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| Blogs > mimi4evah > My Blog |
Dating- "You're not worth it"
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Dating- "You're not worth it" In a couple of days I will have been divorced for 5 years. I've not had a boyfriend for over 3 years and most of those 5 years (even when I had a boyfriend) I have been alone. Even before divorce I was alone. I've figured out how to do the alone very well. I am comfortable in it and not unhappy. I am at the point where I feel secure enough in my healing (of the broken heart) and and my self in general that I feel like I have room in my life to share ME with another. I've been going on dates here and there. Nothing serious, and no one has jumped out to say that I need to see more of them for more than a couple of dates. I could tell you some of the stories of crazy dates, but that is rather boring. Instead I will tell you about this one. He's been trying for a few weeks to get me to meet him. His messages to me are always really odd. At one point I asked him if he was HIGH. He would pester me when I was out with friends, insist that I meet him NOW. Yesterday even though we had evening plans he was messaging me that I should meet him at a bar. It was 2 in the afternoon. When I told him that was not going to happen, he replied with C'mon babe!!! Really? Babe? You've never even met me, it is 2 in the afternoon... AND I am at WORK!!! Our plans were to meet a bar not far for either of us. Well lit and feels secure to me. I get home and let him know that I'd be ready soon. He proceeds to say that I should drive about 5 miles and meet him at this dive bar. (I'd been clear that I don't like dive bars). I call him and he hangs up on me. I think ok. I am done. Then he calls me back about 20 minutes later. Asks me again if I'd not come to where he is and blah blah blah. I explain that a friend from work had asked me to join her at this bar that he and I were going to and I'd told her that I was already going to be there. Perfect and a win win. He goes on to say well maybe tomorrow then. I for the first time in my life.... do not cater to someone else's needs. I say maybe not. You and I had plans for this night and you've changed them. I am going to continue on with my night, but good luck. Fast forward about an hour he texts me and say she is going to join us at the bar. He arrives and is just not what I expected. The pictures he's put on line really are not a good representation of him and I am not fully sure he can carry on a conversation. Plus he keeps looking over my body. More friends show up.... we end up deciding to sit someplace else. He doesn't join and leaves. Tonight he sends me a message after 11pm and it just says "You're not worth it".... This is something I've heard and felt all my life. I am not enough. I am not worthy of good things, good people..... and really in the end the expectation that I can be loved, wanted, cherished..... Not sure why this is bothering me. I didn't reply. I should not let this bother me.... but honestly it just is. It isn't even just that he said it.... it is all everything combined. I don't think I want to do this anymore. |
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Don't let what some loser says affect your esteem or search for something good. He showed his cards early on in his demands. You are not worth it. It being him. You are worth so much more.
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You are a warm, open, caring, amazing woman. Not worth it? Don't make me laugh!
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listen -- there are all types of men on here... what this one wanted was an easy hookup -- in his mind he think he deserves you come to him, for you to not expect an actual conversation before you blew him in the bathroom, for you to be available for something quick that he could get into and out of in less than 2 hours (and I'm thinking 2 hours might be too long of a commitment for this dude to act like a human being). That's what he meant when he said you weren't worth it. Not being critical of you here, but if you were a 22 yr old scantily dressed and licking his neck in front of your friends, he'd think that was worth it -- but she'd never get a conversation or anything of substance out of him either... he'd prob cum in 2 mins and leave her hanging and tell her it's her fault she didn't get off fast enough. I've met some really great men on here and some really horrible ones -- how we got to the ' 1st meet' never seems to be an indicator as to how well it will go (because assholes can be patient and nice too for a while) so you just have to use your best judgement and remember that if something doesn't seem right, it probably isn't. This guy gave you quite a few red flags... put him on block and move on from this whole thing, including your feeling of unworthiness -- even if you did meet him at his bar, even if you did hit the sheets, even if you were the best thing he's had in the last 5 yrs, he'd still rack and stack you with all his sexual liaison and all the nekkid easy VisionPersonals.com women, and make you feel less than you are -- it's how he works his sex life and he prays on and manipulates women this way -- just think of how many other women might 'work harder' to gain his attention. Be glad you're not that chick!  This is just a bump in the road -- good luck and have fun on here
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Wow, what a weirdo, I doubt you'd ever want to be at his level of worthiness, He sounds like more of a timebomb waiting to happen to whomever ends up with him somehow.
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I'm sure (well certain personally) that there are those that prefer a cute brunette to a plastic blonde model type. Though then I do agree that this online dating stuff does suck and people seem to always be looking for something more, an online catalog, chat for a bit and then nothing as they move on to the next fancy, a perpetually moving fantasy in the online world.
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You are cute and you seem to be honest and generally have it together. That's worth a lot more than what that guy was offering!
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Mimi you are absolutely stunning and are very much worth it so don't let this type of guy get you down . keep smiling pretty lady!
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Don't get discouraged. You are a very attractive lady and seem to be a good person. I wish we were closer. I would love to take you out.
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Bright eyes! A Warm smile! And after all that beggin and pleading, changing plans, he said you were not worth it? Lots of expectations with very little pay out. [I]Da Focker!!
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I agree, he was the one not worth your efforts and energy, he was a total looser and will likely never amount to anything in any aspect of his life, forget about him and move on to someone more positive and intelligent, you deserve it!
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