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| Blogs > matt-battler > Captain Caveman finally speaks |
When fuck ups go dating
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When fuck ups go dating Ahhhhhh don't you just love Spring? The days get longer, the sun is higher in the sky, pleasant smells fill the country air as flowers start to bloom. It's around this time of year when the tramps in my home town switch from drinking Special Brew to K Cider - Cider of course is a summer drink and could be construed as part of a general cosmetic trend to get beach ready as the apple content means it's one of your five-a-day. Special Brew and K aren't on my shopping list - I admire those that can drink Special Brew - most medicines taste nicer, but it's part of a heroic attempt to bridge the gap between normal beer and wine. Super strength brands are not something you see very often and I was reminded about the continuing existence of K by the recent Louis Theroux documentary about extreme alcoholics.  The famous drunk family from The Fast Show - unbroken harmony forged by common interests Louis' latest disturbing offering followed a number of people checked into an NHS rehab ward in a London hospital, one was a French woman whose upbringing involved drifting in and out of 's homes. At one point he invites Louis to come down the park with him to meet her new boyfriend. A new boyfriend is a major shock - she is far from straightened out physically or mentally - still drinking, still not really functioning as a responsible adult. How did she form a new relationship? Then it all makes sense - her new boyfriend is a fellow traveller - another alcoholic, though one that hasn't had to go to rehab, which he makes a meal of, though his drinking means he's divorced and doesn't see his any more. When it comes to serious long term relationships, birds of a feather really do stick together - this is why romantic novels/plays that touch on 'forbidden love' where very different people get together against odds are so popular - it happens so rarely. So it goes that those on the margins of society - tramps, druggies, long term jobless - manage to get together with others at a similar station in life, this seems a bit weird if you're mainstream - these people don't have much to offer, but it makes sense to them. In a 'no strings' environment - you'd expect more forbidden love scenarios where people get together who have little in common, including guilty pleasures, and yes including rubbing shoulders with fuck ups. This has happened to me occasionally, mainly due to the law of averages. It doesn't work for me - on reflection I've chased a few women that I really shouldn't have, even though it's dealing with people in small doses I still get rubbed up the wrong way. I guess there's something reassuring about the fact that fuck ups can still get dates - a confirmation of the whole 'There's someone out there for everybody' ethos. So tonight I will be drinking a weak summer fruits cordial and saluting my K friends. |
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I used to really enjoy watching Louis Theroux, but all good things must come to an end and alas, I've grown tired of him. Or maybe it's me  I don't know. I did see a snippet of that episode you're talking about, though, via, of all programmes, Gogglebox. Yay, who doesn't love Gogglebox  I deal with junkies, alcoholics, lazy bastards who've never worked a day in their lives and never intend to and somehow get away with it, while the government vilifies the disabled who genuinely can't work, and I can't honestly say that I'm surprised any longer by the fact these losers have managed to meet up, get together, and worse, breed. They're usually codependent relationships, though, so I would stick to the summer fruit cordial if I were you, Matt. We haven't reached the codependency state quite yet  [image] "I'm always disappointed when a liar's pants don't actually catch on fire..."
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Hey there Holly - it can't be easy working with these people and, boy, this particular documentary was not an easy watch - to see a 25-year-old guy struggle to walk from one end of his bed to the other because his legs have gone thanks to months of drinking several bottles of vodka a day - well it doesn't give me a massive warm feeling inside like Countryfile or Antiques Roadshow I guess I write about heavy drinking and alcoholism rather flippantly because it really will never happen to me - I don't have a dependent/addictive personality. I can go without drinking for weeks and not miss it. I don't like that yeast smell on my skin after getting tanked up, I don't like the washed out feeling the next day - I'd rather get up and do stuff, life's too short to always be recovering from the night before. My mum recently told me that my great-Grandparents were part of the temperance movement in the Victorian era - I know it's pointless lecturing people so I wouldn't bother with a modern day equivalent but I suppose I've inherited the sober gene. I'd rather be a little drunk and a lot horny, than the other way round 
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