Friends With Offers of Benefits - a Blog Post by rm_rakehell500

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6/1/2015 3:32 pm

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6/3/2015 1:17 pm

Friends With Offers of Benefits

This has happened to me numerous times over the years whether I was in a relationship or not, and since it happened again the other day I am going to finally ask the question of woman and men, but I need to explain what I mean.

I have mentioned to some of you in various comments I went through a spell in the seventies and eighties where every time I went out, and sometimes just in conversation, women would casually note they would like to have a with me. Most were not looking for a husband or even a relationship. They just liked my qualities (and I wish they had told me what they were, because I could not see them).

This happened with younger women and older women. To be frank, I got a little paranoid, feeling as if before going on date I should ask if she was going to want a baby. It was about the third thing my first wife, Angelique ever said to me, "I want to have your ."

You've seen my picture, I'm no lady-killer, even with hair.

That isn't the phenomena I meant though. The one I am discussing here is a bit more complex than the previous one which may have just been biology calling to an unused uterus from ready eggs. This one I don't know about.

So Friday, a friend, younger than me by several years, out of the blue says: "You know, if I weren't in a good relationship I'd sleep with you in a minute."

Granted we were kidding and flirting, I'm a little flirtatious, but not annoying with it, just enough to show an interest without being creepy or out of place, showing an appreciation but not ogling or touching or invading their space, but that came from left field, and the thing is it isn't the first time women have said that to me, almost always women younger than me. I ran into this with some of my first two wives friends as well.

"If you weren't married to ...",

'If I wasn't dating ....,"

"If I wasn't in a relationship with, engaged to, sleeping with ..." It goes on. I've heard it four times here, once the first week. Some of them apologize for not having sex with me when I didn't ask.

"I'd really like to, but I think this thing with _____ is serious."

I didn't ask her.

I'm not talking about blogging, but in person, face to face, friends you know and see fairly often even friends where you are close to their partner.

Granted it is flattering, if a little awkward. What do you reply? "I'd nail you in a minute?"

"How's that relationship going?" I actually used that one once, but for a laugh.

"My wife keeps me on a short leash?"

"I'd like to, but my doctor told me to cut down on my cholesterol?"

So the question is to the men, have you had this experience with a woman friend or friend's wife or friend of your wife or girlfriend? And ladies, have you ever said this to a man and did you mean it, and what was his reaction when you did?

I'm serious, I just want to know how common it is. I know it isn't unusual for members of the opposite sex thrown together as friends are to flirt and be attracted, but do most women come out and say it like that. They aren't propositioning me, its more like an apology, but a sincere one, like : "I'd really like to but I just can't ..."

I have to point out, I mean really light flirting, things like how hot she looks, or how great her hair looks, or what an attractive woman she is, no propositions, no hints, no serious seduction, sometimes it just comes our of clear air with no flirting at all.

"I'd sleep with you right now if I wasn't ..."

Honestly, have you ever said this to anyone face to face?