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| Blogs > imintothat69 > An Observer's Notes |
Basket Theory 101
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Basket Theory 101 I have a little extra time on my hands (oh, and maybe some lotion) and thought I'd throw a few words against the wall and see what sticks. Over the years, I have developed a simple yet effective way of handling most of what life/chance may choose to toss in your general direction and thought I'd share. What follows is the underlying theme Basket Theory is predicated upon. In this life there are two(2) baskets. One (1) with your name on it and one (1) labeled "theirs". It is your job to figure out which problems belong in which basket. Simple in concept but not as easy to apply. I once read (and somewhat agree) the hardest word to say is "No". Although we hear this word many, many times while growing up and is often one of the first words we learn to say, we still find it difficult to say even to a stranger let alone an acquaintance or friend. In fact, this most likely has already happened to you today. It could be as simple as someone asking to borrow a pen, park their car at your house for "awhile", borrow/give money (think why does panhandling still exist - because it works!) or as complex as a relationship or this sentence. The trick is to classify/clarify whose basket the problem belongs in first. If it is clearly not in your basket, then you have a decision to make. Should you allow this person to put their problem in your basket or not. If your basket is not full (mine seems to always be) and you want to "help" then by all means reach into "their" baskets and help yourself. I'm certain most people will not only allow you but welcome you. Basket Theory in Action I once had a girlfriend (I know, hard to believe) who liked to stop over unannounced at which point she would expect me to drop what I was doing or had planned and pay attention to her. Whose basket does that problem belong in, hers or mine? Don't answer yet as there is more to the story. One day she stopped by and I already had made plans with my friends to go out. I informed her of my plans and asked if she wanted me to cancel my plans and stay with her instead. She sheepishly said, "No, you don't have to if you don't want to." so I did not. I went out with my friends and had a great time. Of course, later that same evening she was all upset but wouldn't say why although I strongly suspected why. We quit seeing each other shortly after that but I'd make the same decision again. So how does basket theory fit into this story? First step: Identify the problem(s) - Yes, there maybe more than one, in fact there usually are. Problem #1 - Unannounced visits Problem #2 - Expectations Problem #3 - Not being honest Problem #4 - She was upset Second step: Identify whose basket the problem belongs in. Problem #1 - My basket - If I had made it clear it was unacceptable the first time then she never would have kept on doing it. Problem #2 - Her basket - Stop by without making plans and expect me to stop what I'm doing and thank the lord she graced me with her presence - yeah right. Problem #3 - Her basket - She wasn't honest with herself or me when she said "you don't have to if you don't want to". Problem #4 - Her basket Third step: If the problem(s) belongs in your basket, then deal with it. If the problem is not in your basket then you have a decision to make. Problem #1 - My basket - If I didn't at some level like her stopping by unannounced, then I would have stopped it: personal note - I like booty calls  - my problem eh? Good problem to have Problem #2 - She tried to put her problem (failure to make plans) in my basket when she stopped by and expected me to stand at attention. Sometimes I'd allow this problem in my basket (the sex was phenomenal), on other occasions I would not. Problem #3 - Her basket - think carefully when answering questions of this nature - be honest with yourself and the person your with as this kind of passive/aggressive behavior can quickly fill your basket. Problem #4 - Her basket - I plainly asked her if she wanted me to stay with her instead and she replied "only if you want to" and I did not want to, so I left. She was upset later but wouldn't say why - her problem, her basket. Now, lets take a look at the scoreboard: My basket has one problem and her basket has three. This is like golf, the lower score wins. Nothing is as cut and dry as people would like it to be. In fact, life like sex, can be quite messy. Well my time is precious and I have spent enough on this for now. All feedback is encouraged and hope this blog finds your basket empty. Here's hoping your basket is empty Basket Theory and your algebra skills are improving Algebra is Like Sex |
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Very interesting theory, Im going to try doing that.
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You are very logical. I like that. I don't always follow logic, but I do admire it! LOL Thanks for pointing this out to me. 2022... it HAS be better, right?!
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There are times where logic is not the correct choice. I believe everything in moderation but that should include moderation. Just for the record, I don't always go for the logical choice either - life would be lacking passion if we all went logical Here's hoping your basket is empty Basket Theory and your algebra skills are improving Algebra is Like Sex
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Good theory Thanks for directing me over here, it's been an interesting read From Alicia With Love XX Come and join me in Wonderland... Talk to me... Play with me... lead me astray.... [blog AliciaBlonde]
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as i read on i realized that your right we let our baskets get full with other people's problems just because that simple two lettered word is so hard for us to say but i think we should just try alil harder and ply our tongues from wherever they stick when the time to say NO comes. the problem is that when we think of emptying our baskets we consider all the mayhem that will arise and we would rather cart them full wherever we go than unleash all that chaos into our lives! karma's areal bitch!
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Sadly I've done the "only if you want to" thing before.  Great post. Though stopping to think "who's basket does this belong in?" isn't so realistic for me. I'm kinda spur of the moment that way. Saying "No" is very difficult... I feel I need a very good excuse to say no, and if I can't explain it I give in and say yes. Though I *have* sorted by will it give me energy or take energy away, and where are my energy levels at.
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hah I have called it the apple and which tree theory.... but hey I like sitting under my tree and contemplating.  Way to let that masculinity shine so my femininity was attracted.
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hah I have called it the apple and which tree theory.... but hey I like sitting under my tree and contemplating. Way to let that masculinity shine so my femininity was attracted. Now, when it comes to trees, I like to do more than contemplate under them or in them if the other party is game. BTW - didn't know my masculinity was showing but decidely happy it attracted you. Here's hoping your basket is empty Basket Theory and your algebra skills are improving Algebra is Like Sex
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If we continue to fill our basket with other people's problems then he will eventually show up on your doorstep asking for a donation of your grey matter. I'll take his sister any day of the week - at least she delivers what you deserve. 
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