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Blogs > aloneagainbitch > Relationship Meltdown

.Final Quickie 2012 DivorcedHomeless and Lunatic Fringe!  

aloneagainbitch 56M
20 posts
12/31/2012 8:56 pm

Last Read:
1/28/2013 7:40 am
.Final Quickie 2012 DivorcedHomeless and Lunatic Fringe!
Budding artists, I'm poor and broke, send me a design on my color highlighted item below & when i get some cash I will put your tattoo design right on my body, Please and Thank you . . .

Destiny & Yin/Yang were my 1st & 2nd Tattoos. One other person shares them and no matter what they do to defile them, they can never take away what they meant.

My next tattoo will be a Broken Heart wearing a Crown surrounded by the word Pain. This one will be awesome and the design is already in my head, I wish I could draw baby. If you are an artist and you have a design in your head, please send it to me and I will gladly consider using it instead.

These are and will be a symbol for the ONE that "I love to hate and I hate to love". If you think hard on this, you will relate to someone I am sure or you just haven't lived long enough yet. And if you have lived long enough and can't relate, I am so happy for you, I mean truly happy for you.

Thank goodness this is an end of year quickie and a new year is around the corner, it can only get better!!!

aloneagainbitch (Mike)
demonicsexkitten 48F
10694 posts
1/28/2013 12:21 am

 I hurt, but do not hate. I cry in agony, I despair, I fall and wail in grief. I suffer doubts and anger. My heart breaks... a thousand shattered pieces on the ground. But I pick them up again. And I forgive. And I love.

Well... gratefully, every man that has broken my heart was, at the core, a good man. They hurt me emotionally by leaving, but never physically, mentally, or emotionally abused me. And as I fought myself and sometimes even them to keep friendship alive after... they have stood beside me.

Sometimes... sometimes ... I want to scream "I hate you!!" but what I really mean is: "I hate that you hurt me. I hate that you didn't fight to make this work. I hate that you left." and ultimately it all comes back to "I love you".

Sorry... your post is about you. I shouldn't make my response about me. I understand the "hate to love" sentiment.... but I think "I love to hate" will consume you. Well... not sure how Buddhists think on it But I believe if you give in to Hate... you let the dark side win. "Use the force, Luke!" haha (Sorry... it's midnight. I'm delirious and greatly amuse myself).

Wish I were a better artist, so I could draw that tattoo for you. Though I'd try to sneak in a little love, forgiveness, and spring-like hope. I'd love to hear you happy and free of this.


aloneagainbitch replies on 1/28/2013 5:51 am:
Out of some twisted sense of devotion and my name says it all, I keep getting sucked back in by someone who at their core is not a good person well maybe they are but just lost in their own addictions. I dislike even saying that because it makes me think they are somehow not responsible for their actions ........To me its quite apparent they know exactly what they doing.

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