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Blogs > khuXBFXM8u > The Down and Dirty

Speak your mind…  

khuXBFXM8u 62M
6260 posts
6/2/2014 5:32 am
Speak your mind…
Do you? When it’s time to make a point, do you speak up? There are two extremes: speak your mind without regard for the feelings of others, or don’t speak your mind at all.

The trick is finding a point somewhere between being cowardly and saying nothing to avoid conflict and not getting involved, or speaking up and letting the chips fall where they may. There is lots of advice on how to speak up effectively; remain calm, watch the tone of your voice or words so that you don’t’ convey anger or similar negative emotions; make sure your words don’t hurt or push away others. Take your time and thing through what you are about to say. But sometimes the situation is so emotionally charged that it’s difficult.



There is a show on ABC called “What would you do” that tests this out. If you haven’t seen it, you should oogle it and have a look. The show is basically a candid camera setup to see how everyday people handle contentious situations. Do they step up and get involved or do they just take a “not my problem” kind of approach. In the real world or the candid camera setup of the “What would you do” show, the people who choose to get involved are really putting themselves out there. It got me to thinking about our interactions here. If internet bravery theories are correct, we should be braver here on VisionPersonals.com, but are we? Certainly with the amount of blogs that are written about the poor behavior of member, it seems VisionPersonals.com bloggers are more likely to step up. But what happens with blog post, where some of the anonymity is lost, since it will be clear who you are and who you’re at odds with. When you stumble across a post, that’s just spewing what you believe to be bullshit, what do you do?

Do you just move on to the next blog?
Do you leave a comment calling “bullshit” bluntly in the harshest terms you can get away with?
Do you voice your disagreement tactfully in a way not to offend?
Do you handle each one of these situations you encounter differently?
Do have an entirely different way of handling things?

In the real world, do you handle things the same way that you handle things her in the Ville?

Your thoughts please
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2titsnowaiting 57F
1546 posts
6/2/2014 5:52 am

 I speak up, probably far more often than people wish I would LOL both online and in the offline world. I am not shy, especially if I feel there is injustice at work.

In general I speak up with logic and facts. Occasionally I use emotion, but more often I go that route when I am trying to persuade others to join me in a cause (versus just ranting on my own behalf).
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khuXBFXM8u 62M
10296 posts
6/2/2014 6:02 am
    Quoting 2titsnowaiting:
    I speak up, probably far more often than people wish I would LOL both online and in the offline world. I am not shy, especially if I feel there is injustice at work.

    In general I speak up with logic and facts. Occasionally I use emotion, but more often I go that route when I am trying to persuade others to join me in a cause (versus just ranting on my own behalf).
Fact can be a powerful weapon to combat bullshit. It's good that you feel compelled to step up when there is a perceived injustice.
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pal334 69M  
45821 posts
6/2/2014 6:11 am
In blogland, if I see something I think is "BS" , I generally move on to another post. Since it is "their" blog, they can say what they want. If that blog seems to be soliciting input, I will try to tactful express my disagreement. In real life , I can be very out spoken. I use tact to the maximum extent possible, but will "shoot a broadside" if the circumstances require it.

[image]
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spunkycumfun 63M/69F
41171 posts
6/2/2014 7:15 am

 I speak my mind more freely offline than online. In blogland, I don't leave negative or conflictual comments on people's blogs, I just quickly move on.


khuXBFXM8u 62M
10296 posts
6/2/2014 9:11 am
    Quoting pal334:
    In blogland, if I see something I think is "BS" , I generally move on to another post. Since it is "their" blog, they can say what they want. If that blog seems to be soliciting input, I will try to tactful express my disagreement. In real life , I can be very out spoken. I use tact to the maximum extent possible, but will "shoot a broadside" if the circumstances require it.

    [image]
A real life "bring all guns to bear" approach.
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sweet_VM 65F
81699 posts
6/2/2014 9:22 am

 In blog land if I see something that BS I normally move on to the next blog. If it is one of my regular bloggers I will leave a .. Just saying I was there and I have no comments. I don't like to leave negative comments on someone blog.

In real life, I will call the person on it.. Nothing worst then someone giving you a line and all BS.. I am very out spoken in real life. Why I got myself into trouble a couple of times at work but it seemed to work out nicely for who ever I was defending.. hugs V
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khuXBFXM8u 62M
10296 posts
6/2/2014 9:22 am
    Quoting  :
I understand what you are saying, and have hear whispers about past Ville drama. I must say honestly, I'm a little surprised at your approach... I consider you tactfully assertive (as opposed to passive), with a low tolerance for B.S.; this is one of the things I really enjoy about your blog.

Nevertheless, past experiences is a harsh and wise teacher.
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khuXBFXM8u 62M
10296 posts
6/2/2014 9:26 am
    Quoting spunkycumfun:
    I speak my mind more freely offline than online. In blogland, I don't leave negative or conflictual comments on people's blogs, I just quickly move on.
I am the same way, but I will leave conflicting comment, particularly if I have some familiarity and respect for the blogger. Others I will just move on from their blog, or leave one of two smiley faces or
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khuXBFXM8u 62M
10296 posts
6/2/2014 9:33 am
    Quoting sweet_VM:
    In blog land if I see something that BS I normally move on to the next blog. If it is one of my regular bloggers I will leave a .. Just saying I was there and I have no comments. I don't like to leave negative comments on someone blog.

    In real life, I will call the person on it.. Nothing worst then someone giving you a line and all BS.. I am very out spoken in real life. Why I got myself into trouble a couple of times at work but it seemed to work out nicely for who ever I was defending.. hugs V
hey you have left me a few . Just kidding

It's a fine line between being negative and challenging someone's statements, here in the Ville. For someone I respect, I will trying and walk that line, and hope they will do the same for me. Other's just get ignored or a smiley face. You have probably figured out by now, I can be quite outspoken.
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sexysixties2 106F
Ask me for a photo
39750 posts
6/2/2014 12:01 pm

 I rarely call someone on their own blog...after all it is their space but I have been known to post about things which I consider to be wrong here....I don't tolerate plagiarism or bullying in any shape or form but will deal with it on my own blog.

In real life I will confront people as tactfully as possible.
"Age does not protect you from love, but love, to some extent, protects you from age."

~~Anais Nin~~


openagenda 108M
6275 posts
6/2/2014 12:23 pm


khuXBFXM8u 62M
10296 posts
6/2/2014 1:08 pm
    Quoting  :
"in general"... it sound like you have voiced you opinion a time or two.
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khuXBFXM8u 62M
10296 posts
6/2/2014 1:10 pm
    Quoting  :
It's an interesting show. I first heard about it in one of the groups I belong too here. It is surprising to see how people react.
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khuXBFXM8u 62M
10296 posts
6/2/2014 1:19 pm
    Quoting  :
Tactful is always best, but should we let potential drama handcuff us?
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khuXBFXM8u 62M
10296 posts
6/2/2014 1:24 pm
    Quoting  :
Check it out Missy, especially the Harlem barbershop episode. It is surprising the lengths some will go to, and the differing methods they will use.
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khuXBFXM8u 62M
10296 posts
6/2/2014 1:37 pm
    Quoting sexysixties2:
    I rarely call someone on their own blog...after all it is their space but I have been known to post about things which I consider to be wrong here....I don't tolerate plagiarism or bullying in any shape or form but will deal with it on my own blog.

    In real life I will confront people as tactfully as possible.
Sexy... an ingenious way to speak your mind tactfully.
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khuXBFXM8u 62M
10296 posts
6/2/2014 1:43 pm
    Quoting George_W_Johnson:
    I believe in the right for anyone to be as wrong as they want to be - I will not interfer with that, nor do I wish to add to stupidity - so on a blog post I would normally leave it alone.

    if someone specifically asks for my opinion I may write something, or if I don't really have an opinion , just walk on by

    where I will speak up is when someone is being attacked, or abused, I can not stand by and watch that
Interesting way of phrasing that George, "the right to wrong". I am also not one to stand by or walk away from a situation were someone is being attacked and abused.
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khuXBFXM8u 62M
10296 posts
6/2/2014 1:46 pm
    Quoting  :
My bad I will add another catch all choice.
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khuXBFXM8u 62M
10296 posts
6/2/2014 1:48 pm

 interesting
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stardust81937 87M
8340 posts
6/2/2014 2:02 pm

 I've seen the show you mentioned in your post, and found it pretty fascinating. In today's world I also found that kind of speaking up to get a person perhaps, in deep trouble--or knifed or shot. I've been in my share of fights and at 77 I hope to live on into the future, so I would probably call 911 and report real trouble, but walk away..

Having been on this site for 8 years (during the summers) I've also been in "Jams" with a couple of other bloggers. I've learned my lesson here too, I've always believed in "living and letting live" so I just go on my own way and never return to that particular blog again. My main desire for this site has always been just to mind my own business and write my posts to keep my brain from drying up and blowing away with the desert dust. (laughing).. great post...dave


khuXBFXM8u 62M
10296 posts
6/2/2014 2:11 pm

 Yepppps, definitely not as dangerous up here.
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hotsandy5 49F
10514 posts
6/2/2014 7:28 pm

 Life teaches that we must be restrained. I think that the disagreement can or should be expressed without offending anyone. There is a proverb that says: do not do to others what you do not want to do to you. I always try to think before writing, just not to injure sensitive susceptibilities.
Hugs!
A única alegria isenta de amargura é a de bem proceder.


khuXBFXM8u 62M
10296 posts
6/2/2014 7:37 pm
    Quoting hotsandy5:
    Life teaches that we must be restrained. I think that the disagreement can or should be expressed without offending anyone. There is a proverb that says: do not do to others what you do not want to do to you. I always try to think before writing, just not to injure sensitive susceptibilities.
    Hugs!
Well put Sandy
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khuXBFXM8u 62M
10296 posts
6/3/2014 12:09 pm
    Quoting  :
Kind of a, "walk softly and carry a big stick" approach.
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