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| Blogs > Sierraclassic > Well, lets see...sex anyone? |
Male vs female bloggers..what a minefield
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Male vs female bloggers..what a minefield A young 29 year old lady posted a blog about young male bloggers What the blog world needs more of. Apart from the obvious replys comments this blog recieved, it got me thinking about this site, the blogs and the people here in general. Bear with me, but this is my opinion only and is only based on my very very limited observations, but I don't think I too far in left field So, aside from the obvious way this site works, the more hits, the higher the count, and yes, the 45 million to one ratio of men to women here, it would initially seem obvious why women blogs hit the top, but I truly think its more than just that. Why age 40+ womens blogs outnumber all blogs in general. My unscientific observation of these blogs tend to be 'life' trackers of their lives, usually at this age, full of stuff not easily worked through...marriage break-ups, emotional turmoil, life turmoil of jobs, and husbands and they needing somewhere to mark their words. Also, second marriages, second/third/fourth relationships, an outlet for emotional poems and stories, with MANY stating clearly they are here only to write, not to really communicated directly with anyone. I have lost count how many pinned top entries state this. About 1/2 these blogs bear their lives completely to strangers, and if I were anyone in their lives, likely horrified to think some of the details shared on this site, are actually shared! I have seen women sharing their unfortunate late in life pregnacy still born experiences, their detailed turmoil of family and friends in life crisis etc. I tend to agree with many who feel this site (clearly a sex site) may not be the best place to share this stuff. Frankly many would never use eHarmony to do this(really, who is going to date someone who just told you they just had the worst day of their life etc...) I do get from this crowd they have already removed themselves from any real meeting with any men/women the say they may want to meet, and use this as their personal writing site, regardless of the purpose of the site. I say this crowd of over 40+ ladies..please get help! Really, if your life is this bad..you truly need help in the real world. This includes the married types complaining about lifeless husbands, listless , annoying extended family...you name it, but most has no relation to the name of this site. I don't care if you cheat (fuck someone other than your husband) but just tell me about how amazing that sex was, not how your heads all fucked up because you did it. Lastly, a lot of these post in this 'category' spend an inordinate amount of time exposing or showing how ignorant men here are. yes, there are lots, but these ladies post every bit of communication and then belittle them. This is female bullying in my mind. Definitely, men, your worst behaviour is being exposed, but endless complaining and using this as justification as all men here are the same,,,,get a life please and get off of here... The second half is much much more diverse and cannot be generalized, but I do find two subsets. 1. Emotional, everythings pink and roses, with endless poems and sunset pictures. Since their is never much of real revealed, have no real idea if these ladies are meeting and talking with people here, but definitely they are the glass half full crowd. Again, after about 10 pages of the same thing,,,,99% of men and I am sure over 50% of the women who read this eventually never come back as its all the same. Btw...this includes the 'give me a caption crowd..this is NOT instagram" 2. The blogs I truly love...real, communcative, revealing positive posts of their sexuality, their erotic stories, the occasional personal picture or video, and can really tell these ladies have their shit together..no baggage or they are dealing with it properly. These women accept men the way they are..all the imperfections, the ignorant to the powerful. They don't complain about these men, they deal with them. I am definitely attracted to the ladies in this group. I met one recently (yes, another married woman) and can tell you ..wow, what a woman. I knew exactly where she was in life, she was in control of it, and knew exactly what she was doing. Her blogs and intelligence is what attracted me, and yes, the fucking was amazing! Her life was far from perfect, but she wasn't letting it drag her down and she was gettin on with it. In general, though, almost all these blogs are usually very very well written, full of thought, truths and heartfelt outbursts, with some actually posting and talking about the acts of sex, and my opinion, likely all highly eductated or at least well read. I also find some I really relate too, and recognize similar stuff in the women I know in real life. Men aged 40+..hard to generalize really in these blogs, I don't read many of them to me they are the following 1. The outrageous number of married men here mean most are just here to find a outlet for some masterbation because they can't relate to the woman in their house/home/life. This tires most of the 40+ women and repulse any of the younger 35 crowd of women...and I get that..understand that. These men could be well read and well intentioned but different than the women, these men literally see the words sex site and expect exactly what it says. They then get mad some faceless woman won't participate in their game and get angry upset and say as much. Aggressiveness, not assertiveness is this group and really never write much execept to 'fuck around' and play the site and the games it generates. This is not a compliment and many should just go. 2. The thoughtful, real men who are more like the group no.2 of the women. These men are well read, usually do have some emotional stuff to open up with, can be funny witty, and when engaged in converstaion in the chat rooms, don't pretend to be anybody but your neighbor who has a hardon!! Yes, these men will tend to be married and playing alone, maybe a little cowardly (pick me) about doing much about it, and mostly have normal lives. 3. The ignorant assholes..yes, there are lots here, yes, they make us men have bad names, but ladies, you have similar types too. These men don't mix words, are likely the cowards and bullies in real life and you need to be called out. Stop it! Behave like real men, own up to treating women with respect, not as an object to dump your cum in some 'hole'. I truly believe these men who post or chat like this, can barely talk to a real woman...and this is their passive aggressive outlet. They also don't take this site for anything but a place to find hookers with out paying... Men younger than 35.... Okay...this was the subject of the lovely young lady. I have tried to read some of the mens' posts in this age group, and I must admit, my age is showing. I tire quickly of the bad grammar, the half-written texting style prose and the in ability to write more than 10 words in a post is disturbing. The rest can't be bothered as they are too busy leading busy lives and truly don't think they need to share every second and bubbling emotion they are having. Young men though, in our society are having it tough. This is the first generation where women for the first time, outnumber men graduating both high school AND post-secondary. Many young men, including my , feel lost, feel there is no place for them and stuggle understanding what being a man is. I would wish, like the young lady, these young men would verbalize these feelings and what they are going through. Secondly, my told me (he is 1  he will rarely share anything with a girl because he is afraid of being ridculed, measured and thought not a man because of his feelings. Men are confused as to what being a man is...is it the metro-sexual toque wearing tight jean wearing hipster, who most young ladies feel comfortable around, have many female friends, but many don't really have a girlfriend, because these same females are actually getting sex from the 'physically masculine' men most women say they hate but can't wait to fuck! YOu know ladies...I see it in your blogs...the fireman, the policemand, the constuction worker, rippled chests, small brains and the bad attitudes as they get on their harley's. You won't marry them...but damn you will fuck them..lol.Lastly in direct response to AliceBlond...young men will not write the way you wish..because they are not young women. They will not write what you want to hear, not that I don't think they should, but when I was 29, truly I was spending 100% of my time going out, having sex, meeting people, and dicking around with my buddies...not writing. Men have not changed much. And, btw...when you marry one, don't expect him to be anything but the guy you love...and if that means he doesn't write or communicate well, you knew when you married him. So, last parting thought. Before you lambast me with the inevitable you don't know anything comments, take a long hard close look at your blog. What is it saying, what are you telling people of this site? are yoiu really using this as therapy or truly trying to communicate. Are you talking about interesting things, asking good questions, provoking good conversation...where do you fit in? Look in the mirror first, you will likely be surprised!! Take care all..and let the flames begin! |
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One of the posts I have read lately that actually had some thought put into it. There you go That's all and none of it tragic.
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9/8/2013 10:18 pm |
True, nomatter what else is said about this post, there was some thought put into this one. Cheers.
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This is a thoughtful post that I tend to agree with in terms of the types of blogs we're seeing. I think another problem young men have with writing is they haven't quite made the connection as to how writing over arches so many aspects of our lives and thus, they haven't integrated writing into their life activities. Of course, some young men still suffer from jumbled, confused thinking and emotions that they are unable to describe verbally in some type of cohesive manner. Never ignore those who care for you you will have lost diamonds while you were collecting stones
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Thanks for the refreshing input - and for saying a LOT of what has been on my mind, now I don't need to blog about it with a pretty sunset!
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This site (more or less) offers anonymity and people can write about things they normally wouldn't where people in IRL would see it. There are people who live and breathe for their blogs, and there are those who simply write for their own entertainment. Each to their own. If I don't like what I read, I simply won't visit that blog again. Personally, I like blogs that use flush left, right rag formatting and are well-written. If I see nothing but a big block of text or all centered, I won't bother reading it, no matter the content.
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When you blog and consistently put your dirty laundry out there you cant get upset what people respond back with. Whether it be judging or something negative. Have to take the good with the bad.
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And what is your views on 48 year old men who blogs?
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My perspective, in response. Welcome to the blogs, by the way!  I've been here for coming up on six years. The wonderful thing about the blogs is this -- if you find one that you don't like, you don't have to read it. People are truly here for all sorts of reasons. And that would include both women and men. Not every man who is here really wants to meet. Many just want wank material, and that's okay. Many love the FANTASY of meeting someone else. We all came here because we had unfulfilled wants or needs. Some of us stayed for the fellowship and community that we found here. And here you are turning your nose up at it.  You don't get to say what "the purpose" of this site is. Sounds like you've fallen for one of Various, Inc's sleazy marketing campaigns. Just because Various says that we are all horny chicks who want to get laid tonight, that doesn't mean that we are in breach of contract if we don't want to meet anyone! Fuck Various! For realz! We are here in SPITE of them. Many of us bloggers were here before Penthouse bought this site, and it used to be a far more pleasant place. This site is made up of hundreds of thousands of people. WE SAY what the site is and will be, collectively. We pay their salary. The bloggers here have led campaign after campaign to curb some of the site owners' worst abuses of us women. This is a big community -- from the lonely wankers, to the cammers, to the lurkers, to the miserable, to the horny, to those cruising for anonymous sex, to those looking for love, to the married and bored, to yes, even the "only here to blog" bloggers. There is a lot to take in here. Not all of it is going to be your cup of tea. Isn't that okay? I stopped even trying to meet men from here because I got tired of trying to date nominally monogamous men. I got tired of the sense of entitlement that so many men have here. I'd far rather choose from OKC where the concentration of polyamorous men is far higher. Now, that being said, I've met some really awesome and interesting people here, though, both men and women. I had two 2+ years relationships from here, and I'm still seeing a long-distance someone I met here four years ago. I've been to blogger meetups. I've flirted over IM. I've developed real and abiding friendships, including my current, non-sexual bestie here in Seattle. Some of your statements express frustration with those women, like me, who stay here to blog. It smacks of entitlement. Stop that! Pretty please with sugar on top.  Move on if you come across someone who doesn't want to meet anyone -- it's as simple as that!I write the story of my life -- the good, the bad, the ugly, the highly erotic and sexual. And I feel no shame because of that. I have worked through a lot of trauma on my blogs, and you know what? I have a group of cheerleaders who've seen me through it, who cry with me when I'm sad, and who cheer for me when I succeed, as I have been lately. That is such an invaluable thing! For me, writing highly personal details on a sex site makes a lot of sense because mostly if people have judgments here, they keep them to themselves or share them in gentle, constructive ways. If they can't do that, they usually don't say anything at all! In any case, just another perspective from the the massive group of sad 40 year olds you just dissed.  Age cannot wither her, nor custom stale Her infinite variety. Other women cloy The appetites they feed, but she makes hungry Where most she satisfies. For vilest things Become themselves in her, that the holy priests Bless her when she is riggish. ~~ from Antony & Cleopatra
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Hmmmm.... Interesting to see you referencing my work.... a heads up would have been appreciated but none the less, glad to inspire I enjoyed the post and agree with many of your points. Especially the one regarding younger men feeling a little lost at times. One point I have to defend on is the comment regarding "when" you find one to marry.... I appreciate I write too much on posts and I try to keep certain things away from my blog, but had you read further you would have noticed I am still, on paper, married. I had been for 4 years and have been separated since the start of this year, pending divorce. Not every person under the age of 35 chooses to spend their time frivolously. I don't feel I did up until now. Of course my younger years were a bit less well spent, but if, like me, you find the one you love, whatever your age, giving up the party years is no hardship at all. You don't think twice about it, and no matter what the outcome (circumstances which I wont delve into) I'll never regret the 5 years he and I spent together. This goes for men too. Most of my friends are a similar age to me and few spend their time "dicking about"... Men included. Its unfair to say younger people don't know real love, because believe me, many do, and it's not your place to say otherwise. My motivation for blogging is that, despite how crazy my teens to mid 20s were, I believed them to be behind me until this year, and I wouldn't have missed them. That's now changed, and it's sometimes confusing for me to almost be reliving a life I left behind. Blogging helps me make sense of so much that I don't always have another outlet for- only a handful of people know I use an adult dating site so I can't talk through my experiences with family/ friends the same way I would about other issues I deal with. I like to blog to really analyse my opinions and beliefs so they are clear in my head, and presenting it to an audience makes me ensure I've really got things cleared up, or I wouldn't feel comfortable pressing "post." It's an excellent therapy to me. I also love the interaction of others, some who have had similar experiences to me and share their thoughts. Although I'm here for meets, I've got talking to some great people, who although I wouldn't meet for a hook up, are great people to talk with. With so many younger men feeling as your son has told you he does, I wrote my post to implore younger men to tackle their inner demons as I do. I don't think it's impossible that they do so, and knowing how much it has helped me, I fully believe it can help others. I do agree that content on this site should be more sexual based. However I am lucky that, any issue I have not regarding this site, I have people who care for me who are always there when I need them. Not everyone is so lucky, so it's no wonder people think this is a good outlet for every issue they have going. Its sometimes inappropriate yes, but who are we to judge? If certain blogs aren't your thing, ignore them. Excellent point on those who think this is twitter though! Those are the kind I cant look at for definite! However, I seek out at least some thought in a blog as I'm attracted to a great mind- many are not this way inclined, which is why the slightly more risqué versions of facebook go down so well. It will be interesting to see some of your other work. Alice xx From Alicia With Love XX Come and join me in Wonderland... Talk to me... Play with me... lead me astray.... [blog AliciaBlonde]
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I did read this ladies thread and did comment too. First off your post is awesome and too the point. I did like what you have said so far. We are all here for all kinds of different reason. I like to read lots of blogs and try to comment back into them when I can. As you realize you can't comment into all of them. I started out blogging many years ago to write erotic stories and share them on this site. I had no other place to see if they were good enough or not. So I thank the blog world for their input. I am not back to this world again after been away for many years. Been over in chat room land and now doing a bit of both. I am here to post not only stories now but other things and I most recently joined this group call HNW which has been a good way to meet folks from the site in this wonderful world of blog.  Be yourself and have fun and I am sure you will see lots of folks dropping into say hi! My two cents! Hugs V Become a blog watcher sweet_vm
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i agree with a lot of what you say. I began my blog to express sexually related thoughts, share my adventures, and get others' opinions. Lately find myself writing more about my frustration with what I read in blogs or discussed in a chatroom. So I'm thinking ,,,, people can write whatever they want, but maybe I have to stop reading so many blogs and spend less time in a chatroom and just focus on what I came here for.
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One of the real difficulties with being a young person is often not having the skills to deal with self expression in a healthy way. So, regarding the <35 crowd that you write about, I would say that there is some emotional training missing. On the other hand, one shouldn't expect to find what one wants to hear in someone else's blog. They're for the writer, and at least partly exhibitionist by nature. Nice post.
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Although you have some interesting observations, I find, in the end, it's just another post shoulding on people. We should write only about sex, we should know better than to expose ourselves through writing here, and we should only write here if we are looking to meet someone. I have a lot of shoulds in my head too; the difference is I try not to impose them on others. Elevate me... 
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I will respond directly to most who have commented, as for feedback or maybe made assumptions or interpretations of my comment. I do thank all who have said kind words and positive re-inforcement of two things, one, I have the freedom to comment, and that the post was well written and intelligent. Been awhile since I have heard that from anyone! I do want to clear up one thing...I did try not to put a judgemental or 'should' tone or comment as to who people 'should' be or have to be. Far be it from me to make those assumptions I have any means or ability to influence someones choices, other than through dialogue. Judgement of people does not go well most times, and should only be reserved for places and instances where that is an expectation. I am a professional manager of people and spend a lot of time 'observing' and listening to people and their behaviours. I can also tell when my observations hit home with people, as it can trigger basic instinctive responses, like fight or flight. Surprisingly, a strong, reactive, and usually angry response to anything is coming from within the person, not really generated by the other, and many many times, people quickly pre-judge or make ones mind up on how they are going to respond without really listening. So, if you had any strong reactions to these words, think first of why you feel this way...again, self reflection might reveal some surprises! I would love to hear from anyone who wants to comment!
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True, nomatter what else is said about this post, there was some thought put into this one. Cheers.
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This is a thoughtful post that I tend to agree with in terms of the types of blogs we're seeing. I think another problem young men have with writing is they haven't quite made the connection as to how writing over arches so many aspects of our lives and thus, they haven't integrated writing into their life activities. Of course, some young men still suffer from jumbled, confused thinking and emotions that they are unable to describe verbally in some type of cohesive manner. I beg all women of any age, please take the time to listen to your man. He will likely not say much, may actually sound confused and likely a little angry, but if you don't listen (please also don't put the words in his mouth either), you will lose him to his stuggles. Help him communicate, because he really wants to, but he needs to find out how. (no, the English lit majors are NOT the ones I am talking about, but about the banker, the farmer, the cowboy, the mechanic...you know..just us guys)
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Thanks for the refreshing input - and for saying a LOT of what has been on my mind, now I don't need to blog about it with a pretty sunset!
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Keep writing my lady...you are right, its just an observational opinion and in no way pretended it was a reflection of all people.
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I will read your blogs...as I am intrigued..and btw...you do have a sexy way of presenting yourself. . I am wondering just how GOOD you are.... ;-P
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I did read this ladies thread and did comment too. First off your post is awesome and too the point. I did like what you have said so far. We are all here for all kinds of different reason. I like to read lots of blogs and try to comment back into them when I can. As you realize you can't comment into all of them. I started out blogging many years ago to write erotic stories and share them on this site. I had no other place to see if they were good enough or not. So I thank the blog world for their input. I am not back to this world again after been away for many years. Been over in chat room land and now doing a bit of both. I am here to post not only stories now but other things and I most recently joined this group call HNW which has been a good way to meet folks from the site in this wonderful world of blog. Be yourself and have fun and I am sure you will see lots of folks dropping into say hi! My two cents! Hugs V
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i agree with a lot of what you say. I began my blog to express sexually related thoughts, share my adventures, and get others' opinions. Lately find myself writing more about my frustration with what I read in blogs or discussed in a chatroom. So I'm thinking ,,,, people can write whatever they want, but maybe I have to stop reading so many blogs and spend less time in a chatroom and just focus on what I came here for.
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VERY astute observation about 'honour among theives' Very appropriate. Love the white outfit..yummy!
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Although you have some interesting observations, I find, in the end, it's just another post shoulding on people. We should write only about sex, we should know better than to expose ourselves through writing here, and we should only write here if we are looking to meet someone. I have a lot of shoulds in my head too; the difference is I try not to impose them on others.
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Yes this is an ADULT sex site. That however doesn't mean one can not seek out that special person who is like minded sexually. I'm not here just to fuck, but then unlike most men here I have done that in real life for the past 20 some odd years. What I seek is a deeper, sexual connection. I don't need to see endless pictures of pussy, tits, or ass, quite frankly it is like being at a gynaecological conference. What I require is for the lady to bare her mind, her soul and show me who she really is. I know human bodies are compatible, a cock fits in a pussy I need to find a lady who is mentally compatible as well. Through writing you can see who is truly educated, refined, cultured and possesses the qualities I want in a girl. We all have our tastes, live and let live, why so angry? I think you might be the one who needs to look in the mirror and discover your motivation for this diatribe. Perhaps it was as a result of what you lack and not about others. Just my 2 pence worth. Carry on.
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See, that's just it -- I have WAY less baggage as a forty year old than I did even 5 years ago, when I started my blog here. I'm engaged in a lost art -- character building. Yes, on a sex site. And I see no conflict there. We NEED more ethics and character in our relationships with each other! Over my five years here (and btw, I have been to counseling a bit here and there, too), I've gained self-esteem, confidence, I have a career I love (finally thank sweet jeebus), I put my marriage back together, I have stable and loving relationships, and I reached out into the non-profit realm to give back. I reassessed everything about the place of sex in my life, and stopped giving my pussy away to men who could never be worthy of it. I can't express how important my blog was in that regard. I don't need it as much as I once did, but someone I care about who follows my blog told me something that changed my life in response to one of my posts about my family. I read his simple sentence -- "Christy, you have a RIGHT to be angry about this --" and I teared up and my breath caught in my throat. All the unacknowledged anger that I was carrying around was keeping me stuck. Once I understood it was there to such a great extent, I was able to address it, and I healed from the sad parts of my past. I can't swear that everyone who writes a highly personal blog will have the same experience. I get what you're saying about finding it hard not to give advice. Sometimes, what people really need is just to be heard from a place of non-judgment. That is the greatest gift you can give someone. And rather than giving advice, sometimes questions or simple statements can really help them on their way! Age cannot wither her, nor custom stale Her infinite variety. Other women cloy The appetites they feed, but she makes hungry Where most she satisfies. For vilest things Become themselves in her, that the holy priests Bless her when she is riggish. ~~ from Antony & Cleopatra
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