Aren't Airgunny
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Posted:Jan 19, 2016 10:05 pm
Last Updated:Jan 20, 2016 3:02 am
10462 Views
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I am temporarily filling the place for Aunt Agony while she goes away for the vacation,
So here goes nothing.
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Letter from 25 year old man.
Dear Aunt Agony, lately I have been feeling like a worm because I have been ignored or looked down by so many girls online. What should I do?
Worm.
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Dear Worm, I understand how you feel when you are being ignored or looked down upon. May I suggest to be more specific when you make your wish to the Genie? Don't just say "I wish to be 10 inches big." You should specify that you wish your penis is 10 inches in size when erect. May I suggest you add the request "HARD" too.
Sincerely,
Aren't Airgunny
___________________________________________
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HNW - Between the Sheets
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Posted:Jan 19, 2016 5:53 pm
Last Updated:Jan 22, 2016 10:03 pm
10989 Views
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Good morning friends.
How are your updates on World News?
Do you want to read in between the lines here?
HNW
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22
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Fast and Furious 8
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Posted:Jan 16, 2016 5:13 pm
Last Updated:Jan 17, 2016 12:26 pm
10893 Views
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Okay, Vin Diesel has come out with the trailer of Fast and Furious 8 and it is set in New York.
That's good. But I wonder if the setting would have been better if it had been in China?
Transformers did it.
And the Chinese fans help bring in US$250 million box office returns alone in China in the first 8 days. And the Chinese love cars. And they have the fastest growing millionaires in the world with lots of super fast cars by the hundreds.
For once, I'd love to see Fast and Furious 8 manage to drive through the traffic in China. Maybe not that fast but I can be pretty sure Vin Diesel would definitely be super Furious.
And 8 being the lucky number in China, perhaps Paul Walker would still be around in the show had all the Fast And Furious were filmed in China.
Not so fast be definitely furious 888
Way do you think?
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Ping Ping Ping
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Posted:Jan 15, 2016 11:19 pm
Last Updated:Jan 23, 2016 7:49 pm
11061 Views
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Earlier this week, I received a call from a lady wanting immediate solution to her kitchen choke. She sounded Russian. I made my way to her.
And she buzzed me in through all the security of her condominium.
I was at her place in no time and that's when I saw her. It was mid morning but I swear to you, my heart almost stopped when I laid my eyes upon her.
I thought she as all older Russians would put on massive amount of weight due to the Vodka. But she was absolutely stunning. Her husband is away 90% of the time, she complained and she has needs. I said, okay.... "What's the problem in the kitchen?
I looked around and there didn't seem to have any emergencies.
She replied, "I am horny and I want a good fuck, multiple fucks"
So to cut the chase, she called me over on the pretense of a kitchen problem. Well, I like the straightforwardness from her. She said her friend asked her to contact me. Needless to say.... the kitchen work was so complicated that it lasted for 2 days and 1 night. 😘😘😍😍.
She was a happily satisfied and contented purring Russian pussy after that.
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3
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Cybersex
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Posted:Jan 15, 2016 10:21 pm
Last Updated:Jan 19, 2016 8:56 pm
10952 Views
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On this site, I am surprised that there are not one, but a few female profiles instant messaging me to have cybersex with them, despite the fact that they live very near me. I said fine, out of curiosity so that I can establish contact with them. So the usual case is that they want either on KIK, which I immediately reject since I am such a cheapskate not to want to pay to join their monthly subscription, and some prefer to go on SKYPE, wanting Webcam Cybersex.
So I am okay with that too as long as they also turn on their webcams. Unfortunately, ALL replies are that their webcams and microphones are spoilt and they only want to see MY webcam. They also don't have a phone number to call to.
Since this is such a one way thingy, I declined.
I think a better cybersex I can offer to these ladies would be having sex with these Cybermen. I betcha the pounding is continuous and satisfying.
What do you think? Is this the better cybersex?
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3
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Squirting a lot
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Posted:Jan 15, 2016 5:44 am
Last Updated:Apr 29, 2024 1:9 pm
10723 Views
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She messaged me. "Help me squirt. I want to squirt so much that I will soak everything around"
I replied, "Sure. As long as you are prepared to relax a lot.
So I was there in a jiffy. She opened the door and let met in. After dinner, she guided me to the back garden. It was a very secluded spot with a swimming pool. She stripped down to her bikini and reclined on the deck chair. "Come to me!" She beckoned with her finger.
I move over to her. I removed my shirt and my trousers. I got down on my knees and opened my toolbag. She will be a fantastic super soaker squirter.
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Naughty List
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Posted:Jan 15, 2016 12:38 am
Last Updated:Jan 15, 2016 3:18 am
11003 Views
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Sometime this year......
Burglar Dies in Chimney During Rescue After Homeowners Light a Fire: Cops
By Inside Edition
A suspected burglar in Fresno County, California has died after getting trapped inside a home's chimney, sheriff's deputies said Saturday.
An unidentified man in his twenties was found lodged inside the chimney of a home in the small town of Huron on Friday after homeowners heard calls for help upon lighting a fire, KSEE reports.
As the house filled with smoke, the homeowners called authorities and worked to put out the fire, according to a Fresno County Sheriff's Office release.
Firefighters arrived within minutes of the call and found the man still conscious inside the chimney, officials said.
Firefighters dismantled the chimney in an attempt to rescue the suspect. However, he was dead before he could be pulled out.
Police believe the suspect climbed into the chimney overnight in an attempt to burglarize the home when he became stuck.
Jake Jensen with the Fresno County Sheriffs Office said he'd never seen a situation like like this, and ditto for the firefighters who responded.
"I've been a deputy for 17 years now and I've never seen anything like this," he told KSEE.
The Coroner’s Office removed the man’s body from the scene and an autopsy was scheduled to determine his identity, a cause and manner of death.
Final autopsy report from Coroner's Office.
Several Causes of death:
1) Smoking. - Surgeon General's warning. Smoking cause cause cancer and asphyxiation.
2) Pit roasted for thanksgiving. - wrong place to have a hot spa treatment to improve health.
And although roasting does reduce the body size through sweating, just like in the Sauna, this tight confined space will not help.
3) Death by claustrophobia. - the act of climbing down a confined chimney apart from the annual 25 Dec can cause death due to fear of being trapped in a big obese suit inside and incredibly tight chimney. Yes... I do know that some men like tight holes but this is a bit stretched. CLAUStrophobia.... A fatal disease named after Santa Claus down the tight chimney.
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Performance appraisal
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Posted:Jan 13, 2016 2:02 am
Last Updated:Jan 14, 2016 6:43 pm
11896 Views
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She WHATSAPP me with a "ping"
She gave me directions and guided me to her place.
She had an leak in the pipes and she wanted them fixed ASAP.
I reached her place.
It was raining heavily. It's the monsoon. The rains come in almost horizontally. My sneakers are soaking wet. Trousers none the better. I can feel water running down my ass crack. Damn. The driving rain is horrendous.
It is night time.
I was totally drenched.
I rang the doorbell.
She opened the door and looked surprised.
I got in and apologized for dripping rain all over her floor.
I asked to use the hot shower to get myself cleaned up and dry.
She offered a pair of shorts and t-shirt. Shorts were damn tight. T-shirt too small.
I apologized and said I'd work topless if she didn't mind.
She watched me check and fix her pipes. She offered a nice hot honey lemon drink. I was thankful.
She was very youthful looking, not more than 35 years old so I was surprised when she told me her age. She was older than me. I guess good nutrition and sports do stay back the signs of aging. She was a divorcee and she hasn't had any fun for over 3 years.
Damn, the shorts became tighter as my tool down there begins to swell.
She stared and giggle.
"I called you because you are highly recommended by my girlfriends". She said.
Thanks to word of mouth, I replied.
"And I am told you are excellent with your mouth too" she grinned.
I smiled as she coaxed me to the bedroom.
She eased her straps and let her dress drop down on the floor. She wasn't wearing any undergarments. Standing naked, she turned around and flopped onto her bed.
She laid on her back and said, "let's see if you are as good as they say about your naughty tongue"
I smile and enter the room, slowly trailing my kisses down her cleavage to her navel. My hands gently spread her thighs and I drop down to lick her pure lustful nectar.
She arched her back as I slowly but continuously licked and suckled her clit, drinking up all her aroma. She begged me to caress her nipples so I stretch my hands up and I started twirling her nipples with my finger while I continue to lick her clit, driving her delirious.
"Don't Stop!" She cried as I continue to focus on my licking and my twirling, not going faster or harder but just at the same speed and lightness.
I could feel her legs tremble uncontrollably as she screamed out loud creaming whitish thick pussy cream on my lips. I continue to lick her and she howled in delight for the next 10 minutes as she experience non stop continuous multiple orgasms upon orgasms.
"STOP!! --- I am way way over exhausted" she exclaimed. "My legs are trembling uncontrollably and my insides still exploding"
I got up and slowly kissed her moist lips and she tasted her delicious pussy cream.
She stroked my hard cock still confined in the tight shorts. Her hands greedily removed my shorts and she got on top of me, mounted my hard cock and begin to ride.
I continue to stroke her tits as she rocked on my hard cock. I watched her tremble, body shaking as she continued to rock on my body until she screamed aloud.
"Stay over tonight, I am not finished with you yet!" She said as she got out some handcuffs to cuff me against her bedpost.
Well, she had a very attentive captive audience for the night, I must say.
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Lord of the Pings
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Posted:Jan 12, 2016 9:34 pm
Last Updated:Jan 13, 2016 8:36 pm
11444 Views
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It is the brand new year and Chinese Lunar New Year is fast approaching. Many are busy doing spring cleaning and wanting to have those leaky pipes fixed or choked pipes unclogged.
I have been receiving so many Pings from my Whatsapp service that I feel like being inundated with a deluge of calls.
So I have to rush from one to another to do a fast job, not something I'd am proud of but then the requests kept coming in. It is more like Wham Bang Thank Mam, a quikie of sorts. This is below my service standards so I am giving a rain cheque on for coffee later when the things slow down. But with this marathon service for the next 30 days, it is going to result in a back ache for all the services done.
But I will soldier on, to press on without complaints and do my duty to satisfy the needs of my ladies desires.
And if I ever needed to return for a maintenance, I have left my calling card on their phones in quick dial mode so I am just away at a touch of a button.
I hope my tools can stand up to the sheer magnitude of the work load at hand and would not fail me in times of need and performance.
So any of you ladies need so plumbing works, don't hesitate, call me for a quote.
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HNW - Winter wonderland
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Posted:Jan 12, 2016 7:21 am
Last Updated:Jan 17, 2016 9:31 am
11639 Views
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It's January, the coldest month over here. Evenings are chilly. Skies are dark blue to pitched black blue.
So just shivering and doing a quick shot for SandraD and my other ladies perving. I hope you like this.
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8
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Plumbing Delight.
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Posted:Jan 8, 2016 10:30 pm
Last Updated:Jan 9, 2016 5:49 am
12177 Views
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Plumbing delight.
It was in the wee hours in the early morning when I received a ping on Saturday morning. It's a brand new number and the request seemed urgent.
"Totally wet. Bathroom tap gushing water. Please come at once.
Address: xxx, xxxxxxxx xxxxxxxx, xxxx xxxx."
I sent my usual quote for plumbing service fee.
Reply: "okay"
And so off I went.
I arrived in 15 minutes time. Okay. Didn't have much time to change into my work clothes, just shorts and t-shirt.
She was at the door waiting for me with a small wet towel barely covering her tits and a millimeter shy off her pussy lips.
And off course, nobody is ever taught how to turn off the water mains. So I just turned off the mains and went about ripping off the old tap and installed a new one and finished in 5 minutes.
Now that's a quickie.
Of course I got wet during the installation. So she asked me if I needed to clean up as she had an extra t-shirt she could give me.
I thanked her and proceeded to use the bathroom to wash up in the hot shower. As I was lathering, I didn't realize she had a key to open the bathroom door and that she was spying on me. I turned around and she lunge forward, pinned me against the shower wall, both naked and wet.
Hands, legs, tongues intertwined in passion as we hungrily consumed our passion for each other.
For a 55yo lady, she is taut, toned, not a single hint of fat on her. That also meant she didn't have big breasts either but then it didn't matter. Her abs and her tight ass as well as her lovely calves made her a beauty. She is size A+, at most B. Hints of beautiful pert breasts. She didn't have any wrinkles, no crows feet.
And she was really in heat. In the shower, she sizzled like a boiling lava crater. Panting, she made love to me with her tongue on my lips. I was already in heaven just by kissing her.
She moaned, lifted her right leg up on the wall and pulled my hard cock into her, demanding that she be properly fucked hard and rough.
I aim to please. And pleasure her I did. (Damn.... I am beginning to sound like Yoda)
She gasped as I increase my intensity in pounding her tight wet slippery pussy. She arched her back and gave a guttural cry. I continue to thrust into her as she flayed her hands in her throes of explosive climax. I pounded her more until she begged me to stop.
I showered the soap off her and lifted her to bed. She begged me to stay over so she can ride me more after a short nap, exhausted from the earlier shower experience.
to be continued....
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Females and bags and shoes. Inseparable.
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Posted:Jan 6, 2016 5:06 pm
Last Updated:Jan 7, 2016 1:39 am
11448 Views
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I have meet many during my "pings" (calls to solve plumbing problems) and am coming to postulate that there is this inseparable bond between women and bags and shoes. There seemed to be this divine connection that binds them together.
Some have strong affinity to certain brands too. Like Prata.
It comes with curry bag too.
I mean carry bag too.
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To link to this blog (FunPleasurable) use [blog FunPleasurable] in your messages.
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