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Blogs > Smokeblower > Blowing Smoke

Letting go of the need to cum  

Smokeblower 67M
140 posts
7/29/2014 2:36 am
Letting go of the need to cum

My friend and fellow blogger demonicsexkitten just wrote a great but somewhat inaptly named post Ramblings And a few quotes. It's more than just ramblings. It's about our focus on the orgasm as the only goal in sex. It's another of life's paradoxes that the more you focus on cuming, the less pleasurable or more difficult it will be. Give surrender a shot. I bet you'll like the results.

spunkycumfun 63M/69F
41171 posts
7/29/2014 2:47 am

 I've just read her post; it's far from a ramble.


Smokeblower replies on 7/29/2014 9:37 am:
That's what I thought as well.

demonicsexkitten 49F
10694 posts
7/29/2014 6:01 am

 LOL This wasn't quite the post I was thinking to see here

Thank you.

As for the title: I had no clue what to call it, and really it was just free-flowing words. My post started out different (I deleted part for another post another day).


Smokeblower replies on 7/29/2014 9:40 am:
You're welcome, DSK. I thought the post was well written, and as others have said, not rambling at all. And I think the topic is pretty important. Keep up the good work!

KItkat1415 61F  
20051 posts
7/29/2014 8:44 am

 Hm. I don't think I've ever focused on the orgasm part.
For years, when I was with my ex, I never came during sex,
somewhere between 6-8 yrs of never cumming during sex.
That was a long ass time to go without orgasms during sex,
but I just accepted it because I did like the intimacy of sex
with the father of my children and I thought maybe it was a symptom
of menopause.

Since becoming single again, I have met men that cannot orgasm
During sex, men who prefer to orgasm not inside of a woman,
Prefer to give pleasure instead of orgasming and don't care if
They cum or not during a sessions. I don't think I care if I orgasm
Or not, that isn't a goal of mine, and yet I seem to do ok in that
area now.

Having a goal isn't bad, but being inflexible about that goal, is.
Just my opinion,
Kk
The observant make the best lovers,
I may not do right, but I do write,
I have bliss, joy, and happiness in my life,
Kitkat
Come check out my blog
KItkat1415
check out this post by me
Adventures In Body Grooming
#39 April Topic Link: What Lies Beneath
If April Showers Oh Bloody Hell What Kind Of Weather Turns Me On Bloggers Symposium 40


Smokeblower replies on 7/29/2014 9:46 am:
Thank you for sharing your experience, KitKat. 8 years is a LONG time to go without an orgasm during sex, though I get that you still like the intimacy of sex. That's a big draw for me as well... I'm in your category of "preferring to give pleasure instead of orgasming and not caring if i cum" - that intimacy is in some ways the greater of the pleasures. That said, I do have energetic orgasms almost all the time with a deeply connected partner, and when I do ejaculate with that partner it's an amazing feeling of union and can go on for a very long time. Sounds like we are in very much the same stage of our orgasming life - not having a goal makes the pleasure far more intense!

sweet_VM 65F
81699 posts
7/29/2014 9:33 am

 It isn't not even close to being rambling.. It was excellent.. hugsssssssssssss V
Become a blog watcher sweet_vm


Smokeblower replies on 7/29/2014 9:46 am:
Yes! Thanks for stopping by, V!

VerandahPoly 80M  
526 posts
3/2/2015 9:42 am
    Quoting demonicsexkitten:
    LOL This wasn't quite the post I was thinking to see here

    Thank you.

    As for the title: I had no clue what to call it, and really it was just free-flowing words. My post started out different (I deleted part for another post another day).
Aw, Kitty! Now I have to go chase that one down in your Blog. Thank you for leading me to this fascinating man. Don't his pictures of himself and his love just explode?!


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