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| Blogs > jswonderful2010 > Alphasiren~ Swim with me~ |
Underground Lovers
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Underground Lovers I am an adult. I live in a society where people are *expected* to be free to express who and what they are. Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, aren't those guaranteed by our founding fathers? Well, yes...but only if you are into monogamy between a man and a woman. This stuns and saddens me. During my times in alternative relationships I have met some of the most complex and fascinating people. People who have loving families and great jobs. Professionals from every area you can imagine. Police Officers, Social Workers, Nurses, Teachers, Principals, Tattoo Artists, Mothers, Fathers, and even Grandparents! Many upstanding pillars of their communities. Yet, they have to bury their true non-monogamous nature deeply~ thus my title. We have a whole sub culture of lovers who have gone underground. When I think of the act of going underground I think back to things like the underground railroad, to oppression, to repression, the need to be subversive. In a previous posts I talked about how I have a tendency to "go underground" when in times of great distress. None of these things are positive. We are taught on so many levels that sex is bad, shameful and dirty. Words like "naughty" are used as if that is hot and sexy. Or the "dirtier" the better. All of these negative connotations around something that should be celebrated and held in the highest regard. Why do we have the need, as a community of loving, fun and happy people to hide our deep nature to be non- monogamous? My contention is that open sexuality is a threat not just to people but to our society. Just like the witch hunts against homosexuals liking them to sexual deviants and pedophiles, so do we think that anyone who goes against the norm has something wrong with them. That they will prey on and weaker people. I have seen my vanilla friends shy away from me as if I am going to try to get them in bed and/or steal their husbands. I liken it to having a third eye in the middle of my forehead or even better, devil horns and a tail emerging from my body! A sexual deviant is described in the Urban dictionary as: Any person who will try to capitalize on every opportunity that presents itself that has even the slightest hint of a sexual nature. (I had to take a little self evaluation when I read the above description. Am I a sexual deviant? Ok, I am going to save that for another post! LOL!) Given this limited definition, I think that almost everyone I know is a sexual deviant of some kind. When talk to my friends and family about my life and my relationships, they often stare at me in awe of how I am embracing my true nature and creating the kind of life that makes me happy. Authentically myself. Not only am I going through an internal sexual evolution, but feeling the need to start an intense sexual revolution! I like what sexologist Carol Queen says about a sexual revolution: Sex-positive, a term that's coming into cultural awareness, isn't a dippy love- celebration of orgone – it's a simple yet radical affirmation that we each grow our own passions on a different medium, that instead of having two or three or even half a dozen sexual orientations, we should be thinking in terms of millions. "Sex-positive" respects each of our unique sexual profiles, even as we acknowledge that some of us have been damaged by a culture that tries to eradicate sexual difference and possibility. It’s the cultural philosophy that understands sexuality as a potentially positive force in one’s life, and it can, of course, be contrasted with sex-negativity, which sees sex as problematic, disruptive, dangerous. Sex-positivity allows for and in fact celebrates sexual diversity, differing desires and relationships structures, and individual choices based on consent. As individual as each fingerprint, so is each of our own sexual journey. As much as I fight against labels to define who I am to make society feel safe in their own normal realities, I am thriving on creating what makes my soul sing and embracing the type of love and sexual relationships that feed my life and help me evolve into the love positive sexual goddess that I am. I urge people to create space to contemplate where they are in their sexual revolution? If there were no limits and infinite possibilities, where would your relationships go? What type of sexual reality would help you thrive? Would you be where you are? Let your dream see the sunlight. Give it some room to breathe and water to nourish it. I am nurturing a tiny little seed, growing deep roots and waiting to see what grows our of the well tended soil~~~~  Alphasiren~ Swimming through the waters of non traditional relationships~  |
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we enjoy going to club sesso to immerse ourselves with hundreds of other like-minded people. it is refreshing to see that other think like you. and to celebrate the wonderful gift that has been given us.
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5/12/2011 11:27 am |
I find this very interesting. I look forward to following your blog. Thanks for sharing with us.
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8/24/2011 10:20 am |
good post
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