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| Blogs > rm_longliner002 > longliner002 My Blog |
Joke Of The Day feb 11-007
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Joke Of The Day feb 11-007 Joke Of The Day A man and his wife go to their honeymoon place for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband: "When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?" The husband replied: "All I wanted to do was to fuck your brains out, and suck your tits dry." Then, as the wife undressed, she asked: "What are you thinking now?" He replied: "It looks like I did a pretty good job." Law Of Gravity A blind man went to the airport to fly in a small plane and the pilot asked him,” if you're blind, why do you want to fly?" And the blind man said, he just wanted to have the experience. So off through the skies they went! The pilot had a heart attack and passed out and the blind man felt around and found the mike and keyed up and said, "Help, help, I'm a blind man flying upside down in a small plane and the pilot has passed out!" A voice came over the speaker that said, "if you are a blind man, how do you know you're upside down?" The man said, "because shit is running out of my collar!!!!" Valentines day is coming up. To play the game you need to know the lingo. … women say to men (and what they mean) 10. I think of you as a brother. (You remind me of that inbred banjo-playing geek in “Deliverance.”) 9. There’s a slight difference in our ages. (You are one Jurassic geezer.) 8. I’m not attracted to you in ‘that’ way. (You are the ugliest dork I’ve ever laid eyes upon.) 7. My life is too complicated right now. (I don’t want you spending the whole night or else you may hear phone calls from all the other guys I’m seeing.) 6. I’ve got a boyfriend (who’s really my male cat and a half gallon of Ben and Jerry’s). 5. I don’t date men where I work. (Hey, bud, I wouldn’t even date you if you were in the same ’solar system’, much less the same building.) 4. It’s not you, it’s me. (It’s not me, it’s you.) 3. I’m concentrating on my career. (Even something as boring and unfulfilling as my job is better than dating you.) 2. I’m celibate. (I’ve sworn off only the men like you.) 1. Let’s be friends. (I want you to stay around so I can tell you in excruciating detail about all the other men I meet and have sex with. It’s that male perspective thing) … men say to women (and what they mean) 10. I think of you as a sister. (You’re ugly.) 9. There’s a slight difference in our ages. (You’re ugly.) 8. I’m not attracted to you in ‘that’ way. (You’re ugly.) 7. My life is too complicated right now. (You’re ugly.) 6. I’ve got a girlfriend. (You’re ugly.) 5. I don’t date women where I work. (You’re ugly.) 4. It’s not you, it’s me. (You’re ugly.) 3. I’m concentrating on my career. (You’re ugly.) 2. I’m celibate. (You’re ugly.) 1. Let’s be friends. (You’re the ugliest person that has ever existed on this planet.) This is one of my aaaaaaaaall time favs We learn about VD in: “IT BURNS WHEN I PEE, CHARLIE BROWN” Charlie and the little red-headed girl learn about unwanted pregnancy in: “I’M STARTING TO SHOW, CHARLIE BROWN!” Is Linus gay? “ITS A DIFFERENT KIND OF LOVE, CHARLIE BROWN” Charlie moves back to his house in East LA in: “OYE! VATO! QUE PASA, CARLITO MORENO?” See how the Peanuts Gang deals with sexual pressures in: “NO MEANS NO, CHARLIE BROWN!” Discover a father’s forbidden love in: “IT’S OUR LITTLE SECRET, CHARLIE BROWN” Franklin speaks! The Peanuts gang gets a lesson in Ebonics in: “IMO BUSTA CAP INYO ASS, CHARLIE BROWN” What goes on in the mind of a serial killer? Discover the inner workings of Pig Pen’s twisted psyche and meet his murderous alter ego “Mr. Clean” in: “GOD TOLD ME TO DO IT, CHARLIE BROWN” Schroder teaches the Peanuts gang about getting high in: “ROLL US A FAT ONE, CHARLIE BROWN!” Charlie Brown gets his first job in: “WOULD YOU LIKE FRIES WITH THAT, CHARLIE BROWN?” Charlie Brown peddles his body for crack money while stealing social security checks and stripping cars in: “BLAME IT ON THE MAN, CHARLIE BROWN” Peppermint Patty ‘goes to town’ on Marcie in: “YOU MOW THE GRASS AND SO DO WE, CHARLIE BROWN?” Charlie gets an AOL account and stays up all night long in: “WELCOME!… YOU HAVE MAIL, CHARLIE BROWN” The peanuts gang learns about death in: “WHY ISN’T SNOPPY MOVING, CHARLIE BROWN?” Charlie Brown learns the pain of a sex change in: “YOU LOOK DIFFERENT, CHARLIE BROWN” Charlie Brown learns about cyber sex in: “WHAT ARE YOU WEARING, CHARLIE BROWN?” Snoopy goes to town on Charlies leg in: “YOUR REALLY LOVES YOU, CHARLIE BROWN” Charlie Brown joins a fanatically religious cult: “IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE, CHARLIE BROWN” The Peanuts gang learns about self-stimulation in: “WHY ARE MY PALMS SO HAIRY, CHARLIE BROWN?” Charlie Brown learn about from Lucy in: “FIFTY DOLLARS TO MAKE YOU HOLLER, CHARLIE BROWN?” Charlie Brown learns about STD’s in: “THAT WASN’T THERE BEFORE, CHARLIE BROWN.” Charlie Brown learns about tax fraud in: “HERE COMES THE IRS, CHARLIE BROWN.” Which leads to the sequel where Charlie Brown learns about prison in: “DON’T DROP YOUR SOAP, CHARLIE BROWN.” Charlie Brown learns about suicide in: “BYE-BYE, CHARLIE BROWN.” Charlie Brown learns about pornography in: “LOOK AT THOSE TITS!, CHARLIE BROWN?” |
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2/14/2007 3:01 pm |
those charlie browns sound familiar! lol
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Thank you for the comment. stop by again
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