who knows...

All I know is this week I felt let down, betrayed, and hurt. But also relieved that I didn't let anyone else get close from that "group"

2 Comments
Don't depend on anyone in this world
Posted:Jun 13, 2013 5:57 pm
Last Updated:Jun 15, 2013 6:15 pm
11491 Views

Don't depend too much on anyone in this world
Because even your shadow leaves when you are in darkness...


This is something someone posted on another site and found it to be quite fitting for this week...

I learned that people who claim to be my friend actually weren't.
I'm not looking for pity. Trust me!

Just heed the warning, Don't depend too much on anyone...
You never know when their lives will be too important for you.

Sad thing about it is the person who recently did this to me, knew just how hard it was for to open up to someone.

I am an honest person who speaks my mind and I always will. If that means I have fewer "friends" then so be it.
I don't trust easily, and I usually a good judge of character guess I missed this one,or maybe he just outgrew my friendship. Which is just fine, I sensed it coming, at first just thought it was my insecurities. But now I know I was wrong I should have and will from now on go with my senses.

Funny thing is I know others have read my blog prior to this one but instead of posting a comment about it, they are talking amongst themselves. How horrible I must be for posting how I felt...
Talk away, if you talk about me you talk about each other when they are not around. At least I have a clear conscience and know you know how I feel.

I would rather have one true friend than 50 fair weather friends...

With all that has transpired this week I am rethinking my choices.
This includes leaving this site for a while. At least until I can get my legs back under me. And regain what little trust I did have for people again.

I talked to someone today who said its sad that ppl like this exist because they make it hard for others to get in. Well that is the truth!
And too bad for those who think differently.

I will not longer worry about hurting someone's feelings and being polite just because I am in a mixed group.

The scabs will heal but there will always be scars that run deep.
5 Comments
Respect
Posted:Jun 9, 2013 5:09 pm
Last Updated:Jul 4, 2014 5:24 pm
12277 Views
People have told me I keep a wall up and don't completely let others in...
This post should give you insight as to why..

I had an ephiphanny today, or should I more like a slap across my face.

For the past year or so I have lost my self respect and allowed others to disrespect me as well...

I don't know when it first happened but today it came to a head.

My best friend, (or so I thought) came over after work to help me with something and during this time I asked him some questions that have been looming in the back of my head but I feared hurting his feeling. See what I mean, can't disrespect him and hurt his feelings. "OH NO!"

Well I did, we started discussing the issue we discussed last week and posted about and I found out things that disturbed me. He has no intentions of cutting this star struck woman loose. He will continue to talk to her and spend time with her. I thought that was the root cause of my frustration then I realized it wasn't!

He mentioned about his comfort level being compromised by being the "3rd" if you have been in the lifestyle long enough you know what I am talking about.
So I said to him... "How do you think I felt when you went someplace with me as my "date" and put me as the third?" Its pretty disrespectful don't you think? Inviting or allowing another woman to invite herself back to "OUR" room? How many times have you disappeared when we were out and about and left me to do my thing? Without asking it I was ok? I can remember 1 time you refused to leave my side... ONE!"
You say you are learning and it takes time. Well I'm sorry I will not be part of your learning process if it means I get treated with disrespect.

You lied to me on a few occasions, you know how I feel about being lied to... Maybe you were lying to yourself, who knows but again I will not be a part of it. You want PhoebeK to know you don't want a relationship but then you behave as if you do, you need to make up your mind and stop bullshitting around.

To the others who have disrespected me these past 12 months, you have blown me off and made excuses about how busy you are, too fucking busy to drop a line and say sorry just busy. Well guess what? I'm too fucking busy to deal with your bullshit ass! I do delete ppl if I don't hear from them. The sad part about many of these assholes is they try and contact me again like they have never talked to me before...Guess what guys, I have a very good memory! I remember you all you sorry ass little fuckers! You are the reason this site gets such a shitty !

Don't take my kind nature as a weakness, I am a "HEARTLESS WENCH" and often have trouble retracting my claws.

I had to update my profile for the idiots who didn't get it when it said in small print I am not a picture collector nor do I cam, or cyber. One guy told me to go fuck myself then text me just today...
WTF???

Pissy because I can't host, well too fucking bad! My is more important to me than having your cock inside me! Upset because I won't drive 20-30 mins to see you... Awww poor baby you fucking want me that bad, come and fucking get me! Or better yet get a fucking room!

I am so done with been treated like a second class citizen! I am done with being a 3rd when I should be first!
I am not talking about a "relationship" People throw that fucking word around too damn much too! I am talking about treating me with the respect I deserve and if you are wondering the BOY TOY got the same fucking speech!

So for all you assholes that think tits and pussy don't deserve respect, go else where I am not weak enough to allow you to treat me like this
anymore!

6 Comments
Who should host?
Posted:Jun 1, 2013 3:52 pm
Last Updated:Jun 11, 2013 7:35 pm
11983 Views
Something that has been going through my mind the past few weeks is who should be expected to host when you plan to "hook up"?

I recently added to my profile that I am unable to host very often. I felt I had to do this because it seemed the men contacted me expected me to be the one to do so...

Why is that? The answers I have received thus far are as follows:

I am married- Oh so I should host because you are stepping out?

I have roommates- So do I he is my ...

I live with my parents- We WON'T go there!

So my suggestion... Get a room.
Then of course the question goes out why should he pay for it? Good question indeed! Either you get a room or wait until I can host. Which is... Not very often unless its during the school year.I refuse to subject my to my sex life. And I am worth it.

A few have suggested sex outdoors. GREAT! You own property where we can go? I sure as hell am not going to risk my freedom for a cock!
Other's have said let's go for a ride, again no go!
The laws have gotten too strict for me to risk that and I value my too much to do it.

So where is it written the woman is expected to host? Why do so many get pissed off when I say I can't host?
Are there really single parents out there that don't care what their see? Or am I the only one on here that has a minor living
with me?

2 Comments
Friendship
Posted:Jun 1, 2013 12:11 pm
Last Updated:Jul 4, 2014 5:12 pm
12043 Views

Have you had a friend that you are nearest and dearest and would protect from the ills of the world if you could? I usually keep quiet until I can't take anymore...

I have been learning this is a fault of mine. I have a dear dear friend who seems to put himself in situations that don't turn out well for him.

Case in point...

He meets a woman for fun. I meet said woman and warn him. She is a cling on! She is going to attach herself to you and not let go!

He assures me that won't happen.

About 6 months(more or less) down the road and she still thinks he is her man and solely her man. To the point she posts on his page every time he posts something, most of the time its benign stupid shit that doesn't even need to be said but she does it because she thinks she is staking her claim.
Lately he has been commiserating on how he feels bad about her and he is going to have to tell her soon to back the fuck off. Not his words mine of course.

Sadly the rest of his "friends" know he although a sweet loving guy. He is also like myself a FREE SPIRIT not to be tied down. But this one sad sad lonely little girl can't seem to get it through her head! I am to the point of telling her to get a life and get over herself but alas I know its not my place to tell her. Its HIS.

The other issue, I won't even give her the right to be called anything else...
She is someone who lives on the East Coast, works a high profile job and poses as, squeaky clean to the public, co workers, peers etc.
It ok she thinks its ok to troll this site and find people she sees as below her class to meet. She gets off on rubbing shoulders with the lesser folk. So she meets my unsuspecting friend and they hit it off. She comes back to good ole Colorado to see him again and things go a bit awry. Without getting into too much detail, she pretty much left him wondering what the hell just happened?

He called me and I did what I could to help him understand just what type of thing she was and to help him try and let go. Well like a typical man he didn't let go. As a matter of fact he pursued her for a few months to no avail. She basically ignored his attempts for answers.

Then out of the blue she starts sniffing around again, WONDERING if things could have been different... YOU FUCKING THINK!!!! So now she has her hooks into him again. He seems to think things will be different this time.
He knows I am a great judge of character, I can understand peoples behaviors, but he is ignoring and letting his ego take over so I am choosing to bow out and let him get his due. I will mind my own business and make sure he knows I am not a part of this debacle.

He has pretty much told me to let him do what he wants so that is exactly what I am doing. He can deal with the Cling on and her fantasies of them living happily every after in her delusional world and he can have the snob from the East. They can both pull him apart at the seams and when he is finally put back together I will be there. But for now I don't have the strength to watch a friend walk into the lion's den with is eyes open.

Keep in mind these events are abbreviations of the what has occurred.
9 Comments
Sloppy Seconds
Posted:May 28, 2013 4:46 pm
Last Updated:May 30, 2013 2:26 pm
13162 Views
We have all had them, may not have known we were the sloppy second. Some enjoy it, get turned on by it. Others don't... I don't like it but it happens.

So now to the story lol...

I text boy toy the other day. He asks when I will be over. I tell him the time he says ok.

Not 15 mins later he text again, "How long?"
I'm thinking, "slow your roll bitch, I'm on my way."
I tell him I'm on my way and how far he says OK because I'm waiting for someone to leave.

WOW! I think, "you little mother fucker! You just fucked some bitch and now you want ME to come over???? I'm going home fuck that shit!"

Continue driving, send him a text... Shower...
He responds, "huh? you want to take another shower?"

I'm thinking... "Your goddamn right I do wash that bitch off before I get there!"
I text him... "Yes take a shower before I get there, if you were just with someone take a shower."

Him... "No"

Me thinking... "you little fucking shit! You can just go to hell and fuck yourself!"
My text... "Your not gonna shower?"

Him... "No I didn't have sex with anyone lol"

Me... thinking, "you better not be lying you little piece of shit i will beat your ass if I smell someone else!"
My text... "K"

Him... "We're all good babe?"

Me... "Ya"

I don't care if I am second,or third as long as you wash that shit off. And I don't want to know about it...
When your with me you are WITH ME and that's that...
I know I have had more than one guy in day and should probably buy stock in condoms and feminine hygiene products but ya know...

So anyway question of the day...
How you feel about sloppy
seconds?

10 Comments
Have you ever...
Posted:May 26, 2013 7:50 am
Last Updated:May 28, 2013 4:19 pm
11979 Views

Have you ever met someone and felt major chemistry and wondered how the other person felt? Are they interested? You can't get them out of your mind...

I recently met someone who did this to me. I am not sure what to do. I have heard from him since we met but haven't made any plans since.The question that goes through my mind is he contacting me to make himself feel better so he doesn't have to blow me off? Or is he wanting to keep me open for other possibilities.
I see him online here but haven't messaged him.
I am not one to chase, but often wonder if I am missing out on an opportunity because I am not taking a chance.

I'm in a strange place right now, my boy toy and I are at a cross roads and I think it may be fizzling out. This is making me feel very vulnerable and its a feeling that doesn't make me comfortable. I see his likeness in others and it disturbs me... He is on my mind but not how you think, those that know me know I can compartmentalize and I do.
Am I possibly mourning the loss of a great sexual relationship. The convenience of having someone so close and accessible to me is great! To lose that... Not fun

So do I pursue this new possibility or do I wait to see where he goes with it?
6 Comments
I'm a cock sucker
Posted:May 21, 2013 7:51 am
Last Updated:May 28, 2013 4:49 pm
11789 Views
I'm a cock sucker but not in the derogatory way...

I was recently talking to a guy, and the subject of oral was brought up. I of course mentioned I love it!
He said, "receiving I'm sure.."
"Of course receiving but also giving." was my response.
He was surprised and asked isn't that what women say because they think a guy thinks its hot to hear?

My response, "well no, not for me... I truly love giving oral. Of course, I don't when the guy is expecting it and not reciprocating the favor. Or he thinks that's it I will suck his cock and he blows his load and moves on..."

I am someone who loves to give and receive, a mutual sexual partnership works best for me.

Thus. I love it when I'm going down on a guy and I hear him let out a moan that he could not fake, feel his leg quiver because he is standing in front of me with my mouth on him, or when I hear the gasp followed with " Oh fuck!" or "Oh shit! That feels sooo good..." I have to admit there have been times when I wasn't sure if I was doing what pleasured him, and it does distract. But for the most part I do enjoy it.

I have been told I am good at it too. IDK if they said that to make me feel good or if was a true statement. If I am good then I think its because I do enjoy it. I can suck,lick, kiss it for a while, I would say hours but hey why lie? I do have to take a break from time to time to prevent my jaw locking. But again I do love cock. And don't do it because it is expected of me.

Again if a guy pushes or expects it too soon I am more prone to not enjoy it and will not play as eagerly.

If you should ever meet me after reading this blog please heed what I wrote...
I will not go down on you because you expect it.
I am a stubborn, strong woman and also very intuitive when it comes to a person's needs...
Oh and make sure your shit is clean, you expect it from a woman, we expect it from you!

Oh and btw, I am the same way for women. But just like a guy, I won't eat it if it smell like fish.

6 Comments

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