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| Blogs > matt-battler > Captain Caveman finally speaks |
Those life-changing internet points you can score
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Those life-changing internet points you can score A couple of years ago I went on a 2nd date with a woman from here. I'm pretty much going to rip her apart so I won't use her real name, she was called 'Jane'. The date consisted of a meal at Japanese restaurant and a stroll along the South Bank of the Thames, near the London Eye and below the National Theatre complex. Jane hadn't been on the site for long and to begin with she was full of goodwill and enthusiasm (it never lasts). Our 2nd date took place two months after our 1st one, this was enough time for her to develop some bad habits already. We started talking about A F F and various other adult websites. She asked me about parts of the website I can't touch or I'm indifferent to: Jane: So do you watch the video clips Matt, some of them are really funny Matt: I used to when I was a paying member but I can't watch them now I'm not anymore Jane: Oh so you've not seen any of my clips then? Matt: No I haven't, I'm not bothered (I ponder why this is important when what counts to me is real life experiences) Jane: Really, you've not seen them at all, oh dear Matt: No, I'm not bothered I'm not usually that blunt and bereft of charm on a date, but I smelt a rat when Jane started talking about her own clips. When you're a you can join the cubs or the brownies and you can get a tangible reward for everything you're competent at - you can even get a badge for patting a kitten on the head - the 'Friend to animals' badge. If you do well in school for a few lessons you get a gold star. As we get older we dispense with badges because they're rather juvenile and you're made to work longer and harder for any reward.  Wearing a badge like this makes sense when you're seven, but so does believing in Father Christmas . . . Now certain people lead a significant part of their life online, despite the fact they are adults they are looking for some form of status gratification not unlike an eight year old . I really couldn't understand why it mattered to Jane why I'd seen her clips or not - there was nothing I hadn't seen in them when she'd cammed for me. Then the penny dropped when I saw her video clips eventually pop up in the activities section of the home page here. Camming is private and it leaves no trace publicly. Jane had got caught up in the numbers game, I once complimented her on a new profile pic, she responded by saying 'Oh do you like it then, I guess that's why I've had more than 800 views today'. One of her video clips has gained 677,000 views, a massive ego boost for her I'm sure. Jane blogs occasionally too, I checked them out, in one blog she said she'd been sunbathing nude in her garden and it made her really horny. Directly after this she went on to say that she hadn't slept with anyone from the website (despite being a member for about 18 months). Nobody can put a gun to your head and tell you that you must be sexually active here but what is the point in drawing attention to yourself in such a way and acting like a nun? There is no point in having several thousand people tell you how sexy you are if your sex life is over. It sort of reminds me of Liberace performing to a hall full of housewives who were seduced by his gaudy charm, totally unaware of the fact he was gay (a rather unsettling and cringeworthy memory). Every now and then I talk to people on here and discuss the 'chat only' merchants, my argument focusses on the futility - what can be better than meeting someone face to face and having hours of mindblowing sex with them? Getting recognition online doesn't really compare to several orgasms in my book. I guess the non-meeters see it differently. Lots of people on here say they're not into one-night stands because they don't want to be a notch on a bedpost. They don't want to be a pawn in someone else's game. Similarly I don't want to be part of your quest for internet points - a silly and irritating exercise which ultimately will leave no trace in your life when you up sticks and leave here. |
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Here's me clicking on the link (it was black so didn't know what it was) hoping to see Jane's fabulous video and it's a lame-ass badge for being a friend to animals  Jane's deluded if she thinks those views are anywhere near the real amount  I always laugh when I see how many people have supposedly viewed my pictures. Please  I don't buy a lot of the blog viewer numbers, either. Especially on the so-called top-bloggers thingy. I doubt the site has that many members, let alone people reading blogs. Course, I guess it helps if you're posting your naked bits and bobs on a daily basis While many people use the site for different reasons, a lot of time actually meeting people isn't one of them - yes, odd, I agree - there are people who just enjoy the attention. The obvious ones are young women who don't care than the old men in their 70s are telling her what they''d love to do with her. Excuse me while I throw up... Finally, if you're going to use my name, Matt, at least give me something a little more interesting than "Jane" "I'm always disappointed when a liar's pants don't actually catch on fire..."
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This weekend has included Valentine's Day and seen the UK opening of the 50 Shades film so I thought it would be a good idea if I posted an image of a Brownie badge that included a Dolphin and a Bunnyrabbit. No one can accuse me of being topical or pandering to trends in popular culture  As the metrics on the website - profile views, blog views, video clip views etc aren't independently audited or verified I guess you're right in saying that the numbers are 'debatable'. I guess this only matters if you somehow do get hung up in the numbers game but really what difference does it make if 500 guys or a 1000 guys have mailed you or commented on a pic of your arse? Once again I have disappointed my followers by not posting a sexually explicit image here - at least I'm consistent in letting smut fiends down all the time  - this might change in the future, however . . .
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Once again I have disappointed my followers by not posting a sexually explicit image here - at least I'm consistent in letting smut fiends down all the time - this might change in the future, however . . . I want fair warning when that happens  I don't want to see anything that might make me choke on my peanut M&Ms or worse, my newly found love - Peppa Pig fairy cakes [image] "I'm always disappointed when a liar's pants don't actually catch on fire..."
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Is it wrong of me to think 'Peppa Pig - mmmmmmm bacon  ' ?Aren't fairy cakes really soft therefore difficult to choke on? I guess I have the capacity to shock and appall more than I thought  I guess I'll have to put up some sort of Parental Advisory disclaimer if/when I post something racy, and perhaps pretend I've had a bump on the head and I'm not my normal self, just like Basil Fawlty in The Germans episode of Fawlty Towers. 
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