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| Blogs > 1of2dorks > My secret monster |
2nd post for tonight (grab a drink, as it is a rambling sort of post)
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2nd post for tonight (grab a drink, as it is a rambling sort of post) Got to thinking. Got to looking. Seen I have been seen, but so few folks take the time to actually say anything. I have ups and downs, just like everyone else. Some days are better, some are worse, but I am after all human. In that I hope some one out there will take the time to stop look and see. This blog is part of me. it is what I share with this particular spectrum of the world. it is what this site allows to be seen. without more than the entry fee of info which they can use. Anything else costs cash or a submission which again will be used. I know and understand it. as I agreed to the terms of service, it means I accepted it. Now on to the challenge. If you have read this far, get lonely, and occasionally read blogs, or perhaps even nightly find yourself cruising sights looking for a brief piece of the world you can understand embrace, or even accept, consider letting an author know. I will be as generous here as I can. don't acknowledge me, just the ones who make a difference in your life. Of those who have taken the time to look at my blog, I have had three who have taken the time to say anything. I have to admit, that is more than I probably deserve, but still, take the time to let them know they have made a difference. if they inspire you, it is worth it to help them along in life, even if only with words of thanks. As this is a sex site though, I have to admit of much higher hopes. They are hopes, but still, we all want more, otherwise we would not be here, right? Second, even if you don't think some one is worthy, don't neglect them. Trust me on this. I sit on that end of the spectrum. I have been and am down in the dumps of society. I am smart, I have wisdom, I have other traits that help me along in life, but I still have the loneliness that comes from the lack of intimacy that draws others here, seemingly by the thousands. Yet still with what I have going for me, I find a way to be what I am, which is lonely. It is not always company I am lonely for, but intimacy. Even if only in words, I crave it. Like so many others, I crave the desire to be held. To be wanted, and sought after. When you consider how many people there are here, guys VS gals, I know the chances of some one taking an interest are about 25% It is sad. I know it is, but still it is hope. it is what I cling to to make sure I can get up and function each day. I wish I could say I were a better man, but I know in my heart I am not. I feel it. it peels at me a little every day and dries me like so much vegetation in the raw burning desert sun. Or so it feels. Alas, do not lose hope. Take a breath, and give it back. When you have breathed, count what you have, and what might be there, all the hopes dreams and wildest wishes. they are what will hold you over till some one else passes you another breath, and reminds you the world can be worth living for. What I tell you is be that breath. inspire others. give a little back when you feel you have scraped the bottom of the barrel. After all, nothing grows without something to feed on. and the human spirit is the most prolific of things. it can inspire others, give birth to thought, create, destroy, humble, humiliate, and lift up a spirit as well as teach another how to be a better person. in that, perhaps we all have something to give. Only if. That if. it is a big word for so few letters, isn't it? The world is in an if. if she or he will or won't. If I can or cannot. If there will or won't. Looking at it though, it is only a tool. and like any tool, how it is used is what it becomes. Instrument of destruction, or creation. if I use it in the positive, others will flourish, they will grow, they will become! In the negative, things wither and eventually die, as everything is sucked from them through alack of support, lack of food, lack of sustenance. If. If I am good, and I support others, eventually it will come round to help me as well. I see it, know it and support it. Sadly, I have duality to deal with. I cannot be who I am here and in my daily life. I do the same things, I am the same person, use the same words, and do what I do day to day, but see the returns in both worlds are not what I seek. Or is it need? Need. again, another word of definition. I feel I need some things, but even with that need lacking fulfillment I do not die (yes, I know, much the pity). there is another word more fitting here I am sure. Still, the feeling of the word is right, even if the meaning is not. Thus many others understand it, even if they never read this far. Now alas, with too much to drink, my train of though has been derailed by the intent and purpose for being here. Sex. It is not forthcoming. I ask your forgiveness in my shortcomings, and hope for understanding. Hope your night was better than mine. |
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