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Blogs > ladyj_1957 > Lady J's Musings

Dominant or Submissive  

ladyj_1957 66F
3233 posts
1/12/2015 2:54 pm
Dominant or Submissive
I answered a question on someone elses blog today about dom or sub. And it got me to thinking further about my answer, which was that sometimes I am more one way than the other. And I thought about what determines the differences.

First off, I truly am more middle of the road, but waiver. I think that certain people bring out my more submissive side and I think that this side is where I have lived most comfortably for the past 35 years.

Of course, comfort is not the name of the sex game. And even with the partners that I have been most submissive with, there have been moments of swinging over to a dominant role. When I think about it, certain acts seem to bring it out. For example, while fellatio can seem to put the woman in a submissive role, if he tries to be more dominant, I will change my loving fellatio into a stronger, rougher version.

Thinking of this made me think, what then really is the meaning of dom and sub. Is it the ability to steer the sex, control its direction and general means? If so, then through my 35 years of sexual experience, I have in the most gentle way been the dominant one in my primary relationship.

A particular night comes to mind. He spanked my tush to a hot pink that lasted into the next morning. There was a nice bit of hair tugging and some good pulling my head closer during fellatio. When we fucked, it was a pounding like he'd never given me before. By all outside means, it appeared that he was the dominant one that evening. However, it was I that orchestrated it all. We had grown to know each other well enough to take nonverbal signals. He read my movements, sighs and moans.

As to what I like.................

I like sweet gentle love making.



I like to receive it hard and relentlessly.



Which is why we say, variety is the spice of life. It's all good, in its turn.

xoxox
"Don't count the days, make the days count"
Shifgrethor 68M
588 posts
1/17/2015 7:33 am

 Power play usually involves the dom calling all shots, and the sub trusting the dom and surrendering to the direction provided. Someone who sometimes wants to be the dom and at other times wants to be the sub is called a switch. It is also possible to be a switch with dom tendencies or a switch with sub tendencies.
For those who love being the dom or the sub, it can extend to nonsexual matters, such as having the dom order for both of you at a restaurant.
Of course, it is also possible to play sexually without explicitly dealing with the power aspects of the relationship. However, as you observed, some aspect of power is always present even when it is not explicitly addressed.


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