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| Blogs > xdrearydancerx > My Blog |
Just S h o ot Me
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Just S h o ot Me Well, I was supposed to have two dates this week but of course I don’t have any now. This may sound tacky but I was texting two guys at the same time. I told them I was off work this Tuesday and Wednesday. Guy #1 told me he was also off and wanted to meet on Wednesday, so I said yes to him. But then guy #2 told me he also wanted to meet Wednesday, which I agreed with. Then I tried to change the plan with guy #1 and asked if we could meet on Tuesday instead. He said that he was okay with this but that the weather might be bad that day. In a few minutes guy #2 told me that he forgot he had band practice on Wednesday so he wanted to meet next week. Plans were cancelled yesterday on Tuesday. He said he just wanted to meet another time because the weather was so bad. I was actually expecting this to happen because this kind of thing happens a lot to me. To me the weather wasn’t that bad. It was cold and rainy but it wasn’t raining hard and then it stopped at around 3:00 pm. Maybe in his part of town it was really terrible? Also we were going to have a mall date. He made it seem like we would be in a park or something. lol This is what I think will happen with guy #1. I don’t think I will end up meeting because I have to keep up with good texting conversations and we also have to see when our schedules match up again. Then when we meet, I still have to have other things to talk about. I think he will just fade. Now with guy #2 hasn’t texted me in three days. I’m sure he’s not interested and probably won’t text me again. He probably doesn’t have time to meet people or he found someone he’s really into. I’m just fed up with trying to meet guys lately. One guy really liked me at first. We skyped a few times and had chemistry. Then he changed his mind about me because he really wants to have and he thought I didn't. We never even met or had a date. lol Another guy who I’m sure was a catfish, cancelled on meeting me twice. Not only that but he made a big deal about not wanting to use skype. He got angry over it. He didn’t even make up any stories when he cancelled. I knew he would cancel both times too. There was something about the way he was talking. The second time when he cancelled and texted me, “Apologies Mariam. I’m going to have to reschedule. What does your weekend look like?” I just thought, “WTF, is this c u n t really serious? Is this is a f u c k i n g joke?” But the reason stuck around with this guy for a few weeks is because we had a phone conversation and he also sent me a video of himself. It seemed like a real video because he said, "Hello Mariam, this is me....blah blah blah." I guess he edited it? I don't know what he did. I will have to make a separate blog about this guy because he was very interesting. Then right before guy #1 there was yet another guy who cancelled on meeting me. He was very rude and inconsiderate too and he didn’t even seem to realize it. I should have pointed it out to him. We had been texting over okcupid for like two weeks but didn’t really have substantial conversations. One night he wanted to exchange and meet for drinks the next day. I wasn’t keen on the idea but agreed to. I stupidly thought, “Well, maybe I’ll just meet him to see what he’s like.” He didn’t text me until 3 hours before we were supposed to meet and I was surprised he texted me. I had a bad feeling about him. Instead of getting ready I just told him, “Well, it doesn’t seem like we are going to meet tonight.” He told me that he was still at work and maybe we could meet at 10 maybe. MAYBE AND AT 10?!! Either make solid plans to meet someone or FUCK OFF!! Why did you even agree to meet me at 8 if you are still at work?!!! I mean he is probably lying about what’s going on and only wants sex. I’m fine with some guys only wanting sex but they have to BE HONEST, CONSIDERATE AND, POLITE!!!!!!!!!!! I looked at his pictures again on okcupid, not that he’s ugly but I got a bad impression from them. I ignored his other texts and thought I was better off not wasting my time. The last date I went on was in September and I wasn't interested after we met. Actually, I wasn’t sure about meeting him. I should have just made something up and called it off. I didn't want to tell him I wasn’t interested and he kept texting me until I blocked him. This just irritated me. Guys who actually seem interested in me and want a second date, I’m never interested in. I don’t even have to try with them and they are so willing to kiss my ass!!! But since meeting this guy I have just been texting different guys but it never got to the point of meeting. Something always happened. I feel like there is a curse on me. Please don't tell me I'm a terrible person and I deserved this. It's normal to date around to see who you like the most before you get serious and just date one person. To be honest, I never really dated around anyway. Nobody I like ever asks me out. I'm the type of girl who goes on one bad or unpromising dates every few months or a couple of times a year. |
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 take your time in meeting, follow your instinct, and stop beating yourself up, its not you . find people that you have some common interest with, that a start and then go from there.never rush into anything. good luck in your search to find some happiness 
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12/3/2015 4:56 am |
I can see it clearly. you don't want things to work. Online or in real life, you do your best to short curcuit things. Maybe ask yourself some basic questions: Do you like being with men? Do you think you are worthy of a guy's attention? Both of these seem to be easily answered after reading entry after entry that keep coming up with the theme of "just my luck". stop whining and start living! You gotta value yourself before anyone else will.
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 this sounds like your rushing again...look at yourself and understand just what it is that you want in a mate. as you stated " the ugly girls have boyfriends they don't deserve." well how do you know this? and how do you know what they are doing do get a man and keeping him interested in them. like i said, time heals all the hurt and please understand the true meaning of the word patience . now some of what you said i do blame the men, and i understand and hear what your saying, look in other places to meet and greet
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12/4/2015 5:23 am |
You just have to let yourself be open to meeting guys, go the mall, the grocery store, coffee place, anyplace! Just get off trying to meet people online, it may seem safer, you can reject anyone for any reason and you are unhurt, but I swear, you need to just 'let go' and be open to meeting a person in REAL LIFE. Yes, it's scary and dangerous to you, but replace those insecure feelings with a sense of fun and adventure and you're half way there. I love running into women who I find attractive, it's exciting, no matter where i see them. Our eyes meet, maybe we talk, and and things just happen. No reason why you can't just open yourself to that concept, clearly online is not the way to go for you. wish you were here, you and I could go out and I'd show you, you'd be amazed how much fun it is to just meet someone and go for it. I do understand your fears, but it's like a fence you have to jump over and you will see how easy it is. Life is not scary once you take hold of your fears and go for it.
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