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Who knows what tomorrow will bring?  

helga_hansen 56F
2181 posts
6/18/2006 4:35 am

Last Read:
6/27/2006 12:21 am

Who knows what tomorrow will bring?

There are days when I wake up, and in my mind's eye, I know exactly what I want to do with my future. The future's bright, the future's... oops! Nearly quoted a commercial there!

And then there are other days when I wake up, and thoughts of the future scare me.

Yesterday was one of those days. One of those days when I wonder if staying, and accepting that perhaps I'm not meant to have personal happiness, would be better. But then I start wondering... better for who? Because in my heart of hearts, I know it won't be better for me. And I will always wonder what my life had been like if I had plucked up the courage that so often fails me, and just gone out on that limb.

One of my biggest fears is that I will end up alone. Sad and lonely. Alone with no one. Why am I so afraid? And what is wrong with being alone. Many people are alone, all around the world. And they cope just fine. It's bizarre, really... I don't need to be with someone 24/7, I just need to know that they are there, where I can find them, albeit for a brief moment, before I drift off again.

And I want to change my future, but I don't want to go it totally alone. I'd like someone to be there...

Confused yet? I know... me too.


*** The image is called "Little Girl Lost", and I feel like that sometimes. I wonder if her bear is called Basil?


Love, hugs and kisses from ♥♥HH♥♥


rm_dutchpete 61M
562 posts
6/18/2006 6:26 am

Ever considered a trial on yr own ? Close enough for family matters with Mr. and Master, still offering you opportunities to explore a single person life who can enjoy rest of life what might be on offer.

Then after that make up yr mind.


cassandrabear 56M/42F

6/18/2006 6:41 am

Trust in your own thoughts not of what IF
IF the biggest word in the world and hardest to understand
Life is for living not what IFs and trust me tomorrow will bring more what ifs
You know the answers so dont be afraid of IF.
hope you find all you are looking for enjoy the moments they are few in life SOMEONE WILL ALWAYS PUT UP IF. AND IF YOU CANT CHANGE IT WHY WORRY ABOUT IT WHAT WILL BE WILL BE.

PS YOU ARE ALL THE THINGS THAT PEOPLE SAY,A GOOD FRIEND,SEXY,WITTY,AND ABOVE ALL INTELLIGENT - A LOVING BEAR


rm_LilBlondeNZ 48F
1028 posts
6/18/2006 10:05 am

HH.

Listen to me.

You are awesome.

You will not be alone; you have yourself, your family and your friends.
You only get one chance to live your life.
You know you haven't been happy.
You know there is no fixing what's broke.
You even know what you want to do with your life, which is more than probably 80% of the other people out there know.

That being said...

It's really scary to leave.
I did it twice and it sucked both times.
When I left my husband, I cried myself to sleep for weeks thinking I did the wrong thing, that I threw away a sure thing for a chance to be lonely.
The second time was almost just as bad... I was hanging onto mediocrity, but wasnt sure it was worse than being alone.

You'll make it your own.
And when you do, you'll be ready for the next love in your life.

Till then you just have to believe.
And when you do, then everything will happen.

I know it.

A


racingcrazy67 57M

6/18/2006 12:21 pm

Never easy what you are going through Helga.

It can be scary just the thought of any change let alone a big one like this. Knowing you for who you are, there is no way you will end up alone.

Hang in there.


HBowt2 66F

6/19/2006 2:26 pm

i'm exactly where you are right now...mr hbowt and i have decided to separate after 27 years and i'm so scared....scared of all the things you talk about and scared of staying....


rm_EE407 48F
3903 posts
6/21/2006 12:31 am

Maybe this will sound flip, but it is the truth... Look at what you don't like at your life and get rid of them... one step at the time.

If you need a shoulder or ear, I'm here for you

Hugs E.


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