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Blogs > BirdyCrystal > Birdy Chirps

Sex without permission  

BirdyCrystal 57F
Ask me for a photo
143 posts
8/19/2016 10:29 am
Sex without permission

I know this is a topic that is overly debated.. We all KNOW what it is.. right???

Unfortunately not.. So here is what I found that seems to explain it very well..

This Woman Has The Perfect Way To Explain Consent To Men Who Don't Understand It

LIKE US ON FACEBOOK


BY MARK PYGAS
AUGUST 17, 2016 1:12 PM

nafisa ahmed @thatxxv
If you ask me for $5, and I'm too drunk to say yes or no, it's not okay to then go take $5 out of my purse... Just because I didn't say no.

If you put a gun to my head to get me to give you $5, you still stole $5. Even if I physically handed you $5.

If I let YOU borrow $5, that doesn't give the right for your FRIEND to take $5 out of my purse.
"But you gave him some, why can't I?"

If you steal $5 and I can't prove it in court, that does NOT mean you didn't steal $5.

Just because I gave you $5 in the past, doesn't mean I have to give you $5 in the future.

If you can understand alllllll of that, how do you not understand the concept of sex without permission.

And to think a man said "Well she sat on his lap & went to his house." Okay, if I ask you to hold my purse, does that mean you can take $?

If I decided I'd give you $5 but changed my mind and you took it anyway you stole the $5

I don't get how it is so hard to understand for some men. But, if you put it like this, they get it:

Thankyou, nafisa ahmed

Please know that I am one of the many many women that this has happened to..I have knowledge of what it's like . I survived.
I don't wish it on any other person, male or female.



nerdygirl721 34F  
1176 posts
8/19/2016 1:07 pm

 Sometimes even if they understand that it is wrong, they will stiĺl do it. To violate another person like that is not something that happens accidently, it's intentional. I'm a survivor. I feel that every woman should learn how to defend herself and how to fire a gun. As woman, we have to protect ourselves and encourage others to protect themselves. Great post.


iwalkstilts 49M
2869 posts
8/19/2016 2:14 pm

 I agree with nerdygirl721.
Ladies please learn how to shoot those guys.
It's self defense.
If you can't afford a gun buy a good knife. Knives are just as good.


mindworker1970 53M
328 posts
8/19/2016 2:19 pm

 It should not happen. If someone does this multiple times they should be executed for being unfit to live. I have friends that have lived through this and it changed them forever. And as much as I tried there is nothing I can do to help. One of them killed herself. Therapy can only do so much. Share the post. Stop the silence. Change the attitude that permits this kind of stuff to happen.


northshoretake2 50M  
1626 posts
8/19/2016 2:32 pm

 Some other blogger shared a related essay last week from huffpo.

An Essay On Consent, From A Woman Who Hosts Huge Sex Parties

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/consent-explained_us_57acdedce4b0e7935e04755a

If the link doesn't work, simply search Huffpo Consent Explained.

This particular work underscores two issues touched upon in the OP:

- The ability to revoke consent is just as important as the actual response, i.e. if someone's judgment is impaired by alcohol or other substances, they are unable to provide consent

- Consent can be revoked at any time.
Happiness is not having what you want, but wanting what you have.


northshoretake2 50M  
1626 posts
8/19/2016 8:44 pm
    Quoting  :
TY
Happiness is not having what you want, but wanting what you have.


Heathen_G 65M
7974 posts
9/2/2016 2:25 am

 Living in these times, we not only have to be conscious and careful of R-culture, but also sexual entrapment-culture.

Smart thing to do these days, since we all have videophones, is record consent from her. Video graph her answering a series of question.
-Do you understand you're coming on to me and your intention is to have sex?
-Do you know what day it is today?
-Who is the current President and Vice President?
-Can you touch your nose, left ear, wink with your right eye, stand on one foot?
-Will you sign this [show her a paper that says she is agreeing to engage sexually with you].
Or anything else you want documented to cover your sass from false accusations later.

This isn't perfect, because she can still change her mind, half way through, and say "No", then you stop, record you placing her outside and closing the door, [continue recording for awhile. Or if you're at her place , get your stuff and leave, but continue to record the exiting, her appearance, and you leaving, and if necessary, your transportation to your home. At least now she can't make up a phony R charge on you, or at least you've made it more difficult.

And by the way, women can do this to men too. Very easy for women to seduce a man, he may say, "No I don't want to give you $5 dollars", but she may say, "Oh come on you know you want to give me $5 dollars", as she's kissing him and massaging his boner. This too is taking $5 dollars without rational consent.

Fucked up world we live in today.


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