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View from an English Summer  

matt-battler 50M
278 posts
8/17/2015 11:36 am
View from an English Summer

Scottish and American readers might as well skip this blog because what follows will be as intelligible to you as ancient Aramaic, I'm going to write about my summer passion - Cricket. To those not in the know, this is a bat and ball game that country English gentlemen attempt to play at the weekend if it doesn't rain all day.

If you're an England cricket fan (which I am) you're feeling rather smug with life as England have just beaten their fiercest rival, Australia, in a series no one gave them a chance of winning. The origins of the game are very rural, shepherds used to play the game in forest clearings with tree stumps forming the original target for the bowler. Being a country boy this is something that sits very well with me, and a lot of cricket is played out in small villages you'd happily take a holiday in.

Two things make cricket very distinctive as a team sport - it's very long, it can take up to 6 hours to play a game, and food plays a vital part in it. The length of the game is a great virtue if you're part of a team where people get along - when a group of people really gel you basically spend all day taking the piss out of each other and the actual playing element of game is rather incidental.

There are lots of moments where there's not much going on in the field, so you make your own entertainment, this even applies at international level. One of England's new heroes is Mark Wood, a fast bowler from the North East. He livens up quiet passages of play by riding an imaginary pet around the field, much like the knights in Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Wood has talked about his at length in interviews, revealing its favourite food is Granny Smiths.



King Arthur and his knights - an inspiration to cricketers everywhere

Cricket is the only sport that includes two meal related breaks in one day - lunch and tea. The quality of the tea is important enough to determine which fixtures you'd choose to play in. For many years my team would play a midweek game against Dartford Postal, the afternoon start suited posties perfectly but many of us would have to take a half-day - despite this sign up was always healthy as their tea was a major draw - classic working class fayre - white bread with margarine, sausage and chips - none of your sandwiches and fruit nonsense.

In all the years I've been on here I've seen dozens of women asking for footballers or rugby players - I guess this reflects their cultural tastes and whether they like muscle men or nice legs. Never have I seen a woman say they're looking for a cricketer. A lot of cricketers have a nice tan, a few brain cells to rub together, and are unlikely to get involved in full scale on pitch brawls (I've seen these at both football and rugby games) - maybe start asking for them (if you're not in the countries mentioned at the top of the blog) and you'll be pleasantly surprised by who writes back . . . . ?



I didn't just dream it - this is what will greet you after a hard afternoon of idling in the field in my home town

Horny_Holly 43F
2767 posts
8/19/2015 4:33 pm

O M and G. I hate cricket

But then you already knew that

Hence this...

[image]

Our local cricket club is opposite the local hospital. I can only assume this was deliberate on the part of the council. You know, not far to take the spectators once they fall into a coma

Just kidding, Matt. So to make up for my cheek I offer you this next image which I have to post separately due to the site sucking so badly


"I'm always disappointed when a liar's pants don't actually catch on fire..."


Horny_Holly 43F
2767 posts
8/19/2015 4:33 pm

[image]

"I'm always disappointed when a liar's pants don't actually catch on fire..."


matt-battler 50M
199 posts
8/20/2015 12:04 am

TBH I'd be disappointed if you didn't hate Cricket, as this is part of what makes you Scottish, just as much as your love of lake monsters and foul weather

I know the game is very much an acquired taste and it moves at a pace that is much slower than the crash, bang, wallop frenzy of football and rugby. As someone that loves most sports (with the exception of F1, dressage and synchronised swimming) I suppose I try to see the good in all of them.

I do believe 2nd pic you posted is of Lara Bingle, the swimsuit model wife of soon-to-be-ex captain of Australia Michael Clarke. I wonder how much they had to pay her to put those pads on? Anyway happy memories of Australian failure - thanks for sharing!

I hope you had a great holiday and that none of your days were ruined by the sight of families playing beach cricket


Horny_Holly 43F
2767 posts
8/21/2015 6:00 am

Hahaha, I didn't want to disappoint you, Matt

Loch monsters, not lake Although loch does mean lake, but still

The only sport I watch is tennis, which I know many find boring, and I'm fine with that. To me sport, much like music, is very subjective. With regards to both I'm of the opinion "to each their own". I'll happily make fun in a mocking way, but I'm not a fan of people who seriously make fun of what another person enjoys. See? I'm not as mean as some people think

No cricket in New York, just baseball, which, as we both know is the American version of cricket and twice as boring

Have a wonderful weekend my cricket loving friend



"I'm always disappointed when a liar's pants don't actually catch on fire..."


matt-battler 50M
199 posts
8/21/2015 9:49 am

I used to love playing tennis when I was a teenager, in fact I was probably a lot better at it than I ever was at cricket. Get me on a court, playing pool or producing a manicured lawn then you're in trouble 'cause I am seriously good at all three

I think what you're into, or not into has a lot to do with class and culture in the UK. The brickies, roofers and scaffolders that drink in my local pub are only into football, if they have a 2nd sport at all it's boxing and they are very dismissive of everything else - rugby, swimming, athletics you name it. Maybe they only have the brain capacity to understand just the one sport???

As you know Holly I'm a pretty broad-minded and adventurous guy so I'll watch stuff about rock-climbing, surfing or Irish road bowling and I'll try my hand at anything because I've got a high embarrassment threshold (maybe I shouldn't have said that out loud).


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