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Blogs > matt-battler > Captain Caveman finally speaks

Are all the good ones taken?  

matt-battler 50M
278 posts
12/20/2016 4:34 am
Are all the good ones taken?
When you're single there's two well-worn phrases you really don't want to hear, these are:

1) You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your princess/princess

2) All the good ones are taken

You don't want to hear these because 1) makes it sound like finding a mate is really hard work and it's a distant prospect and 2) makes it sound like you've missed the boat and you're somehow lacking because you're single still. The grass is always greener, you always want what you can't have - you know some amazing people who are happily attached but you can't do a thing about it because they're not available. That psychology fuels the perception of 2) rather than there being any truth in it, surely?

Online there are essentially two types of 'taken' women. There are women who are attached and are looking to cheat behind their partner's back, and there are women who are in open relationships or would class themselves as swingers who can fuck other men with their partner's full knowledge and approval. For many years I stumbled across the former and had no concept of the latter.

Taken women who cheat are generally arseholes, they have no scruples or consideration for the guy they're cheating on, what's more they get on a high and are very patronising towards single guys. They fundamentally don't care about anything other than themselves, they shit on their partners from a great height and they don't feel bad about shitting on the people they're cheating with too. Thankfully their mindset is so brazen that you can spot cheaters a mile off so they're easy to avoid. I've never knowingly slept with someone who's attached and cheating. I feel thankful about this because I've had several female friends on here who have been conned by attached guys, only to discover they're married/attached/engaged several months in - the worst case involved a guy who was getting married in a few weeks time, understandably my friend who got caught up in this was very distraught and became paranoid afterwards - ditching guys as soon as they'd said or done anything dishonest, no matter how trivial.

Recently I've been talking to more married women online (the ones who are explicitly part of couples and are in open relationships). This isn't a dramatic change in strategy on my part to become part of any swing scene or try my luck at threesomes. As with most interactions online it's not resulting in much face to face contact but it's the first time that I've been able to compare the attitudes of single women with attached. This has led me to contemplate the 'Good ones are taken' concept as I have a growing rapport with several married women who just seem easy to get along with. It seems to me that women in successful long term relationships are pretty content and at peace with the world - perhaps things aren't perfect and their partner isn't perfect but things are going generally okay and no past relationship problem is eating them up inside. Due to this contentment, married women aren't inclined to go on a massive faultfinding (rather than friendfinding) exercise, don't amplify insignificant problems, or invent ones that don't exist. This is a breath of fresh air . . . . as . . .



Lisa Ann - single but a ray of sunshine - if only more women were like her

By contrast, many single women are not happy, they have as much baggage as a Heathrow Airport carousel. They're still smarting, fuming, bitter, angry at what happened to them in their last relationship - they haven't got it out of their system yet and it will be a long time until they do. Maybe this is because women who are keen on going online don't talk about their personal problems to their real friends and family enough? I understand if you're single it means your last relationship ended in failure - guess what, so did mine! We're all in the same boat! However random stranger single guys online are not the cause of, or responsible for these womens' unhappiness.

As we enter the Season of Goodwill I continue with my search, I'm looking for a woman who despite being single, is at peace with the world. Wish me luck

matt-battler 50M
199 posts
1/8/2017 2:53 am

 Hey there Ginger - Happy New Year to you!

Thanks for your good wishes - I hope things are great with you - what the world needs is for the married women who have their shit together to give pep talks to their single sisters so they become 'no drama' people again


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