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| Blogs > ladyj_1957 > Lady J's Musings |
..........Um?
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..........Um? “Connection and love: … We all want it. Most people settle for connection because love’s too scary.” — Tony Robbins I saw this earlier today and can't get it out of my head. I'm stirred by it, but I'm not really sure in which direction those feelings are coming from. Any thoughts? "Don't count the days, make the days count" |
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My thoughts are: 1. In a way Tony is right because many people mistake connection for love until they have a better connection with someone else, 2. Connection and love also get mired in infatuation, which is mistaken as love until the infatuation fades. 3. Some love is not truly deep love and what people truly want is connection and deep, permanent love, 4. How can people be certain that they have found that 'deep love' when they meet someone and they have all these emotions for someone, and 5. Finding true love is a bit like playing a slot machine in that sometimes you win, sometimes you are close to winning, and most of the time you neither win nor are close (since I am an optimist, I hope that didn't sound too pessimistic because I'll keep putting my money in the machine until I win  .  AKA The Clit Whisperer. 
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4/11/2012 8:55 pm |
Still searching for a definition of "love". And also when do you know...can you tell it is love immediately or do you have to wait a certain length of time? And what if what you thought was love turns out not to be love? How do you know? I'm so confused.
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We all look for both. Connections come in different ways, intellectual, emotional and physical. Each is important in their own way, and we define their importance as they relate to ourselves and the relationship. We can accept the connection with another person on any, or all levels, depending on our wants or needs. To me, love would follow the establishment of a connection. Without a connection it doesn't seem possible. But to define love is beyond my ability. To paraphrase the Supreme Court; I know it when I feel it.
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Too cryptic for me ... not a Tony (Mahavorick) Robbins fan
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Right now, I'm even finding connection to be scary. I was thinking that I once went through a Diane Keaton phase (as in, dressing like her in Annie Hall). Well, I now seem to be going through a Woody Allen phase (as in, acting like a fearful timid bunny). I once made a collection of quotes on love. There are so many different opinions and definitions. I think more than there have been people on Earth over all time. Each relationship redefines it. I had been pestering my lover for an "I love you". He had told me he felt it, but would never say it. That was nice to know, but not quite the same as hearing it. So, I suppose my pestering continued. He finally told me that he had researched the meaning of love and did in fact love me. LOL, funny thing was, it didn't feel as good as the first had. And, I was sad that I had pestered him (okay, tortured). And the silliest thing is that now that we're not seeing each other anymore, I know he loved me. I know because of what I remember. The loving look, caring touch, the special "us" moments, the timing, and.... And although we aren't in touch, I feel the connection is still there, always will be. He's part of me. And I have spent the past 2 months wondering if he still thinks about me. How silly, of course he does. I've become a part of him. When two people connect as well as we did, that connection survives separation. And when you love someone, truly love them, make a conscious effort to love them, then that love lasts and survives separation. "Don't count the days, make the days count"
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You have been thinking about this quite a lot ... connection/love ... love/connection. I hope you come to terms with it all. Closure?
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4/13/2012 12:11 pm |
I don't think love is scary, I think it's hard to define and to know love when ou have it. Ther are a lot of other emotions that are involved...some of which give a short term feeling of love but don't last long. Infatuation that masks itself as love but is very exciting. There is mature love, parental love etc. It's just easier to define connection.
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