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Gone but not forgotten
Gone but not forgotten I have been working in a Nursing Home for just over three months. I am not a nurse, but have very close contact with the people who live there. The first couple of weeks I found very hard. Seeing how people end their lives. There were a few deaths, but I hadn't been there long enough to get to know them. Today, two of them passed away. I had gotten to know them. It made a world of difference. One of them said to me a couple of weeks ago, that she just wanted her memories and life back. The other, one of the sweetest ladies you could ever meet. I took her her supper. She wanted her dressing gown, but was too week to reach out and get it. It was only about a foot away. I thought she was cold, so asked if she would like me to put it on for her. She said no, she just needed her teeth out of her pocket, so she could eat. I am glad they are both now at peace. But am so sad at their passing. I wonder how many more are to die before I have to change jobs. I hope I was able to brighten their days. It is so hard not getting close to some of them, especially knowing that they might not be here for too long. Some of them have no family or friends to visit,or are too busy, or just don't care anymore, until they are about to die. I will keep going as long as I can. I will try and make their last days or months a little happier for them. This is dedicated to all those in Nursing Homes. May you find Nurses and other staff, who are willing to ease you into the next life, whatever your beleifs. |
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7/17/2009 5:41 am |
have a great weekend
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Awww As I think I've said to you before privately, my mother ended up in a care home when she lost the plot, not really a nursing one but similar. I couldn't believe how young and so happy (seemingly anyway) the staff were in their job. They were great. Mind you, most were from eastern europe I think! I couldn't do that kind of work. Well done you. And I'm sure you did/will brighten their days
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7/17/2009 3:05 pm |
Keep happy for them (and yourself), some of them don't have anything else and you provide so much for them. Worked there myself occassionally, (not in the care side of things), you all do a fantastic job. X
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Hi M As you know, because we have talked about it often, I owe a great deal to the kindness of the staff who looked after me and my wife when she was dying last year. On a personal basis and on a professional basis, you are the salt of the earth. You will never get the reward you deserve but please try to comprehend the value of the support you give to others. Have a pleasant day and keep laughing. Jim
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have a great weekend
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Wish there were more people like you. So sad to see such wonderful human beings dumped in a Nursing Home, and forgotten. It is so hard for the nurses to spend quality time with each and every one of them, as their work load is too heavy. That's where people like you and may I say it, me, can fill in a bit of the void.
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Awww As I think I've said to you before privately, my mother ended up in a care home when she lost the plot, not really a nursing one but similar. I couldn't believe how young and so happy (seemingly anyway) the staff were in their job. They were great. Mind you, most were from eastern europe I think! I couldn't do that kind of work. Well done you. And I'm sure you did/will brighten their days Some like your Mum have lost the plot, but still enjoy a smiling face, and someone to talk to. Even if they ask us the same question over and over again.
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Keep happy for them (and yourself), some of them don't have anything else and you provide so much for them. Worked there myself occassionally, (not in the care side of things), you all do a fantastic job. X So I guess, I will shed tears for a bit longer when they go, and welcome in the next lot.
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Hi M As you know, because we have talked about it often, I owe a great deal to the kindness of the staff who looked after me and my wife when she was dying last year. On a personal basis and on a professional basis, you are the salt of the earth. You will never get the reward you deserve but please try to comprehend the value of the support you give to others. Have a pleasant day and keep laughing. Jim They have not had the chance to experience lifes wonders. With older people dying, they are able to tell you (in some cases) of their wonderful lives. The people they have loved,places they have been and so much more. The only reward I seek is, if I spend my last days, months or God forbid, years in a Nursing Home, that the people working there take the time to treat me as a human being, not just another body in a bed.
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As you know, mum spent many years in the same profession. She also worked in a nursing home in oz, but also worked as a warden when she came back here. So I spent a great deal of my childhood surround by the old. I got to know a lot of them, I even spent my time taking their dogs for a walk when they go too frail to do it themselves. We also ran a bingo & social club for them. And it was very upsetting when they passed away. But sometimes, their deaths were more of a release from the pain, they were suffering. Than for us to feel sorry for their passing. But we do so anyway!
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As you know, mum spent many years in the same profession. She also worked in a nursing home in oz, but also worked as a warden when she came back here. So I spent a great deal of my childhood surround by the old. I got to know a lot of them, I even spent my time taking their dogs for a walk when they go too frail to do it themselves. We also ran a bingo & social club for them. And it was very upsetting when they passed away. But sometimes, their deaths were more of a release from the pain, they were suffering. Than for us to feel sorry for their passing. But we do so anyway! Reily, who some how always managed to know when Mum was baking a cake, and would just happen to call in. The other is, Mrs Drummond. It was her dog you used to take for a walk when she lost her leg. Wonderful life story. Being kidnapped by American Indians, because of her red hair. Her Father being in the Canadian Mounted Police. Their faces, might be a blur after all these years, but they are not forgotten, as I am sure the two wonderful ladies I had the luck of knowing, will stay with me for many years. Also the others that will pass on while I am there.
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There are two that stand out for me that I met while home on holidays. Reily, who some how always managed to know when Mum was baking a cake, and would just happen to call in. The other is, Mrs Drummond. It was her dog you used to take for a walk when she lost her leg. Wonderful life story. Being kidnapped by American Indians, because of her red hair. Her Father being in the Canadian Mounted Police. Their faces, might be a blur after all these years, but they are not forgotten, as I am sure the two wonderful ladies I had the luck of knowing, will stay with me for many years. Also the others that will pass on while I am there. I'm sure she could hear the kettle going on. You were close, it was Mrs Drumm. You also forgot the bit about them finding her fathers horse, dead at the bottom of a ravine, but never finding his body!
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There is no way I could do the job you do. I am sure I would become too attached to some of them and not function well on their passing. I personally do not know anyone who is in a nursing home or care, however I am sure they appreciate a friendly face and the assistance you provide as I know I would.
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There is no way I could do the job you do. I am sure I would become too attached to some of them and not function well on their passing. I personally do not know anyone who is in a nursing home or care, however I am sure they appreciate a friendly face and the assistance you provide as I know I would. The smiles are for when I am at work, the tears are for when I get home. The day I am not sad or shed a tear for them, is the day I should leave, or it all becomes too much for me. Until then, they will all be special to me in their own way, even the really difficult ones, for they know not what they do.
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Death is indeed a continuation, but of what, we do not know. We only know of the end. The end of seeing our loved one. The end of happy times together. The list goes on and on. Some of us might fear death, as we do not know what is on the other side. It is always harder for the ones left behind. I will continue to make however long they have left as pleasant as possible for them. The smile I have for them does not leave my face when I leave their room, as there is always another room next door. The being strong is the hard part.
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A soft, warm breeze spoke with me today and the range of waves quietly whisper sounds of silence, to send my voice gently on the wind and caress those in all walks of life with its warmth to rest beneath with old fashioned prayers to find comfort in words I can not express! It is a small sound but can be heard far away for when the wind blows, tho we do not know where it comes from or where it is going, so listen closely, as the gentle wind, quietly sings its song of happiness, listen to its song, and it will lead them to its safe place and find comfort with GOD's healing hands and may He never close His fist too tight My Friend! There are no forces or elements of nature that can remove what is written in the heart. What the heart has once owned it shall never lose, I promise You that! Thank You for sharing your beautiful inspirations with true meaning that words can not express and for quality time shared with those who you have touched in your own special way makin' their hopes brighter as this day comes with your warm smiles! ~Vaya con Dios Y Amor En Su Corazon Siempre ~
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A soft, warm breeze spoke with me today and the range of waves quietly whisper sounds of silence, to send my voice gently on the wind and caress those in all walks of life with its warmth to rest beneath with old fashioned prayers to find comfort in words I can not express! It is a small sound but can be heard far away for when the wind blows, tho we do not know where it comes from or where it is going, so listen closely, as the gentle wind, quietly sings its song of happiness, listen to its song, and it will lead them to its safe place and find comfort with GOD's healing hands and may He never close His fist too tight My Friend! There are no forces or elements of nature that can remove what is written in the heart. What the heart has once owned it shall never lose, I promise You that! Thank You for sharing your beautiful inspirations with true meaning that words can not express and for quality time shared with those who you have touched in your own special way makin' their hopes brighter as this day comes with your warm smiles! ~Vaya con Dios Y Amor En Su Corazon Siempre ~
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This is a great post marysia. I have heard similar stories from others in the past, and they say you do get used to it, though I am not sure I would want to. It is crushingly sad that family can be too busy to care to visit their aging relatives, but it is also wonderfully hopeful that people like you can be there for them, even if it is what you are paid to do. I think if you can help them through what must be a dreadfully frightening and lonely time, just by showing them that you actually care about how they feel, then maybe it is worth your pain. Maybe they feel better knowing you are around to listen to their memories and to pass them their teeth. Maybe you can use that to rise above the sadness and be happy because of the value of the work that you do. I didn't even know you had a blog until today.
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This is a great post marysia. I have heard similar stories from others in the past, and they say you do get used to it, though I am not sure I would want to. It is crushingly sad that family can be too busy to care to visit their aging relatives, but it is also wonderfully hopeful that people like you can be there for them, even if it is what you are paid to do. I think if you can help them through what must be a dreadfully frightening and lonely time, just by showing them that you actually care about how they feel, then maybe it is worth your pain. Maybe they feel better knowing you are around to listen to their memories and to pass them their teeth. Maybe you can use that to rise above the sadness and be happy because of the value of the work that you do. I didn't even know you had a blog until today. I do not do it for the money, as it is a really poorly paid job. Hope you read some of my other blogs, not all of them are sad ones. Dare I mention that book again? Yes I will. If you wern't so engrossed with that book, you would have seen the 'View my blog' under the responses from me to your blogs. Ok. You can tell me the book thing is wearing a bit thin. Lol
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