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| Blogs > evergrnstatewife > Mrs. evergreenstatewife |
The comfy chaos of change
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The comfy chaos of change It’s funny how the past revisits us at times. Things or incidents we thought we have progressed past seem to clog again our subconscious once again as we brace to cross that honesty bridge. My wife’s relationships with other men have always been exciting to me. They fascinate me on more levels than just sex. I think at first, in the beginning, she participated in them for me. To say the concept of an open marriage simply on her behalf seemed odd or strange, and she wondered to herself what the ‘catch’ might be. Even though I am a cuckold she claims me as me and has no interest or desire to include another woman. And honestly, I didn’t either. I can’t please one, why on earth would I desire another? But I think she wondered if we started this lifestyle if I would venture the question, can I have a lover too? But believe me that was never in the cards. Cucks just aren’t wired like that. It took us awhile to get to this stage. Many years in fact. Over time my sincere enjoyment for her pleasure took over. It became easily seem by her. I took an interest in her relationships, not only from my sexual standpoint, but hers too. Her pleasure became important to me. It still is. The sexual charge of seeing her fucked, or hearing the details afterwards were feelings and emotions I couldn’t hide. Neither could she. She liked relaying the details more than me seeing them. She loved the way her words drew the story, and that she indeed held the power simply by disclosing certain facts of her fucked filled evening. She got off on the secrecy of the details she left behind. Most people secrecy as a part of deception to it. And true, that part of the word is correct. But secrecy without deception is what’s shared between us. Not disclosing a particular position or relaying who many times he called her pussy tight, isn’t deception, but details shared between them. As we spoke the other night she told me she’s always liked fucking outside our house. I knew that. She’s mentioned it lots over the years. That’s one of the reasons why she doesn’t date men who have significant others. She likes the feeling of ‘sneaking’ around honestly without the guilt of deception. She likes the spice of different sheets, walls, and surroundings. “I would never ever cheat on you,” she said sincerely as we talked face to face inches from each other. I know that. Being a cuckoldress you have to have some sort of exhibitionism to you. Fucking and teasing your cuck is sort of a requirement, especially when he’s sitting next to you or in the next room. That part of the lifestyle wasn’t exciting to her. She’s not really an exhibitionist. So sometimes it was a tug of war between finding my role in her sex life, and fucking her bull. I could see that as I pressed and inquired on what she wanted from me. But, when she was outside, dating freely, the atmosphere was different. There was no pressure to please or worry about me. There was no pressure on her. She could be free and let the magical feelings and emotions of sex take over and guide her. She could fuck her man, and he could fuck her. Some of our most intense feelings and re-bonding came from when she returned home afterwards. She thrived on the sexual feelings it gave her. The freedom to fuck as she wanted knowing I was excited, and supportive of the idea. She loved the reality of me waiting for her, jerking myself and playing to her naughty escapades in my mind. She would tell me very little, but just enough to satisfy my perversions while she kept the rest to herself. As we talked about this newest chapter with Phil he was intrigued and supportive of the concept. “He just wanted to make sure you were okay with it,” she said to me. . . I’ve played this out in my head millions of times. I’ve fantasized about it. Will fantasy equal reality? We will see, for us both. As we talked about the flow of things there will be times when I am aware of her activities, and times I am not. There will also be times when she plans on fucking in front of me again. She doesn’t want to lose that part. “I do enjoy that,” she said, referring to me watching and waiting. “But we’ll see how it starts out, and play it from there. I will do what I want to do and you’ll find out if I want you to,” she added. I was excited! Driven by a host of sexual desires, thoughts, and flow. I thought about asking when she was going to start! Painful as it was, I decided not to. Shared wife -evergreenstatewife |
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I truly enjoy your blogs! You have so many layers of feelings about cuckolding. I admire you peeling them back and examining them in detail and determining how they fit into the lifestyle you wish to have. Bravo J! I have always wondered (since I am not a cuck) what you would do if you wife did insist upon you having sex with a woman. I am sure your initial response would be terror, but what if you actually had to do it to satisfy her curiosity?
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