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| Blogs > matt-battler > Captain Caveman finally speaks |
Top 10 most hated dating cliches
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Top 10 most hated dating cliches Recently the BBC website ran an a poll to find out the top 10 most hated online dating cliches. It includes many phrases that turn up on Passion profiles time after time. I've adapted the BBC commentary ever so slightly: 'Looking to make friends' This is the last thing a man wants, usually women want to line you up as a 'friend' when they have no intention of meeting you and dump all their problems onto you that they're not prepared to discuss with a real life friend. 'Hello, is it me you're looking for?' I've actually never seen this one but I do prefer Dancing on the Ceiling. 'Looking for my Knight in Shining Armour' Look in most 21st century batchelor's spare rooms and there will be various bits of sporting equipment and obsolete electronics. They're unlikely to have stab-proof vest, riot shield, 3,000 watt maglight, taser and steel toe capped boots, sorry to disappoint! 'No baggage, please' What a wonderful idea! However if you're over 18 you probably have some relationship experience or are smarting from the lack of it, it's called being human. Thankfully I travel light but this doesn't make me a better person. 'I don't bite, unless you ask me to' This is a genuine pet hate of mine. If someone's so intimidated by a generic profile they need nursemaiding to pluck up the courage to write an email they also need counselling. By the way in a literal sense don't bite my nipples, it really isn't a turn on. 'If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best' This was criticised on the basis that it's a paraphrase of a quote from Marilyn Monroe. You're also saying that you want to be indulged as a spoilt brat all the time . . . I think I can do better. 'I don't take life too seriously' Good to have a sense of humour but this is often code for I'm a major flake that doesn't really give a shit about anything and is 99% likely to cancel any date arranged. I don't take life seriously and I don't care about you either . . . 'I work hard, I play hard' It's the I work hard bit that I don't like here - who's going to own up to being lazy at work and not deserving their job? I'm not paid to work a long day, I'm paid to have good ideas. Plus if you 'work hard' you don't prioritise socialising much and are tired/stressed Monday to Friday anyway. 'My are everything to me' A noble sentiment that's kinda hard to take issue with, except their your , not our's and I'm highly unlikely to meet them in person unless our relationship takes an improbable turn. I'm probably not going to be that fascinated in them or your ex-partner for that matter. 'I'm bubbly' For some reason this always conjures up an image of someone really fat. Fat people are often jolly, according to Seinfeld. Bubbly also hints at people laughing hard at something that simply isn't funny. Yes have a laugh, be energetic and enthusiastic but not in a contrived way. I'm feeling rather pleased with myself because I managed to avoid all of these in my profile, probably more by luck than by judgement though . . . |
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For me "bubbly" is more than just fat. Bubbly is the fat lass who goes out with her mates to a nightclub in high spirits, drinks too much and ends up as a blubbering, snivelling wreck. On the other hand, extensive research on this site has shown that fat chicks are more likely to indulge in anal sex. Swings and roundabouts... Or maybe that should be slides 
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Hmm, I've been called "bubbly" quite a few times  I guess there are exceptions to that rule, then  As for the extensive research...was that undertaken by you, FullOn? Haha. I actually don't want to know! "I'm always disappointed when a liar's pants don't actually catch on fire..."
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That's it Holly - you break through the bubbly slim glass ceiling! To be honest if someone asked me to name a bubbly Scotswoman it would be the fem half of the Krankies . . . There should be new blog up soon, the site has taken all day to approve it though.
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Haha, her and her husband were quite the swingers in their time "I'm always disappointed when a liar's pants don't actually catch on fire..."
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Lol I saw that interview too - think new entrants to swing clubs went down by about 80% afterwards when the horrible reality of who really goes sunk in. She's a lovely woman but I'd say Janette Krankie has a 'selective' appeal visually. 
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