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| Blogs > matt-battler > Captain Caveman finally speaks |
How I got my name
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How I got my name They often say that your school days are the best years of your life, though it is maddening to hear this when you are actually at school as you really don't want to think it's all downhill from here. As much as you wouldn't want to admit it, these can be formative years and shape the person you become as an adult. My school years have left a relevant legacy when it comes to my online presence - my screen name, which is a nickname I had at school. Last year I had a conversation with someone who tried to explain to me why height was such an important criterion for women - this is a major disconnect between men and women - she told me it really mattered as a lot of women wanted to feel protected by a big man. If this is really true, this is a rather foolish approach, however, as the correlation between body size and physical courage/aggression is pretty poor. I went to an all-boys secondary school where you were micro-analysed according to your physical form. In the 4th year during a biology class, all the boys measured the length of their femur - this is the bone in the upper half of your leg - the ratio between the femur and overall height is a constant in all humans except dwarves. One boy, Stephen Gransden, had a different ratio compared to everyone else - he was called Freakshow from that moment until he left school. In such a ruthless and acerbic environment if you represent any physical extreme you get picked on - if you're really short, really tall, really fat, have big ears, big nose, slow to grow pubes etc you'll be given a hard time. When this happens the choice is pretty binary - you either fight back and get respect or you crumble and get subjected to merciless abuse. When I joined secondary school I was one of the shortest in my year group, though I was sporty, well co-ordinated and I didn't shirk physical challenges. The that were average in every respect - academically and physically - got bullied the least and looking back I feel sorry for them because they had nothing to spur them on. If you are bullied you either have a rotten time or, in my case, adds fuel to the fire. Being one of the shortest meant I had a lot to prove to others and to myself. So I tried harder - not difficult as my legs were powered by Duracell. If you had the football I'd chase you all over the park for it long after everyone else had given up. I always wanted to make the pitch bigger - push the jumpers for goalposts back - if that made YOU tired at the end, touch luck buddy - I'll be fine! As a small boy hungry for sporting combat I stood out and was given the nickname Mattbattler. Something I was mightily relieved about as it was one of the only non-insulting nicknames anyone ever got.  The dynamic at my school was that as got older bullying decreased as they actually grew up and became more accepting of others, especially those that were very different from themselves. I had a growth spurt during my mid-teens that brought me much closer to the average physically, but by this point being competitive was hardwired in my brain so I didn't stop trying. Once a battler, always a battler. So why did I choose to use my school nickname here? I guess I liked the sound of it and at the time I first started using it the -er or -ster suffix was very common online - friendster, groakster etc. There are parallels with my school days - this is nearly an all-male environment (thankyou gender ratio!!!) and is very competitive even if most people act like grown ups. Also I thought it was important to use a name that had been given to me by others - I earnt it. It always grates with me slightly that so many people use words like 'sexy' 'sassy' 'hot' - surely that's for others to judge, rather than you claim for yourself . . . Anyway I'm most awfully sorry to all those BDSMers who thought my name had masochistic/sadistic connotations, you were probably as disappointed as when you got misled and queued up for '12 Years as a Slave'.  Martin O'Neill - childhood hero of mine in the 80s - I approve of EVERYTHING in this image including the spiked fence and tobacco advertising |
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Hello there Ginger, The choice of Martin O'Neill is very deliberate - he's one of the only pro footballers to get a degree in law. His manager, Brian Clough, also a massive hero of mine said that O'Neill was the only player who ever intimidated him because he used to many long words. If I was ever good enough to be pro like O'Neill I'd have adopted the same persona. Jerry Seinfeld once did a skit about a survey that revealed public speaking was the activity that Americans feared the most - observing that people delivering a eulogy at a funeral would rather be in the coffin than delivering a tribute to the departed. I'm sure you've discovered that when you're talking in front of a big audience that people actually want you to do well, rather than shoot you down so it's not quite the public shaming it's made out to be. I guess it helps porn stars that earning money is close to their heart and they're really passionate about what they do - helps them get over the nerves of performing in front of the camera 
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