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| Blogs > aloneagainbitch > Relationship Meltdown |
To the Lunatic Fringe and all the "Sane" Memebers of these Blogs
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To the Lunatic Fringe and all the "Sane" Memebers of these Blogs I sound like a broken record but once again my time is short, a deadline of 2/4 is looming or excitedly on the horizon (My current perception) . . .Reality really is just perception, don't believe it, try this exercise pick any major topic and discuss with someone who doesn't believe as you do and you will quickly learn your reality isn't theirs. Whose reality is right? It depends on my perception . . .Circular huh!  I still can't believe it sometimes but I have met so many wonderful people on this site (And I have not had sex with any of them, well maybe in some of my dreams, the perception was real)  I want to thank all of them because otherwise I wouldn't be in the Fringe, I would be in the bin wearing a nice white jacket that closes in the back. LOL! I wish I could tell you who they were but that would break my promise to each one and I can't do that. But I can say they are a diverse group. Never sell anyone (Real people) short on this site because people you wouldn't expect can become your greatest friends and I have been extremely fortunate!  Currently I am cultivating a new relationship (Friend Primarily) but I am a "hopeless romantic" as she is so one never knows until one puts themselves out there. You can't hide in a room and experience life, unless you have a laptop and internet connection, ha, ha but really true intimacy can only happen with physical contact and being vulnerable. Keep your fingers crossed. To make this all work out I have to take action that I don't want to take but must because I am tired of digging (BTW that's how you know when you have reached bottom, tired of digging).  I am joining the Army, ha ha that's the Salvation Army and I can do that anywhere but presently the plan is Albuquerque, at least that is where the bus ticket says but again I am a hopeless romantic and I have 17 days left. Why there? I have been off drugs for almost 30 days so that was the original reason but is now only a part. During the last 7 months I have experienced homelessness, being treated unfairly in an ER because I didn't have heath insurance, just generally like garbage because I was hurting from some really big mistakes I made that surprisingly became clear when I got off drugs and gets better with each day, HUH! Plus I want to help other people through the Sal. Army get better like me and live happy lives. BTW, the wreckage is still there no matter what, bankrupt, no car, no job, and really no family that are able to really help so the Salvation Army really is my Salvation. Circular people, life really is circular. And one of the most important reasons is to become the real me again . . .loving, caring, honest, empathetic, sympathetic, intelligent, and finally non-idiot. I finally got it, it finally sunk in for the 1st time just now, I am so friggin excited, my second marriage is over.  No divorce yet I can't file, no residence so she is going to have to do it. Wow, it is finally over in my head (My Perception)!  To my new "Hopeless Romantic" friend hope is not dead, it is very much alive and I am doing this for you too and if not for you then for one of our other "Hopeless Romantic" friends. I know your out there, Oh, Oh, I know your out there. No War just Peace . . .
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I only just read this... *HUG* I read your newer posts first. Don't give up hope.
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